Title: History Book Part 2: Sigh No More

Rating: M for language and smut.

Pairing: Seblaine, Ex-Klaine; AnderCohen-Chang, Blam, & Blittany friendship.

Genre: Angst, Friendship to Romance

Warning: angst?

A/N: Oh Man. Remember that time I was all "hopefully I'll update sooner" when I was talking about how long it took me to update last time and then it took me longer o.o I deserve all of your frustrations! I'm so sorry my life got so crazy and couldn't write and I missed you all and this story and these boys and this 'verse and I promise to never take THAT long of a break again because that was RIDICULOUS! Oh my. This has been a painful wait for me too. It wasn't fun at all. But I'm happier and things are better and I get to write so thank you guys for your patience and kind words. Honestly if you still with this story, it really means a lot that you stuck it out. There was a point I was scared I wouldn't get to finish this. I will though, so no worries. I'm also nervous that this will fail miserably and that I made you all wait for nothing so please please please let me know what you guys thought. Even if it's not that elaborate at all, even if you didn't like it. I want to know. I hope that's not the case though. Thank you again. I hope the length makes up for it. The angst hasn't really let up much BUT there something I think you'll appreciate at the end. Consider it little appreciation for all of you lovely readers. ;)


FRIDAY

Blaine realized, as he knelt down behind a snow covered truck, and curled his ungloved hand around a chilling ball of snow, that he and his friends were absolute lunatics. He loved it. He needed it.

He had been caught up by the drama of his Dalton love triangle and exhausted by the demand of his school work that he hadn't had much of a chance to spend time with Sam and Tina. It didn't sit well with him that, that was the case. He wondered if it was sad that a completely ridiculous and free snowball battle in front of the sandwich restaurant, at which they'd just had lunch, was everything he needed to bring up to his happy place, however temporary it might be.

It had been a week since sectionals, effectively propelling time into winter break and Blaine chose not to dwell on anything that happened that night. He chose instead to distract himself with as many plans with his friends he could manage without offending his mother.

Blaine, spending too much time self-reflecting, was too preoccupied to notice that Tina's laughter and screaming had suddenly ceased. It was too quiet. Blaine stood slowly, eyes wide, as he peered over the hood of the truck. Of course it was too late—the ambush was in effect. Before he even had a chance to run, Sam had his strong arms secured around Blaine's waist, hoisting his small body up into the air with little to no difficulty.

Tina, for her part, was not far behind, rounding the front of the truck with an arm full of snowballs, a satisfied smirk, and a crazy look of excitement in her eyes. Blaine's eyes widened then shut tight as he anticipated the impact. How many snowballs the two had made, Blaine couldn't quite figure out. The assault was never ending.

When it was all over, Sam gently lowered Blaine to his feet before joining Tina in a celebratory dance complete with an exclaimed "Whoo" here and a "Oh yeah" there, and even a "In your face dude!" because Sam was actually a six year old. Blaine's attention turned to his near frozen hand as he realized he'd, at least, had half the mind not to relinquish his hold on its icy contents. A small ball of victory expanded in his chest at the shock that took over Sam's face as he smashed the snowball on his head.

Sam shook his head free of the offending snow particles and playfully growled, "Oh now you're going to get it."

Blaine would deny the scream he let out as he was dragged to the ground to his dying day.

Tina was barely holding it together as she tried to manage filming Sam holding Blaine down with one hand while he tried to scoop snow from the ground and toss it in Blaine's face all while dodging Blaine's attempt to do the same from the ground. She almost dropped her phone in the snow multiple times from laughing uncontrollably at the sight.

A cleared throat cut through their fun causing all three to pause like something out of a sitcom and stare up at the disapproving face of the manager from the sandwich restaurant. They hadn't even seen him walk out and over towards them. They hadn't even realized they were making that much of a commotion.

He was an old, greasy looking man. He had dark hair and pasty skin and his eyes were a cold grey blue. His, nearly nonexistent lips were scrunched so tensely that his mouth looked like a very short line of nothing but wrinkles.

"If you don't. mind…" he paused. Blaine noticed the man had become distracted from addressing them, when his hard eyes trained on his and Sam's linked hands. It hadn't even occurred to him that they were holding hands. It happened somewhere between Sam helping him up and neither letting go. It wasn't a big deal until Blaine realized: for the manager, it was a big deal.

Oh yeah, reality check they were still in Ohio.

The man continued, "I think your…activities," that one word carried more venom than any of the teens thought one world could possibly handle," would be better suited at a park," He paused again, allowing his face to twist in distaste as Sam laced his fingers with Blaine's. Sam's chest puffed up and all of the "sweet country boy" Blaine grew to know and love vanished, replaced with something darker and far more threatening. Blaine never wanted to be on the receiving of that look.

The man remained undeterred, his voice dropping with his obvious disapproval as he spoke. "…or in the comfort of your own home, rather than in front of my respected establishment."

Blaine could practically hear Tina roll her eyes. "Your 'respected establishment,'" she formed quotations with her gloved fingers, "is called 'Nice Buns." She deadpanned, supplying this fact as if it was enough to render the manager's statement into nothing more than a joke. It landed with the effect she'd intended. The man's face twisted further into an ugly and, what looked like, painful, mix of his bigotry and annoyance. This wasn't a five star restaurant, it was a sandwich shop more than anything, they all knew it, but this stopped being about the restaurant the moment the old manager's thoughts on what he suspected of Blaine and Sam spilled out of his mind, through his eyes and out into the brittle air between the four of them.

This wasn't something that was new to Blaine—he had dealt with it quite a bit, more than he was comfortable with admitting. Though hurtful, the man's words—his hate—didn't cut as deep as it used to. His friends, on the other hand, were seriously angered and offended on his behalf. His heart warmed with the security that came from them caring so deeply—so openly—but he didn't want this to be what the weekend they had together turned into. "Don't worry about it guys, let's just go." Blaine tugged at Sam's arm. His two friends eyed him carefully before nodding their understanding.

Tina led the way as they left the rude manager behind on the snowy side walk, still casting a hard look on the two boys.

Sam huffed and put his arm around Blaine's shoulder. Blaine couldn't tell if he was showing off or just being regular Sam again, but it reminded him of why he had a sometimes-crush on the taller boy.

"Their buns aren't even that good" Sam muttered petulantly.

Blaine entertained his silliness, the corner of his lips twitching up into a smile. "I know."

Tina turned dramatically, her long silky hair flipping through the air from one of her shoulders to the other. "Yeah, yours are better." She joked with a wink directed at Blaine.

"Oh my god. Tina…" Blaine groaned, turning his reddening cheeks away from the girl. Tina only shrugged and laughed as she turned back to lead the way back to Blaine's car.

"Hey! That's my boyfriend you're talking about Chang!" Sam interjected.

Blaine pulled out of Sam's grasp with an embarrassed, half-groan-half-chuckle. "You guys are so weird." He picked up his pace so he was walking ahead of his friends. What was he saying about needing this time with them again?

"Oh c'mon bro, I was kidding!" Sam hollered before chasing Blaine to where his car was parked. "Blam, remember? Blam for life! Blame til we die!" Sam chased the other boy around his car until Tina grew impatient and tired, making a pointed statement about the cold and demanding to be let inside the car. The boys threw one last snowball at each other before Blaine unlocked the doors, allowing the three to enter the already warm car (the perks of being fancy and having a car that can be started by the key fob).

The car ride to Blaine's house was spent, for the majority of the time, with Sam whining about his hands stinging and asking for advice on his relationship with Brittany. No one brought up the incident back at Nice Buns out of respect for Blaine, the subject added to the list of things Blaine requested not to talk about right below a certain someone and situation.


"All I'm saying is that I have a right to be upset." Sam concluded firmly as they cleared their boots of any traces of snow on the porch rug before taking them off and walking into Blaine's house.

"Yeah, but you know Brittany. She cares about you she just really loves her cat." Blaine supplied lamely. He had no idea what to even say about the situation. Brittany really loved her cat, that much was always going to be true about her.

"Blaine we were supposed to sing to the person we wouldn't want to leave the world without speaking to first, I sang to her and then she sang to her cat!"

"Okay yeah, but Sam she just got out of a relationship with Santana. Of course she's not fully ready to go there again." Tina offered as gently as possible. Sam was obviously getting sensitive about the subject that he brought up no less.

Sam's eyes narrowed on Tina as they walked into the kitchen. "So you're saying I'm just the rebound." He crossed his arms over his chest in defense of his bruised ego.

Tina huffed in annoyance. He was being difficult. "No Sam, that's not what I'm saying."

"That's not what she meant Sam, you know that. Brittany just clearly isn't ready so you'll have to be patient." Blaine tried to help as he dug through the pantry for some snacks. Tina was sinking in the sea of Sam's melodramatics and the whole thing was becoming a touchy subject.

"What and end up like you and Sebastian?" Sam spat and regretted the words as soon as the words fell from his treacherous lips. Blaine slowly walked out of the pantry in time to witness Tina punch Sam on the arm. The tall blonde immediately fell into a babbling mess of apologies, but the damage was done.

Blaine said nothing, simply turned back into the pantry, grabbed three bags of Doritos, wordlessly handed Tina hers and tossed Sam his bag of cool ranch (Sam's least favorite).

"Blaine" Sam started, voice heavy with remorse. Blaine rolled his eyes up to meet Sam's as he perched himself stiffly on the stool across from his friends. Still, he said nothing.

Tina shoved Sam, her best bitch glare in full force, you know, in case Sam wasn't sure just how royally he fucked up.

It hadn't taken long for that mess of a situation to be brought up. Blaine hadn't really expected to go all winter break without it coming up, though he hoped that by some miracle he would. He was deeply bothered—bitter even—with how just the utterance of Sebastian's name, never mind the entire situation being thrown back in his face, brought on every emotion he had carefully stacked, deep, in the back of his mind tumbling to the front. He very much didn't like the way the unease settled in his body, or the way his heart was had immediately dropped down to his toes. Maybe he was more angered by the infuriating way his body betrayed him than with Sam's lack of tact.

"Blaine I'm so sorry."

"You should be" Tina mumbled under her breath.

Sam ignored her and continued "I was way out of line man."

Tina scoffed

Blaine gave a minute nod. "I was only trying to help."

"I know man. I'm sorry. I got all girly and sensitive an-ow!" Tina was not going to let that "girly" comment slide either. She swung her leg out and kicked Sam's ankle effectively interrupting him. "Really Tina? Whatever. I'm sorry Blaine." Sam finished. He would have kicked himself too if he could—he'd tried once; it didn't work out very well.

Sam held out his fist tentatively. "Still bros? "

Blaine tutted and rolled his eyes. "Shut up. Of course we are" he bumped Sam's fist with his own.

Tina sighed heavily in relief and smacked Sam over the head one last time for good measure.

"Ow! Abuse!" Sam accused, tossing some chips at Tina before stuffing a handful into his mouth. It hit him immediately that, yeah, he actually hated these chips. The face he pulled as hechewed was the most disgusted and humorous face Blaine had ever seen. Tina and Blaine laughed at the other boy.

Blaine and tried to regain some semblance of normalcy even if his stomach was still tightly tangled in an impossible knot.

"So…" Tina treaded carefully, "since it's been brought up…"

Blaine engaged Tina in a staring match that lasted just shy of an eternity before relenting. Her eyes were wide and intrusive and her jaw was set—she wasn't going to let this go.

"What about it?" Blaine groused, making a show of stuffing chips into his mouth and chewing slowly.

"What are you going to do? Because what happened at sectionals—"

"I know." Blaine interrupted. The memory of that night was so fresh it was as if it happened only moments ago. He probably looked like such an ass up there flailing across the stage incoherently, but he was so thrown by the entire situation. The last thing he expected was for Sebastian to look at him like that, to sing like that, and for him no less. What was he even supposed to make of it? Sebastian would probably flip back to pushing him away anyway. What was he supposed to say to that?

"And Eli—" she pushed leaning on her elbows and tilting her head to find Blaine's line of sight. He didn't look up at her, just kept staring the bag of chips in his hand.

"Yeah I got that part too Tina, what's your point?" he snapped, finally meeting her gaze with eyes that were a picture show of sadness, weariness, and exasperation alike.

"My point is you can't act like it never happened, all winter break."

Sam alternated his gaze between his two friends, holding his breath and hoping this didn't turn into another mini fight. He figured it was best he kept quiet.

"That's not what I'm doing…" Blaine narrowed his eyes at Tina. He wasn't in the mood to be interrogated. Not about this.

"All I'm saying is: you can't keep it bottled up forever Blaine."

Blaine let out an exasperated grumble of. "I'm not bottling anything Tina. I don't know what to do. I don't want to talk about it because I don't know what to say. I. Don't. Know." Blaine tried to get a hold of his emotions but it was no use. "I don't get it and I don't get him. I don't know what he wants or what I want. He and I haven't even talked, and this sucks. That's all I've got. Happy?" Blaine offered lamely, hoping Tina would let it go for now.

There wasn't much else he could say on the matter. Not when he and Sebastian hadn't even spoken. That last week before break it was as if the other boy didn't even attend the same school. He knew Sebastian was giving him space, knew he said he would wait but he also knew that Sebastian didn't take rejection well. He didn't know if he even wanted to give Sebastian another chance.

Then there was Eli. He didn't even know what he was doing when it came to Eli anymore but he like being with him. He could tell—practically feel—Eli growing more and more fond of his company and he knew it would bite him in the ass eventually, but he didn't want to not have Eli around either. All of it was too much to think about and only served to successfully give him the worst headaches so he chose not to tread those waters for a bit. He wanted to enjoy his winter break, not spend it exhausting himself over his boy problems.

Thankfully, she gave him a simple nod and a small understanding smile and let it go.

The three put the conversation behind them for the rest of the night. They'd fallen asleep in Blaine's media center to the soft lull of the quite voices coming out of the speakers. They had been watching late night talk shows before they dozed off, the boys sprawled out on the floor and Tina comfortably on the couch.


Blaine was awakened the next morning by the sound of his phone ringing non-stop. He peeked one eye open, reached his arm out to grasp his phone and tilted it so he could see the number on the screen.

When his eye focused on the name that appeared, he jolted up, tangling himself in the sheets his mom must have come down and covered them with. He ran one hand through his matted curls and the other gripped the phone so tightly it was in danger of being pulverized.

The commotion pulled Sam out of his sleep. The blonde managed a groggy "Who is it?" through a yawn as he stretched his limbs. Tina came out of the bathroom, having woken up hours before, and stopped, confused at Blaine's expression and mildly amused by Sam rolling about on the ground trying to get a good stretch in. "What is it Blaine?" she asked turning her attention back on Blaine.

Blaine ignored his friends, or maybe hadn't even heard them, his entire focus locked on the name flashing on the screen of his phone. He quickly pressed answer before the call went to voicemail and brought the phone to his ear.

A loaded sigh came through the line followed by a rushed and uneasy "Blaine…"

Blaine wasn't sure what his face was giving away but he noticed Tina and Sam were becoming increasingly fidgety with concern.

"Who is it?" Sam echoed, his voice hushed for some inexplicable reason.

Before Blaine had a chance to respond the voice was back on the line dripping with need and shattering every wall of protection Blaine built up, as if they were made of cracked glass.

"Blaine.."

"Seb?"


SATURDAY

Sebastian slumped awkwardly in his mother's grasp. Her arm was wrapped, too tight, around his waist as she introduced him to some highbrow guest of whom he'd already forgotten the name. It was far too early in the morning to be bothered with remembering anyone's name. Couple that with the fact that he was at the absolute limit of just how much he didn't care and you have what's-her-face's name going in one ear and out the other. He smiled despite his discomfort, a weak and stiff smile, but a smile nonetheless. With all the trouble he stirred in the past weeks, this was a far better punishment than being across the room standing rigidly beside his father and enduring his periodic harsh side-eye glances, dripping with unmistakable disappointment every time he was forced to introduce Sebastian as his son.

So he played along, saying little and ignoring how his body curled into his mother's side so naturally. It made him sick to feel his heart rush at the affection. It wasn't real. He could feel the tension behind the action. She felt out of her motherly element because she was. It didn't stop how much he needed it though. And it he couldn't find the resolve to pull away from it as he would usually do. He thought, for a moment, on the way the older lady his mother was speaking to regarded them with such fondness. She was effectively fooled into believing they were a happy family. Amazing.

He had to wonder if these people even knew what love was, if this—his mom's act—was being conceived as love.

He cringed at the thought, but once he mentally went there he couldn't stop. He looked around and saw himself here, years from now, a part of this god forsaken world and it became hard to breathe. His mother smiled up at him and it felt like plastic cutting through him and suddenly her arm felt like it was burning through his skin. He didn't want this. He didn't want any of this ever. He physically jerked out of his mother's hold without even realizing what he was doing.

When his mind caught up with his body and emotions he registered the confusion in the eyes of his mother and her company. He just barely mumbled an apology followed by a request to be excused before shuffling towards the kitchen. He managed a few audible apologies after every minor collision he caused as he weaved between their guests.

This was probably the eighth time this morning alone that he wished his parents had taken to their usual tradition of disappearing during the holiday break, and it was only just a little after: 10 AM. Victor and Renée were holding their second business brunch at their home and Sebastian found that he missed the haunting silence that he'd grown accustomed to over the years around the holiday season.

He meant to cut through the kitchen and disappear to his pool house. He figured, having already making his appearance and general round greeting the guests, he wouldn't be missed if he slipped away. He paid little mind to his surrounding as he walked through the hall and into the kitchen. Even still it was the thickened air of tension in the room that stopped him in his tracks before his eyes caught sight of the two patrons already occupying the kitchen.

His father fidgeted uneasily next to a woman Sebastian vaguely remembered. Despite their efforts to feign a casual conversation the entire room reeked with the stench of their guilt. Sebastian felt his lingering sickness climb up his throat and swallowed thickly. He backtracked three steps before turning fully on his heels and retreating towards the foyer at full speed. He had to leave this freak show. He just barely collided with Yesenia in his hast to get out; the commotion catching his mother's attention. She rushed over as gracefully as she could, pulled the two aside, and, looking as stern as her features would allow, demanded an explanation.

"What is going on?"

Yesenia was at a loss for words and in her defense she didn't know what was going on. She silently pleaded with Sebastian to say something, anything at all, because the look in Renée's eyes meant her job was on the line if this was her fault.

"Sébastien?" Renée's voice took a softer quality when directed at him.

"I need to go" was all Sebastian had to offer. His resolve couldn't only do so much to keep his emotions at bay before his father emerged from the kitchen with that woman—all traces of what happened wiped from their faces.

Sebastian couldn't remember the last time he allowed himself to become so emotionally invested in the dirty laundry his family worked so hard to keep hidden, but it was beginning to feel like the walls he built were slowly turning to straw just in time for the wind to blow with what seemed like the force of a hurricane.

He resented who he was becoming. If this was what it meant to care, then he didn't want to. He took one glance at his mother and father and then the woman standing next to his father and scoffed. With that he turned his back on his family, put on his coat and, his boots and grabbed his keys and stalked off into the cold without a word. People wondered why he hated the holidays so much. The list of reasons was endless. Add this mess to the very top.


Unfortunately, it only took all of 15 minutes for Sebastian to find himself in yet another situation that which put him ten steps closer to being fully done with what the year had to offer. One minute he was driving, then there was a pop and some horrific swirling, possible imminent death, and then stillness. All of which landed him in his car in a snowy ditch with his head bowed between his hands on his steering wheel. He waited, breathing heavily, until his heart stopped trying to break through his chest and only when he had his pulse under control did he reach out a shaky hand to grip his phone and dial the first number that came to mind.

The phone rang and rang and rang again before taking him to voicemail. Sebastian huffed impatiently and called again in a vicious cycle. He was starting to feel like maybe Blaine was ignoring him and the thought made his head throb painfully, not that he could blame him. He just really needed Blaine to answer the damn pho—

The dreaded ringing ended abruptly. Only this time instead of taking him to Blaine's voicemail greeting, which was sweet albeit increasingly frustrating, there was shallow breaths crackling through the line. He didn't say anything but he was there and that was enough.

Sebastian let out a lengthy sigh. He couldn't get a hold of himself. He was cracking. His voice came out weaker than he would have liked as he spoke. "Blaine…"

There was a long pause of nothing. Sebastian heard Sam in the background asking who it was, but it didn't seem like Blaine was going to say anything. Maybe things were worse off than he thought. He couldn't stop the desperation in his voice even if he tried. "Blaine?"

"Seb."

A wave of relief washed over him at the sound of Blaine's voice and once the walls cracked under its weight it began to crumple. :Blaine. Come get me. Please."


Blaine drove as quickly as he could through the snowy streets without putting himself and others in too much danger. He spent most of the drive willing the predicted snow fall not to happen as he drove down an isolated road. Otherwise this mission would turn into a hopeless search as he wouldn't be able to see. Luckily there weren't many cars out that morning. Unluckily he was having trouble spotting Sebastian's car and he was pretty sure this was the road Sebastian had told him he was on. Was it? Blaine slowed to a stop and searched the road in front and behind him. He couldn't have passed him…

Blaine was about to pull out his phone and call Sebastian when he noticed a black car rolled into a ditch. That's when the panic set in. That was Sebastian's car.

Blaine quickly pulled up next to Sebastian's car. He threw his car into park, wrestled out of his seat belt and jumped out of his car. He hadn't even bothered to shut the door as he ran to Sebastian's aid. He slammed his gloved hands into the driver side window causing Sebastian to jump and look at him, eyes wide like the world was ending. His reaction only served to spur Blaine on. Blaine began to pull on the door handle as if yanking it would miraculously unlock the door.

"Sebastian!" His breath fogged up the window as he spoke so he wiped as he talked. "Oh my god, Sebastian, are you okay?!"

Startled by the sudden urgency, Sebastian unlocked the door allowing Blaine to forcefully pull it open. There wasn't any visible damage to his person, but the lack of bruises on Sebastian's body did nothing to ease his panic. Sebastian had been in an accident. That was enough to unleash something primal and protective in Blaine.

Sebastian struggled to fight off Blaine's searching hands. "Blaine stop. I'm okay—oh my god—Blaine!"

Both boys stilled at his outburst. Sebastian brushed Blaine's hands off of him and pushed him back until he could step out of the car. Blaine all of the sudden felt very foolish as the silence between them expanded. He watched as Sebastian sorted himself out, zipping his coat and wrapping his coat around his neck. The silence stretched on to the point of awkward.

"My tire popped." Sebastian explained, pointing lazily at his tires. It was apparent he wasn't clear which one it was that blew as Blaine noticed the tire he pointed to was fine. "I called for it to be towed.

"I know how to fix a tire Seb. It'll be a while before the tow truck shows. We could—"

Sebastian let out of snort, effectively interrupting Blaine's suggestion. He knew where it was going. "I'm a Smythe Blaine. I've never changed a tire and I don't intend to start now." He replied simply as he slid his hands into leather gloves and decidedly ignored just how much he had sounded like his father in that moment. "Besides, it's cold and I have something I need to do…if you don't mind—uh—taking me…that is."

Blaine nodded without hesitation and stopped short of reaching for Sebastian's hand; because it was second nature to do that, but it shouldn't be. Not anymore. "Um, yeah sure." He mumbled, turning quickly to walk back towards his open driver seat door.


Riding in the car with Sebastian was reminiscent of the ride home for Thanksgiving after the whole Scott incident. They didn't say much to each other, other than Sebastian mumbling directions when needed. Honestly, Blaine couldn't quite work out why Sebastian called him if he didn't even want to talk to him.

Sebastian sat stiff beside him, body leaned so far away from him Blaine was certain the other boy would lean his body out the window if he could. He didn't break the silence though. It didn't seem like it was up to him to do that even if it was his car they were in.

Blaine's heart began to race when he started to make sense of the direction Sebastian was leading them in. The other boy rarely talked about his past when they were…whatever it was that they were. Seb hated addressing any family matters and grit his teeth through his words when he couldn't avoid it. So Blaine wasn't sure what to think when his suspicions were confirmed and they were sat in the parking lot of the Westerville cemetery.

Sebastian wouldn't meet his eyes and Blaine could see he was struggling to breathe without labor or unease.

Blaine was speaking before he could stop himself. "Why did you call me? I mean. Why me? I'm sure Hun—"

"I didn't want Hunter to come. I wanted you." Sebastian made eye contact with him for the first time the entire ride and Blaine was struck breathless. This was the most vulnerable Sebastian had ever allowed himself to be without a fight and Blaine could see that he was terrified, but he was allowing Blaine in. Blaine watched paralyzed in his seat as Sebastian unbuckled his seatbelt and scooted out the passenger door. Sebastian shut the door gently, walked towards the entrance of the cemetery and paused.

Blaine wasn't sure what to do with himself. He fidgeted in his seat waffling about in the air of this new territory. He assumed Sebastian wanted to do this alone, but the other was stopped at the entrance like he was waiting. Blaine felt Sebastian was waiting for him, maybe, in an unsaid invitation he wasn't willing to articulate. So Blaine took a chance. Even though it wasn't in the plan, Sebastian trusted him to be the friend he needed and Blaine decided he could at least set aside their differences for this.

He tried not to think too much on what this meant—tried to push down the rush that arose when he stopped beside Sebastian, seemingly giving him the strength to walk on. His presence did that. He felt selfish but he couldn't help the thrill that caught his heart.


They'd walked back and forth and around and back again. It didn't seem like Sebastian knew where to go and it wasn't like Blaine knew who to look for. It wasn't like he was going to ask either. He didn't want to push it.

Sebastian stopped suddenly and turned to walk in the other direction only Blaine was behind him (which apparently he momentarily forgot), consequently, the taller boy wound up bumping into Blaine and accidently stomping on his foot with the finesse of a bumbling hippo. Blaine would have laughed in any other circumstance, but this wasn't the time as Sebastian looked like he was a breath away from an absolute raging outburst.

Deciding it was time to step in, Blaine took off one of his gloves and stuffed it into his pocket before peeling off one of Sebastian's and carefully stuffing it alongside his own. He slid his bare hand into Sebastian's and laced their fingers together. He took a break and looked up at Sebastian expecting some kind of lash-out. None came.

Sebastian for his part held onto Blaine like a life line, but he made no eye contact.

Blaine spoke softly. "You haven't visited in a while have you?"

Sebastian dropped his gaze down to his feet shuffling the snow around him. "No."

"Can I ask who we came to see?"

Sebastian nodded. "My grandmother. She died when I was fourteen. I haven't come back since."

Blaine nodded. "Well the snow isn't really helping much, is it?" He offered because he knew Seb was tearing himself apart over not being able to find her. "I could help if I knew her name."

Sebastian looked down at the tombstone beside them and cracked a smile. "You already did."

Blaine followed his line of gaze and read the name on the dark marble stone that caught his friend's attention. 'Catharine Smythe.'

"This is her?"

"Yeah.

Blaine could see the heart wrenching mixture of heartbroken adoration pooling in Sebastian's eyes when he looked at his grandmothers name. He didn't comment on it. He let Sebastian have this moment.

They just stood there like that for a moment—Blaine staring at Sebastian staring at his grandmother's grave. Something changed in the way Seb held himself. He had relaxed a great deal, but he also seemed so fragile. Blaine was witnessing the waves of stress rise into the cold air. He was watching Sebastian's walls crumple. He'd never seen a more beautiful reveal. Sebastian was so honestly present in this moment, without any disguise, that Blaine thought he might not even recognize the boy in front of him.

Sebastian shoved as much snow around as he could with his boots to make a place for them to sit. It didn't help. Blaine could feel the snow wetting his pants. The ground was cold and they were kneeling uncomfortably on the ground as close as they could get to each other. Not to mention he couldn't get his shivers under control. None of that mattered though. None of that mattered because Sebastian hadn't let go of his hand. Nope. Instead he pulled Blaine close and shoved both of their hands into the pocket of his coat. It was kind of gross, what with their hands being all oddly sweaty, and clammy but Blaine didn't' want to let go. He really, really just didn't.

They were silent for so long, Blaine hadn't expected Sebastian to say anything. When the other boy spoke he'd been so lost in his thoughts the sound of Seb's voice made him jump.

"I don't know what to say to her." He sounded like what Blaine would imagine a younger, vulnerable Sebastian sounded like, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Say anything."

"Like what Blaine? She's dead. What do people say to people who've left them like this?"

And there went the thread that defined the line between "Sebastian Smythe" as everyone knew him and Sebastian—this Sebastian—up in flames before Blaine's very eyes. He was finally starting to truly see the other boy for the first time.

"Tell me about her."

Sebastian struggled a bit to reposition himself so he was sitting cross-legged on the ground without letting go of Blaine. When he finally managed he waited for Blaine to do the same before speaking. "I was her favorite." Sebastian started with a fondness Blaine had never heard in his voice before. "I have four cousins. They're all worse than me, I think. Not that it matters. She loved all of us, but I was her favorite. She loved me and I felt it. I always felt it."

Blaine only nodded. What more could he say? He understood how heartbreaking his situation was, but Sebastian knew that already; he didn't need the affirmation. He was sorry, but it wasn't his fault. He couldn't say it was okay, because it wasn't. Even if Sebastian had him to relate to, it was never okay that a parent take their love away because of something no one could change even if they wanted to. So Blaine nodded and squeezed Seb's hand affectionately because he knew what that felt like. "You're grandmother sounds amazing."

"She was. Sometimes I couldn't believe how my dad could have possibly been her son and be the person he is. The only times he ever spent time with me outside of his stupid business things was when she made him. "

Blaine shook his head at the cold image that immediately came to mind whenever Victor Smythe came up. He knew through word of mouth around school that Seb's parents were still home. He knew the reason Sebastian was out here looking for his grandmother's love had something to do with his father.

"Seb, your dad will regret the day he let himself lose you over something so ridiculous."

Sebastian chuckled in that way he usually did when Blaine said something that insinuated he thought he understood something he knew nothing about. "Blaine, in order for my dad to be disappointed that I'm gay, he would have needed to want me as a son to be proud of. It doesn't matter that I'm gay. He doesn't want me at all. He doesn't' want my family."

Nothing could have prepared Blaine for that kind of tragic heartbreak. He was yet again left searching for words to say. Somewhere along the line he decided he knew what Sebastian's pain was like based on his own. He never bothered to really look at Sebastian's situation; all this time he hadn't known all the things that made Sebastian who he was; all this time he hadn't truly known who Sebastian was. It all made so much more sense now.

Blaine could safely say he'd never known guilt the way he felt it now. He'd been selfishly using Sebastian as a way to make himself feel better about his stupid situation with Kurt and when Sebastian couldn't be who he needed him to be he cast him aside. But what about what Sebastian needed?

Blaine reached his hand out and traced out "Catharine Smythe" slowly, sending about a million and one apologies. He hadn't known, but he never bothered to find out either. He silently promised her he'd be a better friend (at the very least) to Sebastian.

The two boys sat with Catharine for about an hour or so more. Every now and then Sebastian shared stories and his favorite things about her with Blaine until the cold got to be too much.

The drive back was a far better improvement as far as the comfort between them was concerned. There had been a paradigm shift in their understanding of one another. Sebastian still said very little, but he leaned closer and he still hadn't given up Blaine's hand. It was awkward driving with one almost numb hand, but that didn't bother him. Sebastian was comfortable with him now. He was honestly completely comfortable with him.

They arrived back to Sebastian's car at the approximate time the tow truck arrived. The heavy-set man grunted his apologies and got to work immediately. He evidently had a lot of calls, no surprise. Neither boy felt it necessary to explain that it was okay. The man wasn't listening anyways.

"You good to give him a ride home kid? Or will I be hearing from you too?" The man asked, and maybe he was trying to make a joke, but he was too exasperated for it to sound anything less than aggravated.

"Yes. We'll be fine, Sir. Thank you." Blaine replied politely.

"I don't what to go home." Sebastian admitted once they were back in Blaine's car.

Blaine looked over at Sebastian with a sympathetic smile. "Okay."


When Blaine walked Sebastian through the front door of his house, he was relieved to find that Sam and Tina had already left. He hadn't checked his phone all day but he assumed they'd non-stop texted him to find out what happened. He'd already decided that the details of the day's events would stay between him and Sebastian.

Nora didn't question him as she watched him lead Sebastian up the stairs after they removed their boots and their coats. Even his father who was also home could feel that now wasn't the time to question what was going on and enforce the "house rules." For that Blaine was eternally grateful.

Blaine took the last turn for showers and found, upon his return to his room, Sebastian sitting on his bed, in lounge clothes he had left a while ago and sipping hot chocolate his mom must have brought up along with cookies. He appreciated her more now than ever. He realized he was lucky; so much luckier than he ever acknowledged.

That night Sebastian was asleep before he even managed to finish his hot chocolate. Blaine crawled up close next to him where he was curled up in the center of the bed. He brushed Sebastian's soft hair out of his face and gasped. He tried with all of his might to regulate his breathing. He tried with all his will not to make a sound. He tried with every last ounce of his being to ride out the devastation that came with the realization that he was helplessly in love with the boy who hadn't even the slightest idea what he was doing to him. He was in love with Sebastian.

He couldn't understand how something so good could scare him to the point of tears. He didn't know what to do. He was shaking for Christ sake. He needed to be closer, he decided, so he curled up into Sebastian's arms. He nestled himself into the curve of the taller boys form and clutched at his shirt. With an exhale he let the love that coursed hot through his body spill out and around them freely while Sebastian was ignorant to its existence. He took one last look and Sebastian before shutting his eyes.

Blaine let the sound of Seb's heartbeats relax him. He had to be careful. He made a promise to Catharine Smythe and he intended to keep it. He would be a better friend to Sebastian because that's what he needed.


I Genuinely hope this was worth that excessive wait. I'm so so sorry about that yikes. So let me know what you thnk. I hope the ending made up for at least some of it yeah? maybe? I hope so. I hope you've all been well. Literally I'm so nervous about this so yeah let me know what you think. 3

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and followed and favorited and just stuck around. I truly appreciate you!