Hey you! Yeah, I'm talking to you! You're the person who's been skipping my chapters. I have one word for you: Don't. ALL of my chapters are important to the story, even if they might seem like they're really not. My chapters are here to help build the main plot of the story, and if you miss them then you're practically playing Jenga and sooner or later those pieces are gonna come tumbling down and you'll have no idea what the story's about. You got meh? =)


Why I hate protective walls…

"Hey, Johnson!"

Natalie looked past Valerie's blazing red hair, her eyes meeting a stranger's. The fair-haired boy nodded towards her direction.

Alex, the wind whispered. His name is Alex. She wondered why Alex Connor suddenly decided to talk to her. She knew who he was-one of the exclusives in Heath's group-but she never would have thought he would talk to her, let alone know her name. Well, her last name.

"You up for Freddy's Saturday night?"

She nodded.

"Cool, see you there." He grinned at her as he walked on by.

It had only been a few days since her last interaction with Heath and to her utter surprise and secret delight, a few noticed her walking with him. It was another philosophy she had learned: with people like them, you're always being watched. You're always going to be judged on what you do, how you do it, and whom you're doing it with. She had to constantly remind herself not to do certain things when she's in the presence of Valerie. No, don't touch your hair. You're too self-conscious. Don't take that coke, grab a water bottle instead. You can't wear that shirt because it has a stain on it.

There seems to be a helping hand, ready to tap her shoulder as a remembrance of how close she had come to making a mistake. But she thought of it as more than just a reminder. Big things are happening to her life right now, so shouldn't an even bigger force be the cause of all this? She imagined herself with a devil and an angel, resting on her shoulders. Only her devil seemed to be in an enchantment, frozen through time, while her angel remained, always ready to tap subconscious mind.

And every time she finds herself hesitating, she would remind herself that angels don't lie. No matter how nerve-wracking it is, knowing anything she does would be permanently marked on the lead alpha's social chart, it doesn't change the fact that it's amazing to be exclusive. Every time she finds herself doubt the dragging hesitation that seemed to pull at her consciousness, she would remember how Valerie would smile at her, always welcoming her to the vacant spot next to her and her angel would appear in a puff of smoke. Now, she was so used to being inside, she can barely feel the guilt of pushing Wendy outside by dominating her position. But it didn't matter because whenever she looked at Wendy she would always be smiling. It was as if she was secretly saying; Go on, you're finally making your way to the top. You belong there.

Her devil had woken up once and whispered to her ear; the higher you are, the harder you fall.

But her angel won't ever let her fall. After all, it's why they have wings.

***

Natalie slammed the locker shut.

"Hey, Nat." Valerie was used to calling her that now, ever since that first time on the track. "You need a ride?" Her car keys swing around in circles, attached to the key ring around her finger.

"No. I'm fine," she smiled to make her gratitude obvious. The truth was, she had been looking forward to staying here.

"You sure?" Valerie pressed.

Her smile faltered for a second as she forced herself to lie another time. "Yeah."

Valerie suddenly stepped forward, her eyes bearing into Natalie. Natalie felt the instinct to step back. It was true, she's now the new girl that gets to sit next to Valerie, but there was an unspoken truce that even Natalie had figured out right from the start: there's always a protective wall, a bubble of implicit authority and confidentiality that separates the queen from her lowly subjects.

Valerie popped that bubble with a single question, "are you intimidated by me?"

Yes. "No." Did I do something wrong, she wanted to ask her angel. There was no reply.

They stared at each other for a second, both struggling to find true meaning behind the hidden corners of their words. Natalie furtively fidgeted under the sudden profound quality the air inside the bubble seemed to possess. She couldn't help but feel cornered like a prey, the three walls closing in, making the air heavier than it is.

Just as suddenly, Valerie broke out a smile, surreptitiously sealing back the seams broken by her, rebuilding her wall. "Just checking. I'll see you tomorrow."

All Natalie could do was nod as the queen walked away.

***

Natalie leaned against the door of the vehicle, attempting to look casual when deep inside she was coiling with tension and excitement. In the past, running was the best part of practice, but this is the present and in the present, Natalie isn't just someone on the team, she was someone that belongs.

That's it. I don't feel awkward because this shouldn't feel awkward. Belonging shouldn't feel awkward.

She remained tensed in silence.

The car beeped once and its lights blinked twice. Heath walked toward her, "you're here already?"

"Um, yeah." She doesn't see what's wrong with being early. This was usually the time they meet.

"I just thought…Most girls take longer in the showers."

"Oh."

"So I heard from Alex that you're going to-"

"Natalie!"

The pair looked to the right at the sound of her name being bellowed. Michael stood a few feet away, his bike already at hand.

"You know him?" Heath arched an eyebrow.

"He's stalking me," she said as she jogged towards his direction. "Hold on."

It didn't take long for Natalie to reach him considering he was already approaching Heath's car but Natalie stepped in front of his bike to prevent him from going any further. "What are you doing here?"

"As your boyfriend, I can come see you practice, can't I?" There was no humor in his gaze.

If her heart hadn't been beating so loudly, she would have pointed out the fact that practice had already ended. But the guilt and fear swallowed her up so she didn't. "I'm really sorry about that. I panicked."

"And used me."

"No! I just… well, I wasn't thinking." She eyed him hopefully, seeing as he would understand just how well she thinks when she's doing anything math related. "But it's not so bad, right? I mean, maybe you could…keep it up? With my parents?"

His eyes darkened, "no, I can't."

She clenched her hands, "please? What would it hurt you?"

He lifted a brow but it didn't have the same desired expression when Heath did it. "You think you're so cool that it can enhance my reputation to be associated with you? Even as a lie?"

"No! I don't think I'm cool!" Why do you always say that? "Listen, can we talk about this later? I, um, have to go to practice."

His gaze flickered over her shoulder, spotting Heath leaning against his car. "Fine. Library at seven."

"Not my house?"

"Not until we set things straight with your parents. I'm not interested in being used."

"I wasn't using you!"

"Then what would you call it?"

His words slapped against silence. Natalie glanced over her shoulder to see if Heath was still there, wondering if he had decided she wasn't worth his time. To her utter horror, she spotted his silhouette slowly closing the distance.

Michael followed her gaze but he already knew who she could be staring at. "Who's that?" He already knew who Heath was too.

"Don't mess this up, Michael. Meaning: don't do anything idiotic," she whispered through gritted teeth.

The irony of her words skimmed past Michael, "do you like him?"

Natalie ignored his question, "Just be cool."

"I'm surprised you think I have it in me to be cool."

"Shut up, Michael. Don't you dare tell him about the tutoring thing." She broke into a smile, "do you have to go?" For once, she wished he would leave without her.

He shook his head, not truly answering her question and eyed Michael, echoing his previous question, "Who are you?"

Michael hesitated for a second, and then threw his arm around Natalie's shoulder, hauling her against him. "Natalie's boyfriend."

My what? She whirled around to kick him in the shin but the second she was facing him he had grabbed her by the shoulders and kissed her on the cheek. Then he quickly released her and flipped her a grin. "See you tonight, babe."

He took off before she could injure him.

"I didn't know you had a boyfriend." Heath stared at her, his brilliant hazel eyes gleaming with emotion. Accusing glare for leading him on? A sparkle of surprise at the thought that someone like her would have a boyfriend like him?

"Um…yeah, well…" she trailed off. She reached for her angel, hoping for some sign-a tap, perhaps-at how horrible things can become if she was exposed to having a tutor.

Somewhere near, the sound of metal against metal could be heard as a janitor walked out of the locker room closet, the sound so loud that it echoed in her mind.

He decided to spare her. "We should go."

***

Somewhere far above, a bird twittered a short melody and Natalie couldn't help but wonder why it didn't suffocate from the car's exhaust already. They'd been sitting in her driveway with the engine humming within the air like a swarm of disturbed bees. Heath stared ahead, refusing to make eye contact with Natalie. Not that she wanted him to. The eyes are the windows to the soul, she'd heard from somewhere, and without her angel, she doesn't want to know what her soul looks like.

"About the party." He paused and she waited beside the car door, frozen in her steps. "It's been changed. It's for cross-country members. Only people on the team can come, so I don't think you can bring your boyfriend."

It felt as if the car had crashed and her chest had slammed against something hard. Why is he telling me this? Am I not invited? But I'm on the team, aren't I?

Again, she heard the same whisper. You belong.

Suddenly, her angel was back.

She nodded and she knew what she wanted to hear herself say-and maybe, also what he wanted to hear. "I'll still be there."

The thing about walls is that you know they're built for a reason: to keep people out. You always know when it's standing in front of you, almost as clearly as if you can see it. But despite that awareness, you'll never be able to predict when one collapses just as suddenly as one slams into you.