The start of this chapter describes a car crash, if this is a sensitive topic for you please skip the italic part


Chapter 12 Ally Danvers

"Mum, mum, mum," I tried to call out to her but she wasn't answering. "Please mum, can you hear me, you need to wake up." She wasn't moving. "Mum I'm sorry, I love you, I didn't mean to say that," she still wasn't moving. I could see the red and blue lights flashing around us, people were coming to help. Someone asked me if I was okay, "My mum, she isn't moving or talking, you have to help her." I tried to call out to them, my breathing started to get harder, no I was not going to have an asthma attack, mum needed me to be strong. In and out, in and out, I could do this. A fire fighters head appeared at the window, "Cover your eyes and turn your face away from the window." I was sitting in seat behind mum, and he was looking at me, I pointed to her, he just nodded his head. What on earth did that mean. "I need you to look that way for me, I'm going to break the glass so we can get you out." I looked away like he asked, still trying to breathe in and out; I could hear my breath getting raspy. When I looked to the side of the car I understood why they were coming through the window right next to me, the other side of the car was bent at a right angle. The front of the car was crushed too. At this thought my breathing started to quicken, I was feeling really cold, I think I was starting to shiver. "Okay on the count of three I'm going to break the glass, you keep your face that way you are doing really well sweetie." I heard the fire fighter call out again, I nodded my head, not sure if he could even see me. "One, two, three" the bang of the glass caused me to jump in fright. Mum didn't even move, why wasn't she moving? "Hey, you're okay, what is your name?" the fire fighters face appeared in the window, he looked friendly, his brown eyes seemed kind, and his voice was calm despite the crazy situation. As I tried to speak I was reminded that breathing was hard at the moment. "Al," breathe in "Ly" out, "Dan" in, out vers" The fireman nodded his head, "Well hello Ally Danvers, you are a very brave girl, we are going to look after you. You keep breathing in and out. Just nod your head for me, do you have asthma Ally?" I nodded my head at his question. I point to my mum and look at him, "We will look after your mum to, but first we are going to get you out, then we will have to cut the car to get you mum out as she is stuck." I nodded my head that made sense. "Ally this is very important, can you feel you legs and your arms?" I try to wiggle my toes and fingers, I nod my head, my breathing is getting harder I'm gasping for breathe again. "Okay Ally, I'm going to lean in and cut your seat belt then I'm going to lift you out of the car, I want you to keep taking deep breaths, we have an oxygen tank and some ventolin ready for you as soon as I lift you out, you are doing really well Ally." I nod my head. He moves really fast and in less than 30 seconds I'm sitting on an ambulance bed. I turn back to look at the car. It is in crumbled up like a ball, my heart drops though as I see the flicker of flames, the fire fighters are trying to put it out but there is an explosive "BANG!"

"Mum, mum" I wake up, my throat is dry and Alex has her arms around me. I lean into her; she isn't the person I want. But the person I want is dead, she can't hug me. "You are okay Ally, you are safe" she is right I am okay, I am safe but mum is not and it is my entire fault. We were on the way home from my dance lessons and I was arguing with her about something stupid. She didn't see the car run the red light in time. Then she died it was my entire fault.

I pushed Alex away, I didn't deserve her hugs, I had killed her mum. "Hey Ally, don't push me away." She said firmly. "I don't deserve your hugs." I say through my tears, still moving to the other side of the couch. Alex tries to move closer to me, "No stay there, it's all my fault, you shouldn't hug me". Alex tries to put her hand on my arm but I push it away, I don't deserve her comfort. "Ally, this is not your fault." I just shake my head, "Yes it is my fault, I killed our mum, I don't deserve you, you should just leave me, how can you even look at me." I pull my knees to my chest and put my head down into my knees wanting to just disappear. Alex pulls me to her, I try to move away but she holds my around the waist firmly and hugs my tightly. I continue to cry. She kisses my head. Why is she being so nice to me? "Now Ally Danvers, you listen to me, mum dying is not your fault. It was an accident the person driving the car that ran the red light they are to blame maybe, but not you. You were just sitting in the car, mum died because someone ran a red light, not because of anything you did." I just cry harder, "That's not what happened though Alex." I let out another sob. I hadn't told her or Kara this. They would hate me and I don't think I could cope with my sisters hating my on top of not having any parents. But she deserved to know. "What do you mean that's not what happened?" Alex asks, placing another kiss to the top of my head. "You'll hate me Alex, it was all my fault." Alex squeezes me tight, "That is not possible Ally, I could never hate you, and I love you no matter what remember." I just shake my head, "You don't know, don't you see Alex, we were on the way home from my dance practice, if I hadn't started doing dancing we never would have been at those lights and mum would still be here. And we were arguing, the last thing I said to mum was that it wasn't fair." I shudder at the memory, "I wanted to be apart of the troupe at dancing but mum said I had to wait until next year as she didn't want me travelling around the country without her and she had too many weekend conferences this year. I was so angry with her and she was angry with me. The last thing she felt towards me was anger, she told me that it was the best she could offer and I just said it wasn't fair." I turned to put my face into Alex's arms. "That doesn't mean it was your fault Ally, you were just annoyed and that's okay. I would have been annoyed if I was you. But that doesn't mean mum dying is your fault." Alex said quietly. "But"

"Nope, I'm not finished, maybe you would not have been on that road at that time, but anyone anywhere could have run a red light and crashed into mum. I think Mums' last feeling towards you was love, not anger; she wanted to keep you safe. That is why your side of the car was okay; I think she made sure that you would live. So it is not your fault. It was the driver of the other car and it was a horrible accident, but is not your fault Ally." Alex used her hand to gently but firmly pull my chin up to look at her, but I keep looking down. "Ally, please look at me, this is very important." I slowly bring my eyes to look at her, through my glassy eyes I can see that she is also on the brink of tears too.

"This accident was in not way your fault and mum would not want you to blame yourself. As for Kara, and me we do not blame you and we love you. We can ring Kara and ask her right now, but I'm sure she would say the same thing as me. I want you to say it Ally, say that it was not your fault."

I wipe some of the tears from me eyes, "But"

Alex cuts me off, "No buts, it was not your fault, say it." I look into her eyes, she isn't going to let this go, and she looks fierce with determination. In a shaky breath I repeat the phrase, "It wasn't my fault," I don't believe it though. Alex moves her hand from my chin and pulls me to her tightly. "I know you might not really believe that right now Ally, but it is the truth and I will say that to you until you believe it, because you deserve nothing but the best, you are a sweet, kind, loving person and you better believe that mum knows that to." I hold onto Alex as more tears fall from my eyes. She sways with me in her arms. I know Maggie is probably wondering where she went, but I don't want to let go of her. She is holding me together; I will fall apart without her. Alex and Kara are my glue at the moment and they are keeping me going. "I love you," I say to Alex, not sure how else to convey how much she means to me.

"I love you too Ally, you are amazing and I can't wait to see what you do with your life." I clutch to Alex, not ready to let her go.


Alex Danvers

I hold Ally close to me. It is clear that she isn't ready to let go yet. My shirt is damp from a mixture of both our tears. I can't believe she had been holding onto this for so long. I feel terrible for not getting her to open up sooner. I know she won't feel better until she hears from both Kara and I that we do not blame her. But right now I hold her close hoping to show her that there is no way it is her fault.

I look back towards my bedroom; Maggie and I had both heard Ally screaming for Mum as she woke up from her nightmare. I had told Maggie to stay in bed and run out straight away. I gently call, "Maggie," she appears at the door of the bedroom, "Hey babe, can you please grab my phone and call Kara and ask if she can come over for a little bit?" Maggie looks at Ally, it is clear from the tear marks down her face that she had heard everything that has been said. "Yeah, I think that is a good idea, I'm sure she would want to be here." I nod my head.

"No, please don't call her she has work tomorrow, I don't want to cause her more problems," Ally says, finally moving her face from being buried in my shirt. "Ally, Kara would want to be here," I look to Maggie, "Maggie will ask first if she is busy." Ally puts her face back into my shirt as a fresh wave of tears start falling, she mumbles "Okay".

Kara is knocking on the door of the apartment within three minutes of Maggie first calling her.

Seriously does she want to tell Ally tonight that she is an alien? Luckily Ally is too preoccupied with everything else that she doesn't even think about that fact that Kara got here way too quickly.

Kara immediately comes to joins us on the couch. Maggie puts the kettle on and walks back into the bedroom to give us some space. I look at Kara over the top of Ally's head, "thanks for coming, were you close by as you got here quickly," Kara freezes for a second trying to think of something, "Um actually yeah I was at a friends place who lives around the corner." I give Kara a smirk; she really is a terrible liar.

I lean back so I can see Ally's face, "Do you want to tell Kara what you said or should I tell her?" Ally buries her face back into me. "Ill tell her, I'm the one to blame," I let out a sigh at her words, "You are not to blame and I'm sure Kara will agree with me when you tell her." I lift Ally up and turn her around so she is looking at Kara. Kara reaches out to hold Ally's hand, which she accepts.


Kara Danvers

"I'm sorry," Ally says, I squeeze her hand and wipe the tears from her eyes. "What are you sorry about Ally?" She takes in a deep breath, "I'm sorry for killing our mum, I mean I know she wasn't your birth mother but she was your mum too."

"Ally you had nothing to do with Eliza dying. It was a driver that ran a red light. It was a terrible accident, but it was not your fault. Why do you think it is your fault?" I want to know what is causing her to think this way so I can remove any doubts from her mind. "It is my fault Kara, we were on the way home from my dance lessons and she was arguing with me. Maybe if we weren't arguing she would have been able to stop quicker."

"Oh Ally," I say pulling her to me in a hug; I hold her close for a few seconds. "It was not your fault, if mum was driving me home from somewhere would you blame me?"

She shakes her head, "But it wasn't you Kara it was me and we were arguing about me waiting a year before joining the troupe at dancing."

I move back so I'm look at her, "That's not what I asked, if it was me in the car with mum, just think about it, would you blame me?"

Her shoulders slump, and she shakes her head, "No I wouldn't blame you."

I give her a small smile, "Exactly, so how is it fair to blame yourself for something that you wouldn't blame someone else for. It sucks, it is unfair and I hate that she is gone. But this is very important Ally, it is not your fault, so you cannot blame yourself." I pull her close again to give her a hug, I feel Alex hug me from behind.

"Alex and I love you way too much Ally to let you think you are to blame for this and Eliza would not want you to blame yourself. Eliza is one of the most kind hearted people I have ever met and she would want you to be happy." Alex rests her head on my back reaching her arms around me to hug Ally too. "She is right Ally, we love you and mum would not want you to blame yourself." Alex says softly.

We hold each other tightly for a few minutes, until I stop feeling tears fall on my top from Ally. "I think we should all have some hot chocolate, because that makes everything better, what do you think Ally?"

She sits up drying her eyes, "Can we have whipped cream?" I nod my head but Alex interrupts me, "I don't know if I have any whipped cream, I'm not even sure I have milk." This time my shoulders slump, "Well I guess we will have to look and see." I get up and go to the fridge, "There is milk and it looks like there will be enough for three, maybe four if Maggie wants one?" I look to Alex, "No, Maggie is okay she has gone back to bed." I nod in understanding, Maggie is giving us some space for some sister really is considerate.

I leave Alex to make the hot chocolates, knowing that she was actually the best out of the three of us at making them. I pick Ally up and sit down on a kitchen stool with Ally on my lap, I'm not ready to let go of her yet, we watch Alex from the bench. "This place really is great, I think I will be calling you Ally if I ever have to move. You picked the perfect place for you and Alex." She leans back into me, playing with my hands; I really hope she isn't still thinking that the accident is her fault. "I think we all had a part in picking this place."

She looks up at me, "Will you still help me set up my new room, and can you send Alex the document we made on your computer so she can see what I was thinking of doing?" I smile down at her, "Of course I can I will do it when I get home, I think it will look great, though it may take a bit of time to find all of those different pieces of furniture." She nods her head, "Yeah you're probably right but it will be worth the wait." Alex carries the hot chocolates over to the bench, "So I know the TV isn't set up yet, but I do know that I have Gilmore Girls at the top of one of my boxes and my laptop handy, so we could watch a couple of episodes, and have a sister night on the couch, what do you think?" Ally sits up eagerly, "Yes, that would be great! We haven't had a fun sisters night with all three of us in ages!" I try to think of the last time the three of us had a fun night, it was probably a few months ago when Ally came to stay in the city with us. "I agree I think it is long over due. Alex goes to grab her laptop whilst Ally and I go and settle onto the couch. I sit on one side, Ally leans her head against my knees, and when Alex finishes setting up the first disc of season one she sits on the opposite side lifting Ally's feet up to lean on her. Throughout the first episode we drink our delicious hot chocolate. By half way through the second episode Ally is asleep. I turn to Alex, "Thanks for calling me I'm really glad you did." She looks down at Ally, moving some hair gently from her face, "I can't believe she had been holding onto that guilt for nearly three weeks. Maybe we should get her a therapist." I shake my head, "Alex she had to figure out how she was feeling before she could tell us what she was feeling, I think you did an amazing job getting her to open up, and you realized she needed me to confirm what you were saying so you asked for help. Not many people would do that. As for the therapist I still think we should see how she goes, you always knew what to say to me and I never had a therapist, you are more capable then you give yourself credit for. And you are an adult now, with a doctors degree as well, back then you were just a teenager." She shrugs her shoulders, "I guess we can wait and see. I didn't always know what to say to you and my degree only required my to do a few psychology units so I'm not really all that up to date on the best things to say and do but we will see. Maybe once she is enrolled in school we can ask the school counselor." I nod, "I think that makes sense." I look down at Ally, I really need to get back to my apartment, there isn't anywhere for me to sleep here and I have a busy day at Catco. "Do you think she will mind if I go, I have a big day tomorrow?" Alex looks down at her too. "No I think she will understand, you go, I will sleep here with her tonight encase she wakes up again, but I think she has got it all out, for tonight anyway. Unfortunately I think she will have nightmares for a while." I think of the nightmares I still have of when Krypton exploded, "I wish we could erase that night from her memory."

"I agree with you there sis." Alex replies.

"Okay I'm going to go then, I will ring you tomorrow." I say gently moving Ally so she is leaning on the couch, I place a kiss to her forehead, then lean over to give Alex a hug, "Bye" I say before leaving from the balcony.


Disclaimer: All characters except Ally belong to DC

Thanks for reading :) If you have time it would be great to hear what you think of this chapter or what you would like to see happen next. I do have a plan for this story but it would be great to put in some things that you would like to read too, I hope you all have a good week!