Trust

Summary: Things between Steve and Catherine end in a bad way after he finds out that she's been withholding information on his mother. That should have been it, but neither had counted on fate to keep dragging them back.

Pairings: Steve/Catherine, some OCs mixed in for a little (or a lot of) drama and misunderstandings, maybe some Danny/Gabby, Kono/Adam

Warning: I'm having a little fun messing with Steve's mind in this one; some topics of medical treatment for women will be discussed that may make you uncomfortable

To Guest (about Catherine seeming weak): In my opinion there is nothing weak with seeking and/or accepting help when needed. This whole mentality of people being weak or damaged if they see a psychologist/psychiatrist is ridiculous and demeaning. People can't always deal with everything by themselves and sometimes it's easier to talk to a complete stranger rather than to your best friend. In this story I've put Catherine through physical abuse by a loved one, a terrible break-up included, a perceived rejection of her child by its father, two hostage situations and a near miscarriage – frankly, I think she's entitled to a little help. No matter how strong, no one could deal with that all by themselves. It doesn't make her weak in the slightest. Sorry about the rant, but it needed to get out.

Chapter 12: Downhill

Once he had opened the door to see who was there, Steve stepped aside without a word to let the psychiatrist in. As the woman settled on his couch, the former SEAL went over to the opposite wall to lean against it. The two of them stared at each other for a long time without saying a word. Steve eventually slid down the wall, and sat on the floor. Commander Klesko's face revealed nothing, yet the deliberate blankness only served to make his gut clench all the more.

"How is she?", Steve finally croaked.

"You know I can't answer that, Commander," the psychiatrist replied, giving him a look.

"Then why are you here?" He didn't mean to sound so hostile, but the situation was stressful enough without her sitting there, staring at him. He just wanted to know that Catherine was okay; he didn't want details. Frankly, he wasn't sure if he could handle knowing the details right now. He only wanted the Commander to tell him that Catherine would be okay, though he dared not think about how long the road to that goal might be. The thought that he had done this to her was crippling enough as it was. He didn't really need Commander Klesko to tell him just how badly he had hurt Catherine with his behavior.

"Because I thought you might want to talk to me."

The Commander's voice ripped him away from his spiraling thoughts, and he looked up in a daze. He felt as if he was seeing her for the first time, as if she hadn't really been there before. He couldn't quite discern her meaning. He wasn't the one who had been smashed against a wall, ignored for weeks, emotionally manipulated into risking his carrier, broken and threatened through words and actions of someone he cared about. Just thinking about everything he had done to a woman he had cared for seven years – in a matter of months, no less – still made him physically flinch. Sure, the last few months hadn't exactly been sunshine and daisies for him either, but he'd been telling himself that he was fine so frequently that he had almost believed it. He couldn't imagine how horrible Catherine must have felt to turn to the psychiatrist.

He shrunk a little further against the wall.

"What's there to talk about? You probably know everything already."

"You know I cannot talk about what my patients tell me in confidence."

He hung his head.

"Patient," he mumbled, barely comprehending the word in relation to the strong woman he knew. He pressed his hands against his forehead as he tried to wrap his head around everything that had happened in the last few months, and bring it into relation with what he had just figured out. He was surprised that Catherine was in psychiatric treatment, but not so surprised at the same time. With what he had put her through, she must have needed someone to talk to. Her family is either distant or shipped out, much like her friends, and he certainly hadn't been available, so Catherine had turned to someone who was. Not only was it Commander Klesko's job to listen to people's problems, she was also not personally involved in any way, and Steve knew that it was sometimes easier to talk to a complete stranger than to your best friend.

"Does that bother you?", the Commander asked, again drawing him back from the depths of his mind. His gaze must have given away that she had lost him again, so she added to her statement quietly. She didn't see upset that he hadn't been listening. "That LT Rollins is my patient."

"I thought you would not be allowed to talk about that either. Just confirming that she is your patient is a breach of protocol, or isn't it?"

"Normally it would be, but I think the cat is out of the bag already. You didn't answer my question, though. Does that bother you?", she repeated as she scribbled something down.

"No," he murmured tiredly.

"Most people consider seeking psychological help a sign of weakness..., of being damaged."

He knew she was deliberately provoking him, and it was working.

"No," Steve said more firmly, looking at her directly. "She was alone. She needed help, so she found herself some. Adapt and overcome. I know better than anyone that we can't always manage that on our own. I'm glad she has you. I... I'm proud of her."

"But something is bothering you?!" Half a statement, half a question, but clearly Commander Klesko was not about to let this go. Steve got up in a rush, and paced his living room in front of her. He didn't care that she scribbled something down about that as well, he told himself, even though he followed the movement of the hand in a vain attempt to find out what she was writing. He ran a hand through his hair, and bit his lip in frustration. This situation was unreal; why was the Commander wasting time talking to him when there were people who needed her – when Catherine needed her.

"Why is it even important? Why do you care?!", he erupted suddenly, coming to a stop, and fixing his gaze on her. Commander Klesko sighed, and put her pen and pocketbook down. She looked him squarely in the eyes as she answered.

"Because I don't think that this situation can be resolved if I only work on one side of the... equation." Here Steve had the distinct feeling that she had wanted to say problem instead. "Also, I believe talking to you might help me help LT Rollins."

While he had been ready to bristle and defend himself before, that simple phrase along with the absolute and brutal honesty with which she said it was enough to shut him up even before he had opened his mouth. Steve sunk back into a cross-legged position on the carpet, back leaning against his low living room table, facing away sideways from the doctor. He leaned his head back until he could see straight up to the ceiling. A cynical smile spread across his face, and a humorless chuckle made its way out of his throat. He rubbed his hands over his face, still not quite comprehending what was going on here, but he knew that Klesko knew that she had him with that phrase. He'd do just about anything to help Catherine out of this.

"What do you want to know?", he asked.

"What is bothering you?"

"...So many things," he mumbled back.

"Start with one."

Steve chuckled. If he was going to bare his soul to this woman, he might as well start with the biggest bombshell.

"I love Catherine," he said in a tone as if he were talking about the weather, but it soon deteriorated to anguish as he continued. "I love her, and I want to be with her, but I know that's not possible. If I didn't already know that I had destroyed every chance of fixing us, I sure have now. I didn't react well when I saw you. I... I don't see her as damaged, as you put it. I am proud of her for letting you help her, but I couldn't... In that moment all I could think about was that I had made that happen, that I was responsible for putting her in a position where she needed to talk, and I wasn't there for her. No one was there for her. She was all alone, and that's my fault, too."

"Why do you feel responsible?"

He gave her a look.

"You already know."

"I only know what you tell me, Commander," she answered diplomatically, and they shared a shrewd grin. There was no way that Catherine had not told her about the night at his house, the phone call or the hospital. The stupid dance club, too. Every time he thought about it, a new chunk of ice settled itself into his gut to replace the one he had almost managed to ignore long enough for it to go away. He doubted he would ever free himself of that feeling even if he talked to Commander Klesko for the rest of his life, but if this could help Catherine, he would lay it all out before her in a heartbeat.

"We had a fight. She had lied to me in agreement with my mother, and I... I was so mad, I pushed her against the wall. Then again when she was in the hospital... Oh god, I had just found out about the baby, and she'd nearly lost it, and I couldn't help but push... further. My emotions just switched around in a matter of seconds, and suddenly I was so angry – like the night at my house. I abused her, Commander. I physically hurt her, and for a moment at the hospital I wasn't sure what I was going to do. Even my partner thought I might hit her." He looked up at her. "I couldn't. Ever..."

Then he gulped.

"Or at least that's what I thought, and what I keep telling myself, but I came so close twice already... what if... What if it happens again?"

Commander Klesko looked at him with as neutral an expression as she could muster, but what he had told her disturbed her greatly. He had been violent already, and he was justified in worrying about future episodes, though she wasn't sure that it was as bad as the Lieutenant Commander's mind made it out to be. People had a way of blowing things out of proportion. While she would never advocate the use of violence under any inter-personal, family-related situations, violence was an integral part of the human character. There was no denying that. His anger had been justified, his reaction exaggerated. It was a matter of finding the trigger, and conditioning the Commander to circumvent it. From previous discussions with Lieutenant Rollins, she already had an idea of where she might have to look to find it. She wasn't out to destroy one relationship to salvage another, but the safety of the Lieutenant and her baby had to take first place in her list of priorities. She'd worry about the rest later.

"What exactly was it that angered you in the hospital? What happened to make you push?", she asked, choosing her words carefully so as not to lead him along but rather give him a push in the right direction.

"I'd just told her that I wanted to be a part of my child's life, and she said something about it not being so easy," he answered in a monotone. "I thought she would not let me in, and it... I don't know, my anxiety turned to anger in an instant. It was so... intense, I didn't even know what was going on until she growled back at me. Only then did I realize what I had done... again."

He closed his eyes in pain.

"Commander, did you have a traumatic experience involving your mother?"

"What the fuck?!", he barked out, then his mind caught up with his mouth. "I'm sorry, but where did that come from? Did Catherine tell you that?!" Why would she talk about that? That was private!

"No, you did," she replied. At his confused gaze, she elaborated. "Your... outbursts seem to be centered around situations involving the notion of motherhood. I had to conclude that there was a traumatic experience in your past that put the idea of motherhood in question."

"I... yes, I..." No, he wasn't ready to talk about that, maybe he never would be. "Is that why I treated Catherine that way? Because I feel betrayed by my own mother?"

Commander Klesko raised an eyebrow, but fought the instinct of writing something down. She filed the notion of betrayal away in her mind to revisit at a later time. The Lieutenant Commander had turned to her, half hopeful, half frightened by her insinuation. She wasn't entirely sure of her diagnosis yet, though it certainly seemed accurate. Still, her foremost concern at the moment, and probably the SEAL's too, was to secure the safety of mother and child in his presence. If she had indeed found the trigger in his mother, healing would take time, but countermeasures could be enacted immediately.

"I can't be sure of that, Commander, but considering everything you have told me, I would lean in that direction. That doesn't mean that LT Rollins or the baby are in any danger from you. Still, the matter needs to be addressed. For the time being, I want you to try and let your anger wash through you. Whenever you feel like you're losing control, I want you to slowly count to twenty before taking any kind of action. Stand still or pace, close your eyes... whatever helps you."

Steve nodded slowly, not sure if it would work with how fast his anger had risen the other times.

"This is not a permanent solution, Commander. The issue has to be dealt with more wholly than this, but I realize that if I hadn't come here and pushed you, you wouldn't have been talking to me at all. This is not something that can be forced. Come to me when you are ready, Commander."

Without another word, the Commander got up and left. Steve didn't even see her to the door; he was so shell-shocked by today's discoveries. That he had mommy issues was not a particular surprise as he'd had those for years, but that they would lead him to violence. He thought the reason for his anger had been the sense of betrayal he had felt over Catherine lying to him, and certainly that had played a part, but the real trigger had been his own mother. He had known he was greatly influenced by her supposed death – as he had admitted to Danny, he never would have joined the Navy if she hadn't died – apparently, though, the trauma left behind by her survival and abandonment was even greater.

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When Catherine opened the door to her veranda to have breakfast in the bright Hawaiian sun, she found that Steve was already lingering there with a bag of Malsadas in one hand, and two cups of what she hoped was not coffee in the other. He must have been there waiting for her to get up for quite a while because he had fallen asleep against the wall of her house. This in turn made her wonder if he had slept at all last night. Part of her wanted to shake him violently, and yell and curse at him. He didn't get to sleep on her veranda after what he had done to her just yesterday. Another part wondered why he was here, and wanted to see if he would apologize. Yelling and screaming at him would not help with that, and as gratifying as it might seem now, she knew she would not truly feel better afterward. Deciding to let him rest a little while longer, she placed the goodies he brought on the small table on her veranda, crinkling her nose when she did smell coffee. Steve obviously had a lot to learn about pregnancy, but it was the thought that counted, so she smiled anyway. Going back inside for freshly squeezed orange juice, milk, toast, butter and jam, she woke him with a light nudge of her foot as she set the table for two.

"Wake up, sleeping beauty," she laughed at him.

"Hmm, might need a kiss to wake up," he'd mumbled back before he realized what he had said. "Sorry, Cath...rine."

She snorted.

"No amount of kissing could turn you from a frog into a prince, sailor."

That had him grin as he pushed up from the floor uncomfortably.

"How long have you been there?"

He looked at his watch.

"Uh, couple of hours, I guess. Coffee is probably cold. Sorry."

"I couldn't drink it anyway, but thanks."

"Uh, don't worry, it's decaf."

"I can't stand the smell," Catherine admitted sheepishly. She had always loved the scent of coffee, even though she had to throw in a ton of sugar and milk to make the taste bearable. Since she'd been pregnant, she had not been able to stand the smell of quite a few beloved food items, and had to adjust her diet accordingly. "I can warm yours up, though."

"Nah, orange juice is better anyway. Gracie has taken these healthy eating classes, and has been driving Danny crazy. He's been bringing salad to the office as a packed lunch. Needless to say, he caved after about three days, but every time he tries again, he drags us along."

The little tale from work had her giggle slightly. It was also probably the only thing he could tell her about work that wouldn't make her worry. A normal day at the office for his task force usually included at least one dead body and a gunfight. He was pretty sure their lovely breakfast was not the most opportune moment to talk about his stupidity yesterday, but he had to clarify things, preferably before he put his foot in his mouth again. He seemed to have a knack for doing that around her lately.

"Listen, Cathe...rine," he began, and almost flinched. He just couldn't stop calling her by the endearment. "Listen, I'm sorry about my reaction to Commander Klesko yesterday. I know how it must have looked, and I want you to know that I don't think of you as... weak or anything because you went to the Commander for help. I think it shows that you're... resourceful and... uh."

Resourceful, really?! He wanted to kick himself. He had never been good with words, but as far as apologies went, this was ridiculously inept even by his standards, and he wasn't good with apologies either. He looked up at her, his eyes pleading with her not to misunderstand. Fortunately, Catherine had years of experience at speaking 'Steve', so she got exactly what he meant despite his poor wording. She smiled slightly at him to convey that she had understood, that she was not offended like any other woman certainly would have been, and that she accepted his apology for what it was. He had a feeling that in the long run this might come back to bite them anyway. It was definitely not over. An apology could not erase the hurt left behind by words or actions; he knew that better than anyone. The ball was in her court now, though. She would bring it up when she felt ready.

"Actually, it was Captain Coulston who first sent me in the Commander's direction," she said as a peace-offering.

"Oh, well... I'm just glad that you had help, that you could confide in someone."

She nodded, and they finished their breakfast in silence. Despite what he had told Danny about Malasadas being a heart attack in a box, he quite liked them, once in a while anyway, and seeing Catherine happily munching of the small sweets was definitely worth the extra calories. He wiped his mouth on a paper napkin that had been included in the box, and cleared his throat. He wasn't sure how forgiving Catherine was, even though she had accepted his apology, and how she felt about spending more time with him, but he was loathe to let their peaceful moment end just yet.

"Uhm, can I take you out somewhere today? Not the jungle, obviously, or the ocean. Baby doesn't seem to like water at the moment, but somewhere else? Maybe we could go on that helicopter tour with Kamekona or catch a movie."

"I can't, Steve."

"Cathe...rine, please... we could even just go shopping. I'll be your drudge-"

"No, I really can't, Steve. At least not right now. I have a doctor's appointment in an hour. He wants to check me over after the hospital scare." Catherine twisted her hands a bit, and looked at the table. She was obviously nervous about this visit to the doctor, so he placed one of his hands atop both of hers, and smiled at her when she looked up at him.

"Can I come with?"

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Half an hour later found them both in front of the building the office was located in because Catherine liked to be early for everything. Also, Steve suspected, she was both keen to find out if her doctor could figure out what had happened and anxious to get it over with. Just in front of the entrance to the building there was some construction work being done. It was all cordoned off with orange-and-white striped plastic barriers. As they passed the construction site, a handful of short metal cylinders that were leaning against the side of one barrier were jostled, and the tubes fell over, making Catherine jump sideways to avoid them. She jumped straight into him, and it took him a moment to steady them both so that they wouldn't fall.

"Sorry, ma'am. Are you alright?", one of the workers called over.

"Yeah, thanks. We're fine," Catherine answered.

"You should move those to a safer place," Steve added, not quite so willing to forget this safety oversight. He saw the guy nod, but knew that he didn't mean it. Steve was about to pull out his badge when he remembered that he was off duty, and he had left it at home. He cursed slightly under his breath, but Catherine was already leading him away. They went to the office, and reported to the reception. Sitting in the waiting room was possibly the most awkward thing he had ever done in his life. Aside from him there were only women in the room. None of them looked pregnant, so he deduced that they were here merely for a check-up. What was awkward about it was the way all their gazes seemed to drift to him. He wasn't sure whether it was simply because he was the only guy in the room and therefore out of place or if they were actually eying him up despite the fact that he was clearly here with one of their fellow women.

Just in case it was the latter, Steve decided to grab hold of Catherine's hand like a security blanket until they were finally called into the doctor's office. Doctor Gordon was a kindly older man with freckles, thick glasses and a sense of professionalism that he could hardly be shocked out of. So when Steve came in behind Catherine, he was given no more attention than a cursory glance before the gynecologist turned back to his patient. They exchanged a few minutes of idle chat during which Steve was introduced, and Catherine glossed over the reasons why the father of the baby had not appeared to any previous appointments.

"Please sit down, my dear," Doctor Gordon told her gently, and indicated a chair that's backrest was so laid back Catherine might as well have been lying down. Additionally, the construction had two odd contraptions that Steve wasn't quite sure how to classify. Catherine seemed unconcerned so he didn't say anything as she sat down, merely took his place beside her. The doctor, however, must have noticed something in his eyes, because he turned to Steve. "I take it this is the first time you've ever visited a gynecologist?"

Well, duh.

"Yes, sir," he said politely.

"Let me tell you, then, that there is nothing to worry about. Despite its appearance, this chair is not an instrument of torture," the doctor replied jovially.

"That depends on which side you are on," Catherine qualified his statement with a snort to which Doctor Gordon inclined his head. Steve was out of his depth, and pretty sure that he didn't want to know. Therefore, he let the opportunity to ask pass him by. Instead he watched as Catherine brought her tunic up to bunch just under her breasts, so that the doctor could spread some gel on her exposed belly, and gently press the ultrasonic device against her skin. A gray-and-black image appeared on the monitor beside the table, and Steve's breath got stuck in his throat. The baby was large enough now that he could identify it even without the doctor's help. It wasn't beautiful – just a gray lump, really – but it was their baby, and it made his heart flutter.

"There is your baby," the doctor commented as he moved the device across Catherine's belly, presumably to check for any problems. "Everything seems fine. The little one doesn't show any signs of fetal distress either."

"Can you tell if it's a boy or a girl?", Steve asked, and Catherine rolled her eyes at him.

"Yes," Doctor Gordon answered simply.

"And?", the former SEAL urged, which had the doctor turn to Catherine.

"Have you changed your mind about wanting it to be a surprise, my dear?"

"No, he just hates them," Catherine answered with amusement.

"Ah, well I'm afraid I can't tell you without the consent of the mother," Doctor Gordon informed him. "And she doesn't seem to want to know."

"Can't you just let him tell me? I promise I won't say anything," Steve pleaded with her. He really would like some warning of what to expect, but Catherine was snorting and shaking her head.

"You couldn't help yourself. Even if you didn't directly tell me, you'd tell everyone around you, and you'd probably act different, and I'd just find out anyway. You're gonna have to wait the last four and a half months to find out like everyone else, Steve. What do you think couples did before the sex could be determined?"

"Prepare for a boy, and change the name into its feminine form if it turned out to be a girl," Doctor Gordon commented unhelpfully. Both Steve and Catherine looked at him. "What? It's true."

Catherine rolled her eyes again. Steve was inclined to follow suit until the doctor spoke again.

"Even though everything seems fine, and the hospital has done a number of tests already, I'd like to take a closer look and get some samples, including some of the amniotic fluid, for analysis in our lab, Catherine. Just to be safe."

She nodded, her expression turning somber as she got up to move behind a curtain.

"McGarrett, was it?"

"Yes, sir."

"If you could please wait outside. Some women are uncomfortable with their partners being present during this examination, and would prefer some privacy."

"Uh... Catherine?"

Catherine popped her head around the curtain, and she nodded slowly, not looking at him. She could feel the blush across her cheeks. She wasn't unused to exams like this, and there was certainly nothing intimate about it, but it was still very personal, and she didn't fancy Steve standing around watching as Doctor Gordon examined her. She heard him murmur his assent, then leave the room, and she took a deep breath.

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Steve tried to sit still in the waiting room while Doctor Gordon did God knows what tests, but he still couldn't stop the continuous tapping of his foot or the fact that he changed sitting position every couple of minutes. He was usually very good at the waiting game, had to be, his job demanded it, but this was something else. He could barely keep himself in his seat, and only the awareness of the women's watching eyes on him kept him from outright pacing. He didn't quite understand why Catherine had sent him out. He knew that, while there was nothing he hadn't seen before, he and she were not on the best of terms at the moment, but this was his baby, too. The doctor had noted upon some uneasiness that all women felt, but in the end it had been Catherine's furious blush that had made him acquiesce the request. If it had anything to do with what she had said earlier on the chair being or not being an instrument of torture, it might be a good idea for him not to be present. He didn't like the idea of seeing her hurt, especially since he had caused a lot of her pain lately, and if his presence made the whole experience worse, he could wait out here for a few minutes, couldn't he? As the minutes grew, he became ever more restless. Eventually, Catherine came out with the definite air of someone who felt somewhat violated, but she waved his concerns off with a laugh, telling him that that was normal.

"Normal?", he deadpanned.

"Steve, if you really want to know, I'll tell you what happened," she said, stopping in front of him with the most sincere look on her face. She even grasped his hand in both of her, and pressed it against her cleavage for emphasis. Steve knew she was poking fun at him, but the feel of her soft skin beneath the back of his hand and fingers was rare and special enough to distract him these days.

"Uh..."

"Thought so," she retorted as she kissed his flushed cheek. Then she let go of him, and made her way toward the stairs.

"No, I want to know."

"No, you don't. You're just saying that 'cause your male pride is licking its wounds." She laughed lightly at him, and it was a good sound to hear. Maybe he could get her to kiss him again.

"No, I insist. Tell me." He played her game, and they went on teasing back and forth the entire way down to the street even as he was hovering around her in case she needed him to help her like she had with the rocks. Steve realized he was doting, and Danny would probably say that he was going soft, but he couldn't resist the light, playful mood that had suddenly spread between the two of them. As they made their way out the front doors of the building, the former SEAL noticed several things at once. For starters, the guys from the construction site had, predictably, not removed the metal cylinders from where they could trip up passersby. The other thing he noticed was the motorcyclist who came along the driveway, slowing down without stopping. When he was right in front of them, he extended his hand, and made a gunfire motion with it.

Before the guy could accelerate again, before Steve even thought about it, he grabbed one of the short tubes from the sidewalk, and threw it between the spokes of the motorcycle's front wheel. With the wheel being brought to an abrupt halt, the bike overturned, and threw its driver off. The guy flew a couple of meters before he landed on the ground again with a loud scrunching noise and a wail of protest. Steve turned back to Catherine, telling her to take cover inside in case the guy hadn't come alone, and call Danny.

"Tell him to bring Chin and Kono."

Not fifteen minutes later saw the entire Five-0 task force standing in front of the building. Calls from the people working the construction site had brought Duke Lukela, a couple of policemen and the paramedics along who were thankfully, given Steve's mood, letting Five-0 handle things. Deeming it safe to come out again, Catherine joined the task force in watching as the paramedics checked the perp over.

"Does he have any broken bones or anything else that needs immediate medical attention?", Steve was asking in a tone that foreshadowed nothing good for the criminal.

"There don't seem to be any fractures, but he should still to be checked for internal bleeding."

"Fine," Steve growled, then turned to his team and Catherine. "Chin, take Catherine home. Do not let her leave your sight-"

"Just because I'm having a baby, doesn't mean I need a babysitter myself, and who said I'm going home?"

"Catherine," he started, grabbing onto her shoulders, but abruptly stopped himself, and let his hands fall away. He could feel a wave of anger coming on. It wasn't as intense or instantaneous as it had been before, but he wouldn't risk losing his temper with her. He took a deep breath, and counted to twenty, just to be sure. "Catherine, this guy came here to deliver a message. It's entirely possible that someone else will try to make good on it. I don't want you in the line of fire, and just in case they come after you even if I'm not there, I don't want you and our baby to be alone."

He came forward to grasp her hands.

"Please."

She sighed in exasperation, but nodded mutely, understanding his concern. She turned to Chin who led her away to his car. Steve watched her go, and only turned back to the remaining members of his team when she was out of sight.

"Somebody knew I would be here when I didn't even know until this morning. There is something more going on, and I want you two to go with this guy to the hospital, and question him while they're preparing him for the examination. If nothing shows up, I want him in the blue room at headquarters where he will stay until he talks."

"Catherine works for Intelligence, right?" Kono asked. "Could they have been targeting her?"

"As far as I know, this was an emergency appointment due to her near mis... miscarriage the other day. I don't think it was scheduled until a couple of days ago, but I'll ask Cath. How could someone have known?"

"It would still be weird if they had been targeting her. You said she'd be on restricted duty soon." Danny scratched his head, not quite sure what to make of all of this. Steve looked from him to the perp. The paramedics were about to load him into the ambulance, so Steve made damn sure that he heard the next words.

"Go with him, and find out what he knows. And for his sake, you better have something when I come back!"

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(half an hour later; Catherine Rollins' house)

"Chin, could you please not hound my every move. It's a little creepy."

"Sorry, Catherine, but Steve did say not to let you leave my sight."

Catherine rolled her eyes at this, but didn't say anything. For a moment it had looked like he would snap at her again, but he'd stopped himself before any real damage could be done. Then he had called the little one their baby and Catherine could only do so much not to burst into tears then and there. She knew he had used the term to manipulate her into seeing his point, but that did not make it any less true, nor the sentiment she had seen in his eyes less real. He had agonized over the possibility of harm coming to their child. Their child. It had a strange ring to it, but it resonated strongly through her being, and she thought she might grow to love the sound of hearing him say that.

She started when droplets of water fell onto her face and neck. Turning to Chin, she saw that he was done washing the salad, and had used it to get her attention by shaking it free of the water. She slapped his arm lightly in retribution. The least she could do if he was going to be stuck with her for god knows how long, was to make some lunch. After the fake shooting in front of her doctor's practice, the normalcy of the ritual soothed her frayed nerves. Things had been quiet for so long in her life – emotional trauma and pregnancy craziness notwithstanding – that she really should have expected the Five-0 kind of crazy to turn up again, especially since Steve had returned to her life, but she had been blissfully, and perhaps a bit deliberately ignorant of this possibility. She had been too wrapped up in her own little drama with Steve to care anyway.

Steve...

"Can I ask you something about Malia?", she asked carefully. Chin raised an eyebrow at the unexpected question, but nodded. "How did you do it? People thought she had left you; how did you stay away from someone you wanted?"

Chin was even more surprised at this question as Catherine seemed to seek a deeper truth in the answer he had not yet given her. Taking a closer look at the woman in front of him, he grew a little worried. She seemed nearly as torn as Steve when the topic of their relationship came up, and he had no doubt that she was asking his advice on that, masking it in a personal question. If neither of them could decide what they wanted, they were never going to resolve this issue between them.

End of chapter 12!

A/N: I'm no expert in psychology, so I have honestly no idea if the conversation between Klesko and Steve makes any sense.

I had a bit of fun with the examination, though some women do find them extremely uncomfortable.