Author's Note: You know what my new favorite thing is? Victorious! And I am perfectly ok with being a 23 year old woman who enjoys children shows. I also like iCarly


Nothing made Selina and Harley feel older than watching the young groupies at the Iceberg Lounge. They had tiny little tummies, toned abs, and braless wasn't an option for them, but a certainty. They didn't have to work out, they didn't have to watch their calories, they were just young and beautiful. But nothing made Selina and Harley feel younger than being backstage at the Rolling Stones concert. Suddenly they were in their early twenties again, jumping up and down, dancing to the music, and singing their hearts out without a care who saw them. The energy was high voltage electric. Everyone was excited and just as high energy as the duo was. It was almost as if the 70s were back and once again The Stones were the number one band in the world.

Selina wandered over to the buffet table loaded up with all kinds of goodies, and get herself a plate which she took over to the lush black leather couch in the band's dressing room. She flopped down onto the couch feeling exhausted physically but mentally wound tight. A feeling she hadn't had in awhile. Harley was close behind, and with a grunt she plopped down next to her brunette friend. She tried to sink into the couch but her leather pants restricted her leg movement and they were unable to slide against the leather sofa.

"Damn pants," Harley muttered.

"They make your ass look good though," Selina replied.

"Thank you. Give me a piece of shrimp."

"Get your own shrimp!"

"Why are you always so stingy with the shrimp?" Harley moaned as she tried to get up off the couch.

"Because it's delicious."

Harley dragged her butt back out into the main room where the buffet was set up and quickly piled food on top of her own plate. She felt him before she heard him. Every time he entered the room the atmosphere shifted. It was almost paranormal. A chill would run down her spine, her hair stood on end, and she couldn't stop her breath from catching in her throat. The music was loud and yet she could hear his footsteps as he slowly, gracefully, sauntered over to her. In her mind she could see his walk, one foot in front of the other like a model. All lines and angles, nothing soft about him physically, except the walk. There was something different though, the distinct sound of leather rustling with each step. She wouldn't look. Wouldn't turn around. That's not how the game was being played anymore. This was all hers now. Her game, her rules. She was the master and so far the score was two Harley, Joker zero. She popped a shrimp into her mouth and waited for him to say something to her when the footsteps stopped immediately behind her. He was so close she could feel his breath on her ear as he leaned forward.

"Real cute Harley," he whispered with slight edge of anger.

"This? It's just something I had lying around the hotel room," she replied knowing full well that he wasn't referring to her ensemble.

"Don't play dumb, we're far past that."

"Awe but I'm so good at that game."

Joker spun her around so she had to face him. "You could've at least left a key."

"But where would the fun be in that? I quite enjoyed imagining the different ways you could've gotten yourself out of that pickle. My personal favorite is where you chewed through your wrists." She gave him a quick once over. He was indeed wearing leather pants, and a black button down shirt with the first few buttons undone to reveal his ghostly white chest. She wanted to swoon but instead she quirked an eyebrow and adopted a look of pure disinterest. "Nice pants."

"I realized I had been wearing that suit for a couple days, I needed a change. And since I was going to a rock concert…" he trailed with a wave of his hand.

"Well you fit the part, I guess."

He took a shrimp off her plate and dropped it into his mouth. "Don't you want to know?"

"Know what?"

"How I did it. How I got free."

"I thought a magician never revealed his secrets."

"I'm not really a magician now am I?"

"And since you still have both of your hands, I'm not really interested. You know, when Hannibal Lecter was handcuffed to Clarice Starling, he cut off his own hand to save hers."

"In the movie?"

"Yeah."

"I like the book better. They end up together."

"A happy ending? How sweet."

"You're getting bitter with age my dear."

Harley leaned against the table looked up at him with her eyes. She let a twisted sadistic smile dance across her lips and before Joker could comment, she delivered a knee blow right to his groin. He dropped down in front of her and she stepped over him. "I kind of like this Hannibal/Clarice parable. I want to be Hannibal though, I played Clarice for far too long. Enjoy the concert." She bolted for the dressing room and grabbed Selina by the arm. "Grab your plate dear, we have to go."


Selina woke up to the sound of a familiar ringtone on her phone. She had to stifle a smile, afraid that somehow he would know she was happy he was calling. "Hello Bruce, she purred sleepily.

"Did I wake you?" he asked.

"Yeah but I need to get up anyway."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. What's up?"

"Nothing, I just…I don't know. I needed to call you."

"What time is it? Isn't it really early or late there?"

"It's really early here."

"You're not patrolling."

"I'm grounded."

"Grounded?"

"Yeah, Alfred grounded me."

"Are you allowed to use the phone?" she laughed.

"Maybe, I'm not sure."

"So what got you grounded?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"You know I've already seen the video."

"You did?"

"Yes."

"When I saw it I had flashbacks to your catfight with Talia."

"Ugh, don't remind me how I lowered myself to her level."

"Anyway, now I know how you feel."

Selina smirked. "What possessed you to barroom brawl with your son and the James Gordon?"

"I wanted to pay the bill."

Selina couldn't hold it in anymore. Riotous laughter echoed off the hotel room walls. She laughed so hard her ribs hurt and she let out a snort before simmering down.

"I'm happy you find joy in my pain."

"I'm sorry."

"No you're not and that's ok. I just wanted to do something for Dick. I don't know."

"What do you mean?"

"I know I griped and bitched about him basically moving back in after he and Barbara broke up but it was nice having him back. Now he's back out and not just on his own but getting married. I can't do things for him anymore. I can't take care of him. I can't watch out for him like I could when he was a kid. I just wanted to do one last thing and he just wanted to prove he was a grown man by buying dinner and then Jim…he was probably having the same thoughts as I was. But the thing is, Barbara is a daddy's girl. She always will be. Jim will always be able to take care of her. Dick stopped needing me a long time ago."

Selina listened, she knew that's what he really wanted.

"And then there's Tim, and I was thinking that I at least still had him but he's all of a sudden bringing Stephanie around, and it's only a matter of time until he's off on his own."

"Stephanie? What happened to Harley?" she teased.

Bruce grunted. "I have enough problems without the addition of Harley Quinn to the Wayne family."

"I think your thing for bad girls is rubbing off on the boy."

"Yeah, god knows Steph isn't an angel. At least she's a kid. And she isn't so bad. Wild for sure."

"Hate to break it to ya babe, all teenage girls are wild."

"I feel like it was just yesterday I was wrapping the counters in bubble wrap," he sighed.

"What?"

"Nothing. The worst part about this is, I'm getting old. Its bad enough they don't need me but I'm also getting old. I found a gray hair the other day. I wanted to die."

"Now you sound like Ivy."

"She has gray hairs?"

"She dyes her hair, never tell anyone."

"Do you have gray hair?"

"No, I'm twenty seven."

"Liar."

"Quiet Hugh Heffner."

"Oh god."

"You're not old, they're not really your kids remember."

"I still feel old."

"Selina!" Harley yelled. "Wanna grab lunch?"

"In a sec Harl," Selina called back.

"I should let you go," Bruce sighed.

"Yeah, I can't let her roam about alone. Joker showed up last night and now this game of cat and mouse is getting complicated. But, before I go, let me give you some advice. Call Jim and apologize. You're kid is marrying his kid and he already doesn't think the world of you. Call Dick, apologize as well but don't just throw out the, I acted like an ass thing, tell him the truth for once. You'd be surprised how well he understands. And maybe you should spend some time with Tim so you don't end up locking Stephanie in a box and shipping her off to Africa so he doesn't see her anymore."

"Yes ma'am."

"Don't ma'am me, I'm not that old."

"Thanks for talking."

"Anytime."

"Selina…"

"Hmmm?"

"I miss you."

And suddenly there it was, the elephant no one wanted to talk about. She had rehearsed this moment a thousand times in her head but suddenly every scenario, line, comeback was gone. She was blank. As she racked her brain for something to say, her mouth took over and blurted out the truth, "I miss you too."

"Selina!" Harley yelled. "Hungry!"

"I'll talk to you later." Bruce hung up without waiting for her to say goodbye.

Harley was not waiting any longer. She burst through Selina's door only to find Selina sitting up in bed clutching her phone. "Whoah boy. What happened?"

"He misses me," Selina said dreamily with a smile.

"Oh yeah?"

"He misses me and I told him I missed him."

"Total breakthrough today. I'm proud of you."

"I just blurted it out. I admitted that I missed him."

"Good for you."

"I told the man I love that I missed him and it was the truth and the world is still spinning and life keeps going."

"Yes and your friend is a little freaked out."

Selina's smile left her face. "I do miss him."

"I got that."

"I've missed him since the moment I left him."

"Do you wanna grab a flight back to Gotham?"

Selina looked up at Harley as if she hadn't even registered the blonde was there until now. "No. Let's grab lunch."

"But you just said…"

"No!" Selina snapped. "I want to stay here or go wherever as long as it isn't Gotham."

"But…" Harley was so confused.

"It doesn't matter if I miss him or if he misses me or if we love each other. It's still the same."

"I don't get you. I don't even know why you two broke up."

"I wasn't important enough. He was so busy with…" she caught herself before she could blurt out the real issue, "with work and what not. I was always left behind."

"Maybe he's changed."

"No he hasn't. He never will."

"Well you don't know until you try. Besides, what do you have left to lose?"

"My dignity and pride."

"Please, we all lost our dignity a long time ago and let's face it, nothing will damage your pride. Ego the size of a planet."

Selina laughed. "Alright you, lets get some food."


Joker woke up in the same pain he went to bed with. His groin had suffered more abuse as of late than it had his whole life. He wondered if eventually it would just shrivel up die. He quickly shook off the thought and made a half assed attempt to reach the phone next to the bed. He succeeded in knocking the receiver to the floor. Joker cursed and then wiggled himself closer to the edge of the bed. He was not going to get up. He reached down to the floor and felt around for the phone. No luck. He turned his head to the side so he could get a better view. It was out of arm's reach. "Fuck me," he groaned.

He started to sit up but immediately lay back down. Joker was not a quitter. Quit was a work he refused to know. Defeat was not in his vocabulary. He would not let this phone, this hunk of plastic and wiring, beat him. He grabbed the pillow next to him and tried to fling it to the other side of the phone so he could drag it back. It worked, sort of. The phone got closer but not quite close enough to grab. He repeated this action with the same result. The phone was closer still but not quite to where he could grasp it. Joker decided this was victory enough and punched the speed dial button for room service.

"Room service," the man on the other end said cheerfully.

"Pancakes," Joker grumbled.

"I'm sorry?"

"Pancakes!" he repeated, louder now so the man could hear him.

"Very good sir, anything else?"

"Screwdriver."

"A screwdriver sir?"

"Not the tool, the beverage."

"I see. Of course sir. We will have your order to your room…"

Joker smacked the phone switch hook and rolled back over. Pancakes and alcohol. That's what he needed. He looked back at the clock. It was almost noon. He was still jetlagged from his flight over from Gotham and add to that all this excitement of chasing Harley around. "Harley," he growled. He both loved and loathed this new wild streak she had. The thrill of the hunt was new and exciting for him. He was pleased to see that she wasn't a doormat anymore but at the same time he wondered if it would ever end. Would she ever realize he meant what he was saying? And did it really matter? He couldn't picture a world without Harley in it and he knew he would die chasing her. He grimaced at the thought. What was he becoming? What kind of man chases after a woman? Certainly not Joker. No. Maybe. Had he ever chased after a woman? Well, obviously as Joker Harley was his first. She was his first everything really. His first love, his first real kiss, his first real friend. But he had a life before this. He could remember Jean…no! No he wouldn't even think her name lest every painful memory bubble up to the surface. Pushing her name and face to the side he tried to remember before her, how they met. He couldn't without letting her in and he wouldn't. Je…she belonged to Jack. Harley belonged to Joker and even thinking about his former wife made him feel dirty, like he was somehow cheating on Harley. Remembering the pathetic piss ant he had been, he gathered he would've chased after any girl that so much as glanced in his direction.

"Room service!" someone called from the other side of the door with a light knock.

"Damn," Joker groaned. How long had he been thinking? And how was he going to answer the door without getting up? "I don't suppose you could let yourself in, could you?"

"Of course sir." The hotel worker, a young man, possibly the same one who answered the phone, let himself in. He smiled politely at the ghostly man tangled up in a heap in the white sheets that matched his skin perfectly. "Where would you like it?"

"Right next to the bed. I don't see myself getting up anytime soon."

The young man did as he was told and gave a little nod after he uncovered the plat of pancakes. "Enjoy your day sir."

Joker reached for the wallet he had stolen from some sap on the plane and handed the kid a fifty. "You too."

The kid noticed right away he wasn't holding a small amount and stuffed it in his pocket quickly before the white chap noticed. He then swiftly made his exit. He didn't even care that it was American money and he'd have to exchange it.

When the door was securely shut, Joker sat up and slid the pancake platter into his lap. As he stuffed his mouth, stopping every so often to wash the food down with a swig of good ol' fashioned vodka and orange juice, he decided he would spend the day lounging in bed. He had no real lead as to where Harley could be and he needed to strategize anyway. Apparently winging it wasn't getting him anywhere.


Harley dragged Selina down the streets of London to the "most fabulous amazing little pub in all the whole wide world". It was the place she had been yesterday when she ran into the Rolling Stones. Apparently the waitress was some kind of psychic Irish wizard. Selina wondered if it really was so amazing or if Harley had somehow stumbled upon a crack platter. The place was dimly lit and murky and yet it felt homey and warn somehow and when the middle aged red headed woman behind the bar smiled, Selina felt welcomed and at ease. It was strange to say the least.

"Look who be back," the red headed woman said with an air of self satisfaction. "Knew I wouldn't be seeing the last of ya." She walked over to the table Harley and Selina claimed as their own. "Did ya enjoy yourself last night?"

"We had a blast," Harley replied. "Mary, this is Selina Kyle, Selina, Mary."

"I've heard a lot about you," Selina told her shaking her hand.

"Really? What has ya talkin' about ol' Mary then?"

"Just that you were really helpful yesterday."

"Aye, the man trouble."

"He's here. In London."

"Is he now? Still fightin' the good fight eh? I told her, I says ya can't be listenin' to what a man says. Ya gotta watch what he does. Men are all the same, spewin' out whatever little thought that just pops into their wee brains."

Selina laughed.

"But this one here she has, chasin' her all over the world. That's a man in love that is."

Harley rolled her eyes but she couldn't stop the light pink color flushing over her cheeks or the smile spreading across her mouth.

"Awe there it is, the look of love. Can't be hidin' it from ol' Mary. What can I be getting' ya girls to drink?"

"Diet coke," Harley mumbled.

"Same," Selina agreed.

"Be back in a moment."

"I like her," Selina decided aloud.

"I told you you would."

"She reminds me of Ivy in a way."

"It's the no nonsense attitude."

Selina nodded.

"You just sneak in and don't even say hello to me? Bloody Americans. So rude," David called from the bar as he walked out of the kitchen.

"You weren't out here!" Harley argued.

"I'll let it slide this time. Who's your friend then?"

"Selina Kyle, meet David, bartender and Mary's husband."

"For the time bein' anyway," Mary joked as she rejoined the table, drinks in hand.

"I'll remember that the next time some bobble catches your eye in the shop," David shot back.

"Ya haven't bought'n me a thing in years ya duffer."

"I bought ya them earrings last week."

"I bought these myself."

"With the money I provide."

"Ah!" Mary grunted waving him off. "Men, give ya the shirt off their back they will but they won't let ya forget it."

"Amen," Selina agreed.

"So, what's your lot then?"

"I'm sorry?"

"A body like that I'm guessin' you're no stranger to the opposite sex."

"She misses her ex," Harley jumped in, ready and willing to shift the focus off herself.

"Oh really?"

"She told him today and he misses her as well."

"Harley!" Selina cried.

"Oh don't be shy. As I be tellin' her yesterday, where I come from a pub is your family. Not the hole ya drink yourself stupid in. I'm guessin' this man of yours ain't as easy as I love ya and that's that."

"No. He's very complicated."

Mary nodded.

"He works, around the clock. And that's what comes first. Well, no, actually he's managed to let his kids come first, adoptive kids. Well, not really kids. A teenager and an adult, who just got engaged."

"Dick's engaged?" Harley chimed in.

"Yeah. Anyway, they come first which is great. But his work is right behind that and it takes every minute he doesn't devote to his family. At first he let his work life slide but as we got closer he dived back into it and…I don't know. I don't even know why I'm telling my life story to a complete stranger," she laughed.

"As it is with all great love stories deary, it ain't easy. But isn't that why it's worth it? Who wants everythin' to be white picket fences and perfect? Conflict, the chase, the tears, that's what makes it all worth while. That's what makes the happy endin' so much more satisfyin'."

Selina nodded.

"If ya love him, tell him. What do you have to lose?"

"That's what I side!" Harley piped up.

"And you need to be tellin' your own man ya love him. Ya both want to make it so much more complicated than it is. Ya have to work through the bad times, not give up durin' them. For better or worse, it ain't just be somethin' ya say at the alter." Mary fixed them both with a look that said she meant business. "Now, I'm bringin' ya both the special and after ya eat it I want you," she said pointing at Selina "to tell that man of yours that ya do love him and you", now she pointed at Harley, "to do the same and Bob's your uncle." Mary walked back over to the bar.

"Bob is my uncle," Harley sighed.

"I don't know what that means."

"Me neither."

They smiled at each other for a minute and then Selina said "She's right you know?"

"I know."

"Are you going to find Joker and call a truce?"

"Nope. You calling Bruce?"

"I can't. Not yet."

"And Bob's your uncle," Harley sighed.

"Who is this Bob?"


The special ended up being some sort of stew. Neither Selina nor Harley could name the contents of their lunch but they knew it was delicious. The pub was mostly empty, minus a couple men seated at the bar, so Mary spent most of her time chatting with the two ladies about their travels so far and their home.

"And then I left him handcuffed to the bed!" Harley squealed with laughter.

Mary slapped the table as she held her gut to keep it from bursting. Her sides ached from not having laughed so hard in a good long while.

"Yet he still wants me back."

"That just proves the poor idiot loves ya."

"Right?" Selina teased.

"Perhaps."

"Look what the cat dragged in," David joked pointing to the door.

At first Harley thought she was a kid but upon further inspection she realized it was a teenager, sixteen seventeen maybe. Her black hair was cut shorter, back not touching her shoulders but longer than the front, and her bangs were swept over to the side to keep them out of her face. When she stood next to David, Harley could see the resemblance. The same dark chocolate eyes and nose. But her face shape, cheekbones, and slightly red lips were her mother's. She was thin in the waist with slightly wider hips and full bust. Clearly the figure her mother had as a girl. She wasn't muscular but certainly toned, probably from school activities and running about with friends.

"Dad," the girl muttered pouring herself a soda from the tap.

"Come here," Mary said beckoning the girl with her finger.

The girl rolled her eyes and trudged over to the table.

"I want ya to meet some people," Mary explained seeing the less than interested look on her daughter's face. "This is my daughter, Amara."

"Holy…" Amara started staring at the two ladies.

"Holy what Batman?" Harley joked.

"You are them aren't you?"

"Define them," Selina replied.

"I read about you all the time! I get the Tipster updates on my phone!"

Selina and Harley exchanged a smile. It was weird being recognized without being shot at or treated with mass hysteria.

"That them," Selina sighed.

"What are ya prattlin' on about girl?" Mary asked.

"Mum, that's Harley Quinn and Selina Kyle from Gotham City."

"Aye I know there names. What's so special bout them then?"

"Mary, I'm afraid we're not exactly good citizens of Gotham City on vacation. Harley and I are quite notorious, in the Gotham underworld."

"We're super criminals," Harley finished explaining.

"What?"

"That's Catwoman and she's the Joker's girlfriend!" Amara squealed with excitement.

"You mean…you…"

Harley and Selina gave a nod.

"What's Poison Ivy like?" Amara asked.

"Kind of like your mom," Harley answered.

"Did you hear that Talia is redecorating Lex's penthouse?"

"Left my phone at the hotel so I missed that update," Selina told her.

"Want to see the pictures? All the furniture is really tacky."


When Mary shook off the shock she promptly escorted Harley and Selina out the door. They didn't blame her. They wouldn't want to find out their child idolized high profile criminals either. Once back at the hotel, Selina claimed the bathroom and started herself a bath. Harley plopped down onto the main room sofa and flipped on the TV. She was banned from leaving the room solo.

Harley pulled her phone out of her purse and turned it over in her hands. Even though their friendship with Mary had ended on less than favorable terms, the wise Irish woman's words still rang in her head. At this point, it was more than evident Joker not only loved her, but he wasn't giving up either. What was stopping her from falling back into his arms? As she pondered this, she almost missed the knocking on the door. "Someone gently wrapping, wrapping at my chamber door. Tis the wind and nothing more," she recited, sure she was somehow misquoting Edgar Allen Poe and not really caring. What she expected to find and who was really knocking were two different beasts entirely.

Ready to tell the Joker off, Harley opened the door, hand on her hip with an annoyed look on her face which quickly faltered when she realized there was no one towering above her but instead was standing at eyelevel with her.

Amara's smile was wider than her face and her hand was frantically waving. "Hello!"

"Hello?" Harley questioned.

"I'm sorry about my mum. She just doesn't get it." Amara walked into the suite and made herself right at home on the couch. "This is nice."

"Thank you. Um, what are you doing?"

"I wanted to talk to you guys."

Harley grasped for something to say. She was sure the girl shouldn't be in their hotel room but she wasn't really sure why. "Amara," she started not really sure what words were going to come next.

"Don't kick me out," the teenager begged. "It's not everyday you meet a celebrity."

"I wouldn't call me a celebrity per say."

"You know what I mean. The Gotham Rogues are the most popular topic in all the world. You're always trending on Twitter."

"What the hell is Twitter?"

"Social network site."

"Social…whatever. I don't think your mom would be happy if she knew you were here."

"She isn't happy with anything I do."

"That sounds familiar."

"Your mum a pain too?"

"Yeah." Harley took a seat on the couch next to the girl.

"Do you see her?"

"No. Not since I went to dinner with her when I was engaged."

"I remember that."

Harley snickered. "Of course you do."

"I remember everything you do. You're my favorite."

"Why's that?"

"I don't know. I just like you."

"Well thank you."

"I dream all about moving to Gotham."

"It's a nice place, sometimes."

"I want to have dinner at the Iceberg Lounge and watch Holly give the business to whoever irks her."

Harley opened her mouth to respond when she heard Selina getting out of the tub. "We have to go."

"Why?"

"Look, I know you shouldn't be here but I don't see you leaving on your own anytime soon but what I do see is Selina coming out here and giving me the business. Let's get a coffee."

"Together?"

"Yes."

"Alright!"


Since Harley was less than familiar with the city, she let Amara direct her to a little café not too far from the hotel. As she sat at a table on the patio waiting for the young girl to bring back coffee, she contemplated her next move. Harley had no idea what to say to a teenage girl who clearly in awe of her lifestyle and if she were anything like her at sixteen, words wouldn't matter. She remembered when her mother found out she was dating the twenty two year old who worked at the gas station around the corner. Her mother's protests washed over her and made Harley all the more enamored with the gas station attendant who still lived in his mother's house. Eventually her mother gave up the fight and shortly there after, Harley gave up the loser. She shook her head and smiled at the thought of how she had once thought that loser to be so cool. The last time she had seen that moron was right before she started college, he was still at the same gas station, still living with his mother. The only thing that had changed was now he had a gut and his was looking thinner.

Amara bounded up to the table, two cups in hand, and excitedly handed one off to Harley.

"Thank you," the blonde said happy to have the warm nectar of the gods in her hand.

"You're welcome," the young girl beamed proudly.

Harley pulled out her wallet to hand the girl some money but Amara quickly refused it. Not one to argue, not about money anyway, Harley put it away. "So…"

"I can't believe I'm really sitting here with you!"

"Amara, you do realize I'm not an actress or a celebrity don't you? I'm a real person. And not even a good person, I'm a criminal. I've cheated, stolen, killed." Harley muttered the last word and tried to shake off the memories that went with it.

"Yeah but…"

"But nothing, that's who I am."

"But you're also sweet, kind, and funny. You're a good friend to everyone…"

"Everyone who has had a stay in the asylum. I have to be, those are the only people that put up with me."

"Bruce Wayne likes you."

"No Bruce Wayne loves Selina and for some reason he tolerates her crazy circle of friends."

Amara sighed and sank down into her chair.

"The Tipster reports all the funny and dramatic moments in our lives but what she doesn't tell you, is the horrific parts. Sure it's funny to see Joker walking down the street in his pj's getting Chinese but what isn't funny is the dead Chinese woman behind the counter at the Golden Duck, all because he forgot his wallet."

"Then why do you love him?"

"A question I myself have been pondering for awhile," she admitted sadly.

"If he's a bad person, you shouldn't love him."

"If only it were that simple."

"It is. I mean it can be. Just love someone else."

"Do you think people just choose someone to…" But Harley never finished her thought. Amara's mouth overtook hers and for a second she let it happen until reality set in and being unsure of the statutory laws in England, she pushed the girl back. "Yeah okay that was out of left field."

"You're wonderful."

Harley's phone began to go off in her purse and she quickly rummaged for it knowing full well that it probably wouldn't be a pleasant conversation.

"You deserve better!"

"Hello," Harley gasped.

"Where are you?" Selina asked.

"I think I love you," Amara admitted.

"I am in the most uncomfortable moment of my life," Harley replied.

"What?"

"Harley," Amara breathed.

"Kittie, I have to call you back." Harley shoved the phone back in her purse and grabbed the teenage girl by the shoulders. "You're sixteen and I'm a criminal. It will never work."

"I can go back to Gotham with you!" Amara protested. "And I'm really mature for my age!"

"I do not doubt that in the slightest and while I think you are a really great kid, you are just that, a kid."

"Joker is much older than you."

"Yes and I have a list of daddy and abandonment issues that make that relationship work."

"I know it won't be easy but…"

Harley's phone beeped away in her purse letting her know she had a new text message. She groaned and snatched it up. What else could happen?

"I have a new Tipster update!" Amara squealed. "I'm on the Tipster page! Look!"

Harley was looking at the picture herself on her own phone. There she was, being smooched by the naïve girl with text that read "Harley Quinn kissed a girl…did she like it?"

"How cool is this?"

Phone calls were fighting to get through on Harley's phone. Selina was the first followed by Joker, Ivy, Oswald, Harvey, and Eddie. Harley hit the silence button and banged her head against the table.


Selina was packed and ready when Harley stumbled into the hotel room. "Really?" Selina huffed.

"I would like to say I did not make the first move."

"I said don't leave the room. Why would you go meet her?"

"I didn't! She showed up here and…"

"And nothing. I don't want to be here when her mother breaks down that door. Two tickets on a flight to Madrid. I phoned a friend and we have a little villa just outside the city."

"Madrid?"

"Yes."

"Why not just go home…"

"Get your bags and let's go!"