Elizabeth stared, horrified, as Barbossa picked up a bottle of rum with his skeleton hand. He pulled out the cork with his teeth, spat it out, and then poured the liquid into his open mouth. The red liquid splattered across his ribs, just like blood.
Elizabeth had taken enough. She dashed past the skeleton pirate captain and back into the cabin. Behind her, she heard the rum bottle smash against the wood, the doors slam shut, and the horrible laughter of the crew of pirates.
Hunching against a chest of drawers in Barbossa's cabin, Elizabeth whimpered in fright. Sleep would not come very easily to her that night.
Slowly, the sun rose across the cold landscape. It rose across the approaching glaciers and snow, it rose over the river, and it rose over the ruins of the fortress.
And it also rose on a stirring woolly mammoth.
Manfred yawned quietly. He had been having strange dreams that night, about skeletons and ghostly ships in the fog. 'But then again, everybody has strange dreams. Once, I had a dream about the world being dominated by humans! That'll never happen.'
He shifted his trunk sleepily, trying to feel Roshan.
The baby wasn't there!
Manfred woke up with a start. His brain worked quickly. 'Jack Sparrow and Will Turner, they're off to get a crew with that new human.' His suspicion quickly turned to the sabre-tooth tiger. 'I don't trust him at all. If he laid a claw on that baby…'
STOMP! STOMP!
Diego woke up to two huge footsteps. Jumping up, he saw Manfred the mammoth glaring down at him.
"Where's the baby?" Manfred demanded.
"You lost it?" Diego yelled back.
Manfred blinked, realising that Diego was innocent. 'Then who…?'
Both animals looked to Sid's empty rock, and came to the same conclusion at the same time.
"SID!"
"Ooh, isn't it ugly?" said Rachel, a thin, blonde, attractive female sloth, as she stroked Roshan's fat cheek. "Positively adorable!"
"Hello, pumpkin pie!" cooed Jennifer, a thickset, dark-furred sloth. "Hello, little baldy bean!"
Sid was revelling in the attention he was receiving from the two beautiful lady sloths. He wasn't normally a very popular guy, but now that he had the baby…he was like the sloth king!
"Where did you get it?" asked Rachel, her blonde hair bobbing as she leaned towards Sid.
The male sloth put on a dramatic face and tone of voice. "Ah, the poor kid, all alone in the wild. Sabres were closing in on him…so I just dove in and snatched him up!"
"Oh, how brave!" sighed Jennifer in an admiring voice.
"Well, he needed me," sighed Sid, acting flirty, "and I only wish I had one of my own, too…"
"Really?" gasped Rachel. "You know, I find that attractive in a male!"
"Who wouldn't want a family? That's what I always say," Sid added.
"Where have you been hiding?" asked Jennifer, touching the male sloth on the shoulder.
Sid blushed. "Well…you know…"
Suddenly, Roshan slipped under the mud. Gasping, Sid groped around in the hot mud and lifted the baby, now coated in brown mud, back onto his lap.
Roshan squealed happily, and splashed Sid in the face with mud.
"Cute kid, huh?" the sloth spluttered. He reached down out of the mud pool, felt around for something to wipe his face with, and grabbed a sturdy mammoth's trunk. He used the furry trunk to wipe the mud off his face. "So, as I was saying, ladies…"
Suddenly he realised who the trunk belonged to. The sloth looked up to see Manfred glaring down at him.
"Oh, hey! Uh…hey, Manny!"
Manfred shook the mud off his trunk. "What is wrong with you?" he growled, picking Roshan off Sid's lap and carrying the muddy baby away.
Sid started out of the pool. "Excuse me, ladies. You keep marinating in there, and I'll be right back."
The male sloth finally flopped out of the pool. With a final flirty whisper of "sexy," he dashed after the mammoth.
Jennifer looked at Rachel. "You know, he's not much to look at, but it's so hard to find a family guy like that."
"Tell me about it," Rachel replied. "All the sensitive ones get eaten."
"Feast your eyes, Captain!" Joshamee Gibbs announced, waving a hand at the rag-tag group of pirates. "All of 'em faithful hands before the mast, every man worth his salt, and crazy to boot.
Will looked at the pirates, leaning against the walls of the mud pools. Each and every one was different. One was a tall black man wearing only some tar-coated sailor's pants. Another was a scruffy man with a grey birds-nest beard. One man, with a curly goatee, only came up to Will's thigh.
"So this is your able bodied crew?" Will asked uncertainly to Jack.
Captain Jack Sparrow didn't seem to hear him. He was looking each crew member up and down, muttering to himself.
Finally, he came to an old man in a faded purple bandanna, with a bright blue parrot on his shoulder.
"You, sailor!" Jack barked.
"Cotton, sir. Mr Cotton," Gibbs corrected.
"Mr Cotton," Jack continued, "do you have the courage and fortitude to follow orders and stay trim in danger and almost certain death?"
Cotton didn't reply.
"Mr Cotton! Answer, man!"
"He's…he's a mute, sir," sighed Gibbs. "Poor devil had his tongue cut out some years back."
Cotton opened his mouth wide to reveal several dirty teeth…and only the back of the tongue.
"He's trained the parrot to talk for him, though," Gibbs continued. "No-one's yet figured how."
Jack Sparrow turned to the parrot. "Mr Cotton's parrot…same question."
"AWK! Wind in your sails, wind in your sails! AWK!" the parrot squawked.
"Mostly, we figure that means 'yes'," Mr Gibbs explained.
"Course it does," muttered Jack. Then he turned to Will. "See that?"
"Well, it proves they're all mad," whispered Will back.
Suddenly, an all too familiar voice called out from the end of the long line. "What's in it for us?"
It was a woman's voice!
Jack looked around to the end of the line. He could see a blurred silhouette in the steam of a hot mud pool. The pirate slowly stepped closer to the steamy spa, until finally he could see the person.
The person wore a large leather hat, covering their face and masking their identity. However, there was something familiar about the person.
Carefully, Captain Jack Sparrow lifted the hat up and off the face of a dark haired, brown-eyed woman…
"Anamaria," Jack grinned.
Anamaria lifted a mud-soaked hand out of the mud pool and slapped Jack on the face. Hard.
WHAP!
"I suppose you didn't deserve that?" Will smirked.
"No. That one, I deserved," Jack mumbled, shaking the mud off his cheek.
"You stole my boat!" snarled Anamaria, glaring angrily at the pirate captain.
"Actually..."
WHAP!
"…actually, I borrowed," continued Jack, rubbing his aching cheek. "Borrowed, without permission, but with every intention of bringing it back!"
"But you did not!"
"You'll get another one!" said Jack hurriedly, not wanting to get slapped again.
"I will!" snapped Anamaria, brandishing her hand threating.
Will Turner stepped to Jack's side. "A better one!" he added helpfully.
"A better one!" repeated Jack Sparrow happily.
"That one!" Will pointed at the Interceptor, tied up at the bank.
Jack whipped around to face Will. "What one?"
William merely inclined his head at the ex-navy brig.
"That one?" snapped Jack Sparrow to Will Turner. Will nodded.
Everybody looked from the Interceptor back to Jack and Anamaria.
Finally, Jack smiled at Anamaria. "Aye! That one! What say you to that?"
"Aye!" shouted Anamaria.
"AYE!" chorused the rest of the crew, and they all trooped towards their new ship. Cotton's parrot screeched, "Weigh the anchor!" as they went.
Anamaria stood up, and climbed out of the mud pool. Shaking the mud out of her clothes, she followed the rest of the motley crew. As she passed Jack, she raised her hand to slap him.
Jack flinched back.
Anamaria laughed, and used her hand to put her hat back on.
Mr Gibbs hurried up to Jack Sparrow. "No, no, no, no, no! Its frightful bad luck to bring a woman on board, sir!"
"Worse luck not to bring her," Jack muttered. "Worse luck to bring a baby, a sabre, a sloth, and a mammoth."
"Speaking of which, where are they?" Will asked.
"Wait, wait, wait! Manny!" Sid yelled as he raced after the mammoth. He skidded to a stop in front of him. "Manny, please, I'm begging you! I need him!"
Manfred snorted. "What, a good looking guy like you?"
Sid could sense the sarcasm in the mammoth's voice. "You say that, but you don't really mean it, do you?"
"No, no, I'm serious. Those poor ladies. They don't stand a chance."
'He's teasing me,' Sid thought angrily. "You have a cruel sense of humour, do you know that?"
"Hey!" Manfred laughed. "Don't let me cramp your style!"
Sid took it the wrong way. He snatched Roshan out of Manfred's trunk. "Thanks Manny. You're the best!"
"Without Pinky!" Manfred grunted, snatching Roshan back from Sid's arms and stomping off in the opposite direction.
"No, Manny, wait! I need him!" Sid cried, but it was too late.
'Aw, fine. I can just do it by myself,' the sloth thought. 'In fact, I can think of some good things to say!'
Feeling giddy with luck, Sid skipped back to the mud pool, unaware that he was heading the wrong way. He smoothed down his fur and hopped back into the mud. "So, ladies," he lisped. "Where were we?"
Suddenly, two large shapes materialised out of the mist. They were too large to be the two sloth ladies. 'This can't be good.'
"Carl?" growled a voice.
"Easy, Frank," sneered another.
Then the rhino heads of Carl and Frank emerged out of the steam.
"AAAAAAAAAAH!" Sid screamed.
"So a pretty tail walks by, and suddenly that sloth moves like a cheetah!" Manfred commented as he walked along with Roshan in his trunk. "And that sabre. Yeah, super-tracker can't even track a sloth. You'd think it would be pretty easy."
The mammoth placed the baby on the branch of a nearby tree.
Roshan cooed happily, waving his arms about at Manfred.
"What am I, the wet nurse?" Manfred complained. "What are you looking at, bone bag?"
He snorted. "Look at you, kid. You're going to grow up to be a terrifying predator. Ha! I don't think so! All you've got is a tuft of fur on your hair," (Manfred pulled Roshan's short black hair), "no fangs, no claws," (he looked inside Roshan's toothless mouth and at his fingernails) "so all you are is folds of skin wrapped in mush. What's so threatening about you?"
Roshan watched this creature's big brown trunk wave back and forth in front of his eyes. He thought it was very interesting and funny. He reached up with his arms and grabbed the trunk.
It felt very much like his mother's warm robes, when she had been hugging him. He held on tight to the trunk, eyes closed and a smile on his face.
As Roshan hugged Manfred's trunk, the mammoth remembered something. The happiest memories of his life so far. And also, now, the saddest.
Tears welled up in the mammoth's eyes, as he remembered the scene. Then, quickly, he shook himself out of his daze.
"Hey, do you think this is the petting zoo, huh?"
Roshan slipped off Manfred's trunk and plopped back down onto the tree…pulling out some of the mammoth's trunk hairs as well.
"Ow!" Manfred yelped.
He glared at the baby. "Alright, wise guy. You just earned yourself a time out!"
The mammoth picked up Roshan with his trunk and placed him higher up on the tree. The baby toppled upside down.
But Roshan was not alarmed. In fact, he loved this new perspective of the world. He giggled excitedly.
"Oh, so you think that's funny?" Manfred growled, but the anger had gone out of his voice now. Still, he picked up the baby again, and placed him on the highest branch of the tree. "You'll be a little snack for the owls."
Roshan continued to laugh, clapping his hands happily as the branch bent up and down.
Manfred couldn't help but smile. 'Babies. Innocent, cute little things, with no sense of danger at all. I like this kid.'
"You're a brave little squirt. I'll give you that."
Sid dashed away from the rumbling of the rhino's footsteps. 'Why, oh why do these things always happen to me?' he asked himself in his head.
The sloth sprinted around a mesa…and almost ran into Diego.
"Oh thank goodness, thank goodness," Sid gasped.
"Where's the baby?" the sabre demanded.
"He's fine, Manfred's got him. Now, please, Diego, put me in your mouth!"
Quickly, Sid put on a frightened expression. "Oh noooooo! A tiger! HELP! HELP!"
"Why do I want to do that?" Diego asked suspiciously.
"Pretend you're mauling me to death. Come on, roar, kitty cat! Roar!"
"Meow," said the sabre in a bored voice.
"Come on, Diego!" pleaded the sloth. Then he turned dramatic again. "Oooooooh! He got me! Ohhhhhh, help!"
The sabre-tooth tiger snarled. "Get away from me!" Then he turned and loped off.
Sid looked towards the mesa. He could now hear the rhino's angry voices, yelling, "We're coming for you, sloth!"
There was now no other option. Sid rushed after Diego and kicked his left back leg. Very hard.
"ROOOAR!"
Diego growled, and lunged towards Sid.
Then Carl and Frank raced around the corner and screeched to a stop.
Sid played dead, turning limp in Diego's jaws.
One of the rhino's moaned. "Awwww! Carl! The tiger beat us to him!"
But Diego could see that Carl was suspicious. "Wait a minute, Frank."
The large rhino stomped towards the sabre. Diego flinched away slightly. 'If they find out he's still alive…I'll be trampled…and the curse doesn't stop pain.'
Sniff…sniff sniff…
"Uuugh!" the rhino growled. "He's dead alright." Carl turned around and headed back around the mesa with Frank.
"Carnivores have all the fun!" Frank shouted in annoyance as the rhinos disappeared around the cliff.
Sid slowly lifted his head. "Gosh, I hate hurting their feelings like that, but you know how it is."
He tried to pull his head out of Diego's jaws. But Diego was not letting go. 'You kicked my back leg, sloth. You'll have to pay!'
"Okay, Diego, you can let me go now!" Sid said.
The sabre growled in response.
Sid tried to pull himself out of the tiger's jaws one more time.
"MANNY!" he choked. "MANNY!"
Suddenly, Manfred came around the corner, Roshan sitting on his poofy top-knot of fur.
"Guys, I thought we were in a hurry!" the mammoth said loudly. "The ship's about to leave!"
Then he turned to Diego. "I would recommend you spit the sloth out. You don't want to know where it's been."
Diego's eyes widened. 'YUCK!' Quickly, he dropped Sid on the ground.
"Come on!" Manfred sighed, and headed towards the Interceptor.
Sid massaged his throat as he laid on the ground. "You know, Diego, I thought you were actually going to eat me!"
"I don't eat junk food," replied Diego coolly, and he loped after the mammoth.
Sid laughed. "Ha! I thought you were going to…I thought you were…Were you?"
