Chapter 12: Donuts, Pinky Promises, and What the Fuck


Steve and Bucky looked up from where they were sitting on the couch the next morning, some video on YouTube playing on the television that neither of them was watching but left on to avoid the silence, when as the bedroom door opened. When they heard footfalls, they jumped to their feet only to see Lindsay turn the corner.

"Morning guys," she said, waggling her fingers at them. "Sooo Darcy's feeling a bit under the weather."

"That so?" Steve asked after shooting a look at Bucky, who looked at his feet before collapsing onto the sofa.

"Yeah, so…" Lindsay said, running a hand through her hair nervously.

"Breakfast."

"Huh?" Lindsay asked, frowning at Steve.

"If it's a hangover, she's gonna need breakfast," he said quickly. He grabbed his wallet off of the coffee table and took out a few bills, shoving them into Buck's face. "Why don't you two go get us some? There's a donut place around the corner, or there's a diner a few blocks away."

"Uh…" Lindsay chewed her lip and glanced down the hall towards Darcy's room.

"Buck'll go with you," he added. Her eyes darted over to him, and something in her face hardened slightly. 'Oh yeah,' Steve thought. 'She definitely knows what happened'.

"I'll shower while you're out, so it'll be open when you guys get back. And then we'll head out for the day...run a few errands."

"I don't..." the woman sighed before shaking her head. "Just let her sleep, okay?"

"I will," Steve nodded before turning to look at his weary boyfriend. With a huff, Bucky pushed off the couch and grabbed the cash.

It took a few minutes for the two to head out, during which Bucky refused to meet Steve's eye again. He'd been beating himself up all night about that kiss, tossing and turning before falling into a light sleep, jerking awake anytime there was a sound on the street.

Alone, Steve took a steeling breath and wiped his sweating hands on his track pants. Never in his life had he thought that there would be a moment where he was better with women then James Buchanan Barnes - and he wasn't entirely sure that this was going to be that moment. While Buck's 'kiss first, talk never' tactic wasn't the best, at least it got his point across.

For as many times as they'd been in the apartment, Steve had never been in Darcy's room - he'd glimpsed in while headed to the bathroom, but never actually gone in. It was strangely intimate, pushing open the door slightly and glancing around. An overflowing laundry hamper stood in one corner next to her dresser, on which stood a jewelry tree and the bluetooth speaker they'd gotten her for her birthday.

She had her back to him, the covers kicked down to the foot of the bed. Softly, he rapped his knuckle on the door, "Darcy?" He saw her tense slightly but she didn't reply. "Darce?"

He couldn't help but smile as she rolled over and pushed her purple sleep mask up to her forehead before meeting his eyes. "Hmm?"

"Mind if I come in?"

"Um," she said before whipping the mask off, sitting up, and pulling a pillow up to cover her chest. After putting on her glasses, she said, "I guess."

Steve pushed the door open and entered the room, stepping over a pair of shoes and Lindsay's open suitcase. He sat on the edge of the bed and gave her a wry smile. "So about last night."

"Fuck," she groaned, dropping her head to the pillow in her arms as she drew her knees up. They sat in silence for a moment until she looked up at him, an upset look on her face. "Steve, I'm so sorry -"

"Why? You didn't do anything."

"I just... " she said, fingers digging into the pillow. "I don't know what I did to make him think that…"

"Darce?" Steve smiled, reaching out to touch her arm. "You didn't do anything. And I'm not mad at either of you. Well, maybe a bit at him for not talking to you first."

"Talking to me?" she frowned. "What, like giving me a five second warning?"

Steve chuckled and ducked his head before glancing up at her through his eyelashes, "More like talking to you about us."

"You guys? You're not - "

"Us," he repeated, his hand trailing down her arm to her wrist as his face flushed.

"Us?" Darcy squeaked, looking down where his thumb was lightly stroking the back of her hand. When Steve shifted closer and took her hand in his, she rolled her lips together and gulped.

"Yeah," he nodded, trying to meet her eyes as his nerves started to fail. "Welikeyou."

The silence was deafening. Steve managed to glance at her stunned expression before his eyes and hand fell to her bedsheets, eyeing a small hole where they'd snagged in the washing machine.

"You...uh," Darcy gulped after what felt like a century later. "You wanna run that past me again?"

Steve cleared his throat and said more slowly, "We...erm, Buck and me… we kind of like you."

"Oh...okay?" she said, her face flushing bright red as she pulled her hand away. "Um...thanks for telling me?"

He let out a sad chuckle and reached out to run his finger along the frayed edge of the hole; the silence was getting to an uncomfortable length but he couldn't think of anything to say. Steve actually startled when Darcy's hand came down on his, stilling his finger.

"Steve?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't want to have sex with you guys."

"What?" Steve sputtered, his eyes shooting up to meet hers. She was worrying her bottom lip and her fingers were clenched on the pillow but she met his gaze.

"I love you guys, I really do, but I think…," she trailed off before taking a steeling breath and saying in a rush, "Ithinkthathavingathreesomewouldruinourfriendship."

It took Steve a second to parse out her words, and then his face went red. "No! We don't want to have sex with you! I mean, yeah, at some point but… but for now we want to date you." (Internally, he made a mental note to get in a few good licks when he next sparred with Bucky for leaving him to do all this on his own - if he could have just waited until they had a minute to talk before he went and kissed her.)

The silence that fell between them stretched far past uncomfortable before Darcy cleared her throat and squeaked, "You want to date me?" Steve nodded. "But what about James?"

"Buck...he wants it to, too."

"But you guys…"

"Yeah," Steve said, taking a chance and shifting a bit closer. Darcy watched him but didn't move away, instead clutching the pillow a bit closer to her chest.

"Both of you?" she asked softly.

Steve huffed a laugh and ducked his head. "Buck's not too good with the words, but I think he might have got the point across last night. And me? Definitely."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"That's...erm," Darcy started before clearing her throat again. "That's a lot before coffee."

Chuckling, Steve shook his head. "I'll go start a pot before I shower."

"Sounds good."

"Alright," he said, reluctant to move his hand and break the contact. But eventually he stood, smiled at her, and made his way out into the hallway. Before he pulling the door closed behind him, Steve paused. "Just think about it, please?"

"Okay."

He heard her muffled 'What the fuck' as he closed the door.

OOO

Darcy heard the shower start from where she was sprawled in her bed. She'd spent the night tossing and turning - to the point of Lindsay elbowing her in the ribs and threatening to make her sleep on the floor - unable to sleep. She'd felt on edge, her anxiety spiked and her heart racing. It was stupid to feel this amped up over a little kiss.

But that was nothing compared to right now.

It was one thing to have a friend kiss you. It was another to have his boyfriend say they wanted to date you.

"Fuck," she huffed, putting her glasses on the nightstand and rolling onto her stomach, burying her head in a pillow.

There was no way that this was actually her life. It had to be some weird, alcohol induced dream. Because there was no way that Steve and James would have actually wanted to date her too. That would just be weird… right?

Three people dating each other? Not entirely unheard of - hell, Darce was pretty sure there was a guy in her department that was in a poly relationship (she had thought he was dating someone new until both women had shown up at a department mixer). But it was never really anything she'd seen herself doing. Especially not with her soulmate and his boyfriend.

When the coffee pot beeped, Darcy pushed herself out of bed with a groan. Maybe things would be a bit cleared once she was a bit more awake.

She said she'd think about it. She owned them that at least.

OOO

Breakfast - an assortment of donuts, muffins, and breakfast sandwiches with iced coffees from the chain down the street - was a nearly silent affair as they gathered around the television, watching late night comedians talk about politics and the news of the day. The guys had insisted that they'd sit on the floor while Darcy and Lindsay took the couch. The silence was punctuated only by Lindsay's phone going off with texts from her husband.

"Are you fucking…?" she huffed before putting her muffin on the coffee table and standing up. She stepped around Steve, phone to her ear, and moved towards Darcy's bedroom. "What do you mean he won't keep anything down?!"

"'M sorry."

Darcy's eyes darted down to James as she fiddled with her coffee straw; he was looking at the television intently, and his hand gripping the knee he'd drawn up to his chest.

"I shouldn'ta…"

Steve reached over and put his hand over Bucky's, squeezing it gently, not daring to look up to see Darcy's face.

They were still looking at the television when she leaned down and placed her coffee between them before wiping the condensation from her hand and hesitantly placing it on Buck's shoulder.

"You guys didn't want the Boston Cream, did you?" she asked, leaning forward towards the open box on the table.

"'S all yours, Doll," Steve chuckled. Bucky's shoulder sagged under her hand before he reached up to cover her hand with his gloved fingers. He felt a spark of hope flare in his chest, and he tipped his head slightly so his cheek brushed Darcy's wrist.

"I'll be there soon," Lindsay sighed as she walked back into the living room, rubbing a hand over her eyes.

"Everything okay?" Darcy said quickly, pulling her hand away as though it had been scalded and refocusing on her best friend.

"Mom called Joey to say that JR's been sick and fussy all night. He was cutting a tooth when I left, but I guess he's pulling his ear now and - I swear to god, if he has another ear infection…" Lindsay left out a defeated sigh. "He's gonna go pick up JR from my parent's and bring him home. I guess Cassie's got a bit of a fever, too, so Daddy/Daughter weekend is being cut short."

"Oh no!"

"Yeah. Hopefully it's nothing, but Joey's worried since it's both of them at once. The pediatrician said that if JR has another ear infection, we might have to put tube in, so I'm going to head home just in case."

"Okay, yeah - absolutely! Go take care of your munchkins."

Lindsay huffed and rubbed a hand over her forehead. "I'm gonna jump in the shower, then hit the road."

When one of the comedians mentioned the scientists the Avengers took down, Darcy quickly navigated back to the main menu and picked a pop culture video rather than anything political.

OOO

"Should we leave?" Bucky asked as Darcy and Lindsay left the apartment - Darcy had been adamant about walking her friend to the car she'd parked a block away. They stood by the window, watching the two women walking away.

"Dunno," Steve shrugged. "We'll see what she wants."

"D'ya think she's mad?"

"Dunno."

"I fucked up."

Steve sighed, slinging an arm around Bucky's shoulders. "Maybe not. She didn't seem mad this morning, just confused. S'not an easy thing to wrap your head around."

"You seemed to pretty easily," Buck snapped, pushing his arm away.

"Didn't take much arm twisting for you either," Steve huffed.

"We fucked up, Steve. We shouldn'ta done this."

"Buck - "

"She's gonna say no, because it's a fucked up thing that we asked. We can't drag her into all of our bullshit," he growled, motioning to the television. "It's too much - she needs someone normal."

Steve frowned and didn't say anything for a moment. "Well I wish you woulda said something before I asked her."

The haunted expression on Buck's face reminded Steve too much of the one he'd had for the first few months he'd been at the Tower - it was a mixture of equal parts fear, disgust, and longing.

"Buck - "

"I'm gonna shower."

OOO

"Give the kids and Joey a hug for me," Darcy said as they neared Lindsay's car.

"Will do. You gonna be okay alone with those two?"

"Yeah," she said, blushing slightly. Thankfully, Lindsay was too focused on getting her car unlocked and her bag shoved into the backseat to notice.

"Alright! I'm off. Sorry our girls' weekend got cut short."

"Hey, we had all day yesterday, hit a bar, had some fun - it's only Saturday so maybe you all can go out of Cassie and JR are feeling better tomorrow."

"Yeah, fingers crossed...Fuck, it's always both of them. Day care is the worst!" Linds huffed before shaking her head. "You sure you don't mind?"

"Of course I don't mind. Go! Be the awesome mom I know you are."

"You've gotta come out and see us one weekend."

"I will. Mom and Dad have been on my case about coming home too. And when I do, I'm kidnapping the kids."

"Pinky promise?" Lindsay asked, holding up her hand with her pinky extended.

Darcy laughed and linked pinkies before they both leaned forward to kiss their fists, "Pinky promise."

"I'll hold you to that."

"When have I ever not been good for a pinky promise?"

"Yeah," Lindsay smirked before laughing.

"Have a safe drive back. And let me know when you get there."

"I will," Lindsay said, pulling Darcy in for a hug. "Let me know if I have to come back and kick James' and Steve's asses." She pulled away just enough to look her dead in the eye. "I'll do it if you need me to."

Darcy laughed, blinking away tears in her eyes, and hugged her friend tighter, knowing that she would do it in a heartbeat if asked. "I think I got it covered."

"Happy to be back up if you need it. Alright, I gotta go - want a ride?"

"Nah, I'll walk." It would gave her time to think.

She waved as Lindsay pulled away, smiling as she honked the horn for three short blasts - they'd been doing that since they'd first got their licenses. With a sigh, Darcy crossed her arms under her chest and turned to trudge back to her apartment, knowing that there was going to be an awkward conversation waiting for her.

It came a bit sooner than she'd liked when - as she turned to go up the last few steps to the landing - Steve stepped out of the apartment, garbage bag and empty donut box in hand.

"Lindsay get off safe?" he asked.

"Yeah…" Darcy said, swiping a piece of hair behind her ear. "Where's James?"

"Showering." A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "I figure he might be trying to drown himself."

"It'll be a cold way to die," she shrugged. "He'll be lucky if there's any hot water."

Steve chuckled as he walked to the trash chute at the end of the hall. Darcy went up the last few steps and waited for him. When he neared, he motioned for her to precede him into her apartment and then made a beeline for the kitchen sink to wash his hands. She'd just folded one of her throw blankets when Bucky emerged from the bathroom, rubbing a towel through his hair and wearing a pair of jeans slung low on his hips.

Any red blooded human being wouldn't begrudge her for a lingering examination of James' impressive physique, but her attention was drawn to his arm. In the years that they'd known one another, James had always been careful not to let her see his prosthetic very often - he'd only worn t-shirts around her a few times, preferring to wear longer sleeves and a glove anytime there was the possibility of interacting with anyone else. Common sense and Steve told her that it was something he was touchy about and was definitely OFF LIMITS in conversation. Of course, she knew it was mechanical - it was hard to ignore the faint whirring and clicking once you knew what to listen for - and there were were grainy images across the internet of him, but she'd never seen it above his elbow in person.

And she'd definitely never seen the scar tissue that fused it to his shoulder.

"What the fuck?" she breathed. James' expression froze as he slung the towel over his shoulder, covering the joint.

"Forgot my shirt," he muttered. He headed for his bag, stepping around Darcy. She followed him with her eyes before looking over at Steve, who was wiping his hands and watching his boyfriend with a wary expression.

"Does it hurt?"

Bucky didn't pause in his search, finally locating a Henley and - briefly - allowing her another glance at his shoulder as he dropped the towel and pulled the shirt over his head. "No."

"In the mornings, sometimes," Steve answered. Bucky shot him a withering look as he pulled a glove over his hand.

Darcy shifted her weight, glancing between the two men. "I kind of want to hug you right now, but you look very angry and I feel like it would be awkward given the whole," she waved a finger in a circle to encompass them all while biting her lip.

"Forget it," Bucky said. "Forget he asked."

"We asked," Steve corrected, frowning.

"Why?" Steve and James turned to look at her, and she flushed under their gaze. "Not why forget it - I mean, yes, that too - but," she faltered before clearing her throat. "Why me? You guys could have anybody join... do… yeah."

Steve laughed and rubbed a hand on the back of his neck while looking up at the ceiling. "You two are meant to be," he chuckled, remembering that Buck has asked almost the exact thing. He looked over at them just in time to catch the glance that passed between them.

"Forget it," Bucky sighed.

"We're gonna get to that in just a second," Darcy said. "I still wanna know why me. Is this, like… something you've wanted to do for a while? With other people?"

"No," Steve and Buck said as the same time.

"So… just me?" Darcy said before clearing her throat, readjusting her glasses, and giving them a nervous smile. "I guess that's kind of flattering."

The silence that fell over them wasn't awkward, just heavy with expectation. Darcy shifted and fiddled with her glasses again, biting her lip and looking anywhere in the room other than at the two men who seemed to take up more space in her apartment than usual.

"You feel like home."

Darcy and Steve turned slowly to look at Bucky. He was frowning at the floor, his ungloved hand flexing before slipping into his pocket.

The silence stretched out to an almost uncomfortable length. "I…" Darcy started before clearing her throat. "I don't know what to say to that."

"Buck?"

He dragged his eyes from the floor to meet his boyfriend's weary expression. And wasn't that a stupid term, he thought. Steve was more than a boyfriend… they may not have one another's words, but they were as good as soulmates.

It took everything in him to open his mouth - to fight against the decades of training not to say a word, to simply be a mindless drone for others - to repeat, "You feel like home."

Steve knew that expression, recognized the internal fight Buck was experiencing. And he knew that if he took a step towards him, he'd spook.

But Darcy didn't.

"James," she said softly before moving towards him. And, like he expected, Buck tensed, trying to push away his fight or flight response. Darcy hesitated a moment, just long enough to break both men's hearts - it wasn't going to work, they'd asked too much, being with them was too difficult with their mountains of baggage - before she threw herself at him.

James froze. Instinct told him to shove her away - it would be so easy, she wouldn't be able to do anything, the attack would be handled. It was a mammoth struggle, but slowly - telegraphing his movements to a nervous Steve - he moved his hands out of his pockets and wrapped his arms around her.

Darcy let out a breath she'd been holding since the night before. She'd been afraid that this would feel different, and there was no way to deny that it did with a new weight of expectation, but it was still James that she was hugging. And Steve.

They were the guys who made coffee for her whenever they stayed over. Who bent over backwards for her the moment she made the mistake of complaining.

James was the guy who'd gone through her apartment, fixing door and windows that he didn't believe were secure enough. Steve was the guy who laughed at him even as he installed a new chain on the front door.

Steve shifted as Darcy turned around to look at him. When she stepped away from Buck, his hand trailed along her waist.

"You're sure about this?" she asked. "About…wanting to try this?"

"Yeah," Steve gulped.

She nodded before clearing her throat. "I don't want to lose you guys if it doesn't work."

"You won't, Doll," he assured her. "You're stuck with us."

Darcy hesitated before slowly nodding. "Ok. We can give it a trial run."

Steve reached out and took her extended hand, feeling a swell of happiness rise in his chest as he looked over her at Bucky's surprised expression. After a moment, he gave her hand a tug and pulled her over, folding her into his arms. Darcy could almost feel the happiness, protectiveness, and possessiveness pouring out of him. It was weird… but not entirely unpleasant.

"Darce?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I kiss you?"

She was quiet for a long moment before pulling back to look up at him.

"It doesn't feel weird to you? Wanting to kiss me while your boyfriend is right there?"

"No. Do you think it's weird?"

"It kind of feels voyeuristic."

"I don't have to - it's fine," he stuttered, trying not to feel his heart sink. Darcy groaned and leaned into him, lightly banging her head against his chest.

"It feels weird! You're Steve! You're James' boyfriend! You're my friend!"

James leaned back against the wall, his face going carefully blank.

"It's okay," Steve said, giving her gentle squeeze and taking a step back.

"I'm sorry," Darcy whispered, her eyes dropping to the floor.

"Don't be. Darce, it's fine" he reassured her when she folded her arms across her chest and rocked back onto her heels.

"Darcy?"

She could see James reach out to touch her before hesitating and letting his hand drop - she hadn't even heard him move from across the room.

"Only when you're ready… if you want…"

With a long sigh, she lowered her arms and reached out, hooking her pinky around Steve's before burying her face in James' chest.

"Promise."


Author's Note: Thanks for your patience, guys! Major thanks to my awesome beta Kat Loving for helping me revise and edit this chapter. Hope it was worth the wait =)