Chapter 12.

There were several defining moments in my life. My memories of them were vivid.

Waking up on the Psions experimentation table beside my sister and brother, such terrible agony roping down my arms and my hands on fire. The screams of pain from my brother, the probes inside his body, burning flesh, jerking body. The smell of the blood and bile in the air. Anger so fierce, I could not control myself. The whole room burning with green, purple and white fire. The taste of freedom. My brother's tears as he wept on my shoulder. The only time my sister and I truly bonded.

The torture chambers inside the Gordanian transport ship. It had taken more than a hundred of the worms to detain me enough to bind my hands and in the end I only yielded because I had brought the time for Wildfire to escape. A barbed whip slicing against my flesh as I paid for my defiance. Wetness and pain and loss. The pale light of their healing pods as I recovered only to face the barb again. The anger surfaced again, hot and vile, it surged through my veins, wrapped its tendrils around my heart. It had helped fuel my escape.

The same anger existed when Blackfire attempted to marry me off to the slug. It was muted, tangled on a leash because she was family, but it lurked beneath the surface and gave me strength.

The first time I met Robin was also a defining moment, although the anger had not existed then. The click of the shackles, his hesitant, endearing smile. He saved me from a fate worse than death.

I knew, with absolute certainty, the man below could not be my Robin.

The familiar warrior fury swelled. I planted my feet on the ground and would not allow Red X to drag me away. My back was stiff, straight, every muscle clenched. The edge of my vision turned green as I flooded myself with energy. My gloves burnt to a crisp as my hands clawed around my starbolts.

There was the resounding sound of a slap below us, followed by Batgirl's indignant shriek, but it was not enough.

"Let. Go." Truly, I did not wish to hurt Red X. He had been a good friend.

"Starfire—"

A quick movement. I grabbed his wrist and twisted, struggling to hold back my strength so I would not break it. One hand to his elbow as I pulled him off balance, then on his chest as I forced him to the ground. I planted a boot on his stomach. "You need to run," I snarled, then launched myself over the edge of the building.

The Not-Robin was dismally unprepared for my attack. If he was my Robin, he would have been, no matter what. I have seen my Robin go from tender smiles and pecks into direct attack.

Three blows, stomach, solar plexus, nose, and the Not-Robin was flat on his back, writhing in pain. I sat on his stomach, my knees on either side of him and pressed a glowing hand to his chest. I curled my fingers. "Move and I will tear out your heart."

The Not-Robin shrieked in pain. I felt remorseful for a moment, but that regret quickly disappeared as I got a good look at his features. The chin was too square. The cheekbones to shallow. Although his age was similar, his face was the wrong shape, his body was wrong. Why had I not noticed this before?

"Who are you?" I snarled.

"Get her off me!"

Movement from the corner of my eye, a black heeled boot. Anger sharpened clarity. I threw back my free arm, grabbed Batgirl's boot before she could kick me. Using her momentum, I threw her over my head and slammed her into the concrete on the other side of me. "Stay down," I warned her and turned my attention back to the Not-Robin. I twisted the hand on his chest, like I was opening a door. Armour ripped. "Who are you? What have you done with Robin?"

The Not-Robin feebly tried to punch me. Scoffing at his attempt, I battered his hand away then gripped his throat. The Not-Robin struggled with my hand, his face going red but I was as immovable as stone. Blood bubbled from his nose, dribbled over his cheek.

"Starfire! Stop!"

I ignored Red X's voice. I was determined to get my answers. "Where is Robin?"

Batgirl lurched to her feet, shaking her head as she did so. She raised her fists, swaying. While I appreciated her courage, she would not stop me. I snarled at her, preparing to fire my eyebeams. I paused, noting the distance between Batgirl and the edge of the building. With her swaying, I did not believe she would be cognitive enough to prevent her fall. This was not her fault. I would have to find another way to detain her.

"Koriand'r!"

The use of my Tamaranian name gave me a moment's pause. There were not many who knew that name. I loosened my hold on the Not-Robin's throat, enough for him to breathe without restraint but not enough for him to escape, as I turned my head.

Red X stood several paces away, watching me. He had his arms stretched out as though he could ward off an attack and his legs were apart and braced.

Batman loomed behind him, his hand reaching for Red X's shoulder.

I sucked in a startled breath. Before I was even aware I was moving, I reacted to the danger befallen on Red X. Moving up and past Red X, I gripped his shoulder and spun him away from Batman, raising my wrist to block Batman's hand at the same time.

Batman was faster than I was. In a move similar to the ones I had used on the Not-Robin, he landed two blows, my stomach then just below my neck. He barely even rippled his cape to strike me, although it seemed his blows were designed to shock, rather than hurt. His hand closed around the wrist I had used to block his strike against Red X and he twisted, forcing my arm up behind me. "Calm down," he told me, then released me with a small shove.

I staggered, stumbled. I sucked in a gasp as what I had done registered. I had just attacked the Batman. For a brief moment I contemplated flying out of there, but then I would never find out where my Robin was. Nor would I be able to return to the Tower and see my friends again. I had to answer for what I did.

I took a deep breath and choked on a sob. Straightening, I turned around to face him with my head high. There was no worse that he could do to me that had not already been done. I could survive anything.

Red X was still there, he had not taken the opportunity to flee and I regretted I had not done more.

Batman regarded me, as though he still expected attack, then shifted his gaze to the Not-Robin still lying on the floor. "All of you. Come."

The Not-Robin began to protest, his hand on his bleeding nose. "But—"

"Quietly," Batman said, his voice soft but still somehow containing the hidden fury of rolling thunder.

Like petulant puppies, Batgirl and the Not-Robin preceded after Batman as he turned and leapt upward to the next building. I hesitated, hugging my arms to myself. The fury had faded, leaving me uncertain and emotionally fragile. Red X approached me warily, and I gave him a watery smile, even if he could not see it. "I am sorry."

"Don't be," he said, and put his arm around me. "We have some explaining to do."

"We?"

The world shimmered as Red X teleported us up to the next apartment block. I gasped as we appeared beside Batman.

"Safe house two," Batman said. "Wait for me."

Red X nodded. He lifted his hand from around my waist until it covered my eyes, curling my head down toward his chest. "Sorry," he said.

Red X was working for Batman, I just did not know for what purpose. I remained quiet, passive. I do not know why. Perhaps because I sensed answers were coming, perhaps I was in shock. Whatever the reason, I allowed Red X to cover my eyes and take me wherever was needed.

"Just a sec," he said after I counted at least three shimmers. He removed his hand from my face, but I kept my eyes closed.

A mechanical voice droned, "Access code verified." There was a clang, a grating sound as something opened then. I felt a rush of warm air as we took a few steps and Red X released me.

Blinking, I looked around as Red X walked away. A dimly lit room. Rather small. There were no windows that I could see and the only door was behind me. There was a metallic cupboard the far wall. The centre of the room was filled with computer screens, arranged in a semicircle around, a single chair and keyboard. It was here that Red X walked to, pressing a couple of keys and I watched as screens flickered and powered up.

A monitoring station, like the one Robin had in Jump City.

Then Red X was back before me, holding out a box of tissues. "Here."

I blinked at him, then realised my cheeks were damp. "Thank you," I said taking the box from him. I moved away, crossing to a wall. I rested my back against it and slid down to sit on the floor, pulling of my mask as I did. There was no point in leaving it on, I was caught anyway. Although I would have loved to sit there and have a good cry, I knew I could not, so I took several tissues from the box and wiped my face and blew my nose.

Red X sat stood beside me. "This is not going to be pretty," he said.

"Who are you?"

"Haven't figured that out yet?" he asked.

I numbly shook my head and stared at the floor.

"It'll come," he said, turning his head to the door as Batman stalked through. "Just stay quiet." Red X griped my shoulder briefly then walked to the door. I watched as he locked it after Batgirl and the Not-Robin entered. The Not-Robin seemed to have quelled his bleeding nose on the journey here, but his face was still covered in blood.

"Okay, what the fuck is going on?" the Not-Robin snapped immediately, jabbing his finger at Red X. "Why is he here? That's the dick from we've been chasing all week." He turned, jabbing a finger at me next. "And that bitch just tried to kill me. Are you harbouring criminals now?"

"He is here at my invitation," Batman said. "He's the test. One in which you both failed."

"Both?" Batgirl asked.

Batman inclined his head. "Your leadership. His dedication. Red X agreed to help out by being an adversary that wouldn't try and kill you. That way I could judge your skills. You failed."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Batgirl protested. "Why'd you have me babysit?"

"If you'd known it was a test, you would have responded differently. I needed an honest reaction."

"You're so full of shit," the Not-Robin spat at the same time Batgirl cried, "Honest? You call this honest?"

"You didn't fare much better, Batgirl," Batman continued, his tone stern. "You failed to rally Robin into patrolling. You failed to apprehend Red X. You failed to notice how unstable a walkway was and the criminal you were chasing had to save you. You failed to notice you were being watched by three different people. And you let your guard down."

"If I'd known a hundred pounds of pissed off leather clad chick was going to try and kill Robin I would have been more prepared!" She rounded on me. "What the hell is Starfire doing here anyway?"

"Starfire?" the Not-Robin said, looking at me with undisguised interest, then laughed. "Oh, he's going to be so pissed."

I curled up tighter.

"None of us knew she was going to do that," Batman told them, drawing back their attention. "Not that it matters. You need to be prepared to react to any situation. You weren't."

Batgirl and the Not-Robin started yelling at Batman, obscenities and denials, claims of unfairness while Batman impassively rebuffed them. Red X was suspiciously quiet, his arms folded on his chest as he watched them. I stood, my eyes fixed on him while the others continued to argue.

It could not be true. It just could not. I could not think, I had to know for certain. He told me I would figure it out, but my mind would not comprehend the solution staring me in the face.

No one looked at me. No one noticed as I walked across the room, grabbed Red X's shoulders and spun him around to face me. His arms dropped from his chest to dangle by his sides. My hand went to his mask and he did not even try to stop me as I lifted the skull until it sat on top of his head.

It was my Robin. My Robin hidden beneath the Red X mask. His eyes were so blue, so handsome. I would know that face anywhere.

My Robin, who had recognised me beneath the costume within moments of seeing me and yet still concealed his identity from me. My Robin, who had spent the last few days flirting and teasing me, stealing my thong and making me feel things I had been unprepared for. Who had been slowly undermining my relationship with him. Eroding feelings. Creating confusion. Messing with my emotions.

He had lied to me. Over and over again. Betrayed me and led me to think I was betraying him.

I slapped him.

He stared at me in shock, his hand rising to cover his face.

Conversation in the room died, the Not-Robin and Batgirl staring at me from over my Robin's shoulder in opened mouth surprise. Except for Batman, he looked almost amused.

I heaved in a shuddering breath. Then another as I tried to contain myself but it was no use. I thumped him on the chest so hard he staggered backward. "You clorbag varblernelk, sud ny bobnsar! Was this the game to you? Do you know what you put me through?"

"Star—"

"No!" I cried, stabbing at him with a finger. "No! You do the shutting up. You knew how worried I have been about you. And you have been treating my feelings like they were worth nothing. Flirting with me as Red X, you knew who I was, why did you not tell who you were?"

"I—"

I was lifting off the ground I was so angry. I was most likely glowing in my fury as well. "You just continued, I asked you stop and you did not and you stole my thong and we talked about things I was not prepared to speak to you about and now I find out that you are you and I have been hating myself and feeling the guilt and you have been laughing at me!"

"Ahh—"

"How dare you do this to me! You have no right to betray me like this! You are the manipulating zardnarf." Tears cascaded over my cheeks. "You are not Robin. You are not Red X. Who are you?"

"My—"

I grabbed the back of his neck and yanked him forward, crushing our lips together. His hands seized me, gripped at me as he kissed me back with just as much force. He tugged me back down until I was standing, and then clutched me closer.

"Woah," the Not-Robin muttered. "Not good."

My Robin pulled away. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

I stooped and I buried my face in his chest, clinging to him. "Oh, I have missed you so much."

"Ahh, what's going on?" Batgirl asked.

"My name is Dick," my Robin began.

"Wait, Dick?" Batgirl cried.

"Bro?" the Not-Robin asked. "What the hell?"

Dick stroked my back. "And I promise to explain everything—"

"Don't you ignore me, fuckhead!" the Not-Robin yelled. "You have some explaining to do to me first, not that bi—"

I unbalanced, teetering as Dick left me. There was the sound of flesh hitting flesh, the Not-Robin hit the floor and then Dick had me in his arms again, holding me up by the waist. "Don't you ever think about calling her anything. You've been Robin less than three weeks and already you've fucked up my hard earned reputation."

Batman cleared his throat.

Dick snarled as he addressed Batman. "I agreed to hand over the Robin persona as long as he respected what the costume represents. I've seen nothing that would indicate he does. If I even thought about pulling some of the stunts he's been doing while I was pretending to be you, you'd have my head. You fucked up."

Big, wet tears dripped down my cheeks. My hands covered my mouth as I curled into Dick's side. I was emotionally distraught; so much was happening and so fast, I did not understand.

"Bro, you hit me!" the Not-Robin cried and leapt to his feet.

"Don't call me that," Dick snarled, jabbing his finger at the Not-Robin. "You are a fucking joke. You're not ready for this type of life, and I don't care if you say you are. You don't pay attention. You don't care about others. You're only in it for yourself. Being Robin is not a game!"

"Hey, fuck you!"

"Use your brain! You knew I was in town. Both of you knew. Did you really think I was just going watch while I was here? Stay cooped up in the Batcave like a good little boy?"

"Boys," Batman scolded.

Dick rounded on Batman again. "I don't think he can do this, no matter what you think."

"And you're the fucking golden boy," the Not-Robin yelled. "Nothing I do can compare with how brilliant you were the first time you tried it. Face it; it's time for a new Robin to sit on the throne."

"Throne?" Dick yelled, his voice shrill. "It's not a fucking kingdom. Oh, look, I'm King of the Robins," he said sarcastically. "It doesn't work that way. Robin is mine! He came from my family, my parents. I created him. Is that why you were flirting with Batgirl so much? Because you thought she was mine and you just had to have that too? Some sort of kickback that comes from being Robin?"

"Yeah," Batgirl echoed, unimpressed as she folded her arms across her chest and frowned at the Not-Robin. "What's with that?"

The Not-Robin opened his mouth to speak but Dick waved his hand. "No, I don't want to know, that's for you two to sort out." Dick addressed Batman now. "You're heading for disaster if you take him on as Robin. He's going to get himself killed."

"That is not your decision," Batman said.

"You asked me for my opinion. You practically begged me to assist with the transition. You replaced me and the only reason I'm here is so you can take the Robin mantle from me!"

"This was what you wanted," Batman said, stoic. "No more ties. All your talk about Nightwing, and you're fighting with me over being replaced now? You gave up a long time ago."

I jerked. Nightwing?

"What about her?" the Not-Robin spat vehemently. "She tried to kill me! She's not even supposed to be here!"

"Starfire knows me!" Dick yelled. "You've been screwing up too much, of course she'd come investigate."

"Or you told her. Couldn't handle being without your fuck buddy, huh?"

Batman cuffed the Not-Robin. "Starfire showed courage and ingenuity. Show some respect."

"Especially for someone who can rip your heart out with her bare hands," Dick spat. "Also, I owe you for kicking my girlfriend in the face and stabbing her in the back with a fucking birdarang. You don't fucking throw the steel cutters at people!"

The Not-Robin scoffed. "I saw her on the computer. She called you 'Robin'. Only that doesn't apply to you anymore. I bet she came all this way to see me." He leered. "Hey, baby, wanna ff—"

Dick moved us forward and punched the Not-Robin's jaw. "You little shit."

The Not-Robin snarled and threw himself at Dick. Dick twisted, placing me behind him and went to kick the Not-Robin.

"You're both out of line," Batman said. He grabbed Dick's foot with one hand, the Not-Robin's fist with the other hand and shoved them apart. "Go, cool off. We'll talk when you have a level head."

The Not-Robin scowled. "I'm going for a smoke," he snapped. The door groaned as he opened it and he kicked it on his way through.

Batman turned to place a hand on Dick's shoulder. "You too."

"Yeah, well, I'm not finished kicking his ass," Dick said, looking like he was ready to go after the Not-Robin. I took his arm, not wanting him to go anywhere. He turned to look at me and winced. "Oh."

"I'm still not done with you," Batgirl snapped, marching over to Batman.

"Starfire," Dick began carefully.

I released his arm regarding him, my eyes still leaking tears. I pressed my lips together and walked back over to the box of tissues and slumped against the wall beside it. I bent my knees up to my chest and plucked a couple of tissues from the box.

Dick walked over and sat in front of me, scooting as close as he could and wrapped his arms around my legs, pressing his chest to them. "I'm sorry."

I sniffled. "So… your name is Dick?"

He nodded. "Hi."

I was confused. "Greetings. Um… is that not also… er… slang?"

He pulled a face. "Yeah. It is. Okay, if you want to get technical, my name is Richard. But no one calls me that, not even my mother called me that. It's just Dick. Which makes you calling me a bobsnar really funny."

I did not find it terribly amusing. "Very well, Dick. Explain."

Dick rested his cheek on my knee, hissed, then turned his face the other way. I winced and clenched shut my eyes. "Batman asked me to come help and train Jason, he's the one in the Robin suit at the moment and my adopted brother, sort of. Batman's been training him to take over from me and Jason's been getting impatient, wanting to take over the role properly. There can't be two Robin's so I had to come home."

"You wanted to move to Nightwing," I said, opening my eyes again.

"Yes, but I couldn't do that without you, Nightwing's your idea, and I wanted to make sure Robin would go to good hands. I've worked hard on Robin; I couldn't just give it up."

I pulled a tissue from the box and nodded, dabbing at my eyes.

"Batman's been having issues with Jason. You saw them on the videos. He has anger management issues, he blows up at the slightest provocation. He was a street kid before this, used to dealing with life the hard way. It's been a bit of an adjustment for all of us. I couldn't tell you, not until everything was going smoothly. There was, and still is, a chance Batman will say no."

The problem with being Tamaranian was when we allowed our emotions to become unbalanced, often we have trouble finding stability again. I was distressed and confused, my emotions tumbling out of control. I could not stop the tears from falling, even though I tried. I was just glad I could speak through them. "Oh."

"Batman forbade me from telling you. I wanted to. I'm sorry."

"And Red X? The Quicksilver Hand?"

"A ruse. Jason was supposed to crack it, but I thought… I could use it on you too. Once I figured out you were here, I was stunned. You didn't want me to know, you'd gone to all this trouble and you weren't interfering, just watching. I knew you were worried. I thought… I don't know what I thought, but I didn't want to let you leave. I enjoyed sneaking around with you like we did."

I swallowed. "I am sorry I did not recognise you."

"Hey, you didn't know," he said, soothingly. "Full face mask makes it hard, plus you had preconceptions of Red X. I was dropping all the wrong hints and you told me you never got close to Jason to tell. We do look similar from a distance. That was part of the reason we thought he could be Robin."

"Why all the flirting?"

He gave me a smile. "I like flirting with you. I love your reactions."

"Yes, but I did not know it was you."

"At first, I wanted to keep the persona of Red X, I couldn't just blurt it out, you wouldn't have understood. And my hands were tied by Batman. But then you started responding, and I couldn't stop."

"I felt so guilty," I whispered. "Because my body responded to you in ways I could not understand. I thought I was betraying you."

He kissed my knee. "I think you knew on some level it was me. You wouldn't have gone with me otherwise. I didn't mean for it to go as far as I did. I was trying to find a way to tell you, if you'd let me take off my mask before to kiss you, you would've known. I tried to tell you, so many times. I was taking you back to X's place to do just that, we were bringing you in. I'm really sorry."

I winced, remembering what had happened in the air ducts, and then, "X'hal, we talked about sex."

Dick's smile was strained. "You were really open. Sweetheart, why couldn't you talk about that with me? Is it because of the mask?"

I nodded.

"It's off now," he said and smirked.

I rolled my eyes. "Boys." I considered. "I guess, in hindsight, that conversation is not as the 'icky' as I thought it was."

Dick flushed. "Yeeeeah. Maybe we should talk about this when we're alone?"

I nodded and glanced over at the bickering Batgirl and a bored Batman. "Have I angered the Batman?"

Dick sighed. "He wasn't impressed when I told him you'd come, and I had to tell him, because otherwise he would have come after you himself. But no, I don't think so."

"Have I angered you?"

He was quick to reassure. "Oh, no, Star. No, of course not."

I folded a tissue into a square and dabbed my face.

"I'm so sorry, this is a lot to deal with. Still, I loved seeing you kick Jason's ass."

"I thought he had done something to you. I knew you would not do something like that and everything was wrong and I did not understand and—"

"Star, it's okay," he hugged my legs tighter.

I closed my eyes, resting my head back against the wall.

"Are you mad at me?"

"I do not know," I said. "I am feeling too many emotions right now to tell. I was prepared to deal with your anger at all this and you are not angry and… it was you… I… I cannot tell what I feel. I think I am mostly relieved." I gently placed a hand on his cheek. "I am sorry I hit you."

Dick chuckled. "I think I deserved that."

"Still, I should not have—" My eyes widened. I tilted my knees to the side, my hands reaching for Dick's shirt while he looked alarmed.

"What?"

"I hurt you!"

Dick twisted away, attempting to conceal it from me. "It's fine."

I was anguished. "Is it bad?"

"No. You scratched me, that's all."

I wilted.

Dick shifted, moving until he was beside me, then pulled my legs so they were over the top of his, curling his hands around my waist to pull me closer. I buried my face in his neck. "I'll show you later, okay? Besides, you did what you were supposed to do, there's no harm in that."

"I might have killed you."

"But you didn't."

"Oh, I should not have come," I murmured, distressed.

"I'm so glad you did."

Crying was weakness and I was ashamed I had succumbed to it in Batman's presence. I struggled to compose myself, wiping the tears from my face. Dick rubbed my back, crooning at me about how sorry he was for all this. Eventually, when my crying subsided, he began placing little pecks against my skin as he made his way toward my mouth. He cupped my cheek and kissed me. He broke away for a moment to look me in the eyes. "For the record, I love you too."


Author's Note:

No, really. It didn't happen like that. Red X is really "Barry", Larry's evil counterpart. Barry controls his universe by virtue of a magic… flirtation technique, isn't that right, Vylette?

'kay, now everyone go back and read the last few chapters with this knowledge. Makes it all more fun.

DickKori, you had me screeching a couple of chapters ago. Damn it, I thought I was being tricky.

All of you who figured it out, well done ^_^.

Also, at Kater's "OMG IF YOU DON'T DO THIS I WILL DIE" insistence, I have written "Beneath the Mask", Dick's thoughts from the moment he realised it was Starfire, until she broke his face. It has a bit more background on what Dick was doing in Gotham. We get to find out why he did what he did.

It's finished and you have two options. I won't do it as a separate story simply because I don't want to spoil it for people that haven't read this as they're waiting for me to finish.

1. I can post it at the end of Masks, bearing in mind we go straight from here into the real guts of the story and there are many cliffhangers in a row. Sorry.
2. We can take a break from the current story line and go straight to Dick's POV. His is six chapters long, one for each chapter Red X appears and there's a lot of repeated dialogue, as well as other things you haven't seen. Then I'll go back and we can get to the guts of the story.

It's up to you. Majority rules.

Wow, that's rather unprofessional of me. However, its the first time I've done something like this, and it's supposed to be fun. It's fanfiction, and you're the fans.