I do not own Warriors.
Chapter Eleven
Tallkit was no longer Tallkit. He, and the other kits who were around his age, Shrewpaw and Barkpaw, were now apprentices.
Finchkit tried not to feel jealous about this. Tallpaw was her brother, he was an apprentice, and he was something she would never ever be.
If I hadn't died, I would be Finchpaw. I'd be training - maybe I'd be a moor runner, just like Tallpaw!
The day that Tallpaw had become an apprentice was a very memorable one. She and Mothflight, who she had at last come to terms with (mostly because she was scheming something behind the older StarClan's cat, so whenever Finchkit was in Mothflight's presence, she remembered that), had been watching from the Starpool. Finchkit was always impressed whenever she saw the proud and noble Heatherstar, standing above the other cats of her Clan, strong and certain of the words she was saying, believing fully in StarClan.
It's funny how living cats are more confident in StarClan than StarClan cats are, Finchkit had thought, her thoughts wondering away from the apprentice ceremony going on in WindClan.
An argument had broken out. Heatherstar remained cool, but the pale sandy tom that Finchkit recognized proudly as her father, Sandgorse, was angry, furious even, demanding that his son, her brother, be made a tunneling apprentice.
She loved her father. He was strong and solid, and confident in what he knew. She liked him because he was kind, but also expected things, from what she had seen when she walked secretly in his dreams. And she related to him, too; he could be calm, but he had a fiery temper when angered. But mostly, she liked him because he looked like her.
But of all the things, she couldn't understand why Sandgorse loved to tunnel.
Being terrified of small enclosed spaces and of the underground was one of the first things she'd found in common with Tallpaw. No cat should run around in the dirt - they belonged in the wind, close to the stars, or walking in the sky like herself.
At last the argument below settled. In the Starpool, it was always difficult to hear exactly what was happening below, conversations always distorted by the layer of water that seemed to separate the dead from the living. But Finchkit knew her brother was now a moor runner, certainly.
And it just wasn't fair, that he was alive, that he was an apprentice, while she was up hear, stuck as a kit forever. He got to be a moor runner too? Finchkit knew that if she were still alive, she would want to be a moor runner. Somehow she knew, though, that she would've been a tunneler. It would've only been right; she couldn't disappoint Sandgorse too.
Not like Tallpaw had disappointed their father.
That was what made Finchkit do it. As a StarClan cat, she had the ability - though strictly restricted by all of the dead - to control a cat's reaction to something.
That was why, somewhere down there in WindClan, Tallpaw was probably feeling like a terrible disappointment, because his father had acted so upset about the turn of events at his ceremony.
I love you, Sandgorse, Finchkit had thought as she watched, later, alone without Mothflight. I wouldn't have disappointed you. Do you ever think about me? Do you miss me?
Finn, the weird kit she'd met in the forest, had also come to WindClan with his mother Belle. There was much discussion among the Clan, but at last Heatherstar had decided to welcome the two, and they'd quickly adopted to Clan life. Just as she'd watch Tallkit become Tallpaw, she watched as Finn received a "proper warrior name," as Mothflight had said, becoming a moor runner apprentice to Appledawn by the name of Cloudpaw.
He would always be Finn to her.
Bell, his mother, did not join the ranks of the warriors; maintaining her loner name, she retired to the nursery, taking care of Finchkit's mother, Palebird.
Palebird was another thing, Finchkit reflected. She'd spent many nights watching her mother toss and turn in the nursery, calling out for Finchkit in a mew wracked with pain, heartbroken for the kit she'd lost.
I would be with you, Palebird, Finchkit thought, feeling her mother's sadness. But StarClan took that from me - from us. And I wasn't happy at first with what happened, but now I know why I died. I have a destiny here, just like Tallpaw. And you'll be so proud of me. I have friends now; the other kits, we've become closer, for the most part.
She was always eager to plunge into the Starpool and visit her mother when nightmares haunted Palebird, but it always seemed that Mothflight was always there too tell her off for trying whenever that occurred. Over the past moon, it had become increasingly difficult for Finchkit to sneak away from the Rock and go to the Starpool on her own; the kits were ceaseless with their energy and their attention always seemed to focus on her.
Which wasn't a bad thing. She just missed being at the pool alone; she missed watching Tallpaw and Sandgorse and Palebird as they lived their lives, their lives that were so different and yet so similar. And she'd only talked to Finn - Cloudpaw - once more after their initial conversation, and it was very soon after her first meeting with him. By this point, she didn't think he remembered her anymore.
And that made her sadder than it should've.
But perhaps the most startling revelation, after reflecting over the month, was that she'd come to terms with her death, mostly. Well, maybe not her death. She was not so negative about it, although seeing Mothflight brought a bitter taste to her mouth every time, and she still felt envious of the kits who hadn't died, down in the Clans below.
No, the most startling revelation was that she had grown fond of Tallpaw at last.
There was one other thing that had haunted Finchkit's paws the last moon. Yes, there was the prophecy, still ominous and unclear; being very practical, Finchkit was desperate to decipher its meaning so that she would know what to do. But there was also the truth of what StarClan really was. Countless times she'd brought up the subject, hinting indirectly in hope that she'd clue the other kits in. And every time, just as she'd grown frustrated enough to decide to tell the truth outright - there was Icekit, intervening in a cold and scolding mew, suggesting they play some game that distracted all the kits from the very important thing Finchkit was trying to tell them.
It was very annoying.
"I'm leader this time!"
"No! I am. You were leader last time!"
"It's my turn! You guys are always leader!"
The scuffling of Leafkit, Sandkit, and Willowkit was something Finchkit had grown used to in the past moon - Leafkit, headstrong as always, liked to prove she was the best. She had a good sense of humor, but she used it mostly to humorously insult her sisters, and she always wanted to be leader whenever they played Clans.
"I say Foxkit should be the leader," Icekit decreed in a lofty voice.
"Yes!" the russet tom hissed triumphantly. "See, I'm diplomatic! I'll make a great leader because I'm peaceful."
"But the other Clans will go to war with us!" Leafkit complained. "That's why we need brave and strong leader to rule the Clan!"
"Sounds like Foxkit," Falconkit commented drily.
"I mean me," Leafkit deadpanned.
"I'm sorry, but brave and strong are the last words I'd describe you with," Falconkit mewed.
She hissed at him, prepared to pounce.
"No, no, no fighting Clanmates," Foxkit intervened.
"Go away, Foxkit," snapped Leafkit.
"It's Foxstar," he replied triumphantly. "And my deputy is Falconkit."
"No!" wailed Leafkit. "I don't want to play."
"You never want to play when you're not leader," Sandkit complained, and soon the four littermates were arguing again.
Finchkit sighed. Birdkit, who was standing next to her, pale tabby pelt shining softly under the light from the distant stars, shot her an understanding look.
"It's amazing," she commented. "In StarClan, kits will always be kits, so we have to listen to them fight for eternity." She padded up next to Icekit, who was watching the argument with amusement gleaming in her blue eyes, and quickly broke up the arguing littermates.
"What kind of Clan are you if you can't even get along?" she chided.
Joined by her brothers, Harekit and Reedkit, Birdkit proceeded to lecture the arguing kits about getting along, sounding very serious despite her kit-like voice.
Finchkit sighed again. She'd had fun playing Clans the first few times - now, she was tired of it.
Well, maybe if I was leader...Finchkit's thoughts trailed off. Finchstar. Something that'll never ever be.
"You know what we should do?" Finchkit asked, speaking loudly. Her pelt immediately started bristling as it was penetrated by the stares of many kits.
"What?" Heatherkit asked.
"Has it ever occurred to you why we never ever get our 'paw names?" asked Finchkit. Immediately, both Icekit and Skykit narrowed their eyes at her - one gaze was cold and calculating, prepared to cut her off at a moment's notice, and the other was curious, wanting to see what would happen. Since her talk with Skykit by the Starpool, they'd grown close, but no matter how Finchkit pried and begged, Skykit refused to help reveal the truth to the kits. But she was clearly eager for them to kow.
"Not really," Midnightkit spoke up, but he seemed to be thinking about it now. "I mean, Midnightkit just sounds right now."
"Splashkit sounds better though," Splashkit said loftily, with a flick of his brown tail.
Finchkit interrupted as Leafkit opened her mouth to add her own opinion, determined to keep the conversation on track. "For a change, why don't we make ourselves apprentices? Aren't you tired of being a 'kit?" I certainly am, and I'm the youngest. Imagine what these kits' warrior names could've been - aren't they the slightest bit ready for a change?
Not for the first time, Finchkit felt the boundaries of StarClan pushing down on her, even though she wasn't even sure if StarClan had a limit. Perhaps that was what often made her feel so scared and pressured; she knew there was more out there, more to StarClan than just the Rock and the Starpool and the land between. Other than Mothflight and the occasional visit from Windstar and another old leader, Graystar, Finchkit never saw any of the older StarClan kits. Often, she wondered if they were the only cats here.
The other kits looked around at each other, clearly content with their names and their boring afterlives on the Rock.
"Well, I did want to be an apprentice," Goldkit spoke up at last. "I remember playing with my littermates - I became a brave warrior named Goldsplash, and then I became Goldstar! But then I came here, and then growing up to be a fierce warrior didn't really matter anymore - there was no need to fight."
"Goldsplash is a stupid name," Falconkit snorted grumpily.
Leafkit flared up, even though she had no need to get involved - "Oh right, and Falconclaw is totally original, too."
"But you wanted your name to be Leafpool, and that doesn't even make sense," the dark tom shot back scathingly, his fur prickling. "How can you have a pool of leaves? Pools are made of water and leaves aren't."
"That's not what Leafpool means," the she-kit hissed. "It means a pool of leaves - "
"And it's not important," Grasskit interrupted, looking immensely annoyed. "Honestly, can't you two go a heartbeat without arguing?" Having mewed what he needed to, he fell back to licking his light brown pelt, littered with scars just like the rest of his littermates.
"Hmph," both Falconkit and Leafkit growled at the same time, and then simultaneously glared at each other when they realized they'd meowed at the same time.
"You were saying, Finchkit, about apprentice names?" prompted Sunkit curiously.
"Well, um," Finchkit began, having lost track of her train of thought. "Right. Aren't you all tired of being a 'kit? I mean, I know we can't age...but why can't we grow in a different way?"
"Because," Icekit spoke up, her piercing gaze unreadable, "we are in StarClan, and in StarClan, everything is always the same."
"No!" Finchkit replied, failing to keep a note of distress from her mew at the idea that things would never change. "If things never changed, then how can anybody be here?"
Icekit replied, "Things are different in StarClan than they are in the Clans below."
"Right!" Dapplekit spoke up. "StarClan's the best Clan."
Like she had every time she'd tried to bring anything interesting up, Finchkit felt herself exasperatedly giving up. "Fine. Keep your stupid kit names if it makes you happy."
She was annoyed when all the kits happily nodded and complied, turning back quickly to what was important to them; figuring out who would be leader, deputy, and medicine cat in the time-consuming Clan game.
"I think I see Mothflight," Finchkit mewed glumly to nobody, excusing herself.
"Have fun!" Silverkit, Songkit, and Lilykit all mewed in unison, and then promptly fell to purring in amusement.
"Oh my stars," Finchkit muttered in exasperation. "I can see why StarClan doesn't tell you anything."
In truth, she hadn't actually seen Mothflight; she just wanted to get away from everything. She was so annoyed at everything; nobody cared about anything but games! And games weren't real. They didn't mean anything in the long run.
She was tired of waiting around up in StarClan, while down below, each step Tallpaw took led him one step closer to his destiny, a destiny she was supposed to share with him. But so far, Finchkit had accomplished nothing at all.
I wish Sandgorse was in StarClan with me, she thought longingly. He would understand me. He would look at me and know what was wrong with me. He would love me. Or Palebird. I can see how sad she is down there with Tallpaw - if I hadn't died, I bet she would be so much happier. Maybe Tallpaw's doing something wrong to make her so sad all the time.
Suddenly a new thought settled on Finchkit, and with it, a new resolve. It's not fair that Tallpaw gets both our parents. I should at least get one. They're all disappointed in him anyway. Won't Palebird or Sandgorse be thrilled when they come to StarClan and see me? And then I'll have something worth being here for. A family.
She almost purred in delight, and sending dirt flying underneath her starry paws, Finchkit bounded into the trees, towards the Starpool, knowing exactly what she wanted to do for once.
Author's Note: ...Please don't kill me for the late update...although I kind of deserve it considering how utterly AMAZING you all are and how utterly HORRIBLE I am as an author. I hoe this was a semi-interesting chapter at least. I know it's kind of like - whoa! Time skip! - but I was thinking through and it didn't seem right to continue from where it left off, and I felt like maybe the plot was going to slow? So I skipped a moon ahead, kind of like Erin Hunter does sometimes in the book. So now you might have two reasons to murder me. But before you do...IT'S LONGER THAN NORMAL.
Also, I'm trying to incorporate all the kits as best I can, so sorry if you left kits for me to use (much appreciated!) and didn't see any of them in this chapter. Also, if you gave me their personality, I am trying to have them stick to it, but sorry if the way they act diverges.
Thank you to everyone who reads this! I really appreciate it - the support is amazing.
Snowcrystal of Thunderclan: It would, wouldn't it? I'll have to add more with the two of them. I guess it is, but I really appreciate it! Thank you for reading and reviewing!
Hand Knit: Good! I like her too, but I'm the author, so it's great to know that readers are enjoying her character too! Me too, though. Expect (hopefully) sadder chapters involving the kits in the future - all of them, not just Grasskit, Skykit, Snowkit, and Rabbitkit. I'm not sure, canonly speaking, where StarClan cats go when they die. Finchkit doesn't know either - just as a sort of joke, I said that they go to StarClan 2, but having no evidence to back this up, I frankly have no clue. That's interesting to think about! Thank you for reading and reviewing!
The Aurahunter: Thank you! That is a huge compliment and I'm so flattered! I'm glad you think it's a good idea - I loved Tallstar's Revenge. I cry every time I read it. It's a problem. But Tallstar is one of if not my favorite cat in the series. And ever since reading the Super Edition, I kept wondering about Finchkit, since we don't know much about her. I knew I wanted to do something with her, so this is what I came up with, although some other ideas involved either an alternate universe in which Tallstar died and Finchkit lived, and what would happen then, or a story in which Tallpaw, after Sandgorse died, was taken to StarClan to see how different life would've been if he'd died and Finchkit lived. I don't know. This is what happened though, obviously. I'm glad you're enjoying this! Thanks for reading and reviewing!
Mistyecho101: No problem! Sorry there wasn't a lot of StarClan secrets, but I'm thinking in the next chapter I'll write something about how, exactly, StarClan takes living cats from their Clans and essentially, for lack of a better word, "kills" them, but in a less gruesome manner...I'm glad you think the story is cool, though! That's definitely always good to know. Thank you for reading and reviewing!
Pancake Unicorn: Yes! I'm glad you love Skykit! I do too, but it's great to know that readers are enjoying her character too. Hopefully in the next few chapters there will be more information revealed, and sorry if these chapters are a bit slow. And I sort of guess this chapter was a cliffhanger? I'm glad you love this story! Also, I'm so flattered that you'd favor this if you had an account! You definitely should get one, if you can. I'm sure you'd write some great stuff too! Your welcome, and thank you for reading and reviewing!
Mistleaf: Okay, I had Appledawn as Finn/Cloudpaw's mentor. We don't see much of that cat in Tallstar's Revenge, so she definitely works. Also, Bell kept her name like you asked! And it's fine with me. I'm still debating whether to have Doespring crush on him, so I'll give you an update as soon as I figure out what'll work. If it does happen, it probably won't be a major thing, and just a heads up, I'm pretty awful with crushes, both when writing and in real life. Please pity me, I'm so socially awkward. Anyway, that was totally random, but I'll also try to incorporate the other parts regarding Finn/Cloudpaw that you asked for. I'm glad you like Skykit! I like her too, but it's great to know that readers enjoy her character too! She does seem very calm and wise, doesn't she? I think it's what Finchkit needs, though. Thank you for all your eager support, and for reading and reviewing!
BooksRCoolYeah: Skykit is cool. And sorry that Snowkit wasn't incorporated much in this chapter, but I have written everywhere that she needs to make more of an appearance. So hopefully that'll happen. Okay, I'm glad you figured out what was confusing you, and I'm so sorry that confusion was caused in the first place. Hopefully majorly confusing chapters will no longer be a thing, but let me know if anything's weird! Thank you for your support! And thank you for reading and reviewing!
jadewolf334: I'M SO GLAD YOU LOVE SKYKIT AND THINK SHE'S AWESOME! I do too. I definitely agree that Skykit is a good influence for Finchkit - look, she's not so depressed anymore! Well, she might still be, considering her darker intent at the end of the chapter...and the two will probably be best friends. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter, and I'm also super glad that I managed to make an interesting StarClan, because I'm basically going off of the parts in the canon series that have StarClan in them. So far, unfortunately, Finchkit has failed in breaking the news...she is trying to be gentle about it, but I feel like it's a combination of Icekit and the other kits' innocence that is making her hinting strategy a lot harder than she wanted it to be. I'm also super glad you liked Finchkit's moment of sarcasm - I will try to include more of that! You should definitely read Tallstar's Revenge though, again! Among the Super Editions I've read, it's my favorite, for sure. It makes me cry every. Single. Time. And I'm thinking in the next chapter, there will be that interaction between Palebird and Finchkit. Yes, definitely, regarding Tallpaw's jealousy. I kind of based Finchkit off of Tallpaw, and then gave her a different personality with similar traits. Your welcome! And I'm so glad you love it. I'm so sorry for the late update. I wanted to write something worthy of you and all the other amazing readers out there! Thank you for reading and reviewing!
WyldClaw: I do feel bad for Mothflight! I feel kind of like a terrible person for making Finchkit hate her...not that I hate her myself. I'm also glad you like my prophecy. I've got the skills, haven't I? Just kidding. I'm awful at coming up with prophecies generally, especially when they rhyme. It took me so long to come up with this one, so I'm glad you liked it! And yes, poor Finchkit too. I always feel very sad whenever I write a chapter, and I have a feeling I'm just going to get sadder...I'm glad you like all the kits, too. Hopefully they're coming off realistically. Thank you for reading and reviewing!
