So… umm… hello there! I'm so sorry that this has taken way too long to write and upload! I recently had a teaching job offer so I've been at work and then on courses! Cannot wait to decorate my room and meet my class ahh! Thank you all so much for the huge amount of support you have given, it really means the world to me :) Can I say a huge thank you to Nena Karnf who shared my story on Twitter and within her own fanfics (which are seriously amazing btw!). Two fanfics about very tough topics, one looking into Somalia (during and after), the other looks at something going on for Ziva behind closed doors. She is also currently in Africa doing some amazing charity work. Thank you, I truly appreciate it! Can I also say, it's been a huge pleasure and privilege to be able to talk to you guys via comments and PM's! That literally makes my day! :)
As per a guest request, welcome to the first chapter of the 'Past Is Prologue' section of Part 2. Huge shout-out to this guest, I really love your idea! This will be 4 chapters long and will cover points discussed in the previous chapter and what happened over the last 3 years for Tony and Ziva. I'm so excited to write these and have a ton of ideas. If you guys can think of anything you want me to add, please feel free to let me know! Thank you to everyone who reviewed! Please see the end of this chapter for additional thanks and replies to guests :) Translation: Ktana motek: My little darling
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Thursday 26th May 2016, Parisian Apartment, France, 8am
Silence.
That was a complete juxtaposition to the previous evening. The tense, angry atmosphere filled with shouted accusations and screaming wails from horrific nightmares had been replaced by a much calmer atmosphere. The windows were still open from the previous day and so the gentle wind cascaded into the quaint Parisian apartment, causing the curtains to flow in the breeze. The sounds of gentle breathing were all that could be heard from the bedrooms within the building. Was this to mark the quiet before a second storm?
Tony lay on his back on the king-sized bed in the master bedroom, staring up at the ceiling. Holding his hands across his chest, gently grasping them together, his mind was still buzzing from the events of the past 24 hours. From the events of the past week. He'd hardly slept at all as all he could think about was his own words from last night. And Ziva's replies were also on a continuous loop in his mind. Tony felt like a lot of weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. But while he had let go of all lot of his anger last night, he still had lots of questions that needed answering. Tony had found out more answers than he'd expected to last night, even with all of the arguing, but there was still so much that remained a mystery. Why Orli had kept things from Ziva? What had happened over the last three years? As much as he was starting to understand Ziva's side of the story, he still felt a whole lot of anger and resentment. She still had no right, none whatsoever to keep Tali hidden away from him. He was a father and he deserved to be a part of her life. And while Tony was now completely 100% invested in his daughter's life, he'd missed out on nearly two crucial years.
Finally, he couldn't take it anymore: just sitting there with his mind whizzing. Tony had to get up and do something. Anything. It didn't matter what right now. Forcing himself upright, he dangled his feet off the edge of the bed and made his way to stand up, stretching out all of his sore muscles. Tony thought about making his way to the kitchen straight away, but his curiosity got the better of him and lead him in another direction.
Poking his head around the second bedroom door, Tony made his way further into the room and saw that both Ziva and Tali were still fast asleep, curled up against each other. Ziva was still in the same position as she had been before, lying on her right side with her left arm curled around their daughter. Tali however, had rolled over in her sleep so that she was now facing her mom and had snuggled further into her. God, they look so much alike, with their gorgeous hair curling around their faces. It was one of the rare times that Tony had seen Tali sleep peacefully over the last week and from the dark bags underneath Ziva's eyes, he could guess that she had not been sleeping well either. Had any of them?
Thankfully, Tali had not awoken again after her nightmare and had slept all through the night. Likewise, Ziva hadn't woken up from a nightmare at all. They had seemed to comfort each other and their presence calmed the other down. He knew that they had something to do with Ziva not being there; thinking she was dead; maybe she was worried about losing him too? How could they find out what was troubling the toddler? He would need to talk to Ziva further about Tali's nightmares…
Not wanting to disturb the pair further, Tony turned around and attempted to leave the room. He quietly pulled the door open, trying not to make a sound and alert the girls of his presence in the room. However, it was becoming even more clear that Tali had inherited her Ima's ninja senses and her head quickly whipped up towards the door. Busted.
"Abba?" She called out quietly while beginning to rub the sleep out of her eyes. That sight alone melted his heart and Tony fell in love with her even more, if that was at all possible.
"Good morning Tali!" he whispered but with a huge smile appearing on his face. This little girl certainly knew how to brighten up his day.
"Abba!" Tali exclaimed, with the volume of her voice increasing by a considerable amount, causing her father to wince slightly at the sudden change. Ziva, who was still sleeping soundly, shifted slightly next to Tali and snuggled further into the covers.
"Shh, Ktana motek, your Ima's sleeping." Tony replied softly while he stroked her messy bed-head curls. Just like her mother.
"Ima?" Tali turned herself so that she was now sitting cross-legged while facing her mother. Ziva was currently laying on her side all curled up, peacefully breathing in and out. This was certainly one of the most peaceful expressions that Tony had ever seen on her face, something which he imagined wouldn't have been there recently. None of them had been sleeping well over the past few weeks. "Ima!" she cried out quietly this time. Tali gave her mom a bear-hug of a cuddle and then proceeded to try to shake her awake, only not very gently. Again, Ziva tried to bury herself further into the covers and let out a small moan, clearly not ready to wake up and leave the bed just yet. However, this was evidently leaving Tali feeling most unimpressed as she wanted her mother's attention and so she began to pout her lip.
God she's as stubborn as her mother! Wanting Ziva to sleep some more and also diffuse the situation before Tali threw a tantrum, Tony quickly intervened. He crouched down beside the bed and began to rub his hand up and down Tali's back. This instantly comforted her and caused the toddler to turn so that she was now facing him.
"Come, let's leave Ima to sleep a little longer. Besides, you must be getting hungry. Is it breakfast time?" Tony very gently tickled her tummy, causing Tali to giggle and start to clap her hands together. The sound of his daughter's happiness was music to his ears: that was definitely his favourite sound in the whole wide world, making him want to be able to listen to this beautiful music forever.
Laughing quietly, Tony carefully extracted Tali from the bed, picked her up and quietly carried her out of the bedroom and made his way to the kitchen. Placing her in the high chair, he then started rummaging through the fridge and the cupboards looking for something to make for breakfast for the three of them. It was a good job that Ziva had gone out for groceries, especially now that they needed food for three…
Meanwhile, Ziva started to stir awake, stretching out her tired muscles. Considering the events that had transpired over the last few weeks and the events of the previous evening, she felt surprising refreshed. However, the peace didn't last very long as she quickly noticed that she was asleep in the bed that her daughter had been using last night, except that Tali was no longer there beside her.
"Tali?!" The panic immediately set inside Ziva and she quickly shot out of the bed. "Tali?!" She started desperately searching around the room, under the bed, in the wardrobe, everywhere that she could think. The adrenaline and her maternal side were in full swing now and she could feel tears beginning to spring into her eyes. My baby, my little girl, where is she? Tali, where could you be?
Suddenly, the sound of laughter flowed into the room, seemingly alleviating the mood. Ziva spun around to face the bedroom door: she knew that sound anywhere. Not caring that she was still dressed in her clothes from the day before, Ziva followed that beautiful laughter and the smell of something delicious, which led her into the kitchen where she stood at the entrance, just peering in to watch the interactions between the two people within the room.
Tony had clearly cooked up some breakfast for them and had obviously been trying to feed their little girl. However, it appeared that the pair were wearing more of the food than eating it! Tali was in a playful mood this morning: her spirit having being lifted by having both of her parents together. So she had decided to cover Tony's face and hair in scrambled egg, while the high chair was covered in toast crumbs. Tony, deciding to join in the fun, had also ended up covering Tali in jam: all over her face, her hair, her clothes! The mischievous pair just giggled and continued with their food fight, oblivious to the fact that they were being watched.
Ziva stood by the door in shock for a while, simply blinking and observing the mad scene in front of her. Now this is what family life should look like… She sighed and gave a sad smile to the pair before quickly leaving the doorway. However, she returned moments later with her camera, taking a few crafty pictures and a quick video of the father and daughter before her. They are so much like each other…
The final click of her camera announced to Tony that she was standing there watching the two of them. "Umm…" Feeling like a naughty kid caught with their hand in the biscuit tin, Tony lifted his hands up and looked guiltily around the room, biting his lip. "I can explain…" he began, but not knowing what to say exactly. The kitchen was now covered in food and was a complete mess.
Tali meanwhile burst out laughing and began happily babbling for her "Ima", reaching out her arms towards her mother. Ziva, who was stood frozen by the door, still holding the camera in her hands, soon joined in with Tali's infectious laughter and soon the girls were giggling and filling the room with this sound. Tony stood there watching the pair, noticing how much they looked alike especially while laughing. Seeing them both smile and giggle without a care in the world… it was such a nice change to see. Soon, Tony couldn't help but join in with the infectious laughter, and the sound very quickly filled the whole apartment…
Once the kitchen had been cleaned up and the three of them had washed and changed into fresh clothes, Ziva and Tony found themselves seated on the couch within the living room again, just as they had been the previous night. But while much of the anger had dissipated, there was an awkward tension in the air. Tali was laying on the floor in front of them on her back, holding Kelev in one hand and Shimpânza in the other. They were being held up towards the ceiling while the young toddler giggled and happily played out a scene where the two animals were conversing and chasing each other around.
The two adults sat nursing cups of tea and coffee watching their daughter in front of them, hardly believing that all of those years of being colleagues, partners, friends, best friends, friends-wishing-they-could-be-something-more, crushes, finally lovers… all of that had resulted in a child. Their amazing little Tali. But now their relationship was broken and they were back to square one yet again.
Every so often, Ziva would steal a glance over to Tony, who wasn't taking his eyes off of the little girl. She desperately wanted, needed to talk to him, but she just couldn't think of where to start. Come on, Ziva. He is here. He is the one who came to Paris to find you. Now you need to be brave and take the first step towards redemption. "You must be courageous and learn the truth." Her fathers' words were floating through her head.
"You found me. Again. Just like you always do." She began, speaking softly.
Tony nodded slightly, keeping his eyes still on Tali. "Yep. You didn't want me to find you, and yet I did."
Ziva winced. He was good. Tony had taken her words from three years ago and thrown them right back in her face. You just had to start with that, didn't you? Seriously, anything else would have been better than saying that! Why did you not –
– "You told her about me."
Ziva jumped out of her headspace, turning her body to face him. Tony was looking straight at her now. "Huh?"
"Tali. You told her about me. Who her father is."
"Yes, I did. How did you know? For definite?"
Tony smiled a little at her. "Paris. Our photograph."
Ziva looked confused. She knew the photo well, but how did that let Tony know that she'd told Tali about him?
Tony reached over the side of the couch where the go-bag lay on the floor, unzipped the bag and pulled out the framed photograph. He pulled this onto his lap and sat there staring at it for a while, remembering back to that beautiful morning in Paris…
"Here we go. Hop on. I'm getting pretty good at this…"
Shaking off the past, he stroked his thumb over the glass. "When we first found that photo in your go-bag, Tali pointed you out and called you her Ima. But then she pointed at me and called me Abba."
Feeling the tears start to fill her eyes again, Ziva had to blink them away in order to stop herself from crying again. "That is her favourite photograph. Ever since she was born, I would show her that picture every night, tell her the story of us and our time in Paris and then point out both of us. Other times, I would tell her all different stories: from times in the bullpen, overnight trips, stakeout conversations, times that we were trapped in boxes…" they both had to laugh at that one. They did have a tendency to find themselves trapped in small spaces! "She loved to learn about you, and she had started to demand hearing about you more often. Whenever she wanted you, she would find the photo frame and ask for her "Abba". She's always known about you Tony."
Listening to how much Tali had wanted to know more about him brought tears to his eyes and he couldn't help but let a few of them escape and trickle down his face. He just loved Tali so much and he never wanted to be apart from her ever again. "Thank you for telling her about me. While I would have wanted to physically be there, I am glad and relieved that she knows about me and who I am."
Ziva nodded and that sat there in silence for a few moments, until Ziva replied with something that caught him off-guard.
"You remembered."
The roles were reversed: now it was Tony's turn to shoot Ziva a confused look. Remembered?
"Paris." She continued.
Oh. Tony gave her a knowing smile. "How could I forget?" Ziva returned this with a small smile of her own as she looked shyly down at the ground.
"You were right. This place really is beautiful, Ziva." She smiled up at him.
"Thank you. You still have the key, after all this time."
"It's only been three years…"
Flashback
Wednesday 11th July 2012, Tony's apartment, 11pm
Ziva wasn't fine. Anyone could see that, but Tony could feel it. The pain that was radiating off of her.
They'd all seen a lot both in this job and in their own personal lives, but Ziva David was very much near the end of what she could take. Right at the end of her tether. In fact, she'd been dangling dangerously close to the edge since Mike Franks' death, maybe even since Somalia. But even back then, they could see the fight in her: her determination and spirit telling her, willing her to keep on going. Tony couldn't see that quality of hers that he loved so much right now. She looked defeated, and that scared him to death.
May 15, 2012.
A day of loss,
a day of sorrow,
a day to remember
and vow this will never happen again.
No one was ever going to forget that date. The date that they were personally and brutally attacked. The day that they were blown up in their own home. The day that they'd all narrowly avoided death. Again.
Ducky had suffered a heart attack on the beach after hearing about the awful explosion. Palmer was the one who'd found him like that later with his head partially submerged in the water, on what should have been the happiest day of his life. Instead he waited alone in a hospital for news about his friend and mentor while desperately trying to reach someone, anyone back in DC. Neither of them had any idea what had happened; if their friends, their family, their loved ones were safe. If they were injured. If they were still alive. McGee had taken a shard of glass to his side; impaled by a shard of glass; bloody; hospitalised. Walking away with stitches. Abby and Gibbs had been blown up in her lab. And Tony and Ziva themselves had spent countless hours stuck in a small, stuffy, metal box, trapped inside the elevator; Gibbs' office. What was it with them and being stuck in a box?! Not that he was complaining about the company of course…
And then after all of that, after all of them had come through being blown up and had survived; after they'd become even more of a tight-knit family, Gibbs had then decided to run off to face Harper Dearing all by himself after Ducky's revelation about Dearing still being alive ("Are you freaking kidding me?!"). And of course, Ziva didn't take too kindly to that. She was fed up of losing people she loved and cared about. She was fed of up of Gibbs trying to fight these battles on his own without their help; without her help. And after this personal hit on NCIS, the team could see how this was affecting her. How this was affecting all of them. It was hard not to notice.
Ziva had spent the next few hours silently worrying and outwardly fuming, snapping at anyone and anything that even thought about making some sort of noise. Finally, when word came through to Director Vance that Gibbs was safe and that Dearing had been neutralised, the team in the bullpen were elated and relieved, shown especially by Abby who couldn't help but dance around the room. Only Tony noticed when Ziva very quietly got up from her desk and snuck away to the ladies room. So he followed her. Well, she'd followed him into the men's room enough times! After seeing her furiously attempt to calm herself and wipe away the endless stream of tears flowing from her eyes, and after failing to push him away, Ziva broke down and sobbed into Tony's chest; both of them sat huddled together in the corner of the room on the floor. Tony couldn't do anything else besides stroke her hair and whisper little words and phrases to try to comfort her. Finally, after half an hour, Ziva's sobs faded to quiet, occasional hiccups. Tony had somehow managed to coax her into leaving the bathroom, gathering their things from the bullpen and coming back to his place for the evening, as neither of them really wanted to be alone.
That was how they'd ended up at his place, just the two of them. They only needed the comfort of one another right now; nobody else needed to see them fall apart. And of course, a little pizza and alcohol couldn't hurt them right now. Tony had been worried after the incident earlier in the bathroom as Ziva has shut down and gone very quiet. In fact, she hadn't said a word throughout the entire car journey, even with his usual attempts to illicit some laughter or some sort of witty retort to his antics. He practically had to drag her from the car to the couch! It was only when Tony accidently spilt a whole tray of beer down himself that Ziva broke out of her trance and burst into a fit of hysterics. And hell, if that's what it took to make her laugh, Tony would gladly pour more alcohol over himself.
"What is your favourite place in the whole world?"
"Huh?" Ziva jumped out of her daydream.
"If you could live anywhere, where would it be?"
Once Ziva had calmed down and Tony had changed his clothes (from the go-bag in the back of his car), they had finally picked up their conversation from the elevator from 2 months ago. The elevator. Where they had finally decided that they were done with the secrecy, the brave faces, as they were tired of pretending. Again. They had vowed to start telling each other things about things. Which is how they'd ended up sitting on the couch asking twenty-one questions.
After a few moments, Ziva worked up the courage to share something very personal to her. To Tony, this may have seemed to be a pretty simple question to ask someone, but to Ziva this was something that she had never really told to anyone else before. They had known each other for seven years now and had been through a lot together; they had gone to the end of the Earth for one another. Ziva knew that she could more than trust Tony with this important piece of her life. And she did. "Paris" she replied shyly, keeping her gaze down at her hands in her lap.
Tony's mouth gaped open ever so slightly and his eyes lit up at the mention of that beautiful city, his mind racing back to their stay. The memories flashed and zoomed around his head and he instantly felt transported back to that magical place: the sight-seeing trips; walks along the cobbled streets; their hotel room; the one bed within the hotel room… Was that really three years ago now, he wondered… "Yeah?" Tony replied softly.
Ziva nodded, still not meeting his eyes. "Out of everywhere in the world, it is the one place that holds only happy memories." Tony waited patiently for her to continue, knowing that there was a backstory or two to this.
Taking a calming breath in and then out, Ziva worked up the courage to move her gaze back to Tony. "After my parents split up, my mother took us out of Israel. She did not want us or herself to be anywhere near our father at that point. And one of the places that we lived in for a while was in Paris."
"There was just the four of us: Tali, Ari, Ima and myself. And we lived in this beautiful little apartment close to the Notre Dame. It was also close to a little market place and she would take us there every week to help us practise our French. We would be able to speak to all of the local people and the people on the stalls; ask them for different foods and directions. But she never got angry if we made a mistake; she would simply help us to try again."
"She sounds amazing…" Tony commented.
Ziva nodded, looking sadly down at the floor. "She was…"
She had trailed off now. It was evidently clear that although Ziva never really spoke about her, she really missed her Ima. Ziva had been through a lot and had to grow up really quickly. Sadly, they both knew only too well the impact that losing your mother has on your life; the missing piece that can never be replaced.
"What happened to the apartment?"
She sniffed quietly but looked back at him again. "We all loved living in Paris, but it was clear to us that this would only be a temporary home. After a while, my mother and Tali began to yearn to back to the Middle East. They missed the climate, the language, the people. So we moved again, this time to Amman in Jordan. Ima did not feel quite ready to go back to Israel just yet. And it was nice, I guess. We stayed in a small house with a family friend for a few months."
"What happened?" Tony gently questioned. He knew that this story would only become harder to tell and he wanted to help her through this.
"She, um… had gone out. We were all at the local school during the day and she chose to go into the markets that day. She had been helping out on the stalls to gain some income while she looked for a job. Um… the three of us often walked home together and she was not there when we got back, which happened rarely but it was not a cause for concern. But when it got later and later and she still wasn't back, we took Tali to our neighbour while we went to search for her. And that was when Ari and I were told by some locals about a shooting in the markets a few hours before. We then received a message that she had been killed."
Tony's face fell. He could only imagine how that must have felt. The one comfort that he took from losing his own mother was that he was able to spend time with her and be with her until she passed away peacefully. But to kiss your mom goodbye one morning and learn that she had been killed by that evening… no one should have to experience that. Meanwhile, Ziva's lips were trembling harshly and she was trying so hard to hold herself together. But when Tony reached over and took her hands gently within his own, Ziva's face crumpled and she burst into tears. Tony pulled her gently into his chest where she sobbed her heart out: crying out for her Ima, Tali, Ari… all while clutching onto the front of his shirt. Unable to contain his own tears, they flowed down his face while he rocked her back and forth and he stroked her hair; something which could be counted on to bring her great comfort.
When Ziva's sobs could no longer be heard, Tony looked down to her face, thinking that maybe she had fallen asleep against him. But she was staring off to a spot on the wall beside her. He needed to bring her back: she needed to finish her story. They both knew that she would feel better, freer if she did so.
Tony took Ziva's face in his hands, causing them to look at each other in the eye. "We're not done yet. Finish it."
Ziva covered his hands with her own and stroked her thumbs over his knuckles. Her way of thanking him for being there, listening, for being Tony. "After that, we went back to live with our father. Ari and I continued our training until he was sent to Edinburgh to study to become a doctor. You know what happened next." Tony nodded his confirmation.
"When Ari was suspected of killing Kate, I came to NCIS to prove his innocence. You may remember that I spoke on the phone to him whilst in the bullpen?" Tony nodded, vaguely recalling watching her hover by the windows speaking to someone in Hebrew. "Ari and I had a plan. We'd had a plan all along. Neither of us had any desire to go back to Israel. We had lost Tali, our mothers and we hardly spoke to our father anymore. We had planned to run away to Paris together. And while we had been searching for where in Paris to go, we discovered that the little apartment that we had lived in as children was available to rent. We leaped at the chance."
"Jumped, Zi, jumped at the chance."
"Oh, yes! Anyway, we went through some back channels and rented the apartment under an alias, then formed our plan of how to get to there from America. But we obviously never got to do so…"
He was losing her again. So Tony took her hands in his, as if to give her the strength to continue. Ziva could only smile and wonder when Tony had become so good at reading her and knowing exactly what to do to help her and make her feel better. And special.
"After that, I continued to rent the apartment. I still had no desire to go back to Israel. There was hardly anything left there for me anymore. But I still often felt like an outsider in America. The only friends I had were you and the team, and even then you did not warm to me. Abby hated me; McGee was happy he was not the newbie anymore; you did not know whether or not to trust me and Gibbs felt like he owed me.
"What about when…" He didn't want to drag that hell hole into this, but he had to know.
"It was no longer mine while I was in Somalia. And when I came back, I soon discovered that someone else had rented it and was now living there. That felt like I had lost a part of me; my family. Once I was in a better place, I would try again every few weeks. You may remember that I was not in a very good place after Cobb killed Mike. It was around that time that I checked again, but the person was still living there. And then I decided to check again a few days ago after everything that has just happened over the last two months."
"And…?"
"It is available again." Her eyes lit up.
That was pure magic to him. Tony wished he could see that sparkle in her eyes all day, every day. He could get lost in those beautiful eyes, which had earned him more than his fair share of headslaps! "What are you going to do?"
She took a moment to gather her thoughts. "I would like to buy the apartment, so that I do not have to worry about someone else wanting to rent it. The owner has already said that he would be willing to do this for me. I still agree with what I said to you two years ago. There is always another monster. If anything should happen, I want to feel prepared. To be able to disappear without a trace."
Without a trace. She wanted to run away. Tony's face fell. To think that she could be gone one day out of the blue and they would never know what had happened or where she was. That they would never see her again; that he would never see her again. Tony rubbed the back of his neck anxiously with his hand.
Seeing his reaction, Ziva needed to share one more thing with him. "There is another reason why I am sharing this with you, Tony." That quickly got his attention as his eyes came back to meet hers.
"Tony… after what has happened recently… I have been thinking about this. A lot. And I do not wish to run away. I do not want to simply turn this apartment from a home to a hideout. I do not want that piece of happiness to be tainted by sadness and violence. So I want this apartment to be for you as well."
His mouth fell wide open. She wanted what?! That was her special place; a place to remember her family. Surely he couldn't intrude upon that? "Zi…"
"No, please let me finish. If ever you are in trouble or if you ever want a break for a few days, I want you to be able to have somewhere safe. I mean, with your track record, you're gonna need it one day DiNozzo!" Ziva joked, lightening the mood and he couldn't help but join in.
"Tony… you are the most important person in my life. I trust you completely and I… I want to show you how much you mean to me; how much I care about you."
He was speechless. Ziva had often kept her feelings and emotions bottled up, so to hear those words from her… Tony was just lost for words. She thought of him so highly and he was beyond honoured that she would share this special place and those special memories with him.
"Alright, my ninja. Let's go get us an apartment, sweetcheeks!"
Present Day
"You made my day, Ziva, when you came into work a few days later with those two keys to this apartment."
Ziva blushed a little. "What made you bring the key with you? When you left DC?"
Channelling his inner Gibbs, Tony scoffed slightly and replied: "Call it a gut instinct."
Ziva rolled her eyes at him. "Tony."
"Alright alright… I guess… I knew that I wanted to take Tali to Israel and Paris. We needed answers from Israel and Paris… well I know how much you love this city. And some of the memories that you and we have here. This apartment is one of the few places I know, or know of here. It has your history, your past all throughout the building and I'd never been here before. And I wanted Tali to feel close to you. To go somewhere that was and still is special and significant to you. And when Orli revealed that you were still alive, I knew that this would be the only place that you would go."
Wow. He never ceased to amaze and astound her. Here was a man who by rights should have wanted to stay in DC, close to his family, in a stable environment. But he instead chooses to fly halfway around the world, searching for answers, searching for her! After all that I have put him through, he should have wanted a clean break from me. Instead he tried to continue including me in Tali's life, so she would always know her Ima. I do not deserve it.
"Thank you." Two simple words, but it was all that her flabbergasted self could say. It was effective though and Tony clearly appreciated those words, acknowledging them with a soft smile and a nod of his head. Thank you can go a long way.
Leaning forward, Ziva placed her head in her hands. "Who would have known back then, when we first bought the apartment together, that this was how things would turn out." She shook her hand before lifting her head again back at him. "When I asked to become an NCIS agent all those years ago, I imagined that I would still be working there in 20 or 30 years' time. I certainly did not expect to be resigning for good and having a child with you so soon afterwards."
He scoffed again at that. "Yeah, I'll admit that I definitely did not see this coming."
Ziva sighed and fidgeted with her fingernails. "So… now what?"
"Now?"
"Tony, there are still people out there, searching for concrete proof that I am really dead. They will not stop until they know that for definite. These people are very good. They had Tali and I under surveillance for weeks."
"Yeah I know, they were watching us too."
She whipped around to face him, her jaw dropping wide open, almost reaching down to the floor. "What?!"
Oh boy. "After your… they watched us: me, the team, my father, your aunt; they wanted to see if our reactions were genuine. See if you really were in the farmhouse at the time."
"How do you know that?"
He smirked. "Orli. Mossad was keeping an eye on them. They still are."
Oh. Of course. Tony spoke with Orli in Israel, remember? "Yes, yes I know…" she recalled, trailing off again as she began to realise something. "Tony, these people… They are the type of people who will not give up until they have proof. Physical proof that I really am gone and until then they will keep looking. And if they are still following you, then will know that you two are here."
"If you run, they will keep looking."
She sighed, running her hands through her messy curls which were flowing freely this morning. "You are right. But I will not risk you and Tali."
"And I will not risk you. How many times have we nearly lost you, Ziva? No matter where we stand with each other right now, Tali needs to grow up with her mom in her life. You are not doing this alone anymore."
"That's exactly what I am afraid of, Tony."
That statement really left no room for Tony to argue back his point further. "Look, I know that you are very fiercely protective of the people close to you, but you have to realise that acting alone could very well mean that own daughter could potentially grow up without a mother. She almost did have to. And she could have been parentless if Orli hadn't come to me with Tali."
Ziva could feel the tears coming back quickly now. She could never make up for what she had done, but she could act and make a change. Standing up from the couch, she moved over to where Tony sat, crouched down in front of him and took hold of both of his hands in her own. Tony looked somewhat shocked at her change in closeness but to his credit he didn't pull away. "I'm so sorry, Tony. I wanted to tell you in person about Tali. I can only imagine what it must have been like to find out like you must have done."
Tony licked his lips, finding their proximity to each other a bit off-putting. And distracting. "I'll admit, finding out that you were dead one moment and then discovering that I was a father in the next was a bit of a shock putting it mildly! After all this time, I didn't expect that I would ever have kids and I never thought that I would be a good father. But meeting Tali, well that was love at first sight. She's perfect."
His face lit up, conveying his pride towards his little girl, and Ziva's face beamed widely along with his. "She is. She is the best of both of us. Tony, I am so very sorry for keeping your daughter from you. I should have told you about Tali from the beginning. I do not expect you to ever forgive me for this, nor do I believe that anything can happen ever again between us because of my actions, but I completely understand."
Tony paused for a while, thinking in his head of how to begin to process this information. She was right: a relationship between the two of them was the last thing on his mind and he also didn't know if he could ever forgive her actions. But they needed to work together as partners, as a team again, for Tali's sake. "I don't know if I can even think about that right now, but I do know that no matter what happens between us, I want us to be able to work together to raise Tali. She doesn't deserve to be torn and pulled between her parents and arguments." Ziva nodded her head quickly in agreement. "I would like to know everything that has happened over the last three years. Everything, Ziva. I think you owe me that much."
"Yes. Well then, I shall start at the beginning. From when you found me in Israel…"
A/N: Next time: Past Is Prologue continues with 'Confession'. Ziva and Tony share what transpired during their first year apart (so throughout S11). I've actually got a whole load of bullet points that I'm going to cover during this chapter, if there's anything you'd like me to bring up in this chapter feel free to let me know!
Chickie10016: WOW! Thank you so much I am totally blown away by your beautiful words! And thank you for the A hehe ;) Oh yes it was a hard chapter to write in terms of creating a realistic sounding argument but I am really relieved that you feel that I am working hard to keep them in character. It really is one of the things that I'm trying hard to maintain, so we can feel like maybe something like this could happen! It really means the world to me when people like you write such lovely, amazing comments about your writing… I just couldn't even begin to imagine this when I started out! Yeah while it does take me a while (I know I take way too long!) to write but it is totally worth it when you get to talk to loads of amazing people. I know! I'm still overwhelmed by everyone who reads, reviews, supports this story, it's crazy! It is my absolute pleasure and thank you so much for your time and effort to read, review and support :)
Debbie: Hello! Thank you so much for your really lovely comments. I'm so glad that you liked the last chapter and that you could feel as if you were there listening in on their conversation! I hope that you enjoyed this chapter :)
Eowyn: Hello there! Me too! While Tony is (and should be) angry with Ziva right now, he still loves her very much and he will definitely be working with Ziva. Gotta love Tiva :)
Guest (Continuity error!): Ahh not again! Sorry about that, it has been changed in the previous chapter, thank you for spotting that and letting me know! :)
Guest (Chapter 11: The Facts of Life): Oh yes that is great! I really like that, I feel like that sums it all up in a nutshell :)
Guest (Mike Franks): Thank you for letting me know that he was on the wall in the memorial, I really couldn't remember! Thank you :)
Guest (Ziva not believing in happy endings): Ooh an Arrow reference, yes! Hehe! Yeah, I know that Ziva has been through a lot in her life, but she's not one to sit and moan about it. Which again is a reason why CdP left. But yeah, I wanted to shake Oliver Queen in that scene! :)
Guest ("TWO. WHOLE. YEARS."): Thank you for telling me, yeah that should now be in capitals! :)
Guest (If Nettie does become informed of Ziva's survival): Ooh that could be interesting if she moved in with Tony, Ziva and Tali… it's definitely an idea that I'm playing about with… ooh thank you for sharing that one! :)
Guest (If Ziva ever wondered to herself if she would have been a help or a hindrance had she stayed in NCIS?): YES! That's definitely something I have thought about over the last few years, especially when Sergei was around. It's something that I will go into, probably within the next few chapters, again looking at if she would have wanted Tali to have been involved in that world… :)
Guest (For all his anger at Ziva): That is a very good point, Tony (and Sr too!) seemed to have a gut feeling that Ziva was alive. And Tony was not going to stop until he had physical proof that Ziva was alive or dead. I think that once Tony stepped back and looked at the "evidence" which "proved" Ziva was dead, he saw the missing pieces and the things that didn't make sense. So he wanted to go to Israel for himself and get those answers. I'd like to see this featured/mentioned in S14. Oh yeah, I really like what you wrote and when Tony does eventually calm down and move forward, he'll be able to tell Ziva this. Thank you :)
Guest: For me, I feel that Ziva didn't know that Sergei and Ari were half-siblings. I'll will definitely be discussing that in Chapter 14 in much more detail! I think that at the moment, Ziva would be shocked at hearing about Gibbs but also overwhelmed by how much has happened. But I think that once we go into more details about Gibbs nearly dying in Chapter 15, I think that Ziva will show more clearly that she is horrified and upset by this. That has given me another interesting point to add to the next chapter though regarding Gibbs and Ziva, so thank you! :)
Guest (Socorro Santiago): So I just had to Google her name, but woah! Yeah I think that she would be great as Nettie, especially when you look at and compare her to Weronika Rosati (who played Rivka)! Ooh that is really great, thank you for that! :)
Guest (If Gibbs had put Ziva's ID in the memorial): Ooh now I hadn't even thought about it like that, that is a very good point! I guess Gibbs' reaction threw a lot of people off, you don't know whether he has accepted her death and isn't showing any emotions over it, or if he's got a gut feeling (or knows something we don't) that Ziva's still alive. If it's alright, would I be able to mention the point you made about the ID in a later chapter please? :)
Guest (Chapters 11 through 14): Ooh I really like naming them after the four steps of reconciliation! Yeah it fits well as Ziva is trying to reconcile with Tony and they are sharing with each other things that have gone on over the last few years.
2. Yes, I really like the ideas of Past Is Prologue or Reflections, I hope that you're happy with me choosing Past is Prologue, it was just a very fitting, unique title!
3. Ooh, I'm loving "The Devil You Know" and "The Devil You Don't" as chapter titles. They are very intriguing…!
4. Again, more great chapter titles! They are all serious amazing! I like the ideas of using "First Contact," "Interception," and "Interference" for spreading news about Ziva being alive. All I need to do is figure out where in my story they will tell people… :)
Guest (After Ziva read through; My bad, I completely forgot): Don't worry, well done for spotting that and I'm so sorry if I didn't make it clear that it was Ziva's suitcase that Tony brought from Israel! :)
Guest (I wondered what happened): Ooh me too, I've been contemplating about bringing in Malachi and Liat for a few weeks now… I would love to have seen more of them after S8! :)
Guest (By the time they're done): Yes, while Tony and Ziva do have a lot to talk about and sort out, they will one day reach a point where enough is enough and like you said, they will move on from the past. :)
Guest (Babysitting): I totally agree! Those babysitting experiences definitely showed off Ziva's maternal side and showed that while Tony felt nervous around kids, he was also a natural dad. From the start I really wanted to work these into this fic and I hope that you liked the mention of these within this chapter. I think that they will also talk about these again in the future… :)
Guest (This is what Ziva told Rachel): Hehe this quote has been written in my notepad for a little while now, it's definitely something that will come up later on! It says a lot about what Ziva wanted back then and it will be interesting to discuss this further now that she has Tali and is starting to work things through with Tony… :)
Guest (Nerf weapon toys): OMG YES! Tali would totally be the master of the Nerf gun haha, this may just have to happen further down the line! :)
Guest (Vance and P2P): Yes! I wonder whether Vance's connection was made public? It really did come back to haunt him. Thank you for reminding me of that one, I will try to work that into the next few chapters, I'm thinking it would fit well with Chapter 14… :)
Guest (You stopped at the best part): Olá! Wow hello from England to Brazil! Thank you I am really glad that you like my fanfiction! Don't worry about it, English is a really tough language! Besides, I cannot speak Portuguese! Hehe I agree that Tony and Ziva will get to that stage further down the line, but I will apologise now as I don't think that I'm the right person to write a sex scene! Personally, I don't feel comfortable writing about that, sorry about that! :) Xoxo
Guest (With all the sadness): Aww me too! I love the Ziva-isms, and the smiles/laughs between Tony and Ziva and all the little looks just make them who they are! I cannot wait to be writing scenes like that and like you said that have missed out on that for the last three years, they need to make up for lost time haha :)
Guest (Ziva italicized thought): Ooh I like the thought, thank you for sharing that! I hope that your point was covered somewhat within this chapter, it will certainly appear again over the next few chapters too :)
Guest (NCIS Wiki): Thank you for telling me! I have gone and corrected the name Shmeil in all previous chapters so it should be right now! :)
Guest (Tony's description to Ziva): 1. Yeah I feel like Ziva didn't know about Jackson's death, for reasons that will appear in the next chapter, along with Delilah's paralysis (sorry that has now been changed to Parsa!). Thank you for reminding me, I need to include Fornell and Emily in Chapter 14! Don't worry I didn't have Tony mention that Sergei was Ari's half-brother for a reason, but he will tell her in C14. Which will be followed by Gibbs getting shot by Luke Harris and going through surgery. 2. Thank you, I have now changed Eli to "my father" and 3. The two whole years has been changed too :) 4. Yeah, there was a lot that Ziva had to react to so I will bring up Tali's nightmares for definite within the next few chapters and Ziva's guilt about this :)
Guest (Tony is going to feel guilty for making Ziva feel guilty): Yes I think that Tony is currently still angry at Ziva because Tali is having nightmares, but when they discuss this further in the next few chapters, I think that as you said, Tony will begin to feel guilty for his reaction about this :)
Guest (When Tali woke up like that): Thank you for your idea, I have now added Ziva and Tony jumping back in shock. You're right, that would have been a normal reaction! :)
Guest (Gal Gadot): Ooh, now I can just see her as an adult Tali! That would be quite a good fit, and like you said she played a former Mossad assassin! :)
Guest (Welcome back!): Thank you! Yeah I just spent so long writing C11 and mapping out ideas and getting my head around some things for this fic! And most importantly, replying to reviews! :) 1. Ooh thank you for sharing the fic "Where The Winds Carry Them". I have added this to my "to-read" list and I'm gonna go find this fic! I have read other fics by BigBadWolfTardis before and I really enjoy their work! It sounds like a very good story, I'll read it and let you know!
2. Yes, it would make sense to split the Kelly story into the 3 stages (child, teen, adult). I will see if I can think of someone to play teen Kelly. Ooh I like "The Lost Daughter" title, it just sums it up without giving too much away! Again, I agree that she would be raised in the US and OOH! I would love to see the Kelly rules to live by! Don't worry, this info has now been added to my doc! I will also have a think about her new name… I think the 1
st chapter idea could be a great idea, I am interested to see Shannon and Kelly in NIS protection. Honestly, your description gave me chills!
3. Again, the "Best Intentions" is on my 'to-read' pile, but yes it would make total sense to read that before writing the time-travel story. Ahh, I can't decide which one I like better: "One Chain Broken, Another Chain Forged" or "The Chains of Fate"! Both are great! Yes, while we obviously don't know everything about NCIS like when Bishop applied for NCIS, it will be interesting to explore and develop relationships and saving characters like Jenny and Kate. Again, this has been saved! :)
4. Oh yeah, Deena is a big part of this fic! I will try my absolute best to develop her character and look at why she is acting towards Ziva the way she is. Yeah, I think that Deena could have been part of a mini-plot for Ziva, which probably would have resulted in some sort of showdown where Ziva again would be emotionally hurt. Like you said! With Tony as her knight ;)
5. Okay wow! I love your ideas for the front and back covers! I am absolutely awful at drawing but that makes we want to get out a sketchpad and draw both of those covers! In fact I just might… Haha oh yes, now how can we sum up the Tiva relationship on a back cover…! Like you said, we'd need some brief overview of 2005-2013, followed by Ziva's supposed death and Tony's quest for the truth. Hehe I love the final line as well, they are our favourite super-couple! :)
6. Somehow, if only! I can't imagine MW or CdP will ever read this story, God only know what they would think about this! Yeah, I wouldn't have the slightest clue about how to get them to read this! But hey, we can dream :)
7. The more I think about it, the more I think that this will be quite a bit longer than 20 chapters! We need to cover Tiva beginning to reconcile, dealing with the threat, moving forward (e.g. where to live), telling the team and the future.
8. I know, I'm sorry! I'm bad at giving planned upload dates as I can never stick to them and then I feel bad! I'm hoping to having C13 and C14 up really within a week or two, but who knows with me! Ahh… :)
Guest (Tali's nightmare): Ahh I like your thinking about Tali's nightmare, especially about her visualising someone as a monster. It would be interesting to see what her nightmare was about and how she can share this with her parents…
Guest (C11 Changes): I hope that this is alright! Thank you, I've read through all of your comments, I'm gonna finish and upload this chapter, then sleep (it's 4am here!), I'm in school tomorrow but I will then re-read through that part of C11 and your comments and make some changes :)
Guest (It's been three weeks): I know, I'm sorry! I need to write and upload quicker! :)
Guest (Two indications): 1. Yes, "Go or go for good" was an interesting line. It felt like a hint for something, maybe he was trying to push Tony to go and search for answers, maybe find Ziva? 2. Oh yes, the Abby elevator conversation was interesting! Again I've got an idea about when Ziva told Abby, I'm just working out the best place to add this in! 3. The one-shot story is very intriguing, I'm interested to work out why Orli wanted them to lie to Tony. It would be a very different twist on that ep. :)
Guest (I imagine that you are…): Oh yes, I've got a word doc just for these 4 chapters, all bullet pointed notes! Yeah there's a fair amount to cover! Yeah I think that Ziva will have a few choice words for Orli… I would love to be a fly on the wall and listen to that conversation! But again, like you said, they will be able to work through this :)
Guest (If we think about…): Yeah I think that there's a big part of Ziva that wanted Tony to find her so that they could be altogether but she would also feel selfish for wanting so, and she probably felt that she didn't deserve this after she'd lied to Tony. She would have wanted Tony and Tali to be safe, so she would have wanted them away from her in order to protect them from the people who are after her :)
Guest (The first time Tony and Ziva lost trust in each other): It's interesting as you said that like in S6, Tony and Ziva have lost trust in each other. I hope that they can begin to see now the other person's point of view and work through this together… :)
Mary Oviedo: Gracias por sus lindos comentarios! Lo siento, no puedo hablar español . Estoy usando Google para que me ayude! Espero que te haya gustado este capítulo :)
Mishka: Hello there, thank you! I'm really glad that you are enjoying this FF! :)
Sarah: Hello there! Aww wow thank you so much! That does genuinely mean a lot to me, I'm really glad that you like this lil FF! It is my absolute pleasure to be writing this and thank you to you! I am truly grateful that lovely people such as yourself are reading and enjoying this story :)
Stella: Hello! Thank you so much for your lovely request I really like it! I can definitely write a scene where Ziva has a nightmare and wakes up crying and then Tony comes along! I've got this written on my to-do list and I will see where this scene will fit best within the fic, but I will make sure that it's in this fic. Thank you my lovely, TEAM ZIVA IS NOT DEAD! :)
Sue Dooley: Hello! Thank you I'm really glad you liked that last chapter! Yes, Tony should be beyond angry right not but as you said, he did try to move on after Ziva left. We will definitely be discussing Zoe and him within the next 3 chapters. Yeah, Ziva wouldn't have wanted Tony to give up his whole life because of her and she would have believed that he moved on just like she probably told him to so (although she wouldn't have wanted this). Yeah, Zoe will be a very interesting conversation to have…! Tiva forever :)
