Kara is angrily punching the concrete blocks. "Hey what is wrong?", she asks carefully.
"I don't know how to do this. I don't have hope anymore. Since I became Supergirl everyone is slowly taken away. John is barely showing up anymore, Winn is gone, Mon-El is gone, my friendship with Lena is in shards, James left to find Clark, who I don't know if he is still alive, I can't save Alex and every time I leave the DEO, I am scared of being turned into a red Kryptonite monster, thanks to Max. Not even taking the missing Kryptonite and Harn-El into consideration. They have taken everything that used to make me feel good, everything I used to fight for, all the things that gave me strength. I don't know how to do this anymore, maybe I should stop being Supergirl altogether. Just live a normal live like I used to do."
She needs to breath, and wipes away the tears that have stated to fall.
"I became Supergirl, because I thought using my powers would make me feel more normal, it would give my life sense. But all it brought me recently is loss. As soon as we find Alex and Clark, I am done."
"You don't mean that!", Lucy says.
"Yes, I do! I am done pretending to be okey when I am not! I am done solving others people's problems! I am done of being constantly attacked or putting the people I care about in danger!"
Supergirl leaves the room slamming the door behind her.
While they where talking Lena had come in to get an update on the search. When she couldn't find Lucy one of the agents sent her down to the training area. Where she catches the end of the conversation between Lucy and Supergirl. Supergirl doesn't even pay attention to her as she storms out. When Lucy comes out of the training room she asks. "Do you have any news on the search?" "Unfortunately, not. We had a lead but it turned out empty." "Is that why she was so upset?", Lena asks pointing in the direction Supergirl left. "Probably everything that has been going on. It was just the tip of the ice berg.", Lucy answers. Lena sighs "I let you do your job." She leaves without waiting for a reaction.
That evening Supergirl is half standing half sitting on the coach on the balcony at CatCo looking out into the city when Lena walks in to check on some things before she goes home. After 15 minutes she is finished and ready to leave. She is about to head out of James office when she sees Supergirl on the balcony. Lena makes her way out to the balcony. "Supergirl?!", she says surprised. Supergirl turns her head to see Lena sanding in the door. "Lena?! I didn't know you where here.", she replies. Supergirl gets up to leave. "Oh, no please stay I didn't mean to scare you of. What are you doing here?", Lena asks not being able to piece together why Supergirl would be here.
Supergirl mumbles more to herself than Lena: "I remember all of them." Lena walks over to Supergirl and tries to pick up the conversation "Who? Who do you remember?" "The people I saved. I remember them all, every single one of them.", Supergirl now speaks a bit louder so Lena can hear her clearly. There is something in her voice that Lena can't quite place. 'Is it sadness, regret?' Lena tries to place Supergirl's tone. Then she remembers the conversation Lena overheard at the DEO:
"I became Supergirl, because I thought using my powers would make me feel more normal, it would give my life sense. But all it brought me recently is loss. As soon as we find Alex and Clark, I am done."
"You don't mean that!"
"Yes, I do! I am done pretending to be ok when I am not! I am done solving others people's problem! I am done of being constantly attacked or putting the people I care about in danger!"
They stay in silence for serval moments. Lena trying to make sense of the things she heard earlier that day and what she sees now. Finally, she speaks: "I may have heard you and Lucy earlier today, what you said about not wanting to be Supergirl anymore. Is that true?". Lena holds her breath hoping she hasn't overstepped.
After a moment Supergirl takes a deep breath. "It just has been a difficult week, and most of the people that usually support me are not here. I don't know how to do this without them. I have always relied on them, trusted them to be there. And now they left me like my parents did. I don't know if I can get them back. I am afraid I am going to lose what is most important to me.", she pauses.
Kara can feel how her throat tightens. She needs to swallow tries to hold back her tears. Lena notices the tension and sadness that raises in Supergirl. She can't believe that this usually strong woman, is so valuable all of a sudden. But she is even more surprised that she opens up to her. 'She is a Luther and Supergirl trusts her with her feelings?! Supergirl the woman that was so upset with her about the Kryptonite, the one who tried to convince James to go behind her back. And now she talks to her about her feelings! How did that happen?' Lena stays in silence somewhere deep down, she still hopes that one day they can be friends again. She admires the way people see Supergirl and she wants to be part of that.
"Did you think about it before, I mean putting down the cape?", Lena breaks the silence. "Many times.", Supergirl replies. "What stopped you?" Supergirl looks up into the sky. "My friends, my family, Cat", she answers with her focus on the night sky. "Cat?", Lena asks with a frown.
Supergirl keeps looking up. "Whenever I felt lost, I could come here and she would know. She always knew what to say.". "What about your friends do they know that your Supergirl?", Lena keeps asking. She is curies to understand what makes that hero. "Some of them do, some don't. Ironically though especially those that don't know make me strong. They are just there for me without expecting me to be a hero."
They stay silent for a long time, just watching the stars. Than Lena says "Well I am not Cat. But I don't think you should put the cape down, even if it is hard. Especially the things that aren't easy are the things worth fighting for."
Supergirl smiles a weak smile more to herself than to Lena and then takes off, leaving Lena alone on the balcony.
Lena heads back home. She needs to process what just happened. She was just reminded even the strongest want to give up some day. What would it be like if she had to publish at CatCo that Supergirl isn't going to come back. She doesn't want to think of National City without its hero. Is would be strange, she only knows the city with Supergirl flying around.
