Chapter 12 - Limbo

"Sit" I said, the only thing I managed to say. I had been standing there staring at the ground for what seemed like hours. I felt Brittany tug at my hand, but I didn't move. She then let go and I let my arm fall limply at my side, trying desperately to gather my thoughts. There was a soft thump which told me that she had sat down on the bed. I dared to look around, my previous tears frozen by mere shock. I let a hand wipe across my cheeks and then through my hair while I pinched at the bridge of my nose with the other. My breathing was unusually steady and didn't seem to have any connection to my heart, which was still hammering away in my throat. At least that's what it felt like. I didn't look at her, trying to collect my thoughts somehow. I started pacing from the door between the bedroom and the living room to the door that led to the balcony.

Back and forth.

"Will you please say something?" Brittany pleaded. I felt her gaze on me but my thoughts were such a mess. I couldn't concentrate. I was mad at her but at the same time I'd never felt happier. She had said it, right? She had really said it? I wasn't dreaming right? I pinched the bridge of my nose hard. Ouch, no I was awake. She had really said it. I stopped abruptly and felt like laughing out. She liked me. She hadn't said it out loud, but she did. I was so sure, she liked me. Of course. How did I not see it before? But I had to know for sure, I wanted her to admit it. I wanted to know for sure. She at least owed me that.

"Explain" I choked out and stopped, still not looking at her. I don't know why I didn't, but I was so afraid that she'd be gone and that there'd be another in her place, that I was being Punk'd or something. More than anything I needed her to have said it and have meant it.

"I-I don't like the first five-step plan. I don't …" she stopped. "I'm so selfish" she mumbled.

"No you're not, just explain." I said. The need to comfort her, to assure her about herself and the angelic, incredible, amazing person she was had almost become an instinct.

"I don't want you to get over me" she said quietly. My head snapped up, and I stared at her. She was sitting on the edge of the bed hugging her knees. She looked at me, and I melted. Every emotion was evident in her eyes and the tears that streamed down her face.

"No?" I asked. She shook her head.

"Why? I don't want to go around waiting for that tiny microscopic chance that you might-"

"I do though" she cut me off, her eyes never leaving mine.

"Do what?" I asked a bit too harshly. She cringed and hugged her knees tighter.

"You said that there is only a tiny chance that I might like you back. Like, like you like you but-" she said.

"There is"

"No, there's no chance that-"

"What?"

"Stop interrupting me" she complained. I felt like crying again. "There's nochance that I would ever notlike you." I felt how my heart skipped several beats. "I don't get how you could ever think that I didn't like you. I don't kiss people I've just met for nothing. I still remember you from that one trip to Chicago; I remember everything about you. I tried to find you but I never could. I already told you that I wanted to kiss you and that I wanted you." She said, standing up. I backed away slightly as she walked towards me slowly, carefully.

"But you had a boyfriend" I choked out. "And you said it yourself, it's your mask"

"With you it wasn't. And screw Nate. I broke it off with him because of you. I couldn't stand the guilt of wanting to be near you as much as I did when I had him. I didn't want to hurt him, it wouldn't be right" she said. I felt my breath hitch as she reached out and let her fingers ghost across my cheek.

"I don't want to be your rebound" I said shakily. I didn't. I really didn't want that.

"You won't be. You teach me about love every day" she cupped my cheek.

"L-Love?"

"Strong word, sorry, not ready for that yet... But you taught me so much about love, and how love can be. All that stuff I wrote, you helped me write it." I was frozen, like a statue or something, when I felt her nose bump against mine, still not breaking eye-contact.

"I… I… Can I have like a second or something to process this?" I asked, happy that I'd finally regained the power of speech. She moved back slowly, nodding, taking my hand and dragging me to the end of the bed. I sat down on it beside her, glad that she wasn't so close to me, but still right beside me. It was all that I'd wanted ever since I met her. Why was I being such a scaredy cat about it? I looked over at her.

"You're not kidding, are you?" I asked. She shook her head and daringly took my hand. I let her, wanting her close. I looked down at her hands silently as she spread my fingers and replaced the air between them with my own; a perfect fit. As she gently locked her hand around mine, I felt my own do the same. I felt like a kid again, like my first love. I gulped and looked at her. She was smiling at me, and I felt as if her expression mirrored my every emotion. Fear, joy, exhilaration, nervousness, luck.

"What now?" she asked.

"I… I don't know." I said. I wanted so bad to lean in and kiss her. I realized only now how much I missed the taste of her lips and ached to feel her again. But something in me was hesitant.

"Are you sure that you're ready for this…for us?" I asked.

"No… I just know that this" she took my other hand and led it to her chest. She rested my hand between her own and the skin above her heart. I gasped at the racing sensation under my palm. "That's you" she said. It took everything not to kiss her. Instead I took our twined hands and mirrored her motion, with her hand above my heart, beneath my hand. She let out a shaky breath.

"You" I whispered and she got the hint.

"C-can … Can I kiss you?" she asked, scooting closer until the distance was eliminated.

"No" I said.

"No?" she said in confusion, her expression hurt.

"Britt, don't get me wrong, there's nothing I want more than to kiss you, but I don't want to put my heart at risk. When you're sure, then you can kiss me. Not until then. It doesn't mean that I like you any less, it just means that I don't want to confuse you any more than you already are" I said, leaning forwards and resting my forehead against hers.

"Why are you so damn smart?" she asked. I felt a giggle bubble in my throat.

"I'm not any smarter than you" I said, nuzzling my nose against hers.

"Yes you are" she said. I glanced warningly at her and she just giggled at me.

"But, just to remind you what you'll miss out on if you decide that you don't want this" I said and wiggled my body slightly. Her eyes widened expectantly and I smiled as I closed the distance between our lips for the shorter of a second.

"Okay, that can hardly count as a kiss" she complained. I grinned and smiled. Just when she looked like she was about to give up the staring competition I leaned forwards again and pressed my lips hard against hers for almost two seconds. It was so hard not to let her kiss me back, but I just needed this, I needed for her to know that I still liked her. I did, I liked her so much. More than what seemed natural in so little time. She tried to follow me as I pulled away but I giggled and moved my lips out of reach.

"When you're ready" I said. She whined and pressed her face into my neck unashamedly breathing in deeply, taking in my scent. I giggled and let my fingers tangle in her hair.

"Who says I'm not ready now?" she asked into my neck.

"Do you seriously think that yourself?" I asked with unmasked doubt.

"No… I still need to write one thing in my book and I need to be sure. Not about you, but be sure that I can do this, open myself to someone. To you" she said. I hummed slightly in approval of her words.

"I'm really tired" she said suddenly, and felt heavier against my shoulder.

"It's not even nine yet"

"I haven't slept for days." She said. I remembered what Mercedes had said.

"Why not?"

"I thought if I used every hour in a day thinking then I'd reach the solution faster and maybe I'd be ready before we went home" she said.

"You're adorable" I said bluntly. She giggled.

"Come on then. I promised you a cuddle didn't I?" I said and tried to stand up with our hands still clasped together and her leaning on me. She moved her hands a bit in my grip and twined our fingers as she let me pull her to her feet.

"Do you think I could borrow your Giraffe shorts again?" I asked timidly. I hadn't bothered to bring pajamas because I thought she would turn me down.

"Sure, they look really cute on you" she said and made me blush slightly. She released one of my hands to drag me to the closet opening it and getting me the shorts.

"Oh and here" she said and handed me a shirt. It was my shark print shirt. She'd borrowed it a few days back.

"Thanks" I said. I released her other hand to go change in the bathroom but she grabbed my arm again, tugging me back.

"Britt, I'm not gonna change in front of you" I said.

"Ugh, you're such a pain" she complained and let me go.

"I know" I sang and walked out.

The minute I closed the door to the bathroom, I heard myself let out a loud laugh of relief. I felt like I had been holding my breath all along. It was unbelievable, indescribable, and incredible. How did I ever get so lucky? I felt like laughing endlessly, like I had gotten superpowers or something. If I had to I could run for miles on this knowledge. I had to control myself to keep from jumping around like some lunatic crack head.

"Are you okay?" there was a knock on the door.

"Y-yeah…" I giggled and hurried out of my jean shorts and top, changing into the giraffe shorts and the shark shirt. They matched oddly well. I opened the door and couldn't help the goofy smile that had taken over my face. She grinned back at me.

"Happy much?" she asked.

"You have no idea" I breathed and wrapped my arms around her, feeling her warmth as much as possible when not allowing myself to do more than that. I kept reminding myself that she just needed some time. I felt her arms tighten around me.

"Hey guys!" Sugar called and we shot apart, both blushing. Why though? It wasn't as if we were being more touchy feely than normally. "I'm ho- oh…" Sugar stopped dead and looked at us. "You sleeping over?" she asked me. I nodded.

"Don't be too loud"

"I'm gonna kill you in your sleep one day, Sugar" I growled as she walked between us and into her room, shutting the door in our faces. Well thank you. She opened the door shortly again and searched our faces, but seemed to find nothing because she shut it again.

"Come on" Britt said and took my hand pulling me into the bedroom. I felt my heart increase its pace again as I realized that this time we'd be falling asleep together as equals in whatever this was. I knew what it meant when she would smile at me or when she held me. It made me calm and scared at the same time. Without a sound she pulled the sheets to a side on the left side of the bed and crawled in, scooting to the middle of the bed. I smiled and crawled into the bed, wiggling closer until we lay as close as possible without any physical contact. Tryingly I let my arm reach out and let my hand rest on her cheek. She lifted her head into the touch humming weakly, scooting closer making our knees bump together. I grinned slightly and snaked my arm around her waist and tugged her closer. She did the same and held me there. I didn't know that you could feel so happy and so calm at the same time. It seemed unreal. I let my body curl into hers and rested my head by the crook of her neck.

"This is nice…" she mumbled into my hair. I nodded and smiled. It really was.


I woke feeling warm and content and not really as clammy as I probably should've felt when lying so close to her in this warmth. I didn't open my eyes, just felt her around me. Her arms were around my back and traced little circled onto the fabric. She was definitely awake. I felt her steady breathing as her torso pressed against mine rhythmically. I swore that I could hear her heart, or maybe it was my own. I don't know, maybe both of ours? But I felt her under my hands and realized that my hands had somehow found their way onto bare skin. Her shirt had either ridden up or I had actually moved it myself. Okay, I definitely did that because my hands were resting under the fabric just below her shoulder blades. I didn't know if I was allowed to do that or not, but I could always excuse my actions because I was sleeping.

"Hey" I whispered into her neck, suddenly aware of how close my lips were to her neck. I couldn't resist this time. I leaned forwards a bit and let my lips ghost over the pale skin. She shuddered and giggled.

"I thought kissing wasn't allowed" she whispered.

"Mm…Stupid rule" I mumbled, knowing very well that I had made it up myself.

"San, it's a good rule" she said and let her hands rub down my back gently.

"You don't want to kiss me?" I asked in false hurt.

"Don't be silly, of course I do. But I still have to figure out what I'm gonna do with this whole 'us' situation and if you kiss me I can't really think" she said and nuzzled her nose against my hair. I nodded and sighed.

"Just figure something out soon, please. I'm kind of going crazy." I said and blushed.

"Hah! I knew it!" The door sprung open and both me and Britt shot apart and sat up straight. What the hell? Oh wait, I knew that voice. I glared at the door where Sugar stood smiling half exhilarated, half sheepish. "Sorry, Asbergers" she added.

"Sugar!" Brittany hissed and sat up.

"I just wanted to know, okay? I'm just so happy for you guys!" she said and jumped onto the bed, face palming it and turning around. Suddenly I felt like the girl who'd started dating a mother with Sugar being the annoying three-year-old with too big ears for her own good. I groaned and got out of bed, ignoring Sugar completely.

"Sugar, I love you, you know that but keep your nose to yourself girl" Brittany said and tapped Sugars nose before getting out of bed and walking towards me.

"But you are together right?" Sugar asked and sat up cross-legged.

"No" Brittany said hesitantly.

"And even if we were it wouldn't be any of your damn business" I added.

"But you were just talking about getting your mack on. Oh my god, you're doing that friends with benefit thing aren't you? Brittany! Don't do that to the poor girl, she's totally cray cray about you!" Sugar scolded.

"Sugar, we're not doing anything! I need to get my life together first"

"Can't she just help you with that?" Sugar asked. "Wait, you told her that you liked her?" Sugar added.

"Yeah, last night. But you really need to keep out of this, Sugar. You're not making it any easier for me to figure things out" Brittany pleaded.

"I get it. But seriously, how much can there be to figure out? She's hot, Latina, and totes cray about you, and seriously if I was gay I'd tap that" she said and gave me a smirk.

"I'd never in a million years let you, Motta" I said and huffed, crossing my arms across my chest. She was such a pain. No more sleepovers here I thought to myself. Girl's listening through the door.

"Whatever," Sugar said and got out of the bed. "But please say when I need to buy earplugs" Brittany let out a laugh and threw her Brittany mammoth at Sugar who squealed and hurried out the room, shutting the door.

"Well that wasn't awkward at all" I said sarcastically walking towards her.

"Good morning-hug?" she asked. I grinned and nodded, stepping close to her and wrapping my arms around her.

"Morning…"I said and smiled, snuggling into her hair. She chuckled and sighed contently. I couldn't think of any other place to be than right here. It was so odd though.

"You're hungry" she stated when my stomach growled. I growled back at it, not wanting to go away.

"Not really" I said. Britt just giggled and released me, walking out the door into the living room. I walked after her.

"What do you want for breakfast?" she asked smilingly. I was so close to just saying "you" but then again the more I let her think, the faster she'd hopefully come to the conclusion that she wanted to be with me. I settled for leaning against the wall and answering.

"Whatever you're having"

"Scrambled eggs it is!" she declared and held up the spatula.


I must say that except for Mercedes asking about the sudden return of closeness to which I said nothing and a few almost kisses, Britt and I were pretty good at that 'holding back' stuff. We'd spent most of the day by the pool, chilling and playing ball with Sam while Sugar and Mercedes napped on the grass. I accidentallywoke Sugar by splashing half the pool onto her. Woops, totally not my fault.

I was sitting on the edge of the pool casually trying to splash water on Trouty Mouth, discreetly letting my fingers ghost over Brittany's. Sugar and Mercedes had gone into town to shop but both Britt and I were in the mood for just being by the pool.

"Santana, you're coming with us to the Spaghetti party tonight right? I managed to score us some tickets from our neighbors. They're for five people and in Venice today so I asked if we could have them." He asked.

"Hm, what is it?" I asked calmed to a very tractable state of mind. By the knowledge about Brittany and I.

"It's Europark – some European renting company – they have this big Spaghetti party every Tuesday where people come and just eat Spaghetti Bolognese. It's supposedly pretty fun" he said. I shrugged and let my head rest on Brittany's shoulder, totally pacified by her hand now ghosting over mine.

"I guess" I said and smiled lazily.

"Cool, we leave at seven. What time is it now? It must be pretty late" he asked. I didn't make any movement to go find out, so instead Brittany nudged her shoulder against my head, forcing me to sit upright as she stood up to get her phone. I glanced at her shamelessly. I could get used to her just always strutting around in a bikini. No problem.

I jerked back to reality when I felt skin on my knees. Sam was using my knees as a resting place for his arms as he looked up at me.

"So, Santana" he said and looked like he was about to enquire me on something, but Brittany was back in that moment. She sat down and kicked Sam away.

"Hands off" Brittany warned and let her arms wrap around me possessively.

"Hey she's free" he protested with a playful smirk. I grinned at him and half expected Brittany to say that I wasn't free and that I was hers. God, I wish she would've said that, but then again, Sam didn't know that I was team rainbow. Okay, he probably did, but anyway.

"You aren't" Britt said warningly.

"I know. It's not as if that hottie of yours would ever go for me" Sam huffed.

"Hey I'm not anybody's, yet" I said silently challenging Brittany to claim me. Brittany looked at me questioningly, and I shrugged. We might as well tell him, it wasn't as if I'd known him for long, and he probably knew it anyway.

"You are though" Brittany then chuckled.

"Really, and whose might that be?" I asked.

"Well you're Britt's" Sam said and grinned. I could've had any expression to that, but I chose the nonchalant even if I was kind of freaking that I was being so damn obvious.

"Hm, not yet" I said. Brittany huffed and rolled her eyes. I knew that I was teasing her about getting together for real and that I probably shouldn't, but Sam was actually a great guinea pig for coming out. Hadn't known him that long, thought un-negatively about him and he was an important part of Britt's life and if Britt was safe with it, then who was I to argue. I mean, if little miss Jesus praying Jones could accept me, surely Guppy Lips'd be alright. I didn't know if he was religious or anything, but I was fairly sure he was. He seemed the type.

"What do you mean 'not yet'? Haven't you had a thing since like day one? Didn't she kiss you in the airport?" Sam asked. Oh right, he had been there that first day.

"Nope, we haven't had anything" Britt chimed

"But you wouldn't shut up about her. You were all like 'Sam, it's that girl from Chicago, the one with the amazing voice, and I talked to her. Oh Sam she's so pretty and sweet and awesome and I kissed her and-'" his fake theatrical voice of Brittany was silenced by the girl herself, her face flaming red as she plunged into the water and hooked his mouth with her finger, climbing onto his back like a monkey.

"If I were you, I'd be very still right now, or I might just kick" Britt hissed. I looked down and saw a foot placed threateningly about five inches from his bathing shorts, directly aimed at his junk. I laughed at them.

"Britt did you really say all that?" I asked, kind of overwhelmed by it. Her flaming cheeks turned possibly redder. "You totally did!" I said loudly and pointed at her. Sam started laughing too, but that was quickly put to an end when Britt's heel kicked his hip warningly. However much I would like to see the show of Brittany vs. Sam, I also wanted Brittany to myself. I reached out and grabbed one of the arms she had fastened around Sam's neck and tugged at it. She immediately released Sam, crawled off him and skipped in the water to my side.

"You're going down, you know that?" Brittany asked me mischievously.

"Wanky" I said, I just couldn't help myself. Rolled her eyes at me and then grabbed me legs so suddenly that I almost fell into the water. With my legs locked in one of her arms she snaked the other around my waist and pulled me into the water. Feeling myself fall I instinctively jerked forwards and tried to grab some part of Britt for support. It ended up being her neck and I flung my arms around it tightening my grip as I felt my butt and lower torso sink into the cold water. I cursed under my breath and held on as tight as I could. She lowered my legs carefully and forced my arms from around her neck smilingly.

"Race ya?"

"3 lanes?" I bid

"4" she giggled. I smirked at her and walked through the water towards the edge.

"All friendly competition, right?" I asked, knowing that I was gonna lose big time. She looked at me as if I was a lunatic or something.

"All is fair in love and war" she said and then she was off. I hissed and set off, trying to gain in on her. It turned out to me more of a game of cat and mouse than a race. She'd be off like a freaking torpedo and I'd try my best to keep up. Sometimes she looked back and almost let me catch her before speeding up again. It was a silent agreement that you couldn't just stop before the edge and wait for the other to turn. I lost count of how many lanes we took until I finally stretched out and caught her ankle. She squirmed and kicked, trying to pry me off, but she was laughing too, trying to keep from sinking.

"I win" I said and tugged her back, placing both of my own feet firmly on the bottom of the pool. She let me tug her back, only twisting so that her back was against the water. I watched as she floated towards me with me gently tugging at her. When she'd finally gotten close enough I felt brave and grabbed around her knee tugging her closer. She looked at me with mischief but then closed her eyes. I felt her torso arch a bit in surprise when I placed a hand on her back and directed her towards me.

Finally my head was right above hers. "You never told me what time it was" I said lowering my head to shield hers from the sun. She opened her eyes and they widened at the closeness but then she lit up in a smile.

"Not that time quite yet, San. Be patient." She said and cupped my cheek. I leaned into the touch. "But other than that it's five past six. We should probably get up, I need to shower before we leave." She added and flipped to stand. I still held my hand on her back. She smiled.

"See you at seven?" I asked hopefully.

"Of course" she said and hugged me tight. I never wanted to let go. I felt her place her lips tenderly in my hair for a second's time. I shivered. It seemed like some sort of promise.


I was walking next to Sam and Brittany down the main street and closed in on the place where we had to turn a corner.

"Are you sure that we're not gonna be like the only ones showing up?" I asked. I really didn't feel like getting embarrassed by showing up like little dorks. We turned the corner and I gaped. The long street that led to the farm where the so called Spaghetti Extravaganza was held was filled with people. It was like a parade or something; an odd parade of tourists. There were every shape and size, every age and ethnicity on their way to this giant dinner. There were at least three hundred people.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure" Sam chuckled and smiled at me. I was still gaping. What the hell? How could people get so excited about Spaghetti Bolognese? I knew that they were excited; I could hear it in their voices. Okay, I was definitely expecting something fancy now if this was the turn out. The road seemed to go on forever, and I engaged in a conversation with Sam about the only thing we had in common; superheroes. This conversation was different though. I didn't have to hide from any of them. I could be just as lesbo as I wanted. That resulted in a pretty detailed walkthrough of the portrayals of Cat Woman.

"She's a freaking goddess!" I exclaimed when we arrived at the newest submission to the line of actors portraying her. Anne Hathaway.

"Like, have you seen her? God, she could go all leather and claw on me any time" I said in awe. I was poked hard on the arm and saw Brittany staring at me with a raised brow and a smirk on her thin perfect pink lips. "Sorry" I said with a sheepish smile.

"I knew you were gay, S, but I didn't think you were the leather type" Mercedes chuckled.

"Oh shut your gap, I've been totally crushing on Cat Woman ever since I was twelve. I have an imagination. Besides, it's only dreaming. I have something better." I said and nudged Britt. The news of us getting half together had quickly reached Mercedes' ears, but she didn't talk with me about it in details like I'd expected her to. She just shrugged and said that It had to happen someday.

"Nerd" Britt teased and poked me, looking down at me. She'd decided to wear wedges while I was still in flat sandals, which made the height difference very clear. She was almost the same height as Sam. I scowled up at her but my glance softened immediately by the smile she gave me.

"Okay you two, how about we create some separation here, so Britt can think" Mercedes said suddenly and snaked her way between us, holding an arm around each of our waists. I looked over at Britt who grinned and poked at my hand behind Mercedes' back, I grabbed hers and twined our fingers; superb job, M, superb. What is that saying? If I tell you to not think of the color blue, you can't stop thinking about it? Well, telling me to keep away from Britt was kind of the same thing. It made things virtually impossible.

"Hey, you're cheating!" Sugar exclaimed.

"Bite me" I growled at her.

"I can't, you're too far away" Britt said sadly. Why did she want to… Oh. Lovebites. I cleared my throat blushingly, getting her joke. Both Sam and Sugar were laughing hysterically somewhere behind us.

People started to turn left and it turned my attention momentarily from the ground which I was so awkwardly having a staring competition with. When looking up I guess my expression was something between frowning and gaping. My instinct as HBIC told me that this was so uncool and childish, but my instinct as me made me awe a bit. A big white barn had its entire front side peeled out and was now being supported by pillars. On each end of the building two leaf braided canopies the length around 50 feet each, sat perpendicularly on the end of the building forming a horse-shoe shape. In the other end, closing the rectangle was a large wooden stage with a dance floor in front of it and a huge flag pole in the middle of the dance floor. Inside the barn there was like a million people. About 10 people were standing with giant pots boiling pasta and another 10 were making the sauce for it while two persons gave people plates and cutlery. There was what seemed like an endless queue but I must admit they were freaking fast at handing out food to people.


"Best spaghetti ever" Sam said and leaned back on the bench rubbing his stomach and moving the empty plate further towards the middle of the table. Sugar was almost done with hers too and so was Mercedes. Only Britt and I had hardly started. We kept talking, mainly about times I'd gotten Marco into trouble and her talking about her sisters. She had two sisters apparently, a big sister and a little sister. Other than that we kept stealing food from each other's plates instead of eating from our own.

"Come on you two, you're freakishly slow!" Sugar complained. "I wanna get my dance on!" she said and rocked to the tunes of Enrique Iglesias.

"Me too" Britt said and stood up.

"You hardly ate" I protested when she grabbed my wrist and dragged me up as well.

"I'll have some fruit or something when I get home. Come on let's dance" she begged. I laughed slightly when she started bouncing up and down with mere excitement.

"Alright, sweetie, but at least eat one more mouthful" I said. She'd hardly touched her food.

"Yes momma" she whined and leaned down. She took way too much and a few pieces hung from her mouth. I laughed at her as she slurped it into her mouth, chewing. I raised a brow and pointed at her chin giggling, indicating that she had sauce all over her chin. She blushed and wiped it off, well most of it anyway.

"Alright?" she asked.

"Nope, just there" I said and pointed to the corner of her mouth. She wiped the napkin all over her chin and mouth and most of her cheeks fast.

"Let's go now" Britt said and pulled me with her. I smirked at the other three as she pulled me onto the half empty dance-floor. Just then some up-beat Italian song started that seemed to be popular among the locals. It seemed like every young Italian was suddenly around us on the dance floor, dancing like they would in a club to the song. Brittany started swaying her hips to the beat and grinned at me.

"Come on, dance" she urged and took my hands, swinging them from side to side. Slightly bashfully I tried to mirror her rhythm. Suddenly she swung her arms forcing me into a half spin before engulfing me in a hug from behind, forcing me to sway with her as she led the movements of my hips with her own. I blushed slightly at the playful but very close contact. She grinned in my ear, sensing my hesitation, and then let her hands glide across my stomach to rest on my hips. I shuddered. I decided that I might as well get what I could of it and let the music take over. I spun in her grasp again and locked my arms around her neck. She forced me closer, grinning down at me as our movements went from friendly flirty to a bit more than playful. I hesitated again and she sensed it immediately. With one movement she had gripped one of my hands in hers and spun me around. I twirled in her grasp as she led the way into a dance style that was rather unfamiliar for me but also seemed more classic than club-dancing. She twined both of our hands and spun me around first and then herself then stretching her arms as far as they would go, forcing me to press up against her. The song stopped abruptly and changed. As if taken from a movie or something they had to choose the slowest song I knew. The difference was that neither Brittany nor I were shy about it. I merely went back to locking my arms around her neck as she twined hers around the small of my back.

"It's late in the evening, she's wondering what clothes to wear, she puts on her make-up and brushes her long blonde hair" I let one of my hands play with a lock of her hair. She giggled and I felt her breath close to my ear. I couldn't get enough of her, knowing that we would most likely be something. I didn't know what, but as long as she stayed in my life and let me hold her like I did, and as long as she was so close to me that I could feel her breath, I think I'd always be okay. It was so odd how much she meant to me in such short time. I don't think I could ever imagine my life without her now that I'd finally found her. It seemed that somehow I'd always been searching for her, but it'd never been a graspable thought until now, that one could look all their life for someone without knowing it.

"And then she asks me: 'Do I look alright?' And I say: 'Yes, you look wonderful tonight'" We swayed among the other couples, young as well as old. I noticed that Sam and Mercedes were there as well, and Sugar was dancing with some Italian dude. Quite nice catch actually, if it wasn't for me having the absolute top prize in my arms, and the fact that I just thought that boys were pretty from the waist up and no more.

"We go to a party, and everyone turns to see, this beautiful lady that's walking around with me. And then she asks me: 'Do you feel alright' and I say: 'Yes, I feel wonderful tonight'" I felt how Brittany took the lead, leading us from a slow sway to some sort of dance I didn't know. She was very good at teaching it, and just made me go with the footing. "I feel wonderful because I see the love light in your eyes, and the wonder of it all is that you just don't realize how much I love you" I hum to the tune of the music and look up at her. She's staring right into my eyes, her gaze focused. It'd be the perfect moment, right now to just lean up and press my lips to hers, assuring her that we were right, that 'us' was right. But I didn't instead I returned the smile she gave me, and rested my head against her neck, nuzzling it with my nose. I felt her giggle under her breath as she tightened her grip on me, eliminating any air between us. We danced in silence as it ended. When a new song didn't start I loosened my grip on her and looked up at a man standing on the stage. He pronounced that it was now time for the kids to dance.


"How the hell did you get her to do the hokey-pokey with you?" Mercedes asked when we were almost home. Yeah, that one had me tricked too. How the hell did Britt manage to get me to dance to that ridiculous song?

"That's because she's got you whipped from here and all the way back to LA" Sugar chimed and Sam joined in with the sound of a whip.

"I'm not whipped!" I scowled.

"Sure, but the minute she pouts you give her anything she wants" Sugar said.

"That's so not true, she won't let me kiss her" Britt said and gave me one of her ultra pouts. I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

"Wait, you haven't kissed?" Mercedes asked.

"Define kissed" Brittany said with a giggle and a blush.

"This," Mercedes said and reached up to grab Sam around the neck and kiss him hard on the lips, drawing away quickly. "is a kiss."

"Well, it's complicated" Britt said and I snorted. You could say that all right.

"How can it be complicated? It's a simple question: did you kiss, yes or no?" Sugar asked exasperatedly.

"Oh my god, you're already fooling around, aren't you?!" Mercedes exclaimed in shock.

"No!" Both Britt and I yelled and looked at each other. She shrugged at me and I nodded, they we're gonna get it out of us some time or another anyway.

"Well, we haven't kissed like, all couply and everything. But we have… well kissed. Maybe more, but yeah kissed." Britt said, blushing deeply.

"What? You said you weren't fooling around" Sugar looked at us with evident shock.

"We haven't. Look, what Britt means to say is that back when she was drunk because of the whole Nate situation, she decided that I was a reasonable choice for lip-sucking. Making out, no more than that. I swear. Oh and two hickeys, curtsey of miss catfish here. But that was a while ago" I explained. All three gaped at Britt whose face was bright red.

"Nothing to be ashamed about, hun, you're a great kissed. If you weren't I would've probably stopped you, right?" I said and nudged her. Suddenly there was a slap on my arm and I turned to hiss at Mercedes.

"You took advantage of a drunk hurt girl?! Santana!" She scolded.

"Hey, if it had been up to her, she'd have ripped off what little clothes I wore and had her way with me. I stopped her." I defended myself, hands in the air.

"Still, you shouldn't have let her make out with you, she was hurt" Mercedes said.

"It's in the past and frankly I'm glad she did. I would've kissed her even if I wasn't drunk." Brittany shrugged. "She's the reason I broke things up with Nate. Sorry about your spoiled plans by the way, Sug" She looked over at Sugar.

"Oh no, you've just given me an excuse to give that guy a defect jetpack and send him into space. I never liked him anyway. I like you though, Santana" she added to me.

"Hey, hands off. I have dibs on her" Britt said.

"That's what you think" I chuckled. She whacked me on the arm.

"What the fuck, what did my arm ever do to any of you?" I retorted.

"Oh, you want a kiss to make it better?" Britt asked.

"Yes please" I said. She lowered her head towards mine. "Wait, are you ready?"

"I think so" she whispered.

"Nope, you gotz to be sure, babe. I don't do maybes."

"You don't do me at all" she said and scoffed, retreating.

"Oh, don't you worry about that, just hurry up and be sure already, my lips miss the company" I whined. Mercedes whacked my arm and I whacked back while Sam and Sugar laughed and made faces of us.

"My place tonight?" I asked, trying to be considerate to Sugar.

"Sure" she said giggling. I noticed now that we'd reached the apartment village. Sam and Mercedes hugged all of us goodnight before walking hand in hand towards their apartment.

"See ya Sweetie" Britt said and engulfed Sugar in a warm hug. I half expected Sugar to try and hug me too, but I had apparently succeeded in scaring her enough to keep her from trying that.

"Night girls. I feel sorry for your neighbors" she chimed. Britt looked at the ground, blushing slightly.

"Britt" I said. She looked up at me, her cheeks still red.

"I'm sorry for pressuring you… But. You're doing so much better. You're still happy – it seems that way anyway"

"I am, happy I mean"

"That's good. But also, you seem different. Good different, don't get me wrong, but when we danced, you weren't being unnecessarily flirty, it was just right, and you can call Sugar 'Sweetie' without it being flirty and stuff. That's huge progress."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, definitely. I hope I didn't embarrass you or anything; or pressure you too much. It's just, I like you so much, almost too much for my own good it seems, and Britt I've never ever felt like this. I just get… get carried away, you know" I said, looking down at the ground.

"I know. I think, I'm almost ready, almost. I promise, I just need to convince myself that I can do this. But speaking about the name calling"

"Y-yeah?" I asked nervously, almost sure knew what she was thinking off.

"I like what you called me"

"Hun?" I asked, my cheeks reddening visibly.

She leaned down and pressed her lips gingerly to my cheek before whispering in my ear. "babe"

I let out a nervous giggle and fell into her, blushing.

"It sounds good" she whispered and wrapped her arms around me, swaying slightly from side to side.

"I guess I could call you that every now and then" I whispered, almost inaudibly. It was odd being something but without actually being something, but still getting to get kisses on my cheeks and hold her hand and call her babe. It was a state of limbo.


A/N - Thank you so so much for the attention and all of the amazing reviews and messages, you guys are the best! :D

I've been working really hard, juggling both school, homework, piano and training for the thriathalon at the same time and also working on the sroy.

But I did it! And it's because of your sweet reviews, it's all you!

SPECIAL NOTICE - To my angel Liz who faithfully edits every chapter without fail. :)!

SPECIAL NOTICE - To my Emmy, the goofiest clown unicorn I've ever encuntered, who calms me when I stress, who makes me laugh through my tears and who helps me so much with everything regarding the story. You're forever amazing and without you I would've never gotten this far!

Song for this chapter "Open Your Eyes - Snow Patrol" /watch?v=TtAGQTKC89Q

Songs used in this chapter

"Wonderful Tonight - Eric Clapton" /watch?v=xl7Hd2r0LOs