Deidara remembered how much of a hassle it was to have sleepovers with the two other members; not that they were bad company but they could sometimes be quite a handful.
He wasn't particularly picky with the place he had to sleep in but he was anything but enthusiastic about the cracks on the walls, spider webs on the ceiling, the broken window that couldn't be opened to let fresh air in, odd-smelling bed sheets and cockroaches in the bathroom. Kakuzu never had the shame to show how disgustingly thrifty he was.
The biggest problem, however, was that Kakuzu was not only incredibly greedy with just money but his personal space as well. Initially, Deidara was going to share his bed with Anjira, while Kakuzu and Hidan share the other but apparently that was not going to be the case.
"You always do this, you greedy bastard!" Hidan yelled.
"I am not sleeping beside you again." Kakuzu retorted.
"There's not enough space for three people in one bed!"
"Then sleep on the floor."
"You're always making me sleep on the floor! What if I catch a cold?!"
"You're immortal, what's a cold to you?"
Ultimately, Hidan accepted defeat and the three of them had to share a small bed while Kakuzu had the other whole bed for himself. Anjira was squished between him and Hidan, the latter falling fast asleep. He would constantly wrap his arms around her and she would struggle to get him off, but over the long haul she became exhausted and just lay there, looking uncomfortable and unhappy while Hidan snored in her ear.
"This is exactly why I don't want to sleep beside Hidan anymore, hm." Deidara whispered to her.
"I wanna get out of here..."
Deidara thought for a moment and nodded. The two couldn't sleep anyway so why bother staying in this sickening inn?
"Let's go out, hm."
"Sure, there's no way I'm getting any sleep like this."
Anjira roughly pushed Hidan away, resulting him to wake up.
"Where are you guys going?" Hidan yawned.
"Outta here."
"Can I come?"
"No, you go back to sleep, hm."
After getting fully dressed, the pair exited the room and left the inn.
"Finally some fresh air!" Anjira sighed in relief.
"Well then, let's see what this village has to offer. But with an inn like that, I'm only anticipating disappointment, hm."
"Hey, wait for me!" They heard Hidan call out, who was running out of the inn.
"Why are you here? I told you to go back to sleep, hm!"
"You can't just leave me with that old smelly fart in there!"
"Well, we are going to do artistic activities and you are not invited, hm."
"Come on, I'm so bored! Where are going anyway? "
"More or less just wreaking havoc to this village, that's about it." Anjira casually answered.
"All right, count me in!"
Deidara frowned. He had hoped to get some alone time with her and have a sophisticated conversation but it would practically be impossible with Hidan around. Anjira just shrugged and led the way.
Not too many people were out this late in the evening but several bars and eateries were still open. After some time, a fancy restaurant caught his partner's eye.
"Let's eat here!"
"Are you crazy? Kakuzu's gonna kill us!" Hidan looked at her in bewilderment.
"Then we don't pay, duh!" She answered in a matter of fact tone and entered the restaurant. Hidan wore a puzzled expression on his face but Deidara wasn't so surprised, it wasn't the first time Anjira acquired things for free.
The trio was seated at a table and soon enough it was covered with all kinds of meat, poultry and seafood, and the three were eating like there was no tomorrow. It was not everyday that the Akatsuki had the opportunity to eat luxurious food.
No food was left untouched and after finishing the dessert, Anjira asked for the bill.
"Why are you asking for the bill? I thought we're not paying!"
"We're not, but don't you feel better knowing how much you don't have to pay?"
The waiter returned with the bill equivalating to seventeen thousand ryo.
"We ought to show this to Kakuzu later."
"You're gonna give him five heart attacks."
Quickly leaving the restaurant as not to be noticed, they headed in another direction. Only a few minutes passed before another place piqued Anjira's interest.
"Hey, that looks like an art exhibition! Let's check it out!" She ran off without waiting for the men but they gradually caught up with her.
The building the exhibition was held in wasn't big, but there were a number of well-dressed, pretentious looking people.
"Yo, Deidara." Anjira spoke up. "How about we become the critics this time?"
"Works fine with me, hm." He grinned and followed her inside. This might turn out to be fun. I wonder if there's anything that could inspire us, but I highly doubt that."
"Excuse me, who might you be, all dressed up the same?" A pretentious-looking man approached.
"Oh, we are… professional art critics." Anjira scrambled, glancing at Deidara. "We specialize in, uh…. abstract cubism!" She flashed him a bright smile.
"I see. Welcome to our art exhibition where we hold masterpieces created by the best artists in the world. Follow me please, I would like to show you our most exquisite piece."
"I have no idea what I just said." Anjira whispered.
"He probably doesn't either. Just use big words and everyone will believe you, hm."
He lead them to an extremely mediocre picture of a bored-looking woman, which boiled Deidara's blood. How could something so unremarkable the best they had in this exhibition?
"This is atrocious, hm! How can you even consider this art? There is nothing special or exciting about this, it doesn't have any momentum! Don't you dare call this an 'art' exhibition when all you have to offer is mediocrity! I will show you what true art looks like, hmm! " He was about to stick his hands in his bag but Anjira stopped him.
"My apologies, my partner tends to be overzealous when it comes to art; very passionate, this fella. Now if you excuse us, we would like to take a good look around by ourselves. And please fetch us some wine, will you. "
"Why did you stop me from showing my art, hm!"
"Let's finish our job as critics first."
"I am done being a critic! Look at what's supposed to be the 'most exquisite' piece here, hm!"
"I know, the title is 'Melancholy' but she looks more constipated than melancholic. But my point is, don't you think it' would be amusing to make fun of all these bad paintings? Let's have a look around and some wine."
The man who had no knowledge of art returned a bit later, bringing three glasses of wine and, although still in a sour mood, the blonde remained silent and took his glass.
"Honey wine, huh? Very nice. Now let's commence our judgement on crappy art pieces."
"Are we just gonna look at paintings or something? I don't really get it and I don't really care." Hidan said with a bored expression, sipping his wine. "Wine is good though. Give me more!"
"Maybe later."
"I'll just stay outside and pray for forgiveness for not being able to kill all these people."
With Hidan gone, Deidara could now freely rant in frustration how he did not accept these paintings as a form of art; just because one could to draw a bit doesn't him an artist.
"There is just too much barbarism whenever mundane people attempt to create art, hm! They all think its merely about something that has to look great and conveying a message but that's not it! It's about giving your all, expressing all of your passion, creating something unique and grand in the single heat of a moment; it is everything!" He angrily ranted.
"You're right. I get the feeling none these artist really did their best..."
Anjira took a more humorous approach on making fun of the pieces.
"Look at this, someone just painted a blue dot on a piece of paper. Must have been really hard to make." She said sarcastically.
"Disgusting, hm. How lazy and shameless does one have to be."
After some time he realized that Anjira was actually right: talking shit about other people's artworks was actually a lot of fun. He hated seeing most of those half-assed realism and expressionism paintings, however he felt so immensely powerful when he belittled them because he knew he was so much better than those who created them. There were a few that were slightly pleasant to look at but he wouldn't admit that they were art.
"This looks like it was drawn by 3 year old that had too much sugar, hm."
"You're so mean. I love it."
Thankfully, the exhibition wasn't that big so there was less trash to look at. There were a couple of self-proclaimed artist Deidara threatened to kill, but eventually their so called tour ended. The last few 'art' pieces consisted on three sculptures: one of an irrelevant historical character, an abstract sculpture of what was supposed to be a man, and a naked woman.
"What's that supposed to be? A kunai or a penis?" Anjira asked, eyeing the abstract sculpture with an appalled expression.
"I think that's his hand."
"Then what about that? Is that his hip bone? But it's directly attached to his arm… I think that's his hand... Why make the the body parts look like a bunch of deformed potatoes?"
"No need to overanalyze it, hm."
"This butt looks nice though." She patted the butt of the naked woman. "And thus, this concludes our role as art critics. I haven't found anything striking but then again, I don't really know anything about visual art anyway, so I'll just listen to your feedback since you are more knowledgeable in this field than I am..."
"You're not wrong. Nothing was impressive, just boring and mediocre, hm…. 'Greatest artists' my butt! My man Sasori wouldn't even bother stepping a foot in here were he still alive!"
"Feel free to do whatever you want with this exhibition." Having seen enough, they exited the building.
"Now where did Hidan go, hm..."
They spotted Hidan at the back of the building stealing honey wine supplies and Anjira decided to help him, stuffing some bottles under her cloak. With that done, there was no other reason why the art exhibition should still exist.
"Now then… will you do the honor?" Anjira leered.
"My pleasure. Let me show everyone what true art looks like, hm!"
He created a larger bird and sent it flying towards the exhibit.
"Katsu!"
In an instant, the exhibition was gone and smoke started to rise to the sky. Panic arose, and firefighters attempted to throw water on the burning mess.
"Now, that looks so much better. That is true art. Not even close to what those 'greatest artists' are even capable of, hm! "
Anjira smiled at him but Hidan rolled his eyes.
"Blah Blah Blah. Always the same shit."
"Oh, shut up, Hidan! Told you to go to sleep where your birdbrain won't be challenged by such sophisticated things, hm!"
"Anyway, let's leave before people start suspecting us." Anjira suggested.
He nodded and admired his artwork for one last time before escaping from the scene. They ended up drinking the stolen wine on the roof of some random building, far from where the exhibit had been. Deidara and Anjira shared one bottle, while Hidan drank most of the wine. As Hidan became very drunk, he started throwing the empty bottles at the windows across which Anjira found hilarious and threw some as well, urging Deidara to join.
The inhabitants of the building began to either scream in terror or angrily shout insults, looking for the culprits behind this delinquency. On cue the trio ran off before getting into any trouble, but Hidan was too drunk and tripped and fell from the roof, ending up laying unconsciously on the ground.
"Oh my god! Is he alright?!"
"This building is only about 20 ft tall, I'm sure he's fine, hm."
The two jumped down to check on their unconscious companion.
"What do we with him now?" Anjira asked.
"I'd say we'll leave him here but for the sake of the Akatsuki, let's bring him back to the inn."
"Sounds about right."
She helped him carry Hidan back to the inn like a sack of rice.
"I think he broke his neck..."
"Kakuzu can fix that, hm." Deidara wasn't worried the slightest.
Once inside, they carefully laid him beside Kakuzu, careful not to wake him up. She flashed him a mischievous grin, pulled out the restaurant bill from her pocket and placed it on Hidan's stomach, before quietly leaving, careful not to wake anyone up.
Outside, the pair allowed themselves to burst into laughter.
"I can't wait to see Kakuzu's reaction, hm."
"Me neither… hey, you tired yet?"
"No, you?"
She shook her head.
"Let's go for a stroll."
He agreed.
This time they walked around the outskirts of the village, where it was more peaceful and decided to relax in a cemetery.
"I've had a lot of fun tonight."
"Same here, hm."
Indeed, it had been a while since he had enjoyed himself like that. Artistic activities were always enjoyed by him alone because there wasn't anyone he could share this recreation with… until now.
He gazed at his partner. She too looked like she was deep in thought.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing." She smiled. "Was just thinking about the art exhibition."
"What about it, hm?"
"Let's become the greatest artists of all time!"
He chuckled.
"There's no need for that." He ruffled her hair. "We've already achieved that."
"But I think I could do so much more and better."
"That already makes you the greatest I've ever known, hm."
