Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do own a miniature version of an Asian tea garden though. It is flipping sweet! :)
A.N I hate when people think Emmett is dumb, it is incredibly annoying to me. I love Em! :)
Ch.12 Loving Yourself
EMPOV
I woke up feeling great. Yes I had drank the most last night but I still felt great. Since I had turned 21 I had begun to notice that it took quite a bit of alcohol to get me drunk. Which is good because really I am a bit obnoxious as is, I can only imagine.
I got out of bed and hopped in the shower. Man Rose had looked super hot last night. I swear, her legs go for days.
I jumped out of the shower and began doing push ups and sit ups. I had learned that doing a bit of exercise out of the shower does a lot of work. Plus you can't do it in the bathroom because you have to keep good balance other wise you hit the floor and get knocked out cold, then your brother comes in the bathroom to piss and calls the paramedics while you are lying there naked.
Not a good way to start the day, believe me.
I finished and started brushing my teeth. I began humming Britney's Toxic. That song is so damn catchy.
I walked over to my dresser and pulled on a muscle tee and a pair of jeans. I looked in the mirror to make sure my curly hair was in place. I put some Hair Hemp I had bought in it to try and keep it from fucking around. Sometimes it sucks having curly hair because it fros out. So annoying. (A.N this is me in the morning seriously. I have crazy curly hair and all I have to say is if your hair is straight appreciate it please.)
I went to my bedside table and called Alice.
"Hello" she sounded groggy, interesting.
"Alice! What are the plans for today chickadee?"
"Ugh Emmett it is seven in the morning go to sleep."
Grr, sometimes the pixie is so boring.
I hung up the phone and opened the drawer, pulling out my book.
I read the cover.
Jane Eyre
Charlotte Brontë
I sighed in my happiness. Thanks to the imbeciles running the press I was portrayed as an idiot and playboy. Please. I had read Jane Eyre more times then I could count.
I had memorized most of it and when I answered my phone I read aloud instead of saying hello.
"Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity, or registering wrongs."
"Emmett why are you singing Jane Eyre?" Edward answered with a laugh.
"Shut up I was not singing."
"It sounded sing song-y to me."
"I hate you."
"Now Emmett use your words. I'm coming to room right now and I wanted to make sure you were decent."
"Yes I am, oh except for the dead hooker in the corner, she was here when I got the room yesterday."
"Did you touch her?"
"No, I poked her with a stick to make sure she was dead though. You know the cleaning crew really should be ashamed."
"I know what you mean, I found a Twinkie wrapper in my room."
"Oh the audacity. Dead hookers and Twinkie wrappers, ridiculous. Edward I have to go."
"But I am coming over now."
"Fine but to quote Jane, "I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will, which I now exert to leave you."
"Nice job."
I hung up and flipped on my stomach engrossed in Jane's strength, what a turn on.
I got up when I heard the knock.
I bowed to Edward and he rolled his eyes.
He sat on my bed and I looked at him.
"To sit on my bed you must kiss me."
"Emmett I am not gay, would you stop that. You know the rest of the world thinks I am a man whore."
"Doesn't matter I know the truth."
"Emmett are you insane."
"Psychologically? Perhaps but I am not insane in the belief that you have homosexual tendencies and I love you anyway. Now make my dreams come true lover boy."
"You are a freak. Not only am I straight, and possibly in Like with someone but you are also my brother, that is incest my dear fellow."
"OOo you are in like with someone are you. I bet it is Bella." I had known for a while that Edward had feelings for her and who could blame him. She was wonderful. I loved to tease her and see her blush and then that Irish-like anger came out and she was red and screaming. Hilarious.
"Nuh un" Edward said as he stuck out his tongue.
"Mature Eddie. OOo Eddie likes Bella, Eddie likes Bella, Eddie and Bella sitting in a tree k-i-ss-i-n-g
First come like then comes love then comes crazy humping glove." shit I couldn't think of anything that rhymes with love.
"Humping glove?"
"Yes silly virgin. Humping Glove it is... a condom." Nice one Emmett, it even makes scenes.
"Fuck you Emmett." He stood from the bed and walked to the door.
"There you go making promises again." I said before he slammed the door.
Silly Edward.
I wonder how Bella feels?
BPOV
Oh. Shit. I am dying.
My head is going to come off my body and explode. At least that's what I was hoping for.
Ugh.
I looked at the alarm clock beside my bed. It flashed 10 at me. OK good I hadn't slept the day away and my head was going to pound off my neck soon so that was something to look forward to.
I got up and headed to take a shower. I turned the light on and instantly regretted it.
"Ow" I said out loud.
I turned on the water and the sound of the drops hitting the tile reverberated in my ears.
"Ow."
I went in and let the water wash away the drunk smell. Eww this is so disgusting. I am never drinking schnapps again. It tasted gross and it made me feel like shit, no a mushroom growing in shit.
I turned of the water after washing my hair and walked to the mirror.
oh. dear. God. Why do I look like the ugly fairy came and kissed me on both cheeks last night?
I chuckled at myself and then regretted it. My ears started ringing. I need aspirin.
I walked into my room and put on my favorite jeans that I had sown a triangle of fabric to make them bell bottoms and my Give hugs not bullet holes t-shirt.
Then I heard a knock on my door, no not knock a pounding. Who the fuck is bugging me?
I opened the door and saw Emmett holding a danish, cup of coffee, and a bag.
I tried to smile but it hurt, "Hey Em" I whispered.
"HELLO BELLA DEAR IT WOULD APPEAR THAT YOU HAVE A HANGOVER MAY I COME IN?" He boomed.
I covered my ears and stepped aside.
He laughed loudly and walked in.
"Emmett please if you value my head whisper."
He smiled and whispered, "OK only if you blush."
I did. Idiot blood filled cheeks.
I smiled at him and asked, "Is that for me?"
"yes both of them are. And so is what is in this here bag." He waved the bag in my face.
I peeked in and saw the most glorious thing ever.
"Aspirin?" I felt teary eyed.
He laughed quietly, "You act like I proposed to you."
I flung myself at him and kissed his cheek, "You are the best Em."
"I know" he chuckled.
"So when do I get the thank you sex?" he grinned at me as I put the aspirin in my mouth and took a swig of my coffee.
I started to choke.
"Kidding Bella." he laughed as he pounded my back.
Emmett got off the bed, and started walking around the room. He opened my bag,
"No Emmett NO!" I screamed.
He looked in it. And started laughing hysterically.
"Hello Edward." he laughed.
Oh. NO.
I buried my face in the pillows.
"Bella, Bella masturbation is perfectly natural, I myself masturbate at least ten times a day."
"Emmett shut up."
"I mean there is nothing more natural then making yourself feel good."
"Emmett. Shut. Up."
"Plus every time you masturbate, you are having sex with someone you love."
"EMMETT! SHUT! UP!!"
He laughed at me.
That Darn Emmett! That Darn Emmett! That Darn Emmett! That Darn Emmett! That Darn Emmett!
EPOV
I looked around my room and sat thinking. I wonder what Bella's doing.
Probably sleeping off her major hangover, ha ha.
I smiled thinking about her sleeping, me sleeping beside her, moving her hair from her face as she smiled in her sleep.
I sighed. Wait did I just sigh? I am a man. A big strong man. I did a Tim Allen impersonation and beat my chest a little.
Yeah, I am a man.
.
..
...
I wonder what Bella's doing.
That's it we are semi-friends now and I think she likes me if what she said last night while she was liquored up is true.
I got up and decided to go to her room.
As I stepped over to Bella's door and her scream Emmett's name.
If that mother fucker is molesting Bella, I will rip his head off and burn the remains and claim insanity.
I knocked and Bella shouted at Emmett and I heard him laughing. The door unlocked and there stood a very flustered Bella. Her beautiful cheeks were a deep scarlet and I could see the anger in her eyes.
Good Emmett's in trouble.
I smiled at her and was about to say something when she yelled towards the room, "What is it with you Cullen men and bothering me?! Can't I have five fucking minutes alone?!"
I put my hands up in the universal sign for surrender.
She groaned and stepped aside.
I heard her mumbling something about invasion of privacy.
I looked at Emmett and he had his behind his back.
"Hello Edward," he said with obvious humor in his tone. Why was he stressing my name?
"Emmett."
I looked at Bella and she was blushing furiously.
What did I miss?
A.N What's going on my lovely ladies and gentlemen? Soo, I have a poll up on my profile on where you guys want them to go next, Vote or Die or Live your vote whatever they are saying now a days lol. Also thanks for the awesome reviews last chapter! As previously stated I love horny women now lol. Alright lovelies, Review, Review REVIEW! :) Also I'm not sure if I have a Beta yet lol, but this part has been done for a while so I decided to post it.
Love
xoxoTeamEdwardxoxo
