And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to Fix You
"This is why you left?" Chuck asked, being the first one to react to the Gossip Girl post. "This is what Humphrey had on you?"
"Yes," Serena whispered taking another step back as he stood.
Nate stood as well but he just stared at her, his mouth moved a couple of times but he couldn't form the words to say to her so he just ended up staring at her.
"How dare you," Blair exploded from behind Chuck. She was still looking at her screen when the boys spoke or tried to speak to Serena. "How dare you come here and act like you were the one who was hurt."
"Blair," Serena started but Blair held her hand up and shook her head.
"I thought that you left the city because I kicked you out of the penthouse," Blair said taking a step forward and Serena immediately took a step back, Chuck raised an eyebrow at Blair. "Before you left with Dan I started to feel guilty for it because you were my best friend and you really didn't mean to let Gossip Girl see those diary posts."
"I didn't," Serena said shaking her head.
"But you did manage to sleep with another one of my boyfriends," Blair said rolling her eyes. "That was intentional, you said so yourself, you knew how much that would hurt me."
"I did it to help you," Serena screamed with tears in her eyes.
"Blair shut up," Chuck snapped when he saw Blair open her mouth to retortand Blair glared at him. "Serena, that wasn't something you needed to hide from us."
"Apparently I did," Serena said biting her lip and shrugging as she looked at Blair. "I was supposed to tell you before Dan released it to Gossip Girl," her eyes landing on Nate because he wasn't meant to find out like this.
"This isn't something you'd run away from," Nate finally said finding his voice and avoiding her eyes. "Just this video?"
"There's more," Chuck said taking his eyes of Blair and back to Serena.
"Of course there's more, there's always more," Blair spat out and Serena blinked back the tears that stung her eyes as she looked away from Nate. "Just like last time when she thought she killed a guy, who did you kill this time?"
"Blair," both Nate and Chuck said warningly at the same time and she huffed at them, crossing her arms and choosing to stare at Serena.
"I didn't kill anyone," Serena said shaking her head and taking yet another step back so she was pressed up against the wall and looked at Blair. "You wouldn't take my calls or even acknowledge me when I came to see you and apologize, you just said it was better when I was gone, Dan told me that he was thrilled that our parents were getting divorced so he never had to see me again and I just had to leave."
"Serena stop running away from us," Chuck said walking forward to her but stopped when she pressed herself further back into the wall.
"I'm sorry I have to," Serena said slipping into the elevator and breathing out a tiny sigh of relief when no-one followed her in.
"You told her it was better when she was gone?" Chuck asked angrily turning to Blair.
"She gave Gossip Girl my deepest most true thoughts, she tried to vilify my relationship with Dan so she could have him and would you look at that, she manipulated him to being with her," Blair said waving her phone in the air. "What did you expect me to do?"
"I didn't think you'd lie," Chuck said, he was trying to keep himself calm but inside he was seething, he was blaming Dan for Serena's disappearance and the fear that came with not being able to track her down with all his resources but he can't only blame Dan, Blair was part of the reason his sister left and she couldn't see how badly it damaged the blond.
"I didn't lie Chuck, if Serena hadn't done what she did, if she hadn't tried to be a good Gossip Girl none of my secrets would have made it onto Gossip Girl," Blair said trying to get him to see it from her point of view instead of protecting his precious sister. "And then she had the audacity to tell me that I hadn't grown up because I still couldn't tell you I loved you, I was angry and I had every right to be."
"She was right, you haven't grown up Blair," Chuck roared and Blair took a step back and looked at him shocked, this wasn't the reaction she was expecting from him. "Nobody cared what you wrote in your diaries, the public probably had a field day but we knew how you felt, Serena, Nate and I, we knew all your secrets because we know you, we were the only one's whose opinions you should have considered."
"Chuck, I-"
"And you know what the worst part is," Chuck said and Blair swallowed hard.
"What's the worst part?" she asked softly.
"If those diary posts hadn't come out or Serena hadn't fought you on the fact that you were too scared to be with me, you would probably still be with Humphrey, trying to keep up your charade," Chuck said shaking his head.
"I wouldn't have," Blair said stepping forward to touch his arm. "Chuck, I don't have any feeling's for him, I love you, with or without Serena, I would have fought for you."
"Really Blair, did you notice your reaction at all when you saw the Gossip Girl blast?" Chuck asked. "Because if I remember correctly, when that happened you came to tell me that you were in love with me and you and Humphrey were over."
"I am not wrong here, he was still my boyfriend when she had sex with him," Blair countered. "All she did that night was betray me."
"If anything she helped you, she did it to stop your private thoughts from being aired to the world, so stop acting like a child and apologize to her," Chuck said staring at her, he knew she had too much pride to apologize but he could try and make her see her faults and how much it hurt the way she reacted to Serena and Dan. The elevator dinged in the background breaking Chuck's concentration. "Nathaniel?"
"He's gone," Blair says pulling out her phone.
Chuck looked at his phone as well to see a Gossip Girl blast, he opened it and clenched his jaw. "Shit," he mumbled, what else could go wrong today?
Spotted Serena van der Woodsen running straight into Lonely boy's arms, why the long face S?
"Where are you going?" Blair asked watching as he grabbed his coat and headed for the elevator.
"To find Nathaniel and possibly Serena," Chuck said. "I'd advise you to stay away from me until you've figured out what you want."
"Hey Nate," Dan said when he saw his friend walk into the loft. Nate grunted as he brought up his fist to punch Dan in his face. "What is it with you Upper East Side people," Dan muttered, first Chuck now Nate.
"You slept with her?" Nate asked grabbing Dan by his jacket and pinning him against the wall. "You slept with her?"
"Nate…," Dan tried but Nate just shook him and he shut up.
"What the hell where you thinking man?" Nate asked letting him go and stepping away. "How could you?"
"It wasn't like that," Dan said getting irritated and Nate raised an eyebrow. "You can't say anything to me when you did exactly the same thing I did when you were fifteen."
Dan looked like he was going to say more but he was pinned to the wall again by Nate. "Don't ever compare me to you, Serena and I were kids and we were drunk, man, the both of you were barely tipsy, you had full control over what you were doing, you knew you were cheating on Blair with her best friend."
"So what you're going to blame what happened with you on alcohol?" Dan asked almost taunting. "Fine I knew what I was doing but you can't even admit to the fact that you willingly cheated on Blair with Serena."
Nate's hands were in fists and he was shaking with rage, "I've never blamed what I did on alcohol but it played a huge role in acting on feelings that I wouldn't have acted on if I were sober," he growled through clenched teeth. "What happened with Serena was not meant to hurt Blair but you, you are a work of art Dan, Blair stops paying attention to you so you play her and Serena against each other, you hurt them both in the worst way and you knew exactly what you were doing."
"I didn't …" Dan began again and Nate cut him off pushing his arm harder against Dan's neck to stop him from speaking.
"You did, Serena still loved you and you knew it but you loved Blair and when Blair didn't return that love you used Serena to make her pay," Nate said and Dan rolled his eyes. "The one thing that tore Blair and Serena apart before was when she found out about her best friend and her boyfriend and you thought it would have the same effect this time but you didn't stop there you made sure Serena felt absolutely worthless before you left."
"Oh please Nate I'm not an Upper East Sider," Dan said touching the sore skin close to his eye.
"No you aren't," Nate said shaking his head. "You're worse than you ever think we'll be, you blackmailed Serena into being with you so … what? I don't even know why you blackmailed her."
"Georgina and I thought …"
"You listened to Georgina?" Nate asked throwing his arms up. "What happened to you?"
"Serena is the reason Blair and I are over, she's the reason I cheated," Dan said. "This was revenge."
"Revenge," Nate repeated and rubbed his hand on his forehead. "You idiot, I don't care how far Georgina is willing to go to help you, I will destroy you."
"You aren't like that Nate," Dan said raising an eyebrow. "Somebody could try to kill you and you would eventually forgive them."
"I wouldn't," Chuck smirked from the door. "Nathaniel may be too good but I don't care about the consequences of ruining your life."
"Congratulations, you just lost your only remaining friend," Nate said turning away from Dan and walking out. "Let's go, Serena didn't come here with him."
"Do you know where she is?" Chuck asked following Nate.
"I think I have an idea," Nate said pinching the bridge of his nose.
"I'll drop you off," Chuck said. "Then I'm going to make sure no-one ever see's Humphreys new book or anything else he may write in the future."
Nate found Serena exactly where he thought he would, in her room at her mother's apartment, or her apartment now. She was sitting on the floor against the bed looking out into the city through the sliding doors that led to her balcony. Nate sunk down to the floor beside her.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, she sounded exactly like she did when he found her in the dumps of LA and his chest tightened, it was not how he ever wanted to hear her speak again.
"You were upset," Nate said moving closer so he was right there if she needed to lean on him. "I needed to make sure you were ok."
"You're always taking care of me," Serena said smiling and turning her face into the fabric of his shirt.
Nate took that as a cue to put his arm around her and breath out a sigh of relief that she isn't flinching every time he touches her. "Well somebody has to."
"I'm broken," she whispered sobbing into his chest, her tears were the most honest and heartbreaking thing he'd ever had to experience.
"You're leaving again?" he asked eyeing the open, half packed suitcase in the corner of the room.
"I can't be here, I'll just make things worse," she said.
"No you won't," Nate assured her, rubbing her arms as he held her.
"I made a sex tape," Serena said shaking her head and Nate shrugged.
"I'm willing to bet it's not the first," he joked and she smiled.
"Natie," she complained teasingly about his bad joke before being serious again. "I thought he loved me, God I am so stupid."
"You're not stupid," Nate said nudging her with his shoulder. "He's just … not the person we all thought he was."
"I should have come back for you," Serena said and Nate froze, causing Serena to panic. It was the one thing she was thinking about since the kiss, when she first came back to New York, if she just admitted that she wanted to be with him then Dan would never have entered the picture, she and Blair would have been at war but eventually she and Chuck would have become a couple and their lives would have had less drama.
"Serena …" Nate started and stopped, he didn't know how to respond to that, he'd been waiting for so long to hear her say that and now that she has all those years he spent pining after her, their short lived relationship all of it felt like it had some sort of meaning, like he wasn't just doing it on blind faith. Instead of saying anything though Nate just leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her head.
"I really didn't mean for you to find out about the sex tape the way you did," Serena said after she realized what she said wasn't going to cause him to scream at her. "I didn't mean for it to be in the same place either."
"Oh I know," Nate said with a smile. "You're going to be ok, you know that right?"
"I know," Serena said after a few moments leaning back to look into his shining blue eyes. She wanted to kiss him and she actually leaned in unconsciously to do so but he turned his head to look back out into the city, whether that was intentional or a coincidence Serena didn't know but his cheek was pressed against the top of her head and she could feel his heart beating against the pam of her hand and she couldn't think of anything she'd rather be doing in her mood.
"So … I was better … right?" Nate asked and Serena snapped up her head to look at him. Nate was looking at her seriously, his blue eyes questioning her and she couldn't help but burst into uncontrollable laughter, Nate mumbled a 'what did I say?' under his breath but the smile on his face told her he knew exactly what he said. Serena nodded and wrapped her arms around Nate's neck, he was always better.
A/N : ok so this chapters song is also the story title, Fix you by Coldplay mainly because the verse that I quoted just fit Serena and the chorus fit Nate and its where everything started for me, I wrote alot of this chapter when I first came up with this idea but I obviously had to change alot of it to keep up with the change in idea's as the story progressed.
I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, it was more difficult than I intended to write but I think that was mainly the Blair and Chuck part because I'm so scared I'm going to mess them up. And of course I had to show that I was on Chuck's side lol as much as I'm trying to redeem Blair, I'm still mad at her for the second half of Season 5 and I'm holding this grudge
Orlytush, thank you for the awesome line that Nate said at the end, i know this isnt what you were thinking when you gave me that line but it was just how I thought it would flow, lol i hope you enjoyed it
So when DS had their big bar scene I immediately thought she did it for Gossip Girl to stop Blair's diary posts and thats another reason this story came about, but I still think that this is why she led Dan to the bar room and proposed that they do things, was it just me or did you guys also find the pauses in that scene really stupid
I had to had to use the I should have come back for you line! I've been thinking about that line so much and I just realised I hadnt actually used it in any of my other stories so yey me lol
Oh I started watching Revenge and Erik, baby Erik is acting like a bad boy and I just want to reach onto the TV screen and hug him because to be he'll always be little Erik van der Woodsen
Ok this is getting really long so thank you all so much for the reviews, the next chapter is gonna have a little time jump I think anyway please enjoy and review and dont get depressed like I did about the DS pictures that came out today :(
Until next time (^^,)
