Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters. There may be new characters created of which will be mine! Any quotes or words used from Ms. Meyer's works are totally her's. I lay claim to none!

Chapter Eleven

Italy

It was easy getting a flight to Italy. The few thousand extra dollars I used to encourage the stoic clerk at the ticket counter at the airport would mean nothing to me, but it broke the lady's arrogance into greed. It had yet to cease to amaze me how a little bit of the green could alter the outcome when one set their mind to something. The flight gave me plenty of time to lay out my plans. How would I explain and approach the Volturi? Would they give me what I want? I had heard all of Carlisle's stories regarding the Volturi, regarding the three mature vampires who considered themselves brothers, the three that ruled our kind, Aro, Caius, and Marcus. I knew that Aro would know everything once I allowed him to touch my hand. Maybe, just maybe, I could manage to stop that from occurring. I didn't want them to know that my family had been aware of my cohorting with a human, allowing that precious human to know the secret of our kind was real. Perhaps pleading my case would be enough, begging for mercy, begging to be destroyed because of the loss of my potential mate, potential because I had not had the opportunity to change her. It would be fermented in a lie, I had no plans of changing her, but perhaps, I could get the Volturi to take pity. From all the stories I had heard for my existence, it had always been my thought the Volturi found great pleasure in destroying others of our kind and this I planned to use to my advantage.

The plane tilted and hit turbulence as we got closer to Italy. The plane crashing could be the answer to my prayers. My prayers that I was sure didn't make it beyond the ceiling of the plane. My innocent Bella had been so willing for me to change her, to make her like myself. I had never had a chance to tell her all the reasons why I wanted to keep her human, why I couldn't take her humanity, why I didn't want to doom her to an existence with no hope for an end, to be frozen in this state of unchanging forever. I had never had the opportunity that I couldn't take away her chance at an afterlife, taking away her soul. I had been certain since the day I of my reawakening that I had lost my soul. The plane hit another air pocket. My mind wandered again to an easier death. If the plane would only lose altitude, would begin a terrible descent, I could be finished. I could make it happen. I could easily rush into the cockpit of this plane. The security measures taken to keep the pilots safe would not stop me. I could make this plane do as I wanted. I could be inside the cockpit before those around me were aware I had left my seat. I could snap the necks of the pilots and head the jet into a downward spiral. I could position myself to hit the ground head first, snapping my head away from my body or the impact alone would dismember me. The fire from the jet fuel would then proceed to consume my body and destroy me. There would be no putting Edward Cullen back together. The thoughts of this easy end were interrupted by the sound of the passengers moving about the cabin, heading to their seats to get buckled and safe. How unfair it would be for them to die? I wouldn't want that. I wanted no more innocent humans to suffer at my hands. The guilt of destroying my Bella took over me again. I would never, could never, live with myself for destroying the one I love.

I would have to think of another plan. I would come up with another way. It would be so much easier if I were human and could just swallow poison or jump from a bridge. The humans were so much luckier when it came to self-assisted death. I would arrive in Volterra soon and I would go straight to the Volturi. I would be abrasive with whoever I encountered until I could reach Aro himself. I would admit that I had allowed a human to know, to see what I truly am. This alone would be an offense that would be terrible enough for punishment by death. I had truly broken the only real law of vampiric code, to keep our secret. I had not kept our secret; I had allowed Bella to know all. With Bella being gone, I wouldn't feel retaliation toward her, I had already done what they would have done to her had she still be alive, I had killed her. I had destroyed her.

The plane landed, but Volterra was still a bit away. I found a car that was being unattended and stole it without batting an eye. Carlisle would be so disappointed in my actions. I was sure, however, that Alice wouldn't tell him. She would give the cliff notes version of my actions. I was sure that my entire adopted family knew what I was doing. The thoughts of hurting them added even more to my guilt. I knew that I would bring them suffering that would last the rest of their existences but my mere death would be less than what they would endure if I remained alive. Alive I would be mourning my mate, mourning my Bella and would be a misery for them to be near. At least this way, they could have some sort of chance of life without dealing with all of that. The car sped faster as the urgency to end my existence became more needed. It wasn't the guilt that was driving me to get to the Volturi fast, it was the pain. I had tried to explain to Bella on occasion that not only was everything multiplied in this life, the strength, the intelligence, but also the emotional capabilities. Bella had never quite known how much I cared for her. It was impossible for a human to feel, to love, as a vampire did. Bella had not known what it was for her to be my mate and for me to be her mate. There would only be one love for me, even if I was not with her, even if she had wanted me not. My connection to Bella would be forever and I was going to end my forever. The pain of knowing she was gone was the most unimaginable pain I had known. The pain was more than the pain of a million daggers of fire singeing my body.

Volterra came into my sights. It wouldn't be long now. I would leave this world. I longed to call Carlisle and Esme, I wanted to thank them for showing me love and compassion, for staying by my side and supporting me in all the choices I made, whether wrong or right. They had supported me greatly and I know I was letting them down, but I knew they would once again understand. Neither of them would want to survive without the other, I knew this firsthand. I had heard their thoughts and knew that neither of them could or would want to exist without the other. I knew that when Alice told them of my plans they would be hurt but they would understand in time. I had to do what I felt necessary. I could never live without Bella Swan. I would never live without Bella Swan. I would no longer exist. Today would finally bring the end for Edward Cullen.