Thank you so much for the wonderful comments! Jeez i can't tell you how much better i felt! I really enjoyed this chapter. I think its the first time where i really went into Naruto's thought. Oh! Can anyone please tell me how i can edit my chapters? Thank you!
Naruto released her out of his arms lightening his grip slowly. Hinata got off of his lap and sat in front of him. They both didn't say a word for awhile but then Hinata suddenly had the great urge to ask him something.
"Naruto. . . .what am I to you?" she said softly.
The unexpected question made him look at the ground. He started playing with the grass and plucking some out. He didn't know what to say. Hinata started to feel a little nervous about his silence. He had never stayed this quite that long.
"I-I mean, we're not friends, I'm not your girlfriend. . .s-so what am I?"
Hinata tried her best to make her voice sound as normal and strong as possible but deep inside she was very weak and hesitant about his answer. Naruto at the moment was having another civil war inside his head. He had no idea what to say. He started to remember the first time he had met Hinata, how he didn't think a speck about her. Then he remembered how he started to sexually desire for her which he still kind of did. But then he remembered how he started to like her personality, her presence, her overwhelming cuteness. The change in feelings for her made him choke up on his words and train of thought.
"I don't know." He said still not looking at her.
Hinata's heart was destroyed by his reply. She swallowed hardly trying to make the urge of crying disappear.
"O-Oh." She said letting her saddening tone slip.
Naruto was feeling like such a dick. He knew he had hurt Hinata but it was the truth. He didn't know. In the beginning he just felt a great arousal with her and didn't care enough to commit to a relationship. He was just treating her like any other girl. In the beginning, he thought she was just like any other girl. That's why he made the rules. That's why he made those stupid rules. Those rules represented his lifestyle and now he was so confused on whether Hinata was changing the way he lived. He broke up with Karin because of her, he refused to have sex because of her, he refused to forget about her even after she rejected him. He was starting to feel attach to her to the point where sex didn't matter. He just wanted to see her face everyday smile, he just wanted to talk all night with her, He just wanted her to be the one he could always trust, to never let go. He had never felt this way before and he didn't know what it was. He didn't fucking know what he felt for Hinata. She was secretly more than a friend but the definition of a girlfriend in his past self was a booty-call, and that's not what she was to him. Yes, Naruto did still want to have intimacy with her but not like when they first met. He wanted something passionate, something they both felt comfortable with, he wanted to feel something with her in that moment, not just pleasure , but an internal and external connection within them both.
"Hinata, I'm sorry but I don't know, I really don't."
Hinata just nodded and attempted to smile. "I-I was j-just asking because you're always breaking the rules."
Naruto's eyes widened in misunderstanding. The rules? Why did she care about the rules? As cruel as it may sound the rules only benefited him. The only one that corresponding to her was the only rule he hadn't broken, and never will. Hinata didn't look like the person who was just in it for sex. So why the hell did she care about the rules?
"Why is it that such a big deal for you? Shouldn't you be happy about that?"
That sounded wrong, arrogantly wrong. He didn't mean to say it like that. He looked at Hinata who was now the one staring at the ground.
"Hinata I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like it that. I just, I just don't get you."
What you're doing to me.
"Why did you agree to this. . ." Naruto was getting really nervous."Hinata, did you say yes to this whole thing because you were too scared to stand up for yourself?"
He bit his lip. For some reason, he was very scared about her answer. If she said yes, than he would obviously have no choice but to end this and that would be the end of them being together. His stomach tightened by the thought.
"Hinata have I've been forcing you into this, this whole time?"
Hinata shook her head."No."
Naruto felt a little relieved but that feeling quickly went away. The new question that swarmed him was, why? Why would Hinata agree to this in the first place? Naruto mentally face palmed himself.
How could I be so stupid!? How did I not realize who I was asking this favor to?!
It never came to Naruto mind why an innocent girl like Hinata would agree to this.
"Then why?!"
Hinata looked up with tears on the corners of her eyes.
"I-I don't k-know."
Naruto felt so bad right now. His eyebrows curled up in worry. He grabbed her small hands and moved his body closer to her. He leaned himself closer to her face and gave her kisses everywhere; on her cheeks, on her forehand, on the top her head, and even on her nose.
"I'm sorry." He kept saying during the process."I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
I'm sorry for making you go through this, I'm sorry for making you have to deal with me.
Hinata was silently crying. He could hear it and he hated it. He rubbed his nose on hers and caressed her cheek with his thumb, trying to brush off her falling tears. He pressed his forehead against hers.
"I guess we both don't know, huh." He said closing his eyes."I guess we don't know why we keep holding on to each other when we're so different."
Hinata laid on her bed. It was already very late at night. The only reason why her sister and her father hadn't worried about her was because she had lied to them saying she was going to Sakura's house for a project and might be sleeping over if it were to get too dark. She laid with tears falling from the corners of her eyes.
I hate this. I hate this. I hate lying. I hate pretending.
In the plain darkness of her room, one could hear distant whimpers and gasps coming from Hinata. She was torn apart by the massive incident that happened in the golf course and the worst part of it all was that she had provoked it.
Why did I ask that stupid question?!
Hinata knew why she did though, after their walk, their talking, and that simple hug he gave her, she had become completely credulous in thinking that Naruto was now more open, was now more open to commitment. She thought in her naivety that they both now hand a chance of becoming something more than whatever it is that they were. She thought maybe, just a little, Naruto was starting to like her. She cursed herself for thinking of such a thing. How could she be so stupid? Naruto was Naruto, he doesn't like anyone, it is almost impossible for him to do so. Sakura had told her, Hanabi, TenTen, her father, they all had warned her. She knew his reputation, she knew he wanted her for pleasure, she knew most of the time he was very arrogant, so why did she stay? Because she thought he was different, she thought he was hiding who he really was. She cursed herself again. How could she possibly think she could be the one to change him? She was nothing special. He had even said to her that he had never noticed her after a solid eight years. So again, why'd she stay? Because Hinata Hyuga was in love with him. Yes, she was in love with Naruto Uzumaki. Ever since she was very little she liked him and now, to this day her, feelings hadn't change. And if someone's heart can wait this long, can hope so long, it is love.
Or desperation. . .
Hinata wanted to curl up in a ball and hide in her room forever. She was so hurt. She was in deep pain.
"Why did you agree to this. . ."
"I-I don't k-know."
Her eyes began to stream like rivers.
"I don't know why I agreed to this because I know you were never going to fall in love with me, I knew was only going to get hurt wishing that you did, I knew that I would be lying to others."
Hinata started choking on her whispered cries. "I don't know why I love you so much that I'm willing to ruin my life to see yours shine."
And with that she rolled over and cried herself to sleep and the last words she said were,
"This is wrong."
Naruto and Hinata did not meet today. They did not come early in the morning and they did not speak to each other at all in either of their classes. Naruto was surprisingly very quiet. He didn't make a sound during class, it actually kind of concerned Kakashi-sensei.
"You alright Naruto? " He said stopping the lesson.
Naruto took a long pause to answer but he then made his signature smile. He stretched is arms and slouched back in his chair.
"Yea, I'm just tired. Your class is just too boring sensei."
The whole classed laughed. Hinata gave a quick glance at Naruto, his signature smiled and disappeared within a second. He looked kind of sad. Hinata just turned to face the board.
Know this is over. He's just sad because he won't be getting any help from me when he's in the mood.
Sixth period came and he also was just as quiet as in first. He entered the classroom silently, not as loud as he usually did. Hinata was calmly doing her work when she heard someone say, "Why do you keep looking at her?"
It was Sasuke's voice. The next voice she heard was Naruto's. "I'm not you idiot! I'm just looking at the board."
After that, the boys said no more. Hinata didn't think much of it, she just figured Naruto was checking out another victim or he was actually just looking at the board. The bell soon rung and the class began to leave. Hinata grabbed her stuff and headed out the class. She felt something stroke her hair, she looked up and Naruto's back was in front of her. Did he stroke her hair? Hinata shrugged it off. Whatever was going on between them was over. She doesn't have to think about him anymore.
Naruto put his backpack in his gym locker. He started stripping down his uniform to put on his active wear.
"Hey man. You alright?" a topless Sasuke with basketball shorts stood in front of him.
"Yea man, why do you ask?" Naruto said unbuttoning his shirt.
"C'mon, spit." Sasuke said lightly punching his shoulder. "What's with you and that girl?"
Naruto froze for a second after taking off his uniform.
"What are you talking about?"
Sasuke gave a glare." Don't play stupid, that girl. Uh, what's her name? Hana, Hami, Himati."
Naruto already had on his gym clothes. He was putting on his socks and shoes. He was getting really annoyed about how Sasuke was talking.
"I can't remember her name. That girl, that creepy girl. . . "
Naruto was now getting really angry.
She's not creepy.
". . .y'know that weird girl with long straight hair."
Naruto tied hit shoes with great force and nearly slammed his locker closed.
"Her name's Hinata you dumbass. It's really not that hard to remember." He said looking at him seriously.
He literally pushed himself passed him, shoulder punching him, and headed towards the gym.
Sasuke grinned, "So I managed to grind your gears. That was easy."
Naruto stopped his tracks and turned to face him. "What the hell are you talking about?"
Sasuke jogged his way next to him. "Come on man, you like the girl. You looked liked you were gonna slam to the locker and punch the stupid out of me just a minute ago. What happened between you two?"
"Nothing."
"Dude I saw you looking at her the entire class period, and don't give me that crap saying you were looking at the board, cause no the fuck you weren't."
"You don't know that."
"Yea cause the board is right next to the window."
"Well maybe I was looking out the window."
The boys were already in the gym. Asuma-sensei ( I know he's dead but whatever) was standing next to the basketball cart while the rest of class were dribbling.
"Boys, go get a ball and warm up. I got important stuff to share with you."
They both nodded and headed towards the cart. Naruto grabbed a ball but Sasuke slammed it back inside.
"I saw you touch her hair, and don't you fucking tell me you were just messing with her because I saw you literally run your fingers through her hair like some kind of romantic chick flick."
Naruto's body froze for the second time. He had lost this one.
"What do you want man?" He said grabbing a ball.
"I want to know what's up with you guys. You both look like shit."
"No, not Hinata."
"What?"
"She's beautiful. I'm the piece of shit here."
Sasuke stood there in shock. He started to dribbling and passing the ball to him.
"Ok Romeo, now I really want to know. Did you get rejected by her or something?"
Naruto sighed and closed his eyes. "No, I was seeing her for a long time."
"What? How? You were with Karin for awhile."
Naruto swallowed his nerves." That's the thing, I was seeing her at the same time. I was actually seeing her way before Karin."
"Dude, what. . . Did you guys have sex."
Naruto was looked down at the floor. "No, we were but then I changed my mind. Look, I'm gonna explain it to you to from the start, alright."
He told Sasuke everything from the very beginning to the incident that happened yesterday.
"Dude, some deep shit." Sasuke said when he finally finished. "So the lessons, how were they?"
Naruto jolted his head up."I'm not fucking telling you!"
Sasuke just smiled. "That girl really changed you, huh."
"What?"
"You use to talk to me about girls like it was nothing personal, but with this girl, you keep chains and bars all over those experiences."
Naruto had never thought about that. He knew she was different but he didn't know he was also treating her differently from the rest.
"Yea, I guess she did."
For a moment the two teenage boys played a one on one game against each other. Sasuke made the first shot. They both took a rest for a minute.
"You know, I think you like her." Sasuke said smirking.
Naruto eyes widened. Did he really like her? He had never known what it felt like to like someone. Was Hinata teaching her how?
"I don't know, maybe. I'm not very good with defining emotions, ok."
Sasuke just shook his head. "Trust me, by the end of the day you'll be running back to her."
Naruto stayed silent.
But she doesn't want to see me.
"Alright listen up!" Asuma yelled. "In a few days from now we will be choosing the best players to represent our competition. Observation training begins tomorrow. "
Naruto was really excited about this. He always wanted to join the completion team. He believed if he played good enough someone would notice him, and maybe, ask him to play for the university. Naruto was good at basketball but that's not what he wanted to do for living. If he was chosen to play at a good university, he could pursuit his math career at his best. He had to get into this team.
"Okay boys! Go back to the lockeroom! I'll see ya tomorrow!"
Everyone walked out of the gym. Naruto changed quickly and headed out the door. He wanted to go see Hinata, at least take a glance at her. He figured she'd be in the art studio, so he made his way down there. As he got closer to the door he could see Hinata sitting on a table in front of the door. She was taking out her sketchbook. She was putting her hair behind her ear, when she suddenly looked up, both of their eyes connected. For a moment everything went in slow motion. Narruto's eyes began to sadden and he looked away and kept walking.
Hinata stood there with a blush on her face. She couldn't believe what just happened.
"You okay? Your face is red."
Hinata had a determine face on.
I have to forget about him.
"And you look kinda mad?"
Hinata turned to see a slightly scared TenTen. She hadn't noticed she was there.
"Sorry TenTen, I was thinking of something."
"Naruto."
Hinata quickly woke up by that name. How did she know?!
"Hinata sit. I have to tell you something."
Hinata sat down nervously.
Before Tenten to could say anything Kurenai-sensai spoke, "Class, today we're doing black and white sketches. Please think big and make it emotional. I want to see this place explode with expression."
When she finished TenTen took out her journal and opened it up to a blank page.
"I saw you with Naruto yesterday."
Hinata's organs twisted into a knot.
She saw us!
"I told you to stay away from him."
"I know you did but I'm not seeing him anymore."
Tenten looked at her seriously she placed her hand on her wrist.
"Did he hurt you yesterday?"
Hinata shook her head. "No. He just wanted to talk."
Tenten just sighed. "Hinata, please don't get near him anymore. Trust me."
Hinata nodded assuringly. She wasn't planning on seeing him anymore. She wanted nothing to with him. She had enough of his stupid games.
"Hey, can I tell you something personal?" Tenten said quietly. She was looking a little sad.
Hinata was automatically devoted in comforting her.
"Absolutely TenTen, you can trust me."
Tenten got up and made her way to Kurenai. Kurenai-sensai nodded and smiled. She made her way back and started grabbing her stuff.
"We can work outside."
The girls got up and went to sit in the hallway. TenTen took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
"The reason why I want you to stay away from Naruto is because he ruined my life."
Hinata sat calmly. She didn't want to scare her with any harsh emotions. She just had to listen and wait patiently to speak.
"Last year Naruto asked me out. I was so stupid, I thought he was so hot, that I never listened to all the bad comments about him. Like an idiot I said yes, and things kicked off from there. In the beginning things were great. He was nice and really funny but then there was a point where he kept just asking me for sex, and let me tell you he's a professional in getting you in the mood, you have to squeeze your legs tight to not fall into temptation."
Hinata tried not to blush. She knew exactly what she meant.
"Unfortunately I lost and he got what he wanted. I wasn't a virgin when I first had sex with Naruto. I have my reasons ok. I thought I found my 'one' and it wasn't actually him. But anyways, after we had sex, days after that's all he ever wanted. I slowly started getting tired of it and I did what I thought was right, I broke up with him."
She swallowed nervously. "Then after a few weeks I started to hear rumors about me. People kept saying I was a whore who slept with anybody. People were telling me that Naruto had told them that I was sleeping with other guys. That I was sleeping with guys before I even met him for fun. "
Her face was quickly getting angry.
"Can you fucking believe that! I sometimes wonder why nobody talks legit shit to his face! Like right at his face! So he could fucking hear it, not behind his back!" She was raising her voice louder and louder."Why the fuck doesn't anyone call him a man whore. He sleeps with a lot girls for fun, he does, I never did! "
TenTen could no longer take it anymore and bursted into tears. "It's not fair. Why does he always win. Why do people like him so much if they know he's pure evil."
Hinata wrapped her arms around her tightly. She felt extremely bad for TenTen, she did her best to comfort her.
"I'm so sorry TenTen." She said still hugging her.
"Don't get near him, okay."
Hinata nodded. "I won't."
Hinata was getting her stuff out of her locker. School was over and she was relieved she was heading straight home. She closed her locker and started walking down the hall. She could hear fast footsteps coming towards her. They were getting louder and louder as they got closer. Unfortunately Hinata's fast walking was no use. The anonymous person grabbed her hand. She jumped in fear and turned her head. Once she saw who it was she tried to release his grasp.
"No wait, please just listen to me for minute."
Hinata refused to listen. She wanted nothing to do with him, she wanted nothing to do with Naruto. He just keeps hurting her over and over again.
"Hinata I'm not letting go until you listen to me. Please look at me."
Hinata was desperately trying not to cry but for the love of all strength she failed. Her small gasps escaped her lips. Naruto could hear them and let go off her hand.
"Hinata I-"
"What do you want from me? Why can't you just leave me alone?" She said crying.
She looked down at the floor. She could've ran away by now but her body wouldn't let her, it just stood there motionless. Naruto grabbed her waist. Hinata quickly hesitated and tried to escape.
"Stop, I won't hurt you I promise."
He had her against a locker. He meant what he said. He didn't want anything from her except for her to listen. Hinata couldn't stop crying. She didn't want to be near him. Naruto rubbed his fingers on her cheeks. He wanted to make those dreadful tears wash away.
"Look at me, look at me, Hinata, please look at me."
He moved her head around softly with his fingers but she wouldn't look at him. He gave up and kissed her on the forehead. He rested his head on hers.
"If you won't look at me you can still hear me." He paused."Hinata, I'm sorry about yesterday, I'm sorry about what I made you go through. I get it if you don't want to talk to me ever again but I want you to know that I'll never be the same."
He left go of her waist and grabbed her hands, "I realized you make me happy, you make me want to wake up every morning with a smile. I can't stop thinking about you and I don't mean any of this like sexual pleasure, I mean it like, I don't know, just being with you. Just holding your tiny hands like this makes me go crazy."
He brought her hands to his lips and kissed them. His still touched her hands and he whispered,
"Please don't leave me. . . "
Hinata suddenly wrapped her hands around him and rested her head on his chest. She, for the first time, tilted her head up to look at him. Her cheeks were the most adorable red. Naruto couldn't help but to touch them.
"Kiss me." She said softly.
Naruto tilted his head down to kiss her. When their lips touched they gently moved around. Their heads tilted side to side. It was a slow soft kiss. During pauses they would rub their noses together and breath. It was probably the best kiss they ever had.
I love you Naruto and even though I'm going into the same mistake I just tried to escape. My love for you overpowers my strengths and weakness and does crazy stupid things.
I've finally found out what I feel for you. It took me awhile to understand but now it makes perfect sense Hinata Hyuga. . . .I'm in love with you but I can never tell you because I will only hurt you when people start to find out.
I hope you enjoyed it! I sure felt this one! Thank u! Bye!
