AUTHORS NOTE: The score has been tallied up, and the choice has been made. :) Read on to find out which it was! Sorry it took so long, was in Florida for a week without a computer, then came home and got a new computer and that took a few days to hook up and I got the Sims 3, so was playing that hardcore! ^_^;; But anyhoo, enjoy!
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Alice had pulled me to the side and her expression was making me nervous. After we stopped outside of Edward's range of mind reading she took a deep breath and looked at me. Her arms went to her sides.
"Bella, I need to let you know something. I don't know how exactly you feel about the change, but I wanted to let you know that I saw it, and that's why me and Edward were there right away. That's not the thing I need to tell you now though, when I told Edward, he wanted to make sure the change didn't happen but when we got there and you were changing he didn't stop it. He could have and I know it. I knew I'd kill you if I tried, but Bella don't let Edward say anything different. I know I shouldn't have said anything but you needed to know. He's being selfish," Alice stopped, looking towards the house again. My mind was picturing everything. I was spinning. My mind twisting and turning. I collasped. It was too much for me. Even for my vampire self. Alice took a deep sigh and patted my back. She let me have my alone time.
She walked back into the house. I laid in the grass, looking up at the darkening sky. I didn't move, and I didn't even feel myself breathe. All I was thinking about what why Edward would do this, and what Jake will do when he finds out. My throat was burning, but I didn't care, my body couldn't move. I felt crippled with confusion, pain, and thought.
It must have been hours before I could find the strength to even get up. I was going to ask him why he did this to me. I wanted to be like him for so long before but he had always said no. But now he was just going to change his mind that quick? Or maybe not it was because he needed me, as much as I thought I needed him at one point. Right now though, I knew I only needed to speak to Jake. I got up, slowly and headed towards the Cullen house. It was quiet, too quiet.
I walked up to the door, still wondering if I should run and try to find Jake, or stay here. I knew I had to confront Edward. He owed it to me for turning me into this....thing. I walked into the silent house. I walked up the steps towards Edward's room. The door was closed. I knocked twice. The door slowly opened. Edward looked at me, but did not speak. His eyes were trying to read my thoughts, but I knew he couldn't. I took a breath.
"Edward, we need to talk. Now," I started slowly. He nodded and sat on the small couch in the room. I could tell he was upset with himself. His fists were clenched and now he wasn't looking at me. He was staring down at the floor. I sat beside him.
"I can't believe you'd do this to me now. I wanted this so bad before, and now you decide to do it. When it's too late, you could have saved me Edward! I can't believe you'd do this to me!" I was yelling, and I felt anger boil inside of me. Edward's expression went to shock for a second at my sudden anger. He stood up.
"Bella, calm down. You're a newborn, you can't get angry like this. I know what I did was selfish and wrong, but Isabella Swan, I need you. I need you to survive," He put his hands on my shoulders. His hands didn't feel cold to touch anymore. My anger didn't go down, I just felt anger. I pushed him back, what I thought was lightly, but it wasn't. He went against a wall with a loud thudd. I looked down at my own hands, and I took off running.
I was so surprised by my own strength. I was used to being a weak human who couldn't move Edward or Jake even if I tried my hardest. I was in the woods, leaning against a tree. I heard noises. It was loud in my ears. I turned around and saw nothing, though it sounded so close. I looked behind my shoulder and then started walking towards the noise. It sounded like a large animal running or walking through the forest. It was getting more and more dense, filled with trees, bushes, high grasses. I heard more walking now.
I hid behind a large boulder before I peeked over the side to see what large creatures were making these sounds. It was the pack, the wolf pack! I felt excited, like I wanted to run out and hug Jake. I was about to get up when I felt something behind me, holding me from getting up. I looked behind me and saw Edward. He was holding me down.
"Bella, what are you doing? Come on, they might attack you, they don't know its you, don't be stupid. Jake won't see you as Bella, just a vampire, come with me," Edward pleaded. He was crouching low, and being cautious. The wolves stopped walking, they sensed us. I glared at Edward, loathing him. I threw myself up and ran to the middle towards the large wolf I knew and loved. Jacob. I heard growling and barking, I heard ripping and tearing sounds as a fight broke out.
It was so fast I didn't even see anything. But Edward was in the middle near me, surrounded by snarling wolves. Edward was also growling and took a defensive stance. The wolves must have went after Edward because his shirt was torn. I looked at Jacob, and he was growling at me. I took a step toward him, not afraid.
"Jake?" I streched an arm out to touch his fur. He stopped growling and looked more at me. Reading my dark red eyes. He just took off. He ran and I followed. I heard the growling get worse and then I knew a fight had gotten worse. I'm sure that the rest thought that Edward did it to me, but I knew he didn't, and that Edward could probably just fend for himself.
I was running fast, not too far behind Jake until he turned a corner and I couldn't even hear him. I was in the meadow. The meadow where I had went with Edward. I looked up at the moon and hen back around me. My senses were now a hundred times better, but I couldn't find Jake. I start off towards his house until I stopped knowing that I couldn't go there. Billy was there, and with me becoming a vampire, I would have put him in danger. I fell to my knees. Jake hated me now. He didn't even truly look at me, just took off. I closed my eyes and laid in the tall grass. I was staring up at the night sky.
"Bella, what happened to you?" It was Jake's voice. I jumped up quickly. I smelled a wet dog smell and scrunched my face but blew it off. Jake wasn't getting close. He was still about three feet away. He looked so perfect and muscular. I took a step forward and he watched carefully.
"I was bitten by Victoria, Jake please. I know I didn't want this to happen either. Please, still say you love me like you did before. I just couldn't live without you not loving me, Jake," I said softly. He looked away and didn't speak at first.
"You aren't alive anymore. I can't love you. I want to but you're not Bella anymore. You're one of them now," He wasn't looking at me. He was talking quietly. I felt my heart drop inside my cold stone hard chest now. He didn't love me anymore? After everything?
"Jake, please don't say that!" I tried to reach out to him but he pushed my hand away. When he touched my cold hand he took a step back.
"You aren't my Bella anymore. You're his. You're one of them. I can't do it Bella! I can't!" He was crying now as he started to walk away. I walked after him, my mind racing with things to say, things to do. I didn't want to lose him. I couldn't lose him.
"No, Jake. Listen to me! I don't want him! You're the only one I want! Please don't do this! I didn't ask for this! I just want you!" I was screaming at him. He stopped and looked at me. And shook his head. His tears were running down his cheeks.
"Just stop! If I was there you wouldn't be like this. If I was there then you'd be alive with a beating heart. But no, I wasn't there and now look at you! And you're turned into a blood sucker. I can't do it Bells. I'm sorry, I can't do it. We just can't do it at all," he spoke so quiet, almost as if he didn't want me to hear. I shook my head.
"Don't give up on me! Don't give up on us!" I yelled as I wrapped my arms around his waist tightly. He pulled my arms off of his waist and started walking off. I just stood there watching as he walked off. My heart broken as it could be. Even though I was already dead, I wanted to be non existant, be dead for real. Not alive, not standing here watching as the one I loved walked off. I wanted nothing to do with this life.
TWO DAYS LATER....
"Bells?!" The voice had me jump up. I couldn't see but I heard his voice. I was trying to focus my eyes but it wasn't working very well. Someone pushed me gently back. I felt sore, everywhere.
"It's okay, I'm here," it was Jake's voice softly speaking to me. He was brushing my hair with his hand. My mind was rushing through what had happened. He just told me that it was over. Then why was he here now? Was I dead?
"What happened? I thought you didn't love me anymore?" I asked through my cracked voice. My vision was suddenly better. I saw Jake looking down at me. I recongnized where I was. In the hospital. But wouldn't they know I was dead? Know that I wasn't human?
"Are you crazy? Of course I still love you!" Jake held my hand. I felt his warmth. I smiled. I was so happy to be looking at his handsome face, and to hear him say he still loved me. But at the same time I was wondering what was going on.
"But, you told me in the field that you didn't! Because I was turned into a blood told me you couldn't be with me!" I asked squeezing his hand. Jake kissed my hand and then gave me a reassuring smile.
"You are my Bells, no matter what. And it was all just a dream. You were in a coma for two days. You're going to be fine though. You're allowed to leave soon hopefully. Then things can go back to the way they were," Jacob kissed my forehead and I felt like I was whole again. I was so happy to hear it was all a dream. But it felt so real. I wanted to ask so many questions. But the silent moment between me and Jake was making me feel better. I just wanted to sit here by his side forever. I squeezed his hand tight and I was too happy to express that my dream wasn't reality. It wasn't even a dream, just a nightmare.
