The Heart of the Matter
by LindaInDC
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction based on Castle, the ABC show, also owned by Andrew W. Marlowe and other cool, brilliant people. I do not own the characters, but have written this work with no intent to gain profit from it. It is for reading enjoyment only. The story, names and places are fictional, and any similarities to real persons, places and events are purely coincidental.
Thank you for reading, providing reviews and favoriting/following this story. You all are amazing.
Note: July 24, 2016- this is not additional chapters in this update. I am just breaking down this one massive post into smaller ones allowing a chapter per page.
A great big note of thanks to Sass, who helped me with her magical doctor powers to square away the clinical side of this story. I wanted to do this justice, without writing a clinical textbook.
Chapter Twelve
"Two coffees, please." Kate ordered for the woman across from her. Looking to her guest, she said, "Martha, thank you for agreeing to see me. First off, I wanted to apologize for my behavior the other day. No matter what happened between me and Rick, I should have never have taken it out on you. I'm sorry."
Martha smiled, "Oh my dear, there is nothing to forgive. We've all been there. And please know, while I don't doubt your sincerity on the apology, I have to wonder the full reason you called and asked to meet up at the coffee shop across from my home."
Kate smiled, and said, "Yes, you caught me. I needed to talk to you about me and Rick. You now know that he and I are indeed married, for now, at least."
Martha looked at her, awaiting the next tidbit of information, "Yes."
"Well," began Kate, "I am trying to piece a timeline together about where Rick was, and I need your help."
"Katherine, he's my son! I could never tell something that I was told not to!" She looked around, motioned for Kate to come closer, "But I can verify anything you happen to know or find out. That's not telling!"
Beckett winked in agreement with the semantics of the question. She began her questions, "OK, I'll just summarize what I think I know, and you tell me if Im right or wrong. If you are ok with it, fill in any details that I might have left off. OK?"
Martha simply nodded.
Kate began, "OK, so we think that Rick went on his book tour, became ill and had to cancel the rest of the tour. We think that whatever he had was related to his heart and bad enough to merit a surgeon. We also know that he was transported on a medical transport airplane, and that he was with a heart surgeon."
Martha was impressed, and relieved at the same time. "Oh Katherine, you and your team really are great detectives! I'm so relieved that I don't have to keep it hidden any longer. I wanted to tell you, but Richard asked us not to, because you two were fighting. Then he became unconscious. I promise you, I didn't know you were married until I saw you the other day."
Kate, although happy the boys figured most everything out, was upset that her still husband was ill. "What is wrong with him?"
Martha looked stricken. "He has a nasty viral infection of his heart, called Myocarditis. It isn't always this bad, but my son, alas, has had an aggressive strain. His heart is so damaged, that it stopped several times. Now it can't keep him alive much longer without a heart transplant. So, we are at home until he gets a new heart, or until he becomes too ill to be outside of the hospital. I am, we are, all so worried for him - There's no guarantee he'll get a heart. He could die.
Kate's tears were back in earnest now. She surmised, "So Castle decided to make me leave, to spare me the pain of being there, if he did die. Oh, that man! I can't believe him!"
Martha nodded, "That does sound like my son. He would only want to think of you, but my son needs support, and love, Katherine."
Kate placed her hand on top of his mother's hand. "Martha, he's going to get both from you and Alexis. And from me, as well".
Rick sat in bed, alone, save for the nurses checking on him hourly. But instead of the ruggedly handsome, gregarious man, so full of life and vigor, there sat a tired, frail, paled version of the writer, that now, knowing what she knows, looks like he is waiting for life or death, depending on which one called first. She had never seen this version before, and what she saw frightened her. He did not resemble himself at all. Gaunt, pale and thinner from the lack of appetite. She would not have recognized him as the larger than life, beautiful man she had come to know and…love.
"Rick?" She queried, trying to reconcile what she saw, but failing miserably.
"There's nothing more to talk about, Kate. Please go. There isn't a chance for us…not anymore. Mother Nature finished off that, in her own twisted way."
Kate's tears filled her cheeks, and spilled down onto the floor as she moved closer to him. She loved him, and this was killing her to see how sick he was. "Castle, I know, ok? I know about your heart, and I want to be here. Please, let me in."
Kate let her tears fall openly, for this beautiful, open, happy man that was transformed into a sick, weak being that was fighting to not lose hope. She was scared for him, as from what she knew, outlook was part of the process that helped get a positive outcome. She was terrified that he had simply given up. That fear infused her right then with new resolve. She had to get him to understand. "Castle. Listen to me. I know what you tried to do, by trying to end things with me. You think that if you run me away, and something happens to you, I won't hurt over it. That couldn't be further from the truth".
Rick misunderstood Kate's approach. Sighing, he said, "Kate, listen, I understand your attempt. You're concerned about what you learned, and being the kind of person and friend that you are, you want to help. Well, I …"
Kate stopped her by placing her finger gently on his lips. "No, Castle, that isn't it, not at all. The thing…" She stopped and took a breath, "The thing is, I woke up married. Yes that was a shock, but if I had to pick anyone in this world to be married to, it would be you. Am I shocked at seeing you sick? Of course. But this isn't about you being sick. This is about me, pushing you away. I don't know why, but I had this all in my head, you know? I don't know why I felt that I needed to have that kind of control."
"Needed to have? You don't feel that way anymore?" Rick asked, his curiosity stoked.
Kate shook her head, "Not at all. I've been seeing a therapist, putting in the time and doing the work. But I had it in my head that I had to be perfect so that we could be together and have the relationship I wanted. What I've learned is that I don't have to wait. I know what needs to be done to work on myself, and I want you right there with me, knocking down that wall. The relationship will be perfect because it's us in it."
Rick took his thumb and stroked her cheeks, drying tears that tracked down face. "I'm so in love with you, Kate."
Kate smiled through her tears. "And I'm in love with you, Rick Castle, and no matter where you are, my heart's going to be right there with you. We belong to each other."
"Always." The writer said as he gently rested his hands onto the detective's face, pulling her lips to his, and sealed the words with a kiss. Their lips separated, and her tongue caressed his lower lip, and then pushed into his mouth, to be greeted in an embrace with his tongue as well. The kiss wasn't deep and lengthy, as his breath was short, but it meant everything to both of them.
Kate gingerly climbed onto the bed to rest beside her husband, content to just be in love and with him. She watched him as he rested, and dreamed of their life together, after the surgery. Rick roused her from her dreams, with a gentle kiss on her left hand.
Looking over to her, he asked nervously, "Do you still have your ring?"
She nodded yes, and pulled it from the necklace from around her neck.
Rick reached over to his bedside table and pulled the ring from the ring box he kept there. "Let's put them back on, let the whole world know we're married."
Kate's face fell with sadness. He didn't know yet. Kate was distracted by movement in the office, and saw that it was Martha and Alexis. Thinking they were involved in their talk, she continued with him. "Rick, I don't think that we are anymore. Married, that is."
Castle looked at her, surprise in his face, "What do you mean?"
Looking down, she tried to hide her face in shame. "The day that we fought here, after I had the papers served on me, as I was leaving, I signed them and left them with your mother. They're probably in process of being filed by now, if they haven't finished."
A knock at the door interrupted the conversation. The two of them looked up to see both Martha in the doorway. Just beyond her stood Alexis, her eyes glistening as she struggled to clear her eyes with her knuckles. Martha looked at the couple and replied, "I seem to have a problem."
Castle, a little impatient, said, "Well, Mother, we were in the middle of a very important conversation and"
"Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about." Martha interrupted. "I seem to have misplaced something, and I'm afraid that it must have gotten tossed out. It looked terribly important, and I thought you should know, what with it coming from an attorney's office and everything…" She paused, to allow the pair to acknowledge what she was telling them.
Kate was the first to catch on. "So, you're saying that you misplaced and tossed out our divorce petition, rather than returning it to Rick's attorneys?"
Martha nodded, and replied, "Well, I suppose I could have said it that way, but…well, yes. That's exactly what I did.
Kate, overcome with happiness, leaned down to Rick and kissed him deeply, taking caution once she remembered he needed air. She then stood and hugged Martha firmly, for both of them. Motioning, she asked Alexis to join in on the hug, as well. "Thank you. Thank you, both of you." Kate said as she struggled for the words.
Sitting back down upon the bed, Kate reached over to Rick's hand and placed her ring upon his palm, then retrieved his ring, and sat up a little straighter, while moving closer towards him. Alexis and Martha, who were to bear witness, stepped back to create a more intimate setting for the couple.
Sliding the wedding band onto her husband's ring finger, Kate pledged, "Richard Castle, I had given this ring to you, although in a most unusual way, it was given with love. I give it to you again, now, with love and hope for the future. You are my home, my safe place and my best friend. I can't imagine living my life without you by my side. I love you, Rick. Always."
Rick was silent, though his eyes gleamed with unshed tears. Taking Kate's hand, he slid the ring onto her finger, and vowed, "Katherine Houghton Beckett, ours has never been an easy path, but it's the one that I have chosen, simply because you are there. I know beyond all other truth that I will love you for as long as I am alive, and I can't imagine my life without you in it. I love you, Kate. Always."
Rick slid his hand onto the back of Kate's neck, drawing her to him, and their lips met tenderly, sealing the renewed promise between them that they were joined for life.
####
Kate lay in bed with her husband for a long time, alternating between staring at the pager that would alert them when a heart was available, and watching the rise and fall of his chest as sleep claimed him, as she stroked his head gently, her fingers carefully working through the strands of his hair while he claimed rest. She replayed the phone call that they had with her father. He meant so much to her, and with a promise of more details later, so that Rick could rest, they agreed to talk the next day. She was stunned at how little energy the writer had, and how tasks that were often taken for granted, seemed impossible for him now. Her concern over his well being had increased, and at present, her mind was spinning at several hundred miles per hour, trying to determine what she should do to help her husband.
Her husband. She smiled at actually being able to consider him that to her. She liked how it sounded in her thoughts, and couldn't wait to hear how it rolled off her tongue.
Sliding quietly from the bed, she stepped into his office to avoid waking him. Pulling out her phone, she slid into the desk chair as she made her call.
"Captain Gates, how may I help you?" The calm, measured voice answered from the other end of the line.
"Sir, It's Kate Beckett. Sir, I have something I wish to discuss with you." Kate began.
"Detective Beckett, Why don't you stop by my office early in the morning, and we can discuss it." Gates offered, hearing the urgency in the brief conversation.
"Thank you, sir. I'll see you first thing in the morning." Kate added as she hung up the phone.
The next day started early for Kate. Rick had awoke as Kate was putting on her shoes, preparing to leave.
"Hey, I woke up at the right time. Well, late, if I wanted to see you naked." Rick said with a small grin.
Kate chuckled as she leaned back and kissed Rick gently on the lips, lingering a moment longer, just to be near him. "Well, it may be for the best. I don't want to be responsible for finishing off the old ticker with my nakedness, now do I?"
They were silent for a moment, till Castle spoke, "Do you have to go in to work today? I wanted to be with you here."
Kate looked at the sad expression he had on his face. He looked like a little boy, being told he can't play with his new christmas present. She grinned and replied, "Well, I am leaving now to go change and get new clothes so I can be here several days. Then I am meeting with Captain Gates, and I'm taking our marriage license with me to update my HR file, so that I can then ask for time off to be with you."
Castle smiled and stretched gingerly, his weakness slowing him down considerably. "That sounds like a perfect idea. I'll ask Harper to send you whatever documentation she can to help them with the medical need side of the paperwork that I know you will have to complete."
Kate leaned in and gave a small kiss to his lips. "Babe?" Another kiss. "If you are going to introduce me to beautiful women whom I was jealous of less than 12 hours before, you're going to have to give me a heads up, ok?"
Rick smiled brightly as he replied, "Not a problem. You'll like Harper, you both have the same innate ability to bust my chops. And I like you calling me Babe."
Glancing at the time, Kate sighed, "OK I have to go. I'll be back as soon as I can. I love you, Babe."
Castle ran his hand down her arm as he replied, "I love you too."
####
The traffic gods were kind to Kate on this particular morning, as she made it to her apartment in good time, showered, changed and packed in record time and was pulling into her spot at the precinct with 10 minutes to spare. The ride up to the Homicide division was quiet, as was the whole building at this time of day. As the doors slid open, Kate looked up to notice that Gates was also already here, and just finished hanging her jacket. Gates motioned for her to come to her office. Here we go. Kate thought to herself as she made the trip to her Captain's office by way of the copier.
Gates, a detective first and foremost before a Captain, still had an eye for the details. "So, it looks as if congratulations are in order, Detective Beckett. Or is it Detective Castle?"
Kate was taken aback. "You knew sir? How?"
"Let's just say that I could tell you weren't happy about being teased by your team. But seriously, congratulations." She shook her hand and took the copy of her marriage license for her records. "Was that why you were wanting to meet with me?" Gates said as she sat in her chair and leaned back into it.
"No sir," Kate began, "well, part of it, but something has come up and I would appreciate if you could keep this between us, sir, for now. While Rick was on his book tour, he developed a very serious and aggressive form of a viral infection to his heart. It has left him in urgent need of a new heart."
Gates' concern was foremost on her facial expression. "Kate, what do you need, just name it and it's yours. You have your brothers and sisters in uniform to help in any way you need. Likewise, Mr. Castle has developed a respect among the people here in the division, and many have come to respect his talents. We'd be honored to help."
Kate was taken aback at the tremendous outpouring towards her and Castle. "Thank you, sir. Since I am just getting involved in his care and as his wife, I am still learning about long term needs. So, short term, I would like to be with him while we wait at home, and while he initially recovers, at least. I want him to know his family is there for him to help him as he heals, or if for some reason, no heart is found, that we are with him for as long as he is with us." Speaking of her husband's mortality was impossible, her voiced cracked slightly as she spoke.
Gates rose from her chair and motioned for Kate to do the same. She reached out a hand and shook her junior officer's hand, and said, "Go be with Rick now. I'll have someone contact you on how to start your medical leave. In the meantime, don't worry about days off or anything here. Your team has no open investigations and your forms are all submitted, so it's a good time, even from that small aspect. I'll be in touch to check in. Keep us posted on how everything is going."
And with that, Kate was back in her car, on her way to the loft. To him. Home.
####
It's been two weeks since Kate and Rick settled in to stay man and wife, and nearly three since he's been back from the hospital. The overall morale in the household has been good, but the sound of a distant ticking clock is getting a little louder each day. Castle is a good sport with the heavy medication regimen he is on. His energy lessens each day, and hours pass on many days where Kate is content to lie next to Rick as he sleeps, comfortable to read a book or even rest herself. The waking moments are spent between medical needs, such as as medications and checkups with Harper.
The remainder of the time is spent with Kate and Rick talking, holding hands or touching in some way. A kiss is shared often, almost as a way to hold that thought on whatever it was they were doing previously, or as a way to just communicate without words.
One day, the afternoon sun was just sliding into the west side of the loft, bathing the bed in sunlight. Kate lay on her back, at the left side of her husband, who was on his back, head propped by pillows. The head of the bed was elevated in such a degree it kept the sun from being at eye level for them. Kate was leaning into Rick, her right arm across her body, with her fingers interwoven with the fingers of Rick's left hand. Their talk was soft and low, meant for only them to hear.
Kate smiled at her husband as she spoke, "So I was thinking about our wedding. Or the fact that the only recall of it that either of us have is by firing up the DVD player and popping some popcorn."
Rick laughed lightly, and replied, "Yeah, and I am disappointed because I can't even remember what a wildcat in bed you must have been on our wedding night. I was covered in hickeys!"
Kate playfully smacked his hand. "You? I seem to recall standing in the bathroom having to take a hickey count, myself!"
They shared a laugh, and Kate continued, "So, I was thinking. After your recovery is done and you are cleared, why don't we re-do our vows, and take a little honeymoon trip. Just a few days to have a real honeymoon?"
Rick was quiet for a long count, then replied, "I'd love that. It would give us memories and a chance to do our own vows, and time to share on a real wedding night, too. And you've heard what Harper said, that sex could be considered as early as three months after, depending on how I do overall. So, I'm thinking you may need to start your NYPD fitness bootcamp classes so you can keep up with your flexible husband with the stamina of a young man."
Kate loved to hear Rick's tease her. It was that sass that kept them happy, and in the zone together. It was becoming easier and easier to be with him. Other than the heart worries, fears and the constant waiting, theirs was a perfect marriage.
Beckett just smiled at her husband as she answered, "Don't you worry about me. I'm plenty flexible. And I have this thing I do with…"
At that moment, the pager on the bedside table began to beep, filling the room with a shrill, foreign noise. The sound carried into the rest of the house, and for a moment, the couple froze in disbelief that it was actually the pager that making all the noise. It was loud enough that everyone in the loft came to the bedroom, ready for action.
Kate grabbed the pager, and handed it to Rick. "You sit up and get on your slippers." Looking up, she saw Alexis, and sent her to help her dad finish getting ready. Martha had already grabbed a large weekender bag with essentials for the trip to the hospital and she had it by the front door in a matter of moments. The actress then grabbed the house phone and called down for the car immediately. Rick paid to have a car on standby 24/7 that could be there in minutes to take him to the hospital. Rick's nurse gathered up his medication lists and verified when he had taken them all last and placed them into the health packet going with them to the hospital.
Kate was intently, deliberately dialing each number in the hospital phone number so that no mistake was made. When the nurse on the other end answered, Kate confirmed Richard Castle had been paged, and then she heard the words that they all had so longed to hear.
"Come immediately to the hospital. We have a heart for you."
To be continued...
