A/N: thanks so much to everyone who's reviewed/faved/followed/silently read (lol) this story! I don't intend for updates to take as long as they are (it feels like its been forever since the last update) but, I've been busy and distracted, so my apologies :) thanks as always to midnightwings96, whose help and motivation I greatly value :D I have quite a bit planned for the next few chapters, including something that can be only described as an epic lemon, and I'm excited! Anyway. I hope everyone likes, thank you all again! :D
Selina stared blankly at Dr. Jones, letting her nonchalantly-spoken words rattle around in her brain until they settled down and the reality of them finally hit her.
"Six weeks?" Selina repeated, and her doctor smiled and nodded. Why in the world was she smiling? This was horrible news!
Selina looked over at Bruce, sitting at his usual place at her bedside, holding his daughter and totally lost in her, oblivious to the devastating news. He was smiling broadly and running his finger down Helena's ridiculously plump cheeks, staring into her open, alert eyes, cooing - actually cooing - to her. He was so freaking adorable that Selina wanted to throw him down and have her way with him then and there, and yet now she finds out she's supposed to be celibate for six weeks while she recovers from childbirth?
Dr. Jones handed Selina the rest of her discharge instructions and explained, "Six weeks is the standard amount of time we tell patients to wait. Sometimes we'll cut it down to three weeks if there were no complications, but you tore pretty good, Miss Kyle. You don't want to open those stitches."
Selina grimaced and nodded in resignation. She was in a decent amount of discomfort from the aforementioned stitches, and she'd known she was going to have to take it easy for awhile, but six weeks seemed... excessive. She was pretty sure the longest that she and Bruce had gone without it since they'd been together was two weeks, and that had felt like two months.
"At your six week checkup, we'll make sure everything's healed properly and get you started on whatever birth control you're interested in," Dr. Jones said reassuringly. "I'm sure it seems like a long time now, but the weeks are going to fly by, and you won't really be tempted once the exhaustion's hit you."
Selina snorted. Maybe that was true for most couples, but she and Bruce were not most couples. "Great."
The doctor patted her shoulder and smiled. "The first two weeks are the hardest. Once you've got a routine down, things will get a lot easier. How's the nursing going?"
"Fine, I guess," Selina shrugged. "Still hurts."
"Milk come in yet?"
Selina shook her head.
"Well then it should either today or tomorrow. And be prepared for it to hurt. They swell up like balloons and get as hard as rocks."
As Selina dreaded this odd thing that would be happening to her body soon, she glanced again at Bruce and found that not even the mention of "rock hard balloons" had stolen his attention from his daughter. Maybe he would deal with the six week-ban much better than Selina would.
She took a deep breath. They'd he home within the hour. That's when the real adventure would begin.
They'd barely slept at all during Selina's two and a half-day stay in the hospital, but it hadn't caught up to them yet. They were far too paranoid to let Helena stay in the hospital's nursery while they slept, so what few naps they did get were courtesy of Alfred and his insistence that they let him keep an eye on the baby and get a few bloody minutes of sleep.
But the newness of it all kept them going. Bruce changed Helena's first diaper - Selina had been impressed by his lack of qualms about it - and they'd both watched in fascination as a nurse taught them how to properly bathe the child. For her part, Helena so far had only cried when she was hungry - which was usually once an hour - or sitting in a diaper that needed to be changed. Otherwise, she snoozed, waking for not much longer than an hour total a day, but when she was awake, they soaked up every moment of it.
They got used to a certain routine at the hospital, and now having to go home brought a fresh, new wave of anxiety over both mother and father, but they did their best not to let it show.
When they did finally get home, walking through the front door of their luxurious beach house as a family of three for the first time, the first thing that struck Selina was the amount of food lining the counters in the kitchen. She stood in the doorway of the kitchen and glanced to Bruce, who was toting a very asleep Helena in her car seat, and then set down her hospital bag on the floor with a quizzical look.
"That's all Alfred," Bruce smiled. "Molly left some stuff too. They both made us enough meals to last a couple of weeks."
She looked again into the kitchen, saw baskets of muffins on the table, fresh fruit everywhere, and she could only imagine what was inside the refrigerator.
It was too much. Bruce saw the tears welling up in her eyes before she felt them, and she wanted to curse at herself - wasn't childbirth supposed to signal the end of crazy hormones? Was nine months of more crying than she'd done in her entire life not enough?
"What's wrong?" Bruce asked gently, reaching out to her.
"Nothing," she shook her head, avoiding his touch and heading back down the hallway. "Let's take her to her room."
The first thing they did when they got to Helena's nursery was change her clothes, which was a nerve-wracking experience. Bruce started out the process but became too anxious about hurting her somehow, and Selina took over from there. She found the hardest part to be getting the pink and purple onesie she'd chosen over Helena's head, not because she had an overly large head - she didn't - but because like Bruce, she was irrationally afraid that it would somehow hurt her. She seemed so tiny and breakable, like just the slightest slip of fabric could leave her bruised.
Once that was over, Selina wrapped Helena in a fuzzy pink blanket the way that the nurses had taught her to, and placed her in the white, lace-trimmed bassinet that sat next to the crib in the nursery. Helena snoozed through it all, and as she slept soundly in the comfort of her new bed, Bruce and Selina fidgeted as they watched her.
They stared down at the sleeping child for a good couple of minutes before Selina broke the silence. "Do you think that... maybe... we could move her into..."
"Our room?" Bruce supplied eagerly.
Selina sighed in relief. "Yes. I don't want to leave her in here alone."
"Thank God," Bruce grinned, also relieved. He then took the bassinet and wheeled it gently into the next room, their bedroom, and placed it next to their bed. The top of the bassinet was level with their mattress, and they both felt instantly better about the set-up. Selina hadn't been expecting that, but after all, Helena had been inside of her for nine months, and it was only natural that she'd want to keep her close for awhile longer, she reasoned.
Now that they were back inside of their own bedroom, the exhaustion began creeping up on both of them. Selina sat down on the edge of the bed and kicked off her shoes while Bruce quickly did the same thing.
"You want something to eat?" Bruce offered as Selina yawned and scooted back on the bed.
She shook her head. "No. I think I might want a nap."
A nap sounded glorious to Bruce, and within another moment they were under the sheets and half-in each other's arms, closing their eyes in relief at the comfort of their bed. It had never felt more comfortable.
Bruce's eyes fluttered open, however, when Selina pressed her back to his chest and held his arm around her waist. She was almost asleep already, but he had a question on the tip of his tongue. "Why were you crying downstairs?"
Her tired eyes opened slowly, and she hesitated to answer. "I'm not... used to things like that. I'll never be used to having people do things for me or... care. You wouldn't understand."
He didn't bother denying it. "Maybe not. But you deserve it. You deserve... family. And now you have one that nobody can take away from you."
She wanted to curse again - her eyes were watering instantly at his words. But how could she not get emotional? She really did have a family of her own now, and a small but incredibly significant network of people around her who cared enough to cook for her, postpone honeymoons to meet her child, and even name their own children after her. She didn't deserve it. She'd never even dared to wish for such a thing. But now it was hers.
Bruce saw the tear rolling down from the outer corner of her eye and gently wiped it away with his thumb, leaving a soft kiss on her cheek afterwards. He knew she wasn't crying out of sadness, and it took a lot to hold himself together and not cry right with her. All of this really was a miracle, and neither of them had any idea how they'd gotten so lucky.
The moments passed without any further words, and eventually their eyes closed again. Slumber found them exactly five minutes before it left Helena, and thus began the death of sleep.
Sleep for a bit, cry, wake up, diaper change, feeding, sleep for a bit, repeat. On paper, it sounded relatively doable. In practice, it was more tiring than running across rooftops in five inch heels all night without a break.
The whole first day home passed in a blur of unsatisfying naps and fumbling attempts at decent childcare that came to fit the definition of on-the-job training. In the middle of the night, Selina tried to put a diaper on Helena backwards, and took a full few minutes to figure out her mistake. She then fed the baby and got her back into her bassinet before passing out again, and when she woke up half an hour later, it was to throbbing pain in both of her breasts and a soaked shirt.
She cursed as Bruce woke up, dragging his head up and off his pillow as he squinted at the sight of Selina tearing off her shirt. "What's wrong?"
"Stupid milk," Selina muttered, rubbing the tops of her swollen breasts and wincing at the pain. They really were hard as rock now - how was she supposed to lug these things around all day, let alone sleep despite them?
She glanced over at Bruce and found him already back asleep. She sighed in irritation but quickly let it go, laid back down, and tried to get comfortable once again.
When she finally succeeded in falling back asleep again, Helena was awake and crying again within the next ten minutes.
Bruce would wake up for a few moments and help with whatever he could, but mostly, Selina let him sleep, since there was only so much he could do while she was nursing anyway. She let him change a few diapers - Helena seemed to go through at least one every two hours - and let him hold her while she made a few trips to the bathroom in the course of the night. Then she would try to sleep while Helena slept, but she found herself too wired and far too aware to get very far. She would lay there, watching Helena's little chest rise and fall with her breaths, get nervous when there would be a seemingly-long pause between them, and get angry when she heard Bruce snoring next to her.
She knew she shouldn't begrudge the man a few hours of sleep - he'd slept just as little as she had during their hospital stay, and he did awaken every time Helena cried and would ask what he could do to help. But it was hard to not get annoyed when she couldn't sleep longer than a few moments at a time herself.
By the time the first morning at home rolled around, Selina was half-convinced to switch Helena on to formula and make Bruce take shifts with her if every night would be like the last.
That first morning, Selina left Helena in Bruce's arms after he'd heated up one of their pre-made breakfasts and took refuge in the bathroom, hoping to get herself together and ready to take on the day. Instead, she took one look at her reflection and nearly had a fit.
Her hair was horribly tangled and half-unravelled from its ponytail, and her lack of a shirt revealed a barely-deflated belly that drew her ire more than anything else. She still looked quite pregnant, except her belly now had a looser look about it - which wasn't an improvement. Stretch marks abounded, of course, but they somehow looked worse when taken into account with her belly. Her eyes were already surrounded by dark circles, and her pregnancy-induced mild acne was still spattered across her forehead, but it was the belly that she kept glaring at.
Before, it was bearable being enormous because there was a reason for it. Now that Helena was earthside, the sight of herself was a jolt that she didn't want, and she suddenly felt too self-conscious to wear just a bra around Bruce.
Oh sure, she thought, he'd tell her she was beautiful no matter what, and she knew that he would mean it. But he was a man and no man preferred a woman in this state, right? If they were being honest, anyway.
She then made a decision. She had six weeks until they were cleared for sex, so in that time, she'd spend every free moment in their gym room and attempt to get back into shape in record time. She did vaguely recall the doctor telling her to wait a few weeks for heavy exercise, but she shrugged it off - she'd be fine. And getting started as soon as possible would be best for her mental health.
After cleaning up and splashing some water in her face to wake up some more, Selina left the bathroom and crept quietly into the bedroom, finding Bruce sitting up against the headboard as Helena slept in his arms. She couldn't help but smile a little bit at the sweet expression on his face as she quickly shrugged into a shirt from her dresser.
When she got back into bed, Bruce smiled at her and said quietly, "It's nice to be home with her."
Selina yawned and nodded. "Yeah."
"You okay?"
She halfway wanted to slap him upside his enviously well-rested-looking face in response, but settled on nodding again. "Fine. Just tired."
"You know," Bruce said, "you can pump a little if you want and I can feed her a few times a night. Take turns or something."
The urge to slap him quickly dissipated. This was why she loved Bruce Wayne. "That would be amazing. Do I even have a pump, though?"
"Yeah," Bruce half-grinned. "I sort of had a last-minute panic-fest and bought half of Babies R Us online the other day. I bought a lot. Anything that looked like it could be important or good to have. Shipping cost more than the actual items. A lot of it's in the basement but the pump I got is in the closet."
Selina smiled despite herself, imagining Bruce sitting in front of his laptop, scrolling through Babies R Us's website and having no idea what hardly any of the items were but frantically hitting "add to cart" on everything anyway. "What would I do without you?"
He grinned and then quickly moved his attention to Helena, who began to stir in his arms. A cry came a moment later, and Selina held out her arms with a sigh.
As expected, the issue was hunger, so Selina pulled up her shirt and popped out a breast - awkwardly, since she had yet to buy a proper nursing bra - and Helena latched on happily. Selina then self-consciously pulled up the bed sheet so that it covered her belly, because she could feel Bruce's eyes on her, and after a moment, she turned her gaze on him and indeed found him staring.
She raised an eyebrow at him, and he quickly smiled and shook his head. "Sorry. It's just... beautiful."
He was looking at her in that reverent way he did when they first found out that she was pregnant, like it was a privilege just to look upon her. It felt a bit too intense, so she tried to crack a joke. "Sure it's not just the giant boobs?"
His eyes flickered to her chest and he chuckled. "Those are officially ridiculous."
She laughed. "I know, they're like comic book-heroine boobs. Except I'm pretty sure Wonder Woman's don't leak."
He laughed with her and rubbed the top Helena's head through her pink cap as she suckled away. "I'm not complaining."
Selina gave him a sideways glance and said, "You know we're forbidden to have sex for six weeks. Doctor's orders."
Bruce looked up at her, poker face on, and repeated, "Six weeks?"
She nodded. "The joy of tearing and stitches, apparently."
"It's because of the stitches?"
"Yeah. Otherwise we could probably get away with three weeks or so."
Selina glanced down at Helena then, and found her already asleep at the breast. Were babies really supposed to sleep this much?
Bruce took in a deep breath. "Well. Okay then."
Selina snorted at Bruce's reaction and then gently laid Helena down between them in the bed, and they both leaned in close to the child, propped up on their elbows. Helena stirred just a little bit, and her tiny hand wrapped around Selina's index finger as Bruce gently rubbed her cheek with his finger.
All was silent for a moment, and Selina was considering going back to sleep until Bruce's voice softly interrupted her thoughts. "I want to have a christening."
Selina blinked and looked up at him, her brows furrowed slightly. "Really? Are you even Catholic?"
Bruce shook his head. "No, my parents took me to a non-denominational church when I was little. But aren't you Catholic?"
"Vaguely," Selina shrugged. "I mean, my mom was." She arched a brow. "Wait - how did you know?"
Bruce grinned a little sheepishly. "I have my ways. I did my research on you when you stole the pearls from me."
"Right," Selina drawled. "And look where that got you."
Bruce grinned and shrugged again. "Mostly I just want everyone to meet her. Fox, Blake, Gordon."
She understood that. And she wanted it for him. Those guys were all part of Bruce's family, blood be damned. "You'll have to pick a godfather."
Bruce only had to think for a second or two before he answered. "Blake."
"Really? Not Alfred?"
"Alfred's more than a godfather," Bruce replied softly. "And I'm pretty sure godfathers are supposed to be young."
"True," Selina replied. "Okay. He'll get a thrill out of that."
Bruce smiled. "Yeah. You don't mind doing this? The christening?"
She shook her head, looking down at Helena. "No. I think it'll be sweet. And I want everyone to meet her too."
"For my sake or for yours?"
Selina eyed him. "Is there really a difference?"
Bruce paused briefly before replying. "Careful. Talking like that with our baby lying between us makes it sound like you're committed. Maybe committed enough for -"
"Finish that sentence and you'll spend the next week on night duty with her," Selina swiftly retorted.
Bruce grinned. He knew better than to bring up marriage when Selina was sleep deprived and adjusting to the arrival of her first child, but he hadn't been able to resist. "Go to sleep for a bit. I'll watch her."
"Thank you," she breathed, dropping her head to her pillow.
One of Bruce's last minute panicked purchases was a comprehensive over 500-page book on the proper care of babies, and over the next two days, they ended up consulting the book a lot. They also bugged Alfred with common new-parent questions about how often a baby should poop - it seemed like entirely too much - and if it was normal for Helena to want to feed every half hour for three hours straight. To Selina's surprise, Alfred kept his distance - he told them that he was there if they needed him, but that the first week of Helena's life should belong to her parents alone. It wasn't easy for the old man to stay away from the little girl that he already loved dearly, and they knew it, but it was a gift to them that he knew they'd thank him for later. He knew all too well how quickly babies grew into children and children grew into adults, and those first precious days of a baby's life were irreplaceable.
Naturally, it was a week full of highs and lows. Selina tried to get the hang of breastfeeding and was discouraged by the pain of it, but Bruce encouraged her and she kept at it. She pumped so Bruce could feed Helena at night but she ended up waking up with him nearly every time anyway, resulting in both of them being exhausted by the time morning came.
They had nothing to compare her to, but Helena seemed to be a mostly happy baby. She only cried when she had a reason to, and continued to mostly sleep the days away, though in short intervals that kept either of them from achieving much rest themselves. Adding to the stress were their jobs - Selina would be taking over the shelter soon, and Bruce was constantly fielding calls regarding his hospital, which was still in the renovation phase. The thought of juggling it all plus Helena was beyond daunting, and the frustrations all came to a head on their fifth morning home.
It was early and Helena was in her bassinet, sleeping after a full feeding, and Selina had just stomped back into the bedroom after seeing the kitchen for the first time in almost two days. She stood over the bed, dressed raggedly in sweatpants and one of Bruce's black t-shirts, glaring daggers at Bruce as he looked up innocently from his phone.
"What?" he asked obliviously.
"The house," she said, forcing her tone to be quiet, "is disgusting."
Bruce sighed and put his phone down. "I've been doing my best."
Her eyes widened. "There's trash all over the kitchen floor, leftovers left out on the counter - don't even get me started on our bathroom, I asked you to clean it three days ago."
Irritation flashed through his eyes. "I haven't exactly been getting any more sleep than you have, in case you hadn't noticed."
"That's not the point!"
"Selina," he hissed under his breath, "be quiet. You'll wake her up."
Be quiet? She narrowed her eyes. "You did not just tell me to be quiet."
He rolled his eyes. "Selina... seriously, now is not the time for this."
"Just get out of here for awhile," she snapped, walking around the bed and crawling in on her side. "I want to be alone."
She was doing her best to irritate him, and when she heard him laugh humorlessly and get out of bed, she knew she'd succeeded.
That was why she was surprised to hear him turn back halfway out the door and say, "You could be a little more grateful. I've been feeding you and taking care of you all week, and before now I'd been doing a lot better with picking up after myself."
"Actually," she replied, not bothering to turn and look at him, "Alfred and Molly's been feeding me. And I never asked you to do anything but clean the bathroom. I can take care of myself."
He snorted. "Okay. Well, if that's what you want, fine with me. I've spent enough of my life helping people who didn't appreciate it."
Then he left, and she instantly felt rotten.
One diaper change and one feeding later, Bruce had still not yet returned to their room, and after putting Helena back into her little bed, Selina decided to do something she rarely did - swallow her pride and go after him. She blamed the sleep deprivation for all of it - even Bruce had shown irritation and snappiness that she'd never seen from him before.
Of course she could take care of herself - she could do damn near anything, being Selina Kyle. But she didn't have to prove that to anyone, not here. She didn't want to fight.
She walked out of her bedroom and down the hallway, having a feeling where Bruce was, and her hunch was right. He was in their gym room, sweating out his frustration on the floor. She instantly wished she'd stayed in her room.
He was in the middle of doing sit-ups - a lot of them, if the thin sheet of sweat on his brow was any indication - and was wearing only a pair of black boxer briefs. She was pretty sure she saw the words "Calvin Klein" somewhere on the waistband, but she didn't have time to confirm before she realized she was half-drooling and that he'd caught her.
He jerked his head back to shake off the damp hair that had fallen into his eyes and ceased his efforts, sitting up and giving her an appraising look. She forgot why she'd come looking for him in the first place.
Six weeks. She cringed and tore her eyes away, wondering how she was ever going to survive this, and started walking back towards their room. She heard him following her, and it sent a subtle thrill through her veins.
Six weeks, six weeks, six weeks, she repeated in her head like a mantra, as if it could keep him from following her into the bathroom connected to their room. It didn't.
She waited until they were both inside of the bathroom to turn and look at him. She couldn't help but feel the disparity between them as she looked upon his mostly-naked, sweat dampened figure again. He looked... magnificent, if she was being honest.
She glanced into the mirror above the sink before them and immediately looked away. She was pretty sure she hadn't brushed her hair in the last day and a half. This disheveled person in the mirror wasn't her, and this strange body didn't feel like hers. And she definitely didn't understand the hungry gleam in Bruce's eye as he looked her over.
"I'm sorry," she blurted out. "I shouldn't have snapped at you. I'm a bitch."
It seemed to catch him off guard. He paused and then said, "No, I'm sorry. I've had a lot on my mind, but... it's not an excuse."
She nodded and then slowly turned towards the mirror. He saw the way she could barely stand her own reflection, and reached out to her.
His arm slid around her waist as she started dragging a comb through her hair. He knew she wouldn't want to talk about any self-image issues, so he tried reassuring her another way.
She closed her eyes and dropped the comb slowly when his lips pressed into the side of her neck. "Bruce..."
He put both of his hands on her waist and spun her around so that she faced him. His hands brushed her hair behind her ears but she avoided his intent gaze. "Don't, Bruce."
"Why not?" He kissed her jaw, then the corner of her mouth, pulling her close against his body.
"Six weeks," she replied, trying to pull away, but he held her in place.
"Six weeks of no sex," he replied, in between kisses that moved to her ear and left her close to breathless. "There are alternatives."
"Helena..."
"... is asleep," he said, pulling back an inch and looking into her eyes. "And there's a baby monitor right behind you."
She bit her bottom lip. Her hands found his waist, toying with the band of soft fabric that landed just on his hips, and she knew he could feel her hesitation.
"I just... I don't know."
He furrowed his brows and lifted her chin with his fingers. "You're nervous," he stated, a hint of surprise in his tone.
She was about to protest, or just tell him to get out, but then he unexpectedly picked her up and put her on the bathroom counter. Then their faces were level, and he nudged her knees apart to stand between her legs.
"I'll say this as many times as it takes to sink in," Bruce said. "I've never found you more beautiful than I do right now. I don't care what changes happen to your body. I don't care how many knots are in your hair. I want you."
"You're supposed to say that," she replied, but his voice was making her shiver like crazy.
"Doesn't mean I don't mean it," he said. "I do."
"You haven't seen me," she muttered. "My stomach, my... everything. And my stupid boobs will probably leak all over you. And if you touch them it'll hurt like hell."
As quickly as he'd picked her up, he yanked off her shirt and tossed it away. She tried not to to cringe as his eyes swept down her body.
A small smile danced on his lips as he brought his gaze back up to her flustered one. "Don't you know what it does to a man to watch the woman he loves carry his child? And bring her into the world?"
She shrugged. "Not really, no."
"It's made me crazy," he said in a low voice. "How else do you think I was able to survive your sex drive for the last few months?"
She smirked a little at that. His hands were on her hips, hers were behind her back on the counter, holding herself up. "So, what... it's an ego thing?"
He shook his head. "It's a lot more than that. And seeing you with her now, how you take care of her, how you love her... I didn't think I could possibly love you more but you keep proving me wrong."
She gave him a tight smile. "Still... I know how I look right now. You don't have to lie."
"I'm not lying," he replied, a bit more fiercely. "You know... this doesn't really suit you, this insecurity. You're Selina Kyle. You know damn well how sexy you are. And you know how much I love you and every inch of you. Stop trying to convince yourself otherwise."
She considered him, thought over his words, and quickly realized that he was right. As much as her current image didn't fit her perception of herself, it was only temporary. She'd get back into shape eventually, figure out how to manage her time so that she could keep up her appearance, and even if that took time, that was fine.
And six weeks was a long time away. Helena was still sleeping soundly, and the man she loved was standing in between her legs, nearly naked, beautiful, staring at her with enough intensity to make her shudder in anticipation.
She placed her hands on his chest, and ran them slowly up the toned muscles there until her fingertips hit his shoulders. "I was planning on taking a shower."
"So was I," he murmured back.
She shook her head, grinning a little bit. "It's hard to believe that a week after pushing a human being through my body that I'd already be this horny."
Bruce smirked and picked her up again. Her arms and legs wound around him automatically. "I don't find it hard to believe at all."
She held on to him as he moved them towards the shower and opened the door, pressing a kiss just under his collarbone and moving her lips up to his neck as he adjusted the temperature. She knew the spots on his neck that were the most sensitive and gently sucked at them, earning a groan as he set her down on her feet and broke the contact.
She let him take off the rest of her clothes - she still cringed a little bit but the hunger in his eyes still deepened at the sight of her bare form, and that was all the encouragement she really needed. He motioned for her to step inside the shower, then slipped off his underwear as she took her place under the falling hot water. He left the shower door open after he got inside, so that they could keep an eye on the baby monitor on the counter, and then set his sights on the woman he found more beautiful than he could stand to describe.
From where he was standing, he couldn't understand her newly developed insecurity. His eyes started at her feet and moved up slowly, taking in the shapely, long legs that had barely changed with pregnancy. Then there were her hips and thighs, larger and curvier, expanded to accommodate the birth of the child sleeping in the next room, and also the spattering of still-dark stretch marks that covered them. He didn't mind the extra curves, and the stretch marks only served to remind him of how far she'd come and how much she loved him to bear his child. Then there was her belly, still quite round and pregnant-looking, and a few more stretch marks, but smooth and sort of cute to him. Above it lay her breasts, almost comically huge but terribly oversensitive and abused from the first week of nursing, and for her sake, he had to control his urge to reach out and cup them. Her arms and shoulders were like her legs, unaffected, but the long, gorgeous dark brown hair that spilled down her graceful back was a gift from pregnancy. It hit her waist and was half-soaked from the shower now, and he let his hands reach out to it as his eyes finally reached her face.
She hadn't worn makeup in a week, and he liked it that way. When not painted red, her full lips had a lovely, fleshy pink color to them, and those lips knew his body in ways no others ever had. Her cheeks were a little fuller from her weight gain but were as elegant as ever, flushed right now as steam rose and swirled around their bodies. Her eyes, ones that never failed to cut through him and seduce him at their slightest whim, were closed as the water rushed over her, and he couldn't hold back anymore - he pressed his body to hers, his chest to her back, and ran his fingers through her hair until he ended up at her scalp, where he started to massage lightly.
It was an innocent, loving touch, and she sighed contentedly as his fingers worked around her head in slow, soothing, relaxing circles. He continued with that for a bit, feeling himself harden as she leaned into his touch with her whole body, but he paced himself, opting to then wash her hair for her and let this be the slow, sensual experience she deserved it to be.
It felt like heaven to her, like pure luxury, and his arousal brushing against her from behind made her ache with the desire to feel it inside of her, made all the more powerful when she reminded herself of the fact that it couldn't happen.
He'd just gently pushed her head up after rinsing the conditioner from it when he gently turned her around and unexpectedly dropped down to his knees. She immediately suspected a dirtier reason for this but was contradicted by the feel of a soft pouf running along her foot and up her leg, his hands gentle on her, the smell of her flowery body wash wafting through the air as he took it upon himself to wash her whole body.
He touched her lovingly, reverently, letting his lips kiss places that he suspected she might dislike at the current moment - her belly, her stretch marks, her sides - and by the time he'd gotten back to his feet, she was a soaped-up, heavy-lidded mess, grabbing him and pulling him close with such force that it surprised him.
But he didn't let his lips touch hers quite yet. Instead, he kissed her cheek and pulled her back under the water, watching it rinse away the soap and feeling himself twitch at the sight.
He hadn't kissed her on the lips in a full day, he realized. That wouldn't do.
He didn't have to reach for him again. He flew forward and took her hard in his arms, pressing her against the shower wall, finally kissing her and wasting no time in tasting her mouth and stealing her breath with his tongue.
It was all habit, all physical memory, that made Selina automatically wrap her legs around him and grind their lower part together. His hands grabbed under her knees, also in habit, and pushed against her, and the friction was wonderful as they kissed each other into oblivion.
It wasn't until the tip of him almost slipped into her that they both realized they were about to break the rules, and Bruce quickly, but unhappily, shifted. He gave her a lopsided grin. "Oops."
Selina groaned. "I hate this."
He then placed her feet back down on the shower floor, then spun her around. Her palms found the wall and her legs spread a little bit instinctively. "Don't hate it," he replied simply, then found her arousal with his hand and made her bite back a moan.
His free hand brushed her soaked hair over her shoulder and brought his mouth to her neck, kissing, nipping, licking, all while his fingers carefully but firmly rocked her towards release. She was caught up in the moment, focused wholly on him, until she thought she heard a noise and her eyes flew open. "Was that -"
"She's fine," Bruce quickly assured her, his voice heavy and hot in her ear. "I'm keeping an eye on the monitor."
She nodded and closed her eyes, but she was distracted now, and Bruce could feel it. She was more tense now, not caught up like she had been, and he could almost feel her brain coming back to life and preventing her from being fully there.
So, determined to pull her back into the present, he spun her around and pushed her back against the wall. It took her by surprise, and she gasped a little bit when she suddenly found herself facing him. He kissed her hard, the way he knew she liked best, and as his fingers went back to work on her, his other hand cupped her cheek, crushing her lips to his.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and eagerly returned his kiss, liking the new position but still just a wee bit distracted. He caught her glancing off towards the monitor, and quickly took her by the chin and gave her another gentle shove against the wall.
"I told you," he said, "I'm keeping an eye on it. Relax." His lips trailed to her ear. "Don't think."
She shuddered a little bit and closed her eyes, digging her nails into his shoulders as his rhythm suddenly changed for the better and made her lose her breath. She always had been, and always would be, a sucker for that husky growl his voice became in moments like these, and it was all she needed to let go and let herself melt into him.
It didn't take long after that for her to come undone, shaking and gasping into his neck, kissing it as she slowly came down, having to make a real effort to keep her weak knees from buckling underneath her. He held her up, running his hands over her wet body, smiling a little when she turned the table and pushed him against the wall where she'd been.
She was a fast recoverer, always had been. She pressed her lips to his and then purred when she pulled away, "My turn to keep an eye on the monitor."
He wouldn't argue with that. He sensed some of her confidence back in the way that she kissed him and took charge, reaching between him and running her hand down over his chest and stomach. He stopped breathing for a moment when the same hand grasped him, held him in a firm grip of shower-moistened warmth, and then she was stroking, and he was closing his eyes in pulsing relief.
She knew how he liked it, read his signals fluently on when to quicken the pace and knew he'd shift and groan when she twisted a little on the way down and then took her time coming back up. She glanced out the door every few moments, shocked that they were actually getting away with this, and her hopes were quite high that they'd be able to keep the spark alive throughout their early parenthood.
She was driving him crazy, making him lose it enough to forget about her over sensitivity for a moment and run his hand over her breast while the other fisted in her hair. She bit her lip but didn't say anything, looking up to him to see his eyes closed and lips parted sensually, and the sight made her deal with the slight pain his touch caused. Then he squeezed a little bit and she fought a gasp that tried to escape her lips, focusing instead on him, kissing trails over his wet skin, anywhere her lips could reach, knowing he was close by the way his hips were jerking against her and the way his shallow breaths were getting shorter and more labored.
The hand in her hair pulled her close and he let his head loll on to her shoulder when he climaxed at last, letting out an undignified growl that made Selina hate the six-week ban even more - she could listen to the noises he made all day - but she kept herself calm, running her non-occupied hand through the hair above the back of his neck as he returned to some semblance of reality.
The water rinsed away the evidence of their tryst as he lifted his head and gave Selina a lazy, satisfied kiss on her lips, and then he looked down and realized he was still holding her breast. His brows furrowed for a moment before he smiled sheepishly. "I... sorry."
She shrugged, but took his hand in hers and tugged it away. "It's fine. It only hurt a little bit."
He opened his mouth to apologize again, but she stopped him with a kiss. They kissed languidly for a bit, until the water turned lukewarm, which was when they finally dragged themselves out of the shower.
They dried off in a mixture of silence and few words and chuckles here and there, ending up in luxuriously soft white fluffy robes and stepping completely silently back into the bedroom, careful not to wake Helena.
They ended up in bed, half sitting and half lying down, both of them peering into the bassinet, Selina basking in the warmth of Bruce's arms.
"I can't believe she's still asleep," Selina said drowsily.
"I still can't believe she's here," Bruce remarked in return, running his hand up and down Selina's fluff-covered arm.
Selina couldn't either. "I miss feeling her kick. I didn't know if I would, but I do."
"We can always have another baby if you want to feel it again."
Selina snorted loudly, almost loud enough to wake Helena. "Dream on, buddy."
Bruce chuckled. "Oh, come on. What's a few more?"
She turned her head to look back at him, incredulously. "If you aren't kidding, I will freak out."
"Of course I'm kidding," he said, pressing a feather-soft kiss to the tip of her nose. "But, maybe someday... one more baby would be nice."
The thought of going through all nine months of pregnancy all over again made Selina want to take a vow of celibacy. Or maybe drug Bruce long enough for an ethically challenged doctor to do a vasectomy on him. "You're nuts."
His fingers were in her damp hair now, trailing from root to tip, taking their time. "Actually... it's something I've thought a lot about ever since you got pregnant. We both know horrible things can happen, especially to people like us. And, just in case something ever did happen to us... I wouldn't want Helena to be alone. I used to wish that I had a brother or sister when I was a kid. Didn't you ever wish for that?"
Honestly, Selina was grateful that she'd been an only child. The life she'd been forced into would have been all the more horrifying if she'd had to drag a younger sibling into it. But in Bruce's case, she could understand his point. She couldn't even argue his logic, either. "Look, I get where you're coming from. But right now I don't want to even think about getting pregnant again. One kid is overwhelming enough."
Bruce nodded. "Fair enough."
Selina sighed, staring at Helena's sleeping form, unable to take her eyes off of her daughter. She felt her heart swell almost impossibly every time she looked upon that chubby little face, and she had to wonder - was it even possible to love someone that much? She didn't think she could ever feel more than she what she felt for Bruce, but this... this was different. It was all-encompassing, overwhelming, the most life-changing thing she'd ever felt. She'd never understood her father less than she did now, because she would cut herself and die choking in a pool of her own blood before she would ever hurt her child.
"I'd give anything to talk to my father about her," Bruce suddenly said unexpectedly. Selina didn't often hear him speak of his parents, especially not like this. "And about being a father."
She felt the same way about her mother. She knew there weren't really any words that would make him truly feel better or ease the never-ceasing, dull pain of someone you loved being ripped away from you.
But she'd still try, anyway. Before, maybe she wouldn't have, but it hurt to see Bruce hurt. She turned in his arms and faced him, placing a hand on his jaw.
"He'd be proud of you, Bruce. I might not have known him, but any parent would be proud of you. And he must have been a good man to have a son like you."
He gave her a small smile, bringing his thumb to her chin and then tracing the edge of her bottom lip with it. "I hope Helena turns out like you."
"You sure about that?" she asked flatly. "I'd say one jewel thief with a record as big as phone book is enough for one family."
Bruce smirked. "You know exactly what I mean."
She did. Her heart swelled again, and this time, she was sure it really did burst from within.
