**Joan's POV**

It had been 3 weeks since Madison left. Arthur and I had returned back to reality, working hard and trying to shorten our hours, even with the added task of screening applicants. We had until we got back from the holidays to decide, but that day was fast approaching. Thanksgiving had been last week, and our scheduling at the CIA was different than most jobs. Since Arthur and I celebrated Christmas and I was pregnant, we were taking off the week surrounding Christmas and New Year's. We would come back early January, and that's when the decision had to be made. It was scary to think that by then I would only have 3 months left before the baby was born. At our doctor's appointment 2 weeks ago, told us our "happy, healthy baby girl" was due April 13. It was exciting and scary all at once.

The one thing Arthur and I didn't have together yet was name. I laughed to myself thinking of Thanksgiving, which ended up being the strangest holiday I had ever experienced. Auggie had invited us to his place for a low-key, takeout dinner. Auggie and I had become very close friends in the last few months, and the idea of spending time with him and Arthur on Thanksgiving, just relaxing, was perfect. The night had ended up being us plus Annie, whose sister, nieces, and brother-in-law had gone out of state to visit the brother-in-law's family. We found ourselves eating Chinese food at 5 pm, Auggie and Arthur a little drunk, and everyone pitching in name ideas for the baby. Annie had suggested Roxanne, and Auggie suggested Serena, which I actually quite liked. Arthur had said something about how her middle name should be Henry Wilcox, and that's when I knew I would be driving us home. It had been a wonderful holiday overall, but now it was back to work. On Monday, Arthur had called Annie and Auggie to my office and half-jokingly threatened to sell them to terrorists if they told anyone they witnessed the DCS getting drunk on Thanksgiving. Auggie had said," I didn't see anything," and that made us all collapse into fits of laughter.

I ended my little walk down recent memory lane and rolled onto my other side. It was almost 9 am, but I was still lying in bed in a pair of flannel pajamas, wrapped up in blankets. It was the middle of winter in Virginia right now, and I was never one for freezing cold snowy weather. Arthur sat next to me, reading an applicant file. He looked down and saw that I was awake, and smiled. Leaning down so his face was level with mine, he gave me a kiss.

"Good morning, honey."

"Good morning."

"Whose file are you reading?," I asked, slowly sitting up in bed.

"Jai Wilcox."

"You're kidding. Do we really want to go down that road, Arthur?," I asked incredulously.

"That was my first thought, but if you think about it, he's a good fit. He's smart, experienced, and everyone in the DPD respects him. And he resents his father, which is a plus."

I thought about Arthur's reasoning. "And we would have Annie and Auggie to keep him grounded."

Arthur nodded. "I trust Jai, and as much as you might want to deny it, so do you."

"Ok," I agreed. "I'll think about it." I got out of bed and opened the closet doors, pulling out red maternity dress. I held it in my hands but didn't put it on, I just stood in font of the closet as if I was frozen. Arthur came up behind me and kissed my neck.

"Everything okay honey?"

"Mhhmm, yeah," I nodded, turning around and kissing him on the lips passionately. "I just… I just want you to know that I love you. More than anything."

"I love you too," he said, hugging me close to him. "Now let's go to work and make it through these next few weeks so we can have a relaxing holiday."

"Ok," I said, but I didn't move. I just couldn't, I didn't want to move. Truthfully, I was exhausted. Thinking of a whole day of work ahead of me made me feel like hoping back in bed and staying there. For what might have been the first time, I didn't want to go to work.

"Joan?" Arthur stared into my eyes, and I found myself looking back into his deep blue eyes. I wanted to get lost in those eyes.

"Are feeling alright, honey?"

"I'm fine, Arthur, but…" I hesitated. I would sound crazy to Arthur. As long as he had known me, I always on time or early to work, very driven and passionate about my job.

"But what?," He said gently. "You can tell me."

"I don't want to go to work. I'm exhausted….. I know I said I could do it, but-" I broke off, choking back a few tears that had come out of nowhere. "It's too much pressure, I just can't."

Arthur looked surprised and speechless. "Joan, honey-"

I cut him off. "I know, I know, I said I could do it. Maybe I'm just not strong enough."

I was crying now. I didn't recognize myself anymore. Crying? Feeling like work was too much pressure? This woman was the complete opposite of the one I knew six months ago. I let go of Arthur and sat down on the bed, wrapping my arms around myself and trying to stop the tears. Arthur sat down next to me and put his arm around me.

"Joan, you are the strongest woman I know. You're pregnant, not weak. This is part of being pregnant."

I looked at him sadly, wiping a few tears from my eyes. "But I feel weak. I don't even know who I am anymore. I'm completely different than the woman I was six months ago."

"No you're not, sweetheart. You are the strong, sexy, driven woman I married. You're just going through a little emotional bump in the road. You'll get through it. We'll get through it together."

I smiled and wiped away the rest of my tears. "Really?"

He kissed my forehead. "Yes."

An hour later, Arthur and I entered the DPD hand in hand. When we got to my office, I let go of his hand to smooth my red maternity dress. He gave me a quick kiss and whispered," You can do it. I love you."

I had only been sitting at my desk for a few minutes before Annie came in.

"Good morning, Joan. How are you feeling?"

"Fine," I said. I looked at Annie suspiciously. "Why?"

"Just wondering," she said with a smile. She turned and left the room, calling out, "Let me know if you need anything!" as she left. I went over emails for an hour, moving the picture of me and Arthur on my desk into my eyesight to keep myself calm. I peered through my glass wall to see Jai at his desk, working diligently. I thought about what Arthur said this morning, then picked up my phone.

"Joan? Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine, honey." Why did everyone act like I was so fragile? "I was just thinking about what you said about jai this morning. I think we should give him the position. I could start training him now, which would make me more relaxed. It would be nice to know someone can cover me if I have another day like this morning."

"That's a fantastic idea. I'll run in by the DNI and then come down to your office so we can tell Jai."

"Great. See you soon."

"Ok, love you."

I hung up the phone and went back to my emails. 15 minutes later, Auggie entered my office.

"Hey, Joan."

"Auggie! You can't tell, but I'm smiling right now," I informed him. I got up and guided him to the couch, then sat next to him.

"Is this an impostor? I've never heard Joan this joyful, especially without coffee."

I laughed. "Truth be told, I did not want to come to work today. It's just nice to see you."

Now he laughed. "And I've never heard you make a joke like that, either. Are you feeling ok?"

"Yes!," I said exasperatedly. "Why does everyone assume I'm crazy or going into labor or something equally serious? 10 minutes after I got here this morning, Annie came in just to ask how I was feeling."

Auggie turned in my general direction and felt for my hand. I slipped it into his and he squeezed it. "Because we care about you and we don't want any more scares."

I bit my lip. Arthur had told Auggie about my fainting episode on thanksgiving, when he was a little less drunk, and Annie must have told him about me getting and going home early a few weeks ago. I didn't care that he knew. Auggie was a very close friend, and I appreciated everything nice thing he did for me. My eyes teared up.

"Thanks, Auggie," I choked, giving him a hug.

"Whoa, keep it in your pants, Joan. God, you pregnant women really are hormonal," he joked, and we laughed. He hugged back and we sat in silence for a few minutes, neither one of us ready to let go. There was a knock on the door, and Auggie let go.

"Come in!"

Arthur entered the room with a smile and his face that turned to confusion when he saw Auggie on the couch and my face stained with tears.

"What's wrong?"

"I tell Joan we care about her, and she starts to blubber. I gotta be more careful around pregnant women, Arthur," Auggie said, getting up. Arthur laughed as he closed the blonds on my glass walls. He walked over to me and put his arm around me, then kissed the top of my head.

"I wouldn't ask you to leave, Auggie, but we have to go into matters above your clearance level."

"It's ok, Arthur, I have some work to do. Hang in there, Joan."

Once we were alone, I kissed him frantically, pulling him over to the couch. He kissed back, and pulled me closer to him. We kissed for a few minutes before coming up for air.

I panted," Sorry…. I just really missed you." Arthur laughed and grinned. "It's ok."

We both straightened out our clothes, and I smoothed my hair, which I had straightened and left down today.

"So what did the DNI say?"

"He thinks it's a wonderful idea, he agrees that Jai will do a fine job and not let his father influence him."

I smiled. "Great. I'll go get him."

I walked outside of my office and surveyed the DPD, looking for Jai. I spotted him leaned against Annie's desk with that flirtatious look in his eyes and laughed to myself. Then I put on a straight face and yelled, "Jai!" he looked up and I motioned for him to come with me. He crossed the desk-filled area and joined me, following me into my office where Arthur stood near my desk. The room was silent for a moment, and then Arthur spoke.

"Jai, as you know we are currently in the process of finding someone to replace Joan for the few months she is on maternity leave. We feel you may be a good fit to run the DPD during that time."

Jai's face had an expression of pleasant surprise. He reached and shook Arthur's hand, then mine.

"Thank you, I greatly appreciate this opportunity."

I smiled. "Starting next week, you'll be working with me part of the day, training, if you will. If we feel you're a good fit, we will make it official in January."

Jai nodded, and walked towards the office door.

"Jai," Arthur said. "We trust you. Don't let us be wrong."

Jai nodded and closed the door. Although Arthur hadn't said, we all knew it was implied that Jai keep his father at arm's length during this time. His influence could only damage the DPD, and we didn't need any more of that.

I walked a few steps to Arthur and rest my head on his shoulder. He kissed my cheek.

"Why don't we rally and try to get home by 6?"

"Sounds perfect."


Sorry this chapter was a bit short but I've hit a bit of a writer's block. Please PLEASE review with feedback and ideas on what you want to see next!