Warning: AU after season 3 finale; contains spoilers for season 4 and Once Upon a Time in Wonderland
A/N: I'm so sorry for the delay in updating but between the winter finale that was heartbreaking, Christmas preparation and real life stuff I just couldn't find time to write. But now I have a bit more free time and a half of the next chapter already written so I hope to be posting it in the next few days.
Thank you for your continued support.
"Hello, love."
This is exactly what I need right now… She could not stay in her house any minute longer so she decided to come to the park early. Casting the rest of the necessary spells and arranging the prepared items one last time went easier than she anticipated when she finally acknowledged that she had just been stalling the inevitable.
The chilly air of the late morning helps her stay alert. She does not really suspect anything dangerous will come through the portal with Knave's friend but just in case she wants to be prepared. Not dwelling on why it is so, she feels calmer, more at peace when the scent of nature surrounds her. She sits on a bench and simply let herself embrace it. The distant bird's singing makes her think of Snow. She wonders how the life without an evil stepmother to worry about will change her. An unwanted image of whole Charming family, laughing and embracing, appears in her mind. The carefree smile of Henry's face , the pure love and adoration on Snow's… As much as it pains her to see it, the part of her she is still rediscovering, the one Henry brought back to life is glad that they will be happy. That they will find their happy ending.
"What a lovely surprise to see you here. Pray tell, Captain, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company? Did the Charmings decide it is not safe for Henry to see his mother and send you to give me the happy news?"
He does not take the bait, she notices with a trace of disappointment as he comes closer. He look s at her for a few moments as if not sure how to approach her, then points at the book lying next to her on top of the bag she had from home, the one with the items she wants to take with her to the new realm.
"You took into outdoor reading, I see. Found anything interesting while browsing through the past?"
"You would be surprised… or maybe not. Who knows, I am not the one with the experience of time changing adventures. Listen, I am really not in the mood for the small talk right now so say what you will and leave me alone."
Her words surprise him. He probably expected her to protest, curse him or send him away - anything really that would be more like her but there is no strength left to do so. She takes a book and stares at the engraved "Once upon a time" while waiting for him to continue.
"I do not care all that much what happens to you and for sure the feeling is mutual. But I cannot stand by why your breakdown affects the one I care about. What happened, happened and it is not like you never did anything wrong to deserve it. You said to me once that villains do not get happy endings. That may be true and yet there are still people willing to help you out, letting you shut inside your house while they're carrying on your life. And what about your son? Have you even seen him recently? Do you know what you are doing to him? What…"
Her laughter is not pretty. It is cutting and broken at the same time, filled with disappointment and loathing for everything and everyone, most of all herself. She does not even resent Hook for what he is doing, that he managed to find at least a temporary way to avoid the fate of a villain.
"You figured it out, did you not? For Henry's sake I hope you will stick to it. But never forget one thing – you may be happy but it is not your happy ending and the minute the heroes decide you are not worth it, you will be left alone. There will be nobody to help you fight for what you want, nobody to plead your case with Emma if she ever deems you unworthy. So save your breath, Captain. Save your strength because you will be needing it."
"Mom!"
They turn around to see Henry approaching them fast if a bit uncertainly.
"Now, if you excuse, I want to speak with my son. Alone."
"We are not finished, Regina."
"Oh, believe me, we are. Enjoy your day, Captain."
The sight of Henry, a person she loves most in the whole world brings back the pain. Her heart beats unevenly, hard, sending icy needles of pain through her body. But she smiles nonetheless, drinking into his face, his small, unsure smile, eyes that are searching for something in her own face. Whatever it was, he seems to find it for his body relaxes a bit as he takes a step forward and hugs her tightly. And her world explodes in flaming pain.
It takes everything in her not to gasp, double in pain or even move.
Fortunately Henry does not notice anything – or at least pretends not to do so. They stroll slowly through the park while he fills her into what has been happening to him lately, school issues, new chapters of his favourite comic book… He tries to makes their meeting as casual as possible, as it was just another one of their weekly walks that they had enjoyed so much when he was younger, when they were just mother and son and the fairy tales were only the stories in children's books.
At some point they see Elsa and Will arriving to the nearest clearing with the Charmings, Emma and some of the citizens that wanted to say goodbye to the leaving pair, wanted to see the rabbit or were just bored. It is the longest they went without a villain out there to hurt them after all. She catches Will's eyes and realize she does not have much time left.
"Mom, I am so happy you are here. I wanted to see you for so long now. I know this has to be difficult for you, what with Elsa's leaving and… all of what happened before we are here for you. You really don't have to worry about anything. Yesterday we had a goodbye party for Elsa and we understand that you didn't want to be there but maybe you can come by tonight?"
His voice, not a boy's one anymore but neither a man's yet, is hesitant, the words are chosen carefully as if he was not sure how to deal with her, whether or not anything he say could make her break or explode with rage and it kills her. He is afraid of me… of what I could do, how could I hurt the people he loves… The cold inside her chest grows stronger and she knows she will never be alright again. The odds of her surviving the battle of magic inside her are not great and even if her powers were enough, the threat would remain forever. And she cannot have her son suffer because of that, cannot have him worried or feel guilty because he is not able to help her.
"Emma and Killian have a date night so it will be just us, Grandma, Grandpa and Neal. We are going to stay home all day so you can come whenever you like. We are going to try preparing lasagna – I am sure I won't be as good as yours but it's your recipe and I saw you do it so many times I hope we can manage. If not then you can tell us all of the things we did wrong."
He smiles sheepishly at her but she barely notices. Home. Yes, this is his home now, with his birth mother and their family. Not the cold, lonely mansion he lived for years, the one he have never even visited since the day she let him go with David.
Suddenly she remembers the book and hands it to Henry. It is time.
"You must have missed this and who knows maybe you will need it again. As for me, it is no longer of use. Henry…"
She stops and turns towards him. He stares at the storybook, weights it into his hands as if it was something off with it. He reaches to open it but she repeats his name a bit louder and finally gets his full attention.
"You were right. This day is difficult because Elsa and Will are leaving. She has not gain a proper control over her magic yet and he will not be able to find his sister alone. They both need the kind of help that is highly unlikely to find in Arendelle. As for me, I am not able to live in this town any longer. I am not strong enough. So I decided to leave with them."
/Thank you for reading:)
