Chapter 11: Singing
I sighed as I ran my fingers through my hair, today, I was performing as a fill in for another singer, she was ill and she had to leave so I had to pick 4 songs to sing. Obviously, everyone was going to be there, even Naru, Lin and Madoka. I stood and walked to door when it knocked, I opened it to see my agent, "They are ready for you," she said and I nodded and followed her.
People ran about, with earpieces and clipboards and big headphones and I tried not to laugh, it was just to funny. Once we got to back stage I was handed a mic. "Get ready, they are just about to call you on." I stood by the curtains and the cheers of loads of people hit me, maybe there where, about, three hundred people in this place, it was only a small concert, but it was big for me.
"...and because she fell ill we found another singer, she is just as amazing, but, she Japanese, but, she can sing amazingly in English, she is going to be releasing songs over her for the next three months, I want you all to scream and shout for Mai Takigawa," I walked out onto stage as people cheered, I grinned, "Okay, hi everyone, lets get this started." people shouted and screamed and the music began to play.
Mai.
Oh, Oh, Oh,
No matter what you say about love,
I keep coming back for more,
keep my hand in the fire,
sooner or later,
I get what im asking for.
I spun round and walked down the stairs and smiled around, dancers next to me, and the band behind me. Screams and shouted filled my ears and the song played on.
No matter what you say about life,
I learn every time that I bleed,
that truth is a strange,
soul is in danger,
I got to let my spirit be free.
I stepped down to runway bending down to touch peoples hands and twirling with the dancers.
To admit that I'm wrong,
and change my mind,
sorry, but I have to move on,
and leave you behind,
I can't waste time so give me the moment,
I realise, nothing broken.
Don't need to worry about,
everything I've done,
live every second like it is my last one,
don't look back got a new direction,
loved you once,
needed protection,
your still a part of everything I do,
your on my heart,
just like a tattoo,
just like a tattoo,
ill always have you,
ill always have you.
I walked back up to the main stage and sat down on a chair the gave me, I found Ayako and the others before looking at Naru, and then spinning round.
I'm sick of playing all of there games,
its not about taking time,
when I looked in the mirror,
didn't deliver,
I hurt to think that I could,
admit that I was wrong, and then
change my mind,
sorry but, I got to be strong and leave,
you behind.
I then walked up and down the big stage looking around the stage, over to Ayako and the others again, I high-fived them all but didn't dare to look at Naru before spinning round and walking off.
I can't waste time so give me the moment,
I realise, nothing broken.
Don't need to worry about,
everything I've done,
live every second like it is my last one,
don't look back got a new direction,
loved you once,
needed protection,
your still a part of everything I do,
your on my heart,
just like a tattoo,
just like a tattoo,
ill always have you,
ill always have you.
I stopped in the middle and looked out towards the back my arm reaching out, before I pulled in back it, then out, then in.
If I live every moment,
won't change any of them,
still a part of me and you,
I will never regret you,
still, the memory of you,
marks everything I do,
oh,
I stood up and walked down the run way, the dancers behind me, I was walking to the beat of the music while people clapped along with the dancers.
I can't waste time so give me the moment,
I realise, nothing broken.
Don't need to worry about,
everything I've done,
live every second like it is my last one,
don't look back got a new direction,
loved you once,
needed protection,
your still a part of everything I do,
your on my heart,
just like a tattoo,
I can't waste time so give me the moment,
I realise, nothing broken.
Don't need to worry about,
everything I've done,
live every second like it is my last one,
don't look back got a new direction,
loved you once,
needed protection,
your still a part of everything I do,
your on my heart,
just like a tattoo,
just like a tattoo,
ill always have you,
ill always have you.
People cheered and I bowed, "Thank you everyone, now, my next song, this song is Haunted"
You and I walk a fragile line.
I have known it all this time,
but I never thought,
I would live to see it break.
Its getting dark and its,
all to quite,
and I can't trust anything now,
and its coming over you like its,
all a big mistake,
I looked down at Naru and he glared at me. He knew these songs where about him and I wanted him to see it, but, this one, was a little bit different. I smiled at him, falsely and then looked out towards the crowd.
oh, holding my breath,
won't lose you again,
some things made your eyes go cold,
I thought about why I sang these songs, and why I wrote them. These where all my feelings written down for me to express them. These where for Naru. These where his songs. Why? I don't know. I glanced down at him briefly again and the sighed mentally. I couldn't wait to leave, I had gotten over him immensely.
come on, come on,
don't leave me like this,
I thought I had you figured out,
some things gone terribly wrong,
your all I wanted,
come on, come on,
don't leave me like this,
I thought I had you figured out,
can't breathe when ever your gone,
can't turn back now,
im haunted.
I mean I had dated a few boys, but, they were never for me. They were never my type and in the end, I dumped them. I mean, we had out memories and they where kind and nice, but I couldn't help but think they are not for me and then I dumped them and my thoughts went right back to Naru.
I mean, he left so why couldn't he just leave me alone, I mean, like in my thoughts he was always there and for some reason always will be. I hated it. But, I couldn't help but not hate him.
I stood there and watched you,
walk away,
from everything we had,
but I still mean every word,
I said, too you,
he will try and take away my pain,
and he just might make me smile,
but the whole time,
I was wishing it was you,
instead,
He is in my thoughts always, and I mean, always. Why? I don't love him any more, I have grown up and soon as they gave me this contract I was going to be brave and strong and show him that I won't rely on any one and that I had grown.
oh, holding my breath,
won't see you again,
something keeps me,
holding on to nothing,
I walked down the run way passed him to sing out to the crowd. I have to forget about him, I knew I did. It was what I had done for the passed three years and its what I was going to do now.
come on, come on,
don't leave me like this,
I thought I had you figured out,
some things gone terribly wrong,
your all I wanted,
come on, come on,
don't leave me like this,
I thought I had you figured out,
can't breathe when ever your gone,
can't turn back now,
im haunted.
I glanced down at them again to see Naru looked down at the table. 'Serves him right'. I thought, this song will show you. I know you left that day and I didn't confess to you, only reason being that you would push me away like this anyway. I was going to be hard and I made sure it wasn't hard for me. I was smart, you just didn't see it.
I know,
I know, oh,
I just know,
your not gone,
you can't be gone,
come on, come on,
don't leave me like this,
I thought I had you figured out,
some things gone terribly wrong,
won't finish what you started.
I stood at the end of the runway and I glanced back at him, to find him not there. I sighed and then turnt back around and looked at the crowd. My dancer stood beside me looking that way as well, and then I looked the other way with them and then we turnt around and walked back up.
come on, come on,
don't leave me like this,
I thought I had you figured out,
can't breathe when ever your gone,
can't go back now,
im haunted.
Oh, oh, oh, ohhh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
you and I walk a fragile line,
I have known it all this time,
but I never thought,
I would see it break,
never thought I see it.
The crowd roared again and I giggled slightly. People standing out there seats and people shouting my name. I never, thought I would be this good, I thought because I was Japanese that it wouldn't be like this. I grinned. "This next song I am going to sing is from my childhood favourite film, Beauty and the Beast? Yes, that song, its called Beauty and the Beast."
Tale as old as time,
true as it can be,
barely even friends,
then somebody bends,
unexpectedly,
Just a little change,
small to say the least,
oh a little scared,
me the one prepared,
Beauty and the Beast.
I sang as I sat down, like I was retelling the story. People awed when I had first started and I glanced at Naru and saw the he was back and was looking straight at me, but this time, his eyes looked different. They looked, softer.
Ever just the same,
ever, a surprise,
ever as before,
ever just that sure,
as the sun will rise,
certain, as the sun,
rising in the east,
tale as old as time,
song as old as rhyme,
Beauty and the Beast.
Beauty and the Beast.
I stood and slowly walked down the stairs into the crowd, walking around people. Smiling as I sang and as the body guards followed me.
Beauty and the Beast.
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Ever just the same,
ever, a surprise,
ever a surprise...
ever as before,
ever just that sure,
as the sun will rise,
tale as old as time,
tale as old as time,
oh, yeah,
as this beat is strange,
finding you can change,
learning you where mine,
As I sang that I looked over at Naru. I immediately look back around, what had compelled me to look over at him. Was he mine, no, of course not, so why did I look over at him?
Certain as the sun,
rising in the east,
tale as old as time,
song as old as rhyme,
Beauty and the Beast,
tale as old as time,
song as old as rhyme,
Beauty and the Beast,
tale as old as time,
song as old as rhyme,
Beauty and the Beast...
I sang once again and the crowd screamed and that while I stood at the back at the room. People around me congratulated me and I made my way back to the stage. People thanking me, complementing me and smiling, then I walked passed our table for them to do the same, but Naru just stared at me, and it as the stare of, 'We need to talk' I shook my head and head up the stairs.
"This next song is a huge song, it has so much emotion and this song is the main one on my new album and the title, and the song i am going to be releasing Monday, Fix a Heart."
Its probably what best for you,
I only want the best for you,
and if im not the best then,
your stuck,
I tried to sever ties and I,
ended up with wounds to bind,
like your pouring salt in my cuts,
It truly was like Naru was pouring salt in my cuts, rubbing it in. I hated it, hated it. Then, the others were rubbing it in as well, but, they didn't know they where. Here I was single, heart broken, well, I was, and they were all lovey dovey. It was annoying and it hurt.
and I just ran out,
of bandages,
I don't even know where to start,
cause you can, bandage the damage,
but you never really can fix a heart.
I had tried all these years to bandages the damage and fix what was broken but I couldn't. I could never fix my heart and that was what the song was about, me not being able to fix my heart. It was that hard. It hurt, a lot.
Even though I know its wrong,
how could I be so sure,
if you never say what you feel, feel,
I must of held your hand so tight,
you didn't have the will to fight,
I guess you needed more time to heal.
I guess Naru did need more time to heal and grieve over Gene, but, I gave him lots of help and I was there for him, but, he didn't even know it.
Baby, I just ran out,
of bandages,
I don't even know where to start,
cause you can bandage the damage,
you never really can fix a heart,
Oh,oh,oooooooh,
oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh, yeah,
Oh,oh,oooooooh,
oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh, yeah,
You must, be a,
miracle worker,
swearing up and down,
you can fix what been broken, yeah,
please don't, get my,
hopes up, no no,
baby just tell me,
how you could be so cruel,
like your pouring salt on my cuts.
Baby, I just ran out,
of bandages,
I don't even know where to start,
cause you can bandage the damage,
you never really can fix a heart,
Baby, I just ran out,
of bandages,
I don't even know where to start,
cause you can bandage the damage,
you never really can fix a heart,
oh, no no,
you never really can fix a heart,
oh, no no,
you never really can fix a heart,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
you never really can fix my heart,
As the song finished I stood on the stage, tears, real flowing from my eyes, my hand on my heart and a sad smile on my face. Everyone was quiet until they all suddenly cheered and I gave a small happy smile. 'Maybe it isn't so bad after all.'
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Peace out: DemonHairedandBlueEyed.
