Chapter 12

It was Christmas Eve. Kid looked back at the recent events of his life. Alice had left him. He had never thought that things would end up like this, but now days after she had finally said goodbye, he had to admit that they weren't meant to be. Kid had seen her off the day after their break-up. It had been difficult and awkward to tell her good-bye, but he knew that she was right. They couldn't continue their relationship if he wasn't sure about his feelings. It was true that Louise stirred something in him. He didn't know if it was love or just merely infatuation, so he had to make sure that what he felt for Lou was genuine. He wouldn't like to mess up her life any more.

He stopped his horse and stayed on it for a few minutes, trying to muster the courage that he was lacking right now. After a lapse, he got off the horse and tethered it to a nearby post. He took something from his saddlebags and stomped decidedly towards the house. For a few seconds he hesitated whether to knock, and wondered if he should turn around and leave. After surpassing his initial doubts, he finally pounded on the door firmly. Steps were heard inside, and then the door opened. Louise appeared before him, and her face could not deny that she was more than surprised. "Kid…" she breathed.

Kid smiled awkwardly and his mind raced to find something to say. "Uh … I was wondering … uh, I mean, uh…" He chuckled, feeling like a fool with all his stammering. "Is it too late to accept your invitation to dine with all of you?"

Lou arched her eyebrows wonderingly. "What about your plans?"

Kid hesitated before adding. "Let's say there's been a change of plans."

"I see," Louise said and lowered her eyes. "I'm afraid there's no dinner. I'm on my own."

Kid was baffled. "What happened?"

"Well, seems everyone had other plans too. Buck is spending Christmas with April's folks. Teaspoon had to take some prisoners to Blue Creek. Rachel is sick in bed. My sister won't even talk to me, and my brother is still away." She paused to catch her breath. "Pathetic, ain't I?"

Kid couldn't help but start laughing, and Louise joined in his mirth. Kid voiced a shy "sorry" and Lou just smiled at him, letting him know that he was not angry with him anymore.

They stayed silent for a few awkward moments, and then Kid said, "Louise, it ain't just right to spend Christmas alone." He hesitated a moment and then he added, "You're alone, I'm alone… Why can't we spend Christmas together?"

Lou looked at him suspiciously. "I haven't cooked anything," she protested, though she longed to accept.

"Thank God," Kid joked. Her eyes widened and she feigned to be offended. He laughed blushing. "I mean, we'll make up something. I brought a bottle of wine," he said, showing his present.

She smiled, and shrugged her shoulders in acceptance. They stepped in and headed straight for the kitchen. An hour later they were sitting around the dinner table. With the few things found in Lou's larder, they had prepared a sparse meal: omelettes, vegetables, and boiled potatoes.

"Some meal we have for Christmas!" Lou exclaimed with a grimace.

Kid grinned broadly and said, "It ain't so bad. I like it." For demonstration he took a big bite, and made an appreciative sound. Lou had to chuckled, and Kid smiled, feeling relaxed and contented after the last two days. His smile vanished when he added seriously. "I hope you're not still mad at me."

Louise looked at him straight in the eyes. "We'd better draw a veil over that matter."

"I really don't know why I did something so stupid. I didn't read them, I swear, honestly, Louise … Lou," Kid continued sincerely.

"All right," Lou said with a smile, feeling strangely pleased for the use of her name. "I believe you. Let's forget about it. And now… tell me, what about that change of plans?"

Kid shifted in his seat uncomfortable. "Uh…Alice and I have broken up."

"Oh," Louise let out, not sure what to say about this. "I… I see." They fell silent again and then Louise added, shyly smiling at him, "Well, let's finish this delicious meal."

Kid smiled back. "But first, let's drink to you and me and to Christmas," he said as he poured the red wine. He lifted his glass to her.

"Merry Christmas," Kid said.

Lou grinned and she also exclaimed, "Merry Christmas to you too!" And they clinked their glasses.

The morning sun filtered through the window, casting its light over the room. A single ray fell across Lou's figure spread out on the bed. She reluctantly opened an eye, grunting in the process. Little by little she began to wake up. Yawning, she tried to rise but a sharp pain hit her. She had a splitting headache, which made her wince. Once more she tried to raise her body; this time moving slowly as any single swaying motion made her cringe with pain. Finally, Louise managed to sit up on the edge of the bed, and cursed herself for drinking all that wine last night.

After finishing up Kid's bottle, they had opened another one that she used to keep for visits. Lou was not used to drinking so much, and now she was suffering its effects. A light stir behind her made her turn her head. And then realization struck her like a ton of bricks. She looked aghast at the figure sleeping on her bed.

Memories from the night before came tumbling down. She remembered that she hadn't stopped laughing all the time. Anything he had said had sent her into fits of laugher. She had behaved like a hysterical idiot, and then he had kissed her. Or had it been her doing the kissing? She couldn't remember. Anyway, she remembered that the first kiss had been followed by another and another … She had problems remembering how they had ended up in her bed. Images of his hot kisses, his caresses kept popping up in her mind. It was something that she had desired so much and for so long but this was not the way. It shouldn't have happened under the effects of the alcohol. She wasn't even sure if he had wanted it to happen. Probably not. Neither of them had acted themselves last night. Now she would have to hear his excuses and his regrets.

Another movement behind her made her jump to her feet as though the mattress was on fire. Despite the splitting headache, she stood up in no time. Lou quickly donned her dressing gown over her naked body and fumbled to tie the belt. She stepped out of the bedroom in a flash and trampling down the stairs, she dashed into the kitchen. She needed a strong breakfast.

Louise began frying some eggs as thoughts kept rushing in her mind. She had been a real idiot. She couldn't afford to lose control. This would only bring her more heartache. She wanted to cry in frustration.

She heard somebody clearing his throat behind her, and Louise winced. The last thing she wanted was to face him right now but there was no way out. She turned her head timidly and saw Kid smiling at her. "Merry Christmas," he whispered. He had only his pants on, and Louise inhaled deeply, as her body reacted strongly at the vision of his naked torso. Trying to find a distraction, she turned her attention to the eggs again.

"Merry Christmas," she muttered, and after a moment's pause she asked, "Would you like some eggs?"

"That would be nice," Kid said as he sank down on a chair at the kitchen table. He didn't avert his eyes from her at any time.

They stayed in awkward silence. After a beat Louise decided to talk. She didn't want to prolong the agony any more. Turning around, she began clumsily, "Kid … uh … I know what you're thinking. Uh … We had too much drink … we weren't ourselves last night. I understand." Louise smiled wryly. "Gosh, I hardly remember what happened." She lowered her eyes, not daring to meet his.

Kid rose to his feet and approached her tentatively. "Well," he began, "if you don't remember, I'll have to do something about it." He placed a finger under her chin and tipped her face to him. He lowered his head and kissed her. First tentatively and then he deepened the kiss. After the initial surprise, Lou responded whole-hearted. She wanted to melt in his arms and never let go. She locked her arms around his neck and Kid clumsily fumbled to undo the belt of her dressing gown. Suddenly, she broke the kiss and Kid noticed her pulling away. Lou fought to disengage herself from him. Surprised Kid peered at her eyes. Breathlessly, he stammered, "What?"

Lou stared back at him and muttered, "The eggs." Kid chuckled as he noticed for the first time a burning smell. He rushed to remove the burnt skillet and shoved it into the sink heavily. Then in a flash Kid scooped her up in his arms.

"Let's have something else for breakfast," he said mischievously, and then he directed his steps back to her bedroom.

It had been the best week of all her life. She had never been so happy. They had been together since that night on Christmas Eve and had made love every single day. They had hardly left the bedroom. It felt the same as when they had first got married. Kid had been so caring and tender to her back then, and now he was the same. She couldn't believe that all their problems were over and they were together again. She couldn't stop giggling, she felt so light-hearted. This time nothing would spoil things between them.

That morning they had woken in each other's arms like the few previous days. She rested her head on Kid's chest, feeling his regular and soothing breath. Their hands clasped together lovingly. She lifted her head to meet his eyes and smiled broadly. Kid smiled back and reached to kiss her full on the lips. They broke the kiss and she laid her head on his chest again. Her eyes focused on their joined hands. She had something in her mind and called his name hesitatingly, "Kid?"

"Yes, honey?"

Louise smiled. It still amazed her to hear him using endearments for her. She kept her eyes downcast. Her index finger toyed with his wrist. "You know this thing between you and me …?"

"What thing?" Kid asked, feigning he did not know what she was talking about.

"Please, don't tease me. This is important," Lou said, punching him on the arm.

"All right. I am sorry," he apologized. "Carry on, I'm all ears."

"I think we should keep it secret," Louise said.

Kid had an amused expression on his face. "A bit late for that. I assume that everybody knows that you're my wife. Have you seen that picture on your dressing table? The couple looks familiar to me."

"I am serious," Lou didn't look amused at his remarks. "I mean this new thing between me and you." She began placing tiny kisses on his arm, which made Kid smile pleasantly. "That I like you. That you like me." Then she added seriously. "We shouldn't tell anybody."

"Why?"

Lou lifted her head and shifted to sit up next to him. She looked him straight in the eyes. "Kid, you had no idea who I was nine months ago. I do know what I feel and what I want. But you don't know me, I mean, really know me." Kid wanted to interrupt her but she wouldn't let him. "We have to work on this relationship. Things might get difficult, and I don't want them to get even more complicated by everybody meddling. I know what I'm talking about."

Kid did not like the idea at all. "I don't know, Lou. I'm not sure I can pretend everything's the same. I can't even keep my hands off you."

Lou smiled at him sweetly and stroked his cheek tenderly. "Just for some time. And …" she grinned mischievously, "it can also be fun."

Kid chuckled and cupped her head in his hands. He reached up to kiss her again, first lightly and the more passionately. He wanted her right now. He ran his hands all over her body. He just couldn't get enough of her.

Suddenly he thought he had heard a light knock downstairs. Again there was a knock, this time louder and more persistent. Louise disengaged herself from him and was on her feet and out of his reach in no time. The suddenness of her actions left him speechless. Louise covered herself with the quilt and leaned out of the window. "Coming!" he heard her shouting at whoever was down at the door.

Louise turned toward him in a flash and wheezed, "It's Rachel! Stay here and don't move!"

Lou wrapped her dressing gown over her and before Kid had time to say anything, she was gone. She descended the stairs and opened the door with a big grin plastered in her face. Rachel hugged her in greeting and let herself in. She sank into the settee and motioned for Louise to sit next to her.

"Thank God I've left that bed!" Rachel exclaimed.

Lou realized guiltily that her friend had been sick all week and she hadn't visited even once. She had been so captivated by Kid that she hadn't given any thought to anything or anybody.

"Some Christmas we've had. Me in bed and you here all alone," Rachel added.

Louise blushed, feeling guilty. She shrugged her shoulders in indifference. "It wasn't so bad," she muttered uncomfortably.

Rachel looked at her with curiosity. "Are you all right, Lou? You look kinda flushed and…," Realizing that Louise was wearing her dressing gown she continued, "Were you still in bed at this time of the day? Maybe you've come down with something too."

Lou covered her red cheeks and looked away. "I'm fine. Uh … there's nothing much going on these days. The boys can take care of everything at the ranch, and I was just about to have a bath."

Rachel nodded. She felt that Louise was acting real strange. There was something odd about her but she couldn't put her finger on what it was. Or maybe it was just her imagination. She had been confined to her room for over a week, and the fresh air was making her feel weird. Suddenly, a very light noise coming from upstairs caught her attention. It seemed as if somebody had dropped something. Lou had also heard it and cursed inwardly. She had warned Kid to keep still and she wondered what the heck he was doing.

"Did you hear that?" Rachel asked, lifting her gaze to the ceiling.

"What?" Louise feigned ignorance.

"That noise, upstairs," the older woman explained.

"I didn't hear anything," Lou lied.

"Is there anybody upstairs?" Rachel asked seriously.

"Sure, my lover," Lou said jokingly, praying that Rachel would leave the matter alone. She burst out laughing. "It must have been the wind. I left a window open."

Rachel smiled. It wasn't windy today but she didn't contradict her. Then she added, "Anyway, I've come here for a reason. As we've had no Christmas celebration this year, what do you think if we have a nice Christmas lunch?"

"Today?" Lou panicked.

Rachel nodded. "Teaspoon will be here any time. We can't go without a little celebration this year. I'll cook and …"

"No!" Louise blurted out, getting a confused look from her friend. "I mean … uh," Louise fumbled to find an excuse. She had to find a way of getting rid of Rachel. Kid couldn't stay locked in the bedroom all day. "Rachel, I'm afraid I can't today." She rose to her feet and turned away from Rachel's inquisitive eyes.

"Why not?" the older woman asked. She got up and stood next to Louise. "You said that there was nothing much going on at the ranch."

Louise smiled wryly. "Uh…," her mind raced to find the right excuse. "The house is in a mess and with Buck and Kid gone, there's still things to do. Somebody has to keep an eye on the place." She came to Rachel, and hooking her arm around hers, she began steering her friend towards the door. "We can do it tomorrow. We'll have the nicest time." Nervous, she was now practically pushing Rachel and, before the woman could say anything, they had reached the front door. Louise opened it for her friend and with one final push, Rachel was out of the house. "Thank you for coming, Rachel," Lou said. "See you tomorrow."

Rachel heard the door slam close behind her. "What had that been?"Rachel mused. Louise had practically thrown her out of the house. She had acted really strange. Rachel shrugged her shoulders and began to move away from Lou's house, determined to have a chat with Louise as soon as possible.

Inside Lou let out a relieved sigh. She knew that Rachel would be wondering why she had behaved like a complete idiot. She felt guilty for keeping secrets from her best friend, but she needed some breathing space for Kid and herself. She couldn't have people wondering and guessing if things would work out for them this time. This was her calling, and she wanted Kid just for herself without any meddling. If she was bound to make mistakes, then let it be. She wouldn't have any interference, not this time.

Lou thought back to Rachel's visit some minutes ago. She chuckled as she remembered her friend's expression and her own clumsy words. "It can be fun," she said out loud as she climbed the stairs towards her love.