CHAPTER TWELVE
Ducky followed Gibbs into the elevator. As they were heading to ground level, the doctor reached over and flipped the emergency switch, stopping the car.
"That's an old trick, Dr. Mallard," Gibbs said with a smug smile. "And it's not even yours. No points for originality."
"You are an ass," Ducky said.
It was blunt and forceful and totally unexpected. Gibbs was struck speechless, and the grin that had been on his face was instantly wiped off.
"Those people out there," Ducky continued, "those people who are not your team, as you so eloquently reminded them just now, have quite possibly lost another leader – if not permanently, then certainly temporarily – and all you can do is glare at them and tell them to go find someone else? Perhaps it would be easier for them if you tossed a badge and a gun at someone. I'm sure that would make all the difference."
"Look," Gibbs began, angrily.
"I'm sorry," Ducky said, advancing on him a step, "but it is not your turn to speak as yet."
Gibbs opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it and crossed his arms defiantly, almost daring the older man to continue.
"Obviously, you've regained some of your sense," Ducky continued, "since you managed to find your way here from Mexico. And the fact that you built a team and went after Tony earns you points on your nearly decimated score card …"
Gibbs opened his mouth, but Ducky took another step towards him, nearly backing him into the corner of the elevator car.
"… but," Ducky continued, "unfortunately, whatever it was that brought you here was not enough."
"May I?" Gibbs said, tersely, with an eyebrow raised.
Ducky glared, but did not stop him.
"I could have stayed in Mexico," Gibbs said angrily. "In fact, I should have stayed in Mexico. Tony didn't need me; Jess didn't need me; NCIS sure as hell didn't need me."
"Oh, poor Gibbs," Ducky said, with fake sympathy. "He returns as rescuer and savior and is trumped by everyone." Ducky smiled, the look on his face dangerous. "I understand that the team you led was the last one in," he said. "You must have been a bit discomfited by that."
Gibbs ignored the taunt. Ducky was baiting him, and he knew it.
"Look," Gibbs said, slamming the wall of the elevator with his fist. "I came back. I can't help it that it was all but over when I got there."
"No," Ducky said. "You can't help that it took you nearly three days after Jessica first called you before whatever guilt or sense of obligation you had finally made you get on a plane to help. Do you have any idea how long three days can be when you are being held captive and tortured?"
"Yes," Gibbs said, quietly and intensely. "I do." He waited for Dr. Mallard to realize his faux pas and apologize.
"Well, then," Ducky said, with equal intensity and calm, "it's even more reprehensible that you did not return."
Gibbs was incredulous. "I had no idea that Tony was captive somewhere!" he exclaimed. "All Jess had to go by was some feeling she had about him being in trouble. Some silly coded message and a … a … feeling."
"Ah," Ducky said, calmly. "The gut." He looked at Gibbs with a slight grin. "That only works for you, doesn't it? I'd forgotten."
"Are you done, Doctor?" Gibbs said, his hand reaching for the elevator switch. "I need to go."
"I'm not even close to being done, Jethro," Ducky said, allowing Gibbs to start the elevator moving again. "But yes, you do need to go. Because for some reason, Tony still thinks very highly of you, and he would want you there." Ducky stressed the word, making it clear to Gibbs that he'd not likely be welcomed by anyone else.
The elevator landed on the main floor and the doors opened. Gibbs exited, and then turned and looked back at Ducky.
"He's going to be alright," Gibbs said. It was unclear whether he was trying to reassure Ducky or convince himself.
"For everyone's sake, Jethro, I hope you're right," Ducky responded quietly, his fire gone. "I know it sounds melodramatic, but I'm not sure that this team would survive the loss of you and Tony."
Gibbs watched as the elevator doors closed.
Gibbs walked up to the information desk at Bethesda Naval Hospital, fully expecting to be told that he was not on the "approved visitor" list for Anthony DiNozzo. He was surprised to find out that he was one of only six people listed. The nurse pointed him in the direction of Tony's ICU room. As expected, Jess was there, reading movie reviews aloud from The Washington Post. She glanced up as Gibbs stood by the door.
"You don't have to just stand there, Gibbs," Jess said with a small smile. "You can come in."
"I wasn't sure," Gibbs said, confused a little by her welcome. He wasn't as relieved as he thought he'd be to not be banned from the room or on Jess' shit list. He'd been ready to argue, to defend himself, to justify his actions. It threw him off.
Jess folded the paper and stood with a stretch. Gibbs nodded towards Tony, who was strangely still, and had several IV lines and other tubes connecting him to various machines and IV bags. "How's he doing?" Gibbs asked, with a slight frown.
"About the same," Jess said with a sigh. "'Serious, but stable'." She laughed. "No one ever calls Tony 'stable' unless he's being hospitalized." She brushed a non-existent lock of hair off Tony's forehead, her hand lingering a bit. "Every time he moves, I think he's coming around, but they're all just involuntary muscle things."
Gibbs looked more closely at Tony, who didn't seem to have any visible bruises or injuries. Jess saw his confusion.
She chuckled. "He looks pretty good for someone who was beat on for the better part of a week, doesn't he?" She looked at Gibbs, with no residual anger at all. "It's mostly internal, and it's all hidden by hospital gowns and blankets. The guys who did it definitely knew what they were doing. He took a lot of shots to the kidneys and lower back. A few to the back of the head. Other places. His entire left side is black and blue. The doctors removed his spleen and are waiting for the brain swelling to go down. As if Tony needed his head to swell any more than it already was." She smiled down at her friend, as if willing the teasing comment to wake him up and make him shoot back a remark of his own.
Gibbs looked at Jess more closely. She had light circles under her eyes, a bandage on her jaw, and some visible bruises on her neck, near her shoulder. She had another bandage peeking out from under the sleeve on her left arm.
"Are you okay?" he asked, looking back up at her.
She looked over at her arm. "That?" she said, looking back up at him with a shrug. "I'm a great strategic mind, but I can't get from point A to point B without getting hurt," she said, angry with herself. Gibbs' eyebrows went up; there was clearly more to the story than he was getting. "Like I needed another scar," she said with a rueful laugh.
She looked up at Gibbs and her smile was weary but sincere. "It was good of you to come," she said. Gibbs couldn't quite place the tone of her voice, but it sounded the way Shannon used to sound when he'd tell her he was deploying again and she'd say, "I understand." It pulled at his heart a little, and he wasn't sure what to say. He wasn't sure what was expected of him.
"I'm sorry …" Gibbs faltered. "I'm sorry I didn't come sooner …" His voice trailed off.
"No worries," Jess said, working the kinks out of her neck. "There's no way of knowing if it would have helped or not. And you're here now."
"Better late than never," Gibbs said softly, not really believing it himself. She was so … quiet. So calm. So understanding. He wondered if she was in shock … some form of delayed reaction shock.
Jess laughed. "You were expecting to come in here and be booted out by big burly men hired to keep you, specifically, out of Tony's room." He cocked his head to the side with a half-smile.
"I considered it," Jess said, with that same unreadable, tired smile. "I'm sure that me yelling at you would make you feel better …" She gave him a questioning look, and he nodded. "But making you feel better isn't on the agenda right now." She smiled. "Although if you'd like to get yelled at, Ducky might be available."
Gibbs smiled and nodded. "Thanks," he said. "I've been there already."
"Of course …" Jess began, her eyes flashing just a bit of either anger or humor – Gibbs couldn't quite tell which, "I reserve the right to take a swing or two at you once Tony's better."
"Understood," Gibbs said.
They looked at each other for a second.
"Do you need anything?" Gibbs asked, sincerely.
She sighed. "Could you just … could you sit here for a few minutes and keep Tony company?" Jess said, reaching for an address book and a pad of paper. Her voice wavered a little, as if she was trying not to cry. Gibbs wanted to reach out and hug her, but he didn't.
"I need to call Tony's father – he's stuck in Europe, at an airport where everyone's on strike. I haven't called in a while, and I should give him an update."
"Of course," Gibbs said. "Take all the time you need."
"Thanks," she said. "I'll only be a few minutes." She looked at Tony. "The elder DiNozzo isn't nearly as talkative as his son." She smiled at Gibbs and then glanced back down at Tony. "Talk to him. Familiar voices are good." She walked out the door and to the nurse's station.
Gibbs stood and looked down at Tony, not sure what to say. He somehow didn't think ordering him to get better was going to work this time.
