-Amaris-

Creators help me. How much more unfair can this become? I thought collapsing by a small stone bench deep within the royal gardens. I had slipped on a small patch of ice, at least that's what I had told myself. Idiot! You should have known Dur would have been with him at this hour! Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! What a stupid thing to do!

I beat my fist upon the bench until it was numb. His face, I could not drive his face from my mind. For the smallest of moments the fire had lit in his eyes once more, but was extinguished just as quickly, coldness taking its place. My mind grew clouded and dim.

Do not let your feelings for this…human get in the way! My mother's word echoed in my ears.

Oh shut up! I screamed back at her. I know my duty all too well! You do not know my pain!

Oh come off it girl! She snapped. You act as though you are the only one to have ever loved and lost. You were too young to understand then but I loved your father with every fiber of my being! Do not think you are alone in your grief.

To have anything in common with you besides my given talents would be an insult. I spat. I am nothing like you. It was me that told them you stole the crystal, and I would do it again in a heartbeat to save father's life. You see they thought it was HE that was stealing from them not you. Leave me mother, you were dead to me long before they slit your throat. Leave me and never come to me again, Creators damn you.

The sudden wet nose on my cheek startled me and I jumped, the presence of my mother shattered like glass. Dur whined, licking away my tears.

"Dur." I breathed between sobs, pulling the poor dog into a hug. "How he must hate me, how he must wish me dead. Everything I have done, every choice I have made; it has all been in vain…all of it. Tell me that leaving you with him was a comfort at least. That with you he did not feel quite so alone?"

"He has been my constant companion, never once has he left my side…until now of course." His voice crushed me like a battering ram. My instinct was to run, but I found in short order that my legs had given out, I was trapped. Gathering what little courage I had left I resigned myself to the coming onslaught. Every word he spoke was another killing blow.

"You know when I woke up that morning to find you gone; I was ready to tear off after you. Even though for the life of me I had no idea in which direction you had gone." He stated finding a tree, across the clearing to lean on. "Wynne kept me here, by shear will power. Well that and occasionally sealing me in my room until I promised not to run away. I felt abandoned really. I had always thought we would be together, just the two of us against the world. What an absolute disappointment it was to wake up and realize I would be spending my days at the mercy of the court. That I would end up a simple title to remind people of what had been accomplished."

"I know you must hate me." I replied, looking anywhere but directly at him. "But know that what I did, I did for Ferelden's sake, for…your sake. It was obvious the Queen had set her eye on you, and who was I to match beauty with a queen? I had no business amongst the Lords and Ladies of the court…it destroyed me to leave you. What I told you that night before the battle did and always has held true. When I left you I became as nothing, I died that night. I do not expect mercy nor do I expect forgiveness. What I do expect is for you to do your duty. I beg you do not let your hatred for me corrupt your judgment. Ferelden needs its General. Corbin needs you."

"You are completely impossible!" he snapped, rubbing his face furiously, spanning the space between us and kneeling beside me. "You will stand up for complete strangers; people you have scarcely met…yet flee those you care the most for. Hate you? Maker's breath how could I hate you? Without you Ostagar would have been but the first victory for the darkspawn. Without you, Loghain would be ruling a destroyed country. Without you I…I would…I would still be a boy from the Chantry, lost without even realizing it. Hate you? No. For this act, if it possible, I love you all the more."

I could not think, I could not move, I could not respond. Even after all this time, all the pain I had caused him. He had accepted me back in the blink of an eye. I could not bear to look at him, covering my face with my hands, as new wave of tears spilled out. How could he not hate me? I pulled myself up onto the bench and willed my legs to function. I stumbled away only to collapse again. Of all the times for you to turn into jelly! I cursed myself. I could not breathe, it felt like I had downed Morrigan's mystery potion all over again. I gasped for air, bracing myself against the soft powered snow. I could feel him standing behind me, his voice washing over me again.

"Come now, no tears." He whispered wrapping his hands around my shoulders and lifting me to my feet, guiding me back to the bench. "You are not the monster you know…"

"In my righteous crusade to protect you I destroyed you. I blinded myself, I shut off my emotions. I even found a way to keep myself out of the Fade so that I would not dream of you. My inability to become what you needed me to was too difficult for me to face. In my attempt to choose that which would cost you the least pain, I chose the most selfish one." I sniffled, my gaze cast down in shame. "How can you possibly forgive me for that? How can you say that I am not the monster?"

"Because even queens have been brought low by their best intentions." He replied, lifting my face then adding as almost an after thought. "Did you really believe I would forsake you for a stuffy self important person like Anora?"

"She is beautiful." I answered. "A little spoiled perhaps, but what member of aristocracy is not?"

"You do remember the woman is the daughter of a farmer?" he chuckled, the moonlight dancing on his face. "She earned her title much like her father earned his, with tactics, a quick tongue and charisma."

"She is of your kind…I am…"

"She is a stuffy self absorbed misguided bitch. One which likes to bat her eyes as if it would actually get her somewhere. You are a precious gift, that had me praying to the Maker every night, that you would find your way back to me." he interrupted, cradling my face in his hands. "Amaris…look at me."

Taking in a quick breath, I blinked my gaze upwards. My heart swelled in my chest, I felt the butterflies take flight in my stomach. The light had found its way back into his eyes and for the first time in long time the world felt right again. I was not healed, not completely but I was healed enough. My heart could beat without feeling as though it would give out at any moment. He softly ran his thumb down the bridge of my nose, and I felt my skin burst with chills. So long ago and yet he still remembered. His body inched closer to mine, and he leaned forward. I was lost in his eyes, once again completely captured.

"You know one good thing about the Blight is how it brings peoples together." He said, meeting my gaze.

"You are a very odd human." I smiled, as he consumed my mouth with his. The kiss was not lustful but peaceful and comforting. As if it was meant to tell me that all was forgiven. That everything would be alright, and that in the end no matter the outcome we would see it together.

We never saw Dur coming, until he had flipped us over the bench, covering the both of us with slobber and snow. I squealed in surprise, and he boomed with laughter. It was a full laugh one that I was sure no one had heard in a long time. It filled me with joy and I too began to laugh. We laid there, the three of us, until we could no long feel our fingers and our noses were as red as the cherries that had once grown wild on my Uncle's farm.

It was well after midnight when we snuck back into the castle, in search of his fire and his bed. There would be no wooing tonight, only time spent remembering each other. As the fire dimmed and sleep began to work its charm, I laid my head upon his chest murmuring my last question.

"How happy do I make you?"

"You do not." he replied, his mischievous grin playing at the corners of his mouth. "With you I am contently complete."