Freshman and Sophomore
By S.M. Scott
A/N: I do not own the Outsiders.
Chapter Twelve
Love is also Suffering Pt.1
Dad and Helen are going out for a romantic dinner tonight and to spend some time together, just the two of them. Janie is gone out with Louis, Grandma's gone to play bingo, and I'm going to be left at home. Not alone, as I would have liked, but I'm stuck with Allison. I get to be the babysitter, once again. This is totally not fair! I'm fifteen and Helen and Dad both treat me like a baby, they won't let me go on a date yet at all. I felt like screaming, "For God's sake, I am a woman!" But I knew it wouldn't help matters.
As soon as I said "Have a good time," to Helen, who was dressed very beautifully, and Dad, who was also dressed nice, and they went to their car (Dad may be rich, but he can still drive) Allison smiled as though she was a liitle angel and said, "let's go to my room, and let's play Barbie!"
"Yeah, I really don't think so. I blow Barbies up, I mutilate them. I throw them on the barbecue. I'm fifteen years old, Allison. I may not be as mature as Helen and Dad expect me to be, but I am maturer than you. So, no thanks." I told Allison, meaning everything I said.
Allison continued to smile broader. "If you don't come up to my bedroom and play Barbie, I'll just tell mom and dad that you were neglecting me, and they'll start hiring a real babysitter or depending on Janie, because they wouldn't believe or trust you." I knew she had me, so, fuming on the inside, I followed Allison up the stairs into her ridiculously fluffy, pink bedroom.
Allison then took all of her favorite Barbie Dolls out of the toybox for herself and threw the ugly, screwed-up looking old ones at me to play with. "There you go. You can even pretend they are those greaser boys you hang around if you want. It's the closest you'll ever get to going out with any boy."
I kept going over the same calming sentence in my head. I'm not going to break something, I'm not going to break something, I'm not going to break something. Allison was like, "You're not upset, I hope. here, have a tissue to cry in." She handed me the pink kleenex box, but I said calmly, hitting a lightbulb, "No thanks, Allison. I have an even better idea."
Allison snorted. "Since when are your ideas ever good?" She demanded. Undettered, I continued on with my plan. "Since you really hate to be baby-sat by me..."
"I hate it more than calves liver and onions." Allison said. "Well, how would you feel, if I left you at Tiffany Housten's. You can play Barbie with her little sister Caroline." Allison's eyes got all wide with excitement over this good news. "You're really going to leave me to play at Carrie's house? Of course I'm going!" Wow, that part was easier than I thought. Allison was in good hands at the Houstens. It's not like I left her at the side of a highway.
More difficult was going to be explaining this turn of events to Mr. and Mrs. Housten. But I had to try, every hour of freedom to be left to my own devices would be worth it. Even if Helen and Dad found out and I was grounded until who knows...next Christmas. I was hoping they wouldn't find out at the same time, because I was still dying to go to the Maritimes in Canada next week.
Soon as we arrived at Tiffany's, I rang the doorbell and Tiffany answered. "Tania, what are you doing here? Why did you bring Allison, I thought you couldn't stand her?"
"Well, since Helen and Dad are out and Grandma's gone to play bingo, and Grandpa is keeping to himself, we just thought that Caroline would like to see Allison and they can play Barbies or something, while you keep an eye on her. I've got something I need to do! Thanks a million, Tiffany, I'll see you later!" Then, I hurried on my way, even though Tiffany was yelling, "Tania, wait! If you're supposed to be babysitting you can't just leave Allison at this house, Mom and Dad aren't even home!"
But I was already walking quickly back into my house, ignoring Stefan's question of, "Miss Tania, where did you leave Miss Allison?" And I hurried to the kitchens and was like, "Jacques-Claude!" Jacques-Claude almost jumped two feet but banged his head on one of the many cupboards. "Sacre Bleu! You 'ave almost given me 'eart failure!"
"I am sorry about that," I told the French chef apologetically. "Oh, nevair mind." Jacques-Claude rubbed his head a little. "What must I cook for you, Madame Tania?" So I gave him a list of things which I liked and also things that Ponyboy liked (without mentioning Ponyboy), salad, entrees and dessert. "Do you think you can manage it?" I asked Jacques-Claude.
"I should certainly 'ope so. I did not study at ze finest culinary institutions in Europe and toil in many four and five star restauraunts for nothing, but for passion. But ah, isn't two servings of everything a leetle too much for one teenage girl?" Oh, shoot. I was afraid Jacques-Claude would ask. "Oh, some of it isn't mine. I've invited a friend over." I lied brutally.
Jacques-Claude didn't look quite as though he believed me, either. But he said only this, "The three-course meals will be finished in 50 minutes." Shaking his head, he went to wash his hands while I raced upstairs. I went into my bedroom and tried to find something to wear for such an evening. I could decide on nothing, until I found a semi- kimono housedress. I had decided I would put that aside to be worn much later. I showered, exfoliated, changed, everything a woman needs to do at such times and pinned up my hair instead of leaving it down.
When I returned to the kitchen 50 minutes later. I found all of the food being added to each plate and what was hot was covered. "Thank you, Jacques-Claude." I said to the hired chef, who was probably laughing to Mario and Helga, "Zat Miss Lightstone thinks she is going to eat a prepared dinner with a young man and something more will happen like a romantic novel. She still 'as a lot to learn." But at present, I was more concerned with answering the door before Stefan did.
"Stefan, do not answer that door, I will!" I opened the door and there stood Ponyboy. "Hi, Ponyboy!" I said. "Please come in. Jacques-Claude has been working very hard on dinner. I wish that I could cook just as well." As soon as Ponyboy walked inside, he was looking all around him with amazement at all the luxuries that made the entryway alone. Then, he took a look at the winding staircase, the grand living room, the even grander pool room where Dad and his gentlefriends played sometimes, and the marble fireplace which we only used in colder weather.
"This is one tuff place you live in. I know Soda and the guys would flip if they could see all of this. Whoa, big cigars, man." I think Ponyboy actually thought of trying to smoke one to see what it was like, but I was laughing, "You fool, put that thing down. It's bad enough that you smoke cigarettes and it's not yours, it's my Dad's. Besides, dinner's going to be put on the table and it's going to get cold. Let's go eat, there's a lot of your favorites."
So, there we were, eating at the smaller table in the glassy back patio room looking out on the swimming pool. "Would you like some parmesan on your spaghetti, Ponyboy?" I had asked him. "Okay," Ponyboy said, and Mario was about to see to it but I stood up and said, "I'll do it myself, Mario. T-thank you."
Unfortunately, I was getting quite nervous about my Dad and Helen walking in at any time Ponyboy was still around and discovering my deception toward them, but even worse, I was afraid Ponyboy could tell that my Dad and Helen weren't even home like I told him yesterday they would be.
"Tania, Tania, whoa, whoa, you can stop now!" Ponyboy cried, eyes wide. There was now such a disgusting amount of parmesan cheese on Ponyboy's pasta you could barely see the sauce anymore. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I honestly don't know what I was doing." I told Ponyboy apologetically. I didn't even know if I could really sit through any dessert, even though I normally couldn't say no to chocolate brownies. I just gulped my lemonade down. All I could think was, I'm lying to everyone.
"Tania, I haven't seen your Dad or your Stepmother. Are they all right?" Ponyboy asked me. "Of course they are. T-they should be ready for their dinner soon." I tried getting up, but almost tripped and fell onto the floor because whenever I'm nervous, I'm most accident-prone. Ponyboy saved me from that humiliation when he caught me. Oh, I was in his arms. Be still my beating heart. Did I honestly just think that? That is just so cheesy, it's wrong.
As if it was kind of looking awkward in front of the servants, Ponyboy and I suddenly let go of each other. Then, I said to Ponyboy, trying so hard just to sound normal, "I think I'm very full. I couldn't even think about any dessert."
Ponyboy just said, "I guess I couldn't eat anything now either." He was always so quiet most of the time. But tonight, I was hoping to get him to talk to me a little more. "Don't go away yet, I'll be back." I told Ponyboy, then went back to my room. All of a sudden, an inner voice said, You're not just a liar, but a shameless little hussy. you're supposed to know better. You are going to get in so much trouble as it is if you get caught, and you will. But I ignored that nagging voice of reason and put on the kimono-ish nighdress, black knee-high stockings and nothing else, and I tied the sash.
Then, being satisfied, I went back downstairs to the living room with the fireplace, actually, more like sauntered in a little, I don't know. I'm definitely worried now, what if this is wrong, what if what I'm trying to do with Ponyboy is for all the wrong reasons. I mean, sometimes, I wasn't even confident he recognized that I was a girl, let alone a woman. Why was I in such a hurry? Because I was in between, that's the real truth. I was at the age where I thought I had answers to everything, even what I really couldn't explain.
Could something which seems so wrong really turn out feeling all right? I didn't really know yet, not knowing anything about how it really was to make love. I could have only imagined what it might be like.
I sat down beside Ponyboy. "It's a hot evening, isn't it?" I asked. "Oh yeah, I guess it is." Ponyboy answered. I struck a match and I lit up the candle in front of us on the table, then off went the lights. Then, I said, "aren't you bored just sitting here? You're even quieter than usual."
Helga tried to come in, but I said, "Helga don't, and tell Mario, Jacques-Claude, and Stefan everything's fine in here." Helga said, "Very well, Miss Tania." and she closed the old-fashioned sliding doors with concern on her face. She still left the other door open, I noticed. "That's a very pretty housedress, Tania." Ponyboy said. "It's the first time I ever wore it. " I told him. "You know, the grass really is greener on the other side." Ponyboy said. "Of course it is, but that's only because someone pays to keep the grass watered, like Randy would say. As for me, I can tell you that being rich isn't all it's cracked up to be by the people who aren't. It gets kind of lonely."
"Aw, Tania, that isn't true. You're not lonely, you have all kinds of friends. I also know that you have a wonderful family, and they are still there for you. I know your mother's better off now. Besides, I'm your friend." What Ponyboy had said almost brought tears to my eyes.
Of course, he was almost completely right. Only, I remembered how Uncle Jake and Aunt Frances were last Christmas. Even though I had felt hurt and confused about it, I couldn't tell anyone about that. Not even Ponyboy. I already asked Dad why their behavior was so and he said I was not to understand what happened and I had to get over it.
The problem at hand was, I loved Ponyboy, and I was scared to let him know even that. Scared that I would only ruin what friendship we had. What was I even thinking with this stupid get-up on? I guess curiosity made up most of the problem, and that I love Ponyboy.
"Ponyboy, there's something I have to tell you." I was going to say the three words, but I thought of something else. Next thing I knew, I said, "Sodapop looks good, but you look better to me." Ponyboy just said, "Uh, yeah. I always thought you were prettier than Janie, in your own way."
Suddenly, we were sitting even closer to each other, and I felt one of my hands and Ponyboy's meeting and holding each other, and I looked up at Ponyboy. Those eyes, I loved those eyes, even though he hates them and will never let you tell him there's any green in them. Closer, so dangerously closer. I felt Ponyboy take me into his arms and then, our lips met in our first kiss. I felt so so happy, and I never wanted any of it to end. I, Tania Abigail Lightstone was getting my first kiss!
"Tania Abigail Lightstone! What is wrong with you girl?" Grandma Bluehill cried. The lights were turned brighly on, and the magic had ended, just as though it struck midnight in Cinderella. Ponyboy and I sprang guiltily apart. Dad looked like he wanted to go over here and punch Ponyboy, but someone else was there. He said, "You are not going to hit my baby brother. I'll deal with him myself." Oh my God. Darry was there, and Mr. and Mrs. Housten, Helen, Allison, and even Grandpa came downstairs with all the commotion. "What is all this ruckus? Can't a withered, dying old man get some rest in this infernal mansion anymore?" Then, he looked over to me and Ponyboy and shuddered with a "GAH!" and then, "It's a hooligan punk!" meaning Ponyboy.
Well, any way you intend to look at the situation, the party was over. Dead, the arrival of the 'rents, our closest neighbours, the evil little mutant, Superman, and the elders of the household pretty much threw a Molotov cocktail and destroyed it. I was already beginning to feel the tears in my eyes when Darry already left a hint of how badly Ponyboy was grounded as they were leaving and Darry was still yelling at him.
Helen meanwhile, was the next person to tear into me. "Tania Lightstone, how dare you deceive us like this, and dump your little stepsister, my baby, onto the Houstens! Of all the things you would choose to do to shame us with your irresponsibility, you invite that boy over without telling us! Do you have absolutely none of the sense God gave you?" Helen seemed very close to tears herself. I just had to end up crying in earnest after that. "I never get to do anything alone!" I cried. "I am fifteen years old, I'm a woman! I'm not a little girl like Allison!" I cried.
"Until you stop behaving like a child," Dad said harshly, "Then nobody else will extend any of your privileges. We trusted you to keep your little stepsister safe. Then you dump her onto our neighbours while you...you...lure a teenage boy over to this house, with dubious background. And you had better get on some clothes and get rid of that ridiculous thing you are wearing. You're grounded, Tania, for two weeks. You are not going to see that boy or any of those boys that are like him again, and I mean it. Now get yourself upstairs and go straight to bed. You're not going to Atlantic Canada this summer."
"And I'm never speaking to you again either!" I yelled. "You don't even know them!" I burst into tears and fled upstairs. " Oh, Tania!" Helen cried, but I wasn't answering her either.
End of Chapter Twelve.
