The Crystal Melody

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy.

Notes: My eyes hurt so badly.

FIC START!

Part 12

The next morning, Canti woke up so dizzy underneath her blanket that looked like a deep, dark star-studded sky. Her body was covered in sweat from head to toe. She hadn't woken up like this in what felt like forever. That dream sex was so intense... so life=like. That Emperor knew how to light her fire, how to lead her along to serving his every wish... She pulled the blanket up again, tucking it under her chin. She let out a mighty yawn. How relaxed she was... Working on the Spring Music Festival would be a cinch with not having to worry about all that stress from yesterday. Papa Cid would be there and taunt her with a donut before letting her have it, she'd glomp Kain and make him turn redder than the rubies on Minwu's robes. She'd giggle like a little girl with Vanille. And she'd be productive today. So much would get done. So much would be taken care of. The Music Festival would unite so many heroes and keepers alike, bringing smiles to literally everyone around the entire university. Canti took a deep a breath. What a perfect feeling to wake up to!

"Good morning, my lady."

Suddenly her eyes widened out of shock. No, no no no. He was a dream. That was a dream. It was the world where Papa Cid... she looked behind her, to the wall closest to her that the bed was propped up against. Mateus laid there, under the other half of that blanket, just as naked as she was. "Oh..." she murmured, blinking a few times. "G=good morning, my Emperor..."

"Did you sleep well?" he asked.

"Yes..." she nodded, reaching immediately for her clothes. "...I feel absolutely amazing this morning."

"Perfect," he said, lying there as he watched her. "Why do you hurry?"

"There's so much that needs to be done, and I want to get an early start on it," she said honestly. She pulled the pieces of her uniform out of her wardrobe, slipping everything on rather quickly. "Come at your own pace, my love."

"Understood."

Canti snatched up her bag, not even bothering to do much with her hair aside from just make it look presentable. She needed to get out of there as fast as possible. Even if she had tons of work to do regarding the Spring Music Festival, there were a few more things she wanted to take care of unrelated to that. She was almost running through the halls, trying to get away as fast as she could. Once she came across her old observatory, she stopped. She was breathing so heavily. Wow, she really was a weakling in this world, wasn't she? She noticed that the doorknob had rusted over. Odd. She didn't abandon this place. It served as her office and favorite place to study for years. Canti looked into her bag, feeling around for her keyring. There was a yellowish-copper key that was meant for this door. But she couldn't find it. She bit her lip, shaking her head. So... this wasn't her place now? But... all her stargazing and...

"Excuse me, miss," a voice said behind her. "Is something wrong?"

"Oh..." she turned her head to see who was speaking to her. It was none other than Kain! It was odd to see him wearing his dark armor from the days he was torn apart from his dark days in the times after the Crystal War. "...Kain! I'm so glad to see you!"

Kain shook his head. "I'm afraid I don't..."

"You don't remember me?" she asked. "I'm only the keeper that saved you and brought you here."

He hesitated before he spoke again. "Oh... oh! Now I recognize you. Thank you kindly for what you've done for me, miss. I am indebted to you for that."

"...Kain..." she said worriedly, stepping close to him. "...I... I've missed you..."

"Now... why would you do that?"

She didn't know what to say. In this world, he didn't stay by her side. He didn't become her first party member, he wasn't the one who taught her to fight or... literally anything else. It seemed that by waking up, she lost her entire connection to the Highwind family. "...I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to trouble you, Kain..." She did everything to hide the fact that her eyes burned with tears. They were closer than friends but maybe not entirely lovers. She hoped they would have been. "I'll... just... go now..."

"I... I did not mean to-"

She just left the door of the observatory where it was, so this wouldn't be so awkward. There was no reason to look for a key she didn't have, especially if the door was rusted over like that. Clearly no one had used it. Not even her. Canti went to the main foyer of the campus, looking around. There was the stage that her party helped her set up before, but other people were on it. Was she really in charge of organizing the Spring Music Festival? She decided to head over there and see what was going on.

"Ah!" a girl looked up from where she was hooking up the electronics. "It's you!"

Canti blinked in confusion. "What?"

"Don't worry," the girl said, smiling. "Everything will be set up very soon so you can make your announcements."

"I didn't..."

"No, you didn't have to," she continued, pushing her teal hair out of the way. "We were given letters regarding our duties yesterday."

Canti sat down on one of the spare amps, wondering exactly how this was all being set up if she wasn't the one giving the direct commands. Was Mateus doing it behind her back? Or, with her permission that she wasn't aware of? Who was the one doing all the leading regarding this...? She kept thinking about it until there was a tap on her shoulder.

"I need to put this away, sorry."

"No, no," she got up and tried to lift it to hand it over. What? She was so weak she couldn't pick up an amp? Canti decided she was going to have to lift some weights or something. This bard arm strength was going to kill her somehow eventually. "I... guess I can't... help..."

"You aren't supposed to. You're the director and organiser of the event, not some volunteer help."

"Actually, I'm not being paid for this, so... technically I am a volunteer," Canti corrected her, letting out an exasperated sigh. This world wasn't right. She shook her head and said, "I'm gonna go get a donut. I'll be right back."

"Why don't one of us go get it for you?" another one of the helpers asked.

"Fuck that," she said, causing all of them to gasp. "I'm fully capable of going and getting myself something to eat." She waved her hand and headed towards the cafeteria. The place looked as it always had. A plain place to eat for the entire student body and those it hosted. She grabbed a tray and suddenly the thought crossed her mind. If Minwu and Papa Cid weren't there to scold her about her sugar intake, did that mean she could have an entire stack of donuts bigger than an airship propeller? She cracked a smile as she seized a plate and began to load it up with all sorts of donuts, pastries, fruits, cakes, and pies. It was a wonderous pile that she hadn't been able to have since she didn't have a party that cared to look after her.

"You seriously don't expect me to allow THAT to slide, do you?" Balthier said. He was standing there, glaring at her. "Just because I've not been with you this morning... tsk, tsk."

"Since when did you care about my diet?!" she snapped.

"Since it's become my job," hesaid, snatching the plate away from her. "You're allowed one pastry per breakfast. You know that."

"...I miss when it was Papa Cid scolding me..." she muttered, taking one chocolate donut off the entire mountain of goodness and placing it on another one that she loaded up with fruits instead. "...you've always been a troublemaker, not anywhere near as straightlaced as Minwu..."

"I must admit I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Yeah. I know you don't," she said, taking her plate and sitting down with it. How odd. The rules were still the same, but it was someone else that enforced them? What sense did that make? Who put it in place that she had to have a limit on her sugar intake, if it wasn't Papa Cid's directive?

Balthier sat with her, holding his own plate of eggs and bacon. His dining manners were impeccable. Canti thought about it for a moment. Balthier was born to a very wealthy family, but pushed away from his father when the gentleman started acting erratic about his scientific progress, right? She remembered how he told her about his running away from it all, becoming a treasure hunter - a sky pirate in his home realm - to seek out adventure. To look for something he could never find. That night was so cold, when they were lost in the middle of Cosmo Canyon and no more stamina to progress and her keeper's badge malfunctioning to prevent her from just bringing them home. That was the night she grew feelings for him at all, as she fell asleep against his shoulder, telling him about her issues with her father. About her issues regarding family in general. They had become kindred spirits and understood each other's mannerisms that much more. How she longed for that night. The night when he gave her the cookie from his rations and smiled when her eyes lit up brighter than any other he'd ever seen. "I finished that research for you," he said, slipping her a piece of paper.

"R-really?!" she instantly perked up. "What did you find out?" She eagerly opened the paper up. "Oh... he is alive...! That's..."

"I have no idea why he would be the one you dreamt of being your father," Balthier said cooly. "He is virtually unimportant to the realm's history, and-"

"I don't care," she said, standing up. She stared at what was written on the paper. "I have to go. Thank you so much!"

"Where do you have to go?" When she turned around to leave, Mateus was standing there with his plate in his hands.

"I, I have some very important Music Festival duties and-"

He snatched the paper from her hand. "What does this have to do with the Music Festival?" he clenched his hand around the paper. "Sit down, finish your breakfast. Most of your duties are being taken care of by those who signed up to help. You don't need to be involved."

"...you did that," she said. "You gave them their orders without consulting me first!"

"You took a nap yesterday, and I took it upon myself to see to your duties," Mateus replied, sitting down next to the place where she had been sitting.

"Just because I'm the one in charge of directing doesn't mean I don't have to do anything..." she said, shaking her head. "You can't do that! I don't care if you're my fiancee, you still have to talk to me before you make decisions regarding my responsibility to the university!"

"I don't know where this willfullness of yours has come from," he said, taking her hand and forcing her to sit down. "But I've had quite enough of it."

"You don't get to-"

"Be silent," he said much more forcefully. "Do not antagonize me further."

She glared at him. Even if she didn't say anything verbally, there was plenty of communication with facial expressions and body language.

"Eat, princess," Balthier suggested. "If you eat, I might let you have an extra donut..."

"Oh shut up," she growled at him, not taking her eyes off of Mateus. "You're just a paid mouthpiece. Your words mean nothing when you're hired to act a certain way and throw away who you really are."

"I'm afraid I don't understand," he said, somewhat laughing.

"...yes you do," she said. "You... were once an inspiration for me.. you helped me understand so much, gave me someone to relate to because of our common issues regarding family. Y=you were..." she dare not finish that sentence aloud where Mateus could hear it. He was her first love. He opened her heart in a way no one else ever tried. He tended to her but as a friend, a peer, a lover. "...so brave to stand up in the face of danger, to encourage me to stand up when I wanted to die..." I loved you, she thought.

"Another dream of yours?" Mateus asked.

"...maybe it was..." she whispered, tears forming in her eyes. She reached into her purse to find her keeper's badge and identification cards. The people listed in her party were completely different from what she remembered, which was something she all ready expected. Balthier, she knew about. Though she had no idea if he was going to fight the same way he did when he served as her Second in Command before. The rest of her team wasn't gathered there for breakfast, so she doubted that they were even friends. She knew who Cecil was. Kain's companion, a knight. Specifically, a paladin. Meant for protection. Another person was the Warrior of Light. Another knight, the beloved protector of Princess Sarah that had fought off the being known as Chaos from destroying the First Realm. And the last member of the team was Beatrix. A lady knight that fought similarly to Cecil, with the powers of light and protection. While she knew who they were, she also knew that these were holy and sacred people, upholders and protectors of those considered weaker than them. Why three knights and a mechanically inclined thief? What? Where was the offensive magic, where was the grander healing magic? And, more importantly... where was Mateus?!

"You need to let your dreams go," Balthier said gently. "They will distract you from what you have to do here."

"Here, in this state, I'm a pathetic weakling that doesn't do anything herself, apparently. People offer to make my plate, people do my research for me, people do my own work for me. I don't get a say, I don't get a choice, I just live to worship this-" she pointed at Mateus "-vision of perfect beauty. You're the best, I absolutely adore you... While I love doing that, I don't like feeling absolutely useless. In my dreams, I'm... a dragoon. A warrior with a spear. I'm strong and confident and maybe even arrogant. I have a party full of friends that treat me like family. I have... a good life, even if... it isn't all perfect..." She felt her eyes burn. Goddess damn it all, all she'd been doing here lately was crying when she realized just how much she missed who she was and the circumstances around that. "I got hurt a lot because I would make bad decisions, but they were at least mine to make!"

"But here, you do not need to worry about anything," Balthier said.

"Might seem weird to you, but... I loved that life. Even if, in the moment, I felt like some things were missing... but I realize now that I was happy." She finally picked up the donut off her plate and bit into it. At least here, the donuts tasted the way they were supposed to. Light and fluffy with a slatering of chocolate icing across the top. "And while I was there... the Emperor himself was the dream."

"...utter nonsense," Mateus said. "You must focus on where you are now. If you let dreams cloud your mind, you will lose what you have now."

"Answer a question for me," Canti said, holding up her keeper's badge. "Why are you not listed in the party?"

"I do not go into the realms with you, so that I might keep your duties here taken care of," he explained. "We had this agreement for a long time now. I can take care of what you need done here while you are out in the field."

"That's... not right. As someone from the realms, you can't do that. That's against the rules-"

"...I do not understand. If it was against the rules, why did you not tell me while we were forging the agreement?"

"Because, I..." she sighed. "...I don't know. I don't remember. I don't remember anything about this place from before I woke up from my nap yesterday. It's like... my entire life had been what happened in my dream and suddenly, I'm here. What does that tell you?"

"Do you wish me to come with you in the field?"

That was a good question. She didn't know if she wanted that or not. It seemed like Mateus all ready had so much control over her now that it almost scared her. She didn't know how to answer. "...you should do what you believe is best," she said.

"I believe I should take you back to bed and take you until you submit," he answered. "Submit so deeply that your dreams of another reality fade from your mind and I am the only thing you can think of."

She nodded. "Then... do that..." Even if she had to tell him that she's forgotten it, she couldn't let it go. Balthier gave her that paper - Cid Highwind was alive, and she was going to find him. She had to go to the Seventh Realm. Find out what happened. Break away from him however she could. Canti had no idea how she was going to do it, but... as Mateus forced her into an incredibly hard kiss, she swore that she would get to the bottom of all of this.