Monkey: Whoo! I'm updating sooner this time! I own nothing!


Light felt something tugging on his pant leg. He looked down and saw Near.

The albino stared at him expectantly, his arms raised up towards Light.

Light smiled and picked up the small five year old.

"Light!!" Misa called. "Where are you?? The director wants you!"

Near clung to the brunette, out of all the actors, Light was his favorite.

"Want to come with me?"

Near nodded. Light walked towards the set of their show, Cheating Fate.

"Light!" the director yelled. "They're at it again! Make them stop!"

The brunette rolled his eyes. "L!! Mikami!!"

"Why do they always fight?" Near asked.

"Apparently, they're fighting over me," Light said. "Which is stupid because I don't like either of them with all the problems they cause me."

He walked to the two fighting ravens.

Mikami glared at L. "He'll be mine."

"Wrong. I'm his love interest, he'll be mine."

"You're both wrong and will soon be falling out of a twenty story building if you two don't knock it off!" Light exclaimed.

The two ravens glared at each other again, then turned around and crossed their arms over their chest.

"Really, you two act more like kids than the kids here do," Light said with a shake of his head.

Near watched Mello and Matt run by with water guns. "I wouldn't count them all out."

"I'm sick and tired of your fighting," Light began. "Why can't you two just get along? I don't like either of you!"

"Forgive me, Light, but it is in our character, there just isn't a way around our hatred." L stated, bringing a thumb to his mouth.

"We won't stop until one of us has you," Mikami announced.

"Oh dear God…" Light muttered. He sighed. "Fine, just stay away from me the kids, and away from the director when you two have your little fights."

L and Mikami nodded.

Light walked away with Near still comfortable in his arms. "Want to get some ice cream?"

"Ok."

As soon as Light was out of earshot, L and Mikami glared at each other again.

"I will kill you." L stated.

Mikami scoffed. "You can try. But I will win his heart."

"We'll see about that."

---

Knock Knock Knock

Light yawned as he opened the door to his apartment. He stared at the person on the other side of the door then slammed the door shut, pressing his back against the door in a desperate attempt to keep it from being opened.

"Light! Don't ignore me! I love you!" Mikami exclaimed, pounding on the door with the bouquet of roses and box of chocolates in his hands.

"It's three in the morning! Go AWAY!" Light ditched the door, went to the closest window and opened it. He looked down. It was two stories high…

The door was kicked open. "LIGHT!"

"Oh God." Light took in a deep breath and jumped out the window.

Mikami freaked. "LIGHT!!!"

Light landed easily on the ground and took off running. It's sad when I have to run away from my own home… He thought as he ran. After a couple minutes, he realized he had no where to spend the night.

Ah, maybe I could go to…

He knocked on a door.

It opened and it revealed a small albino.

"Hi Near, can I stay over for a while?" Light asked nicely.

Near rubbed his eyes and yawned. "Mikami and L again?"

"Currently just Mikami, but yes."

Near raised his arms up. Light smiled and took that as a yes. He carried him back inside the house and closed the door behind him.

"You need to get a restraining order against them." Near said, closing his eyes.

Light sighed. "Believe me, I will once Cheating Fate is done."

---

"Light, you must not take on that sort of responsibility, it is not in your hands, you are not the one who must bear the guilt of it all," L spoke.

Light clenched a fist. "L, what happened was my fault, don't try to persuade me to think otherwise. I have to do this."

L walked towards him and got really close to his face.

"Hey wait, is this in the—AH!" Light fell on his butt when L tried to kiss him.

L frowned. "Come on Light, at least one kiss, it will make this scene more dramatic, don't you think?"

"CUT!" The director yelled out. "L! Are you trying to ruin me?!"

L put his thumb in his mouth as always. "Not in the least. I think we would get even more viewers if we added some pre-manslaughter romance between Light's character and mine."

"Bull. You just want a reason to kiss me." Light shot, standing up with as much dignity as he could. And for Light, that was a damn lot.

"That too." L admitted.

Light rolled his eyes. "Honestly, you two are going to drive me insane."

Light was suddenly tackled by a black blur.

"AHH!" Light yelled out.

"Light! Be mine!" Mikami exclaimed happily.

"Ugh! Get off of me!" Light tried to shove him off, but Mikami had a strong grip around his waist.

L glared death at the raven on his Light. Unfortunately, Light didn't know he was L's, but that could be changed…

He grabbed the back of Mikami's shirt and pulled him off, throwing him across the stage.

The director shook his head. "Take five!" The camera stayed on the three even though they technically weren't supposed to be rolling.

"You dared to lay a hand on my Light?!" L asked.

"Light isn't yours! I will convince him to love me!" Mikami replied confidently.

Light shook his head. "Don't I get a say in this at all? I mean, I don't love either of you…" Did he say 'my Light?' Since when am I his?? … Like hell I'm his!

The director looked at the three curiously. He whispered to the cameraman to keep rolling, this was great material!

L and Mikami glared at each other, sending electricity through the air.

"To the prop room!" they yelled, then ran off.

Light watched them leave. He yawned. "I'll be in my dressing room." He waved to the director and the cameraman who followed the two ravens and walked away.

The two kicked open the door of the prop room.

L went for a gun while Mikami went for a sword.

POP

BOING

L stared at his gun. "Stupid toy guns."

Mikami stared at his sword. "Stupid rubber bouncy swords."

They tried again, and when they got the same result, they went for random things to throw at each other.

"What were they expecting in the prop room, a real magnum?" the director whispered at the cameraman who made sure to get everything.

The cameraman thought for a bit. "Wasn't there a mistake in one of the prop guns?"

"A mistake?" The director echoed.

The cameraman nodded. "Isn't one of the guns real?"

The director looked back at L and Mikami who were throwing Near's blocks at each other.

"Let's watch and see!" The director said eagerly.

Morbid much? Ah, but who could blame him? Those two were the reason his blood pressure was always through the roof every day after shooting.

Mikami dodged some of the garden gnomes L was throwing at him. Why were there even so many of them in there?!

Why are there so many gnomes in here? L wondered as he picked out some gnomes from a mountain of them.

Mikami found some fake animals and started throwing them at L.

This place has issues… L thought as he dodged a rhinoceros, a giraffe and an otter.

Near walked by the prop room, wanting to get some of his toys out to play with them. He stopped under the threshold, eyebrow raised at the two ravens throwing and dodging gnomes and the director and the camera guy watching them, as if this was a movie.

Seriously, was everybody insane here or what?

"You will never be able to stop me!" Mikami exclaimed, jumping on top of a fake pyramid and throwing another garden gnome at L. "Your acting career will end right here!"

"In your dreams!" L hid behind a sarcophagus. "Just admit it, I have more of a chance than you do!" He spotted another magnum. He knew it was fake, but why pass up the chance to scare the shit out of Mikami? L reached for the gun.

Near shook his head. "Poor Light…" He left without even entering the room, going to find Light so he could stop the fight before one of them ended up killing the other

Near knocked on Light's dressing room door.

"Leave right now or Hell help me, I will—" Light spoke from behind the door without opening it.

"Light?" Near cut in, before the brunette could finish that threat.

"Near?" Light opened the door. "Sorry, I'm just so used to it being L or Mikami at my door. Anyway, what's up?"

"L and Mikami are trying to kill each other again," Near told him simply, as Light picked him up. "They're in the prop room."

The brunette rolled his eyes. "Then let them, God knows it would give us all a break and prevent us from getting an ulcer or something."

"If they succeed, then one of them will be left, and he'll be all over you, constantly and always since there will be no one in his way." Near deadpanned.

Light stared at the albino, blinked and started running towards the prop room.

He entered it and noticed the silence and L staring at Mikami's body, sprawled on the ground face down. L looked up at Light and nonchalantly tossed the magnum somewhere behind them.

"… We were too late." Light murmured. NO! Now my life's gonna suck!! More than it already does!!

L stared at Light. "For the record, I wasn't the idiot that got a real magnum placed into a prop room."

The director's eye twitched. Light's did too.

Near stared at Mikami's body. He looked at the sarcophagus by them. "I have an idea."

---

Mello and Matt walked up to the sarcophagus with a big DO NOT OPEN sign on it, making want to of course, want to open it.

They did and Mikami's dead body fell on them.

They screamed and ran away.

Light looked at Near, the two a little ways away, watching for the reaction.

Light shook his head. "Why?"

"It was fun. And L is a bad influence."

"… I figured."


Monkey: Hope you guys liked the chapter! And yes, I will begin to use the awesome ideas you guys gave me starting in the next chapter! x3

Cookee: You're updating.

Monkey: ... Yes.

Cookee: And that research paper due on Monday that you haven't even started yet...?

Monkey: O_O SHIT! --runs to work on research paper--

Cookee: --shakes head-- See you later everybody!