Warning smut ahead: I was wondering if it was socially acceptable for me to write them in yet another sex scene... But apparently, according to popular demand, it would be socially irresponsible not to write them in yet another sex scene. So there you go.

In which Arya. Margaery and Sansa crash Gendry's Bachelor Party

"Well gents, it's good to be back at the Wall!" Jon declared with a drunken relish, sloshing his drink as he thrust it towards the heavens before sloshing it down.

"Here here!" Robb slurred, trying to raise his empty shot glass and failing. Gendry had never seen someone get so plastered, so quickly. Robb, apparently, was a complete lightweight. Not that it stopped him. "I am here to PARTY!" he had declared earlier that evening, and party he did.

"ANOTHER!" He bellowed at the bartender, who jumped violently as he slammed his shot glass so hard on the bar that it shattered. "Oh, sorry mate."

"Where'd you get all that strength from?" Jon asked. "I swear, when you're sober you can't even pick up your own son."

"That's because Jeyne feeds him too many chips," Robb said, snatching a new drink from the bartender. "Pretty soon we'll be able to just turn him on his side and roll him everywhere like a giant grape."

Gendry snorted with laughter.

"Robb, Ned's hardly obese," he pointed out.

"I know, my son's a strapping young lad!" Robb cried out loudly at a passing man, who gave him a thoroughly disturbed look. "STRAPPING!"

Jon and Gendry snorted into their drinks, guffawing.

"We should be getting videos," Bran said, still sober, unlike Gendry, Jon and Robb. "And not just of Robb..."

"Did you see him dancing?" Jon giggled.

"Do the WIGGLE!" Gendry shouted, imitating Robb and they both fell on each other laughing.

"That," Robb said, pointing at them with blurry eyes, "is the dance of a sexual god. Oh yes, laugh, but I'll have you know, I used that dance to lure Jeyne in."

"I always thought she had suffered from some extensive brain damage," Jon joked. "I mean, someone would have to, to go willingly into marriage with you."

"I'll have you know, Jon," Robb said, getting up and poking Jon in the chest, "that you're just jealous of the prowess I have as a lover."

"Yup," Gendry said. "That's definitely it."

"Don't you get smart!" Robb shouted, turning on Gendry and stumbling towards him. "I'm so good I'm... I'm like a wolf! A wolf of the bedchamber!"

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

Robb whipped around and Gendry stumbled backwards in surprise to see Jeyne, Meera, Sansa, Margaery and Arya standing behind Robb. Jeyne stepped forward, looking livid.

"Jeyne!" Robb bellowed, and then he stumbled and slumped over, out cold. When she rolled him over with her foot, he was snoring.

"Typical," Jeyne groaned, hauling Robb to his feet as his head lolled from side to side. "We go for a night out and he gets plastered."

"Girls aren't supposed to be here," Jon said stupidly.

"Exactly!" Margaery squealed. "I'm here to find myself a MAN! What about you, Jon Snow?"

She wiggled her hips, and Gendry, despite being drunk himself, could tell that she was drunk as well. Very drunk. Jon shook his head.

"Sorry," he said. "Taken."

"I knew it! I knew you and Ygritte were up to no good in the laundry room!" Arya cried, pushing through Sansa and Margaery and punching Jon in the arm.

"I think we'll head out," Jeyne said, trying to drag Robb from under his arms. "If that's okay with you, Arya?"

Arya shrugged.

"We can help you, if you like," Meera offered as Jeyne groaned under Robb's dead weight. Meera gave Bran a pointed look and he shot Gendry a nervous look.

"But Gendry-"

"Naww," Gendry said, slapping Bran on the back so hard he choked on his drink. "I don't mind."

"Okay," Bran said, wiping spilled beer off his face. He set down his drink to help Meera and Jeyne pull Robb to his feet and support him as they carried him out of the club, leaving the rest of them to look after them.

"You shouldn't be here," Jon snapped, turning to Arya and Sansa. "You're going to get us all kicked out!"

"I agree!" Sansa said nervously. "We should go!"

"No way in hell!" Margaery roared. "I came here to get laid, and get laid I will!"

And with that she flaunted off to the dance floor, disappearing in the thick of men, grabbing Gendry's drink on her way, leaving Sansa to sputter and fret after her.

"Now we'll never leave!" She cried, wringing her hands.

"Oh stop worrying," Arya snapped, ordering a drink. "Haven't you ever done anything daring in your life?"

"This isn't daring, this is stupid!" Sansa protested. "Gendry doesn't want us here anyway! Right Gendry?"

"Errrr..." Gendry said awkwardly as Arya raised her eyebrows at him. Something was telling him that he should agree with Sansa... But at the same time, he was drunk, and when he was drunk he more often than not wanted to shag his more than willing fiancee.

"Right!" Jon said, thumping Gendry on the back. "So fuck off."

"No," Arya said, throwing back a shot and then looking over at Gendry, she went off to the dance floor as well.

"Sorry man," Gendry said to Jon, handing him his drink and then following after Arya, who had disappeared in the crowd.

After a few minutes of searching, he found her dancing near Margaery, who had attracted quite a bit of attention from the male dancers. But it wasn't Margaery who Gendry was watching, it was Arya. When she had been a teenager, she had never danced in public, too shy, but now she was dancing without restraint (the alcohol probably had something, if not everything, to do with it).

A young man made his way towards her, but Gendry stepped in front of him and stopped him.

"Sorry mate," he said, pushing the young man back into the crowd.

"And I thought you wanted me gone," Arya teased, snaking her hands up his arms as she danced. Throwing away any pretense, Gendry pulled her close and kissed her, his hand spanning across her lower back. She laughed. "Obviously I thought wrong."

"That was Jon," Gendry said, the alcohol making his head spin slightly as he dipped his head and trailed his lips from hers to her jaw, and then to her neck.

"Ahh right," she giggled, and then she giggled louder. Arya never giggled. "You didn't shave this morning and it tickles!"

Another giggle. Gendry pulled back and gave her a questioning look.

"Sorry," she said, her cheeks flushed. "I appear to be drunk."

"So do I," Gendry said grinning at her stupidly.

"No too drunk I hope," she said, reaching out her fingers and sliding them down the expanse of his chest to the buckle of his pants. Gendry swallowed hard, and felt his pants suddenly grow much tighter as her hand slid slightly lower. She grinned. "Good."

"Are you planning on seducing me?" Gendry asked, his throat going dry as she closed the space between them and ran her hands through the back of his hair, standing on her tip toes. Slowly, agonizingly slowly, she stretched towards him and gave him a liquid smooth kiss. "So that was yes then."

"Obviously," she chuckled, one of her fingers running against his unshaven jaw.

"With Jon and Sansa so close by? I expect any second now they'll both strike," Gendry said, his voice cracking as she shifted against him purposefully.

"Then maybe we should go somewhere more private," Arya whispered in his ear. "I know you used the car today."

"We haven't shagged in a car in a long time," Gendry groaned just to think of it.

"Then what are we doing here?"

She didn't have to imply again. Gendry nearly pulled her arm out of its socket when he yanked her towards the parking lot, but soon it was her pulling him, weaving in and out of the dancers, sneaking past Jon, who was drinking moodily at the bar and avoiding Sansa completely, who had vanished into thin air. Thank god.

He barely remembered getting into the back seat of the car, but that was no matter. All he knew was that Arya was kissing him, his lips, his jaw, his throat, her tongue working fluidly in his mouth as her hands were yanking off his shirt. Gendry barely had time to keep up as she quickly turned her attention to his chest, her hands running over the muscles, her lips still on his throat. Trying to snap out of the swimming in his head, Gendry unbuttoned her shirt, which she wriggled out of in a matter of seconds, and then his hands were on her breasts, first over her bra, and then she wriggled out of that too.

His pants were growing painfully tight as Arya pushed away the space between them, her breasts pressing against his chest as they kissed breathlessly, but, as if reading his mind, she quickly undid his buckle. Getting out of his pants in the back seat of a car was awkward, and he nearly kicked Arya in the face, but she made up for the time by loosing her pants as well, shimmying out of her underwear at a very unfair rate. She almost made it look easy, but then again, she was smaller than he was.

She pushed him down and straddled him, and at once it became clear that it was Arya who was going to be in charge this time, which was probably for the better, because apparently all Gendry could do was fumble. He couldn't help but jerk his hips impatiently, and he heard her chuckle as she avoided him, teasing.

Well he could tease too, he thought, and he slipped a finger down inside her, and she moaned, grinning and egging him on. He complied, almost absentmindedly as her fingers closed themselves around him, causing him to gasp aloud. This wasn't going to be long, he could tell. Already he could feel himself slipping...

He roared loudly when she thrust forward, and he was inside her. He barely had a moment to recover before she was moving, slowly at first, but then picking up the pace much faster than usual. This would be a complete fucking then, not that he minded at all. He could just lay back and enjoy... She slapped him, as if reading his mind, and he sighed.

"Do some work, why don't you?" She snapped, and then she gasped as he thrust upward, meeting her.

He grabbed the back of her neck as kissed her as she rode him, their lips breaking apart soon as they both neared their climaxes. Gendry, for all the self control he wished he had, came first, but Arya followed only moments after him, rolling away as soon as she had finished, gasping for breath.

"Look at that," Gendry said when he could speak again, "I didn't even talk once."

"I've trained you well," she joked, reaching over and patting his face.

They both laughed.

Drunk Robb is the best Robb.