Light
Deidara faintly remembered what had happened. His arms pulsed gently with pain, and his mind seemed to be barely awake, but he was, nonetheless, hazily aware of what was going on around him. There seemed to be a machine near him—a monotone beeping being emitted from it. It made Deidara sleepy. He fought the feeling for a moment, but he couldn't resist the sweet temptation of unconsciousness. And so he didn't.
Deidara was once again conscious. The world was slightly clearer now, his eyes able to drink in his surroundings. White walls, that much he managed to determine. He saw movement near him, and his body tensed; his heart began to beat faster. Suddenly, the machine near to him began to beep faster, as if it were in tune with his heart. A blurry figure came closer to Deidara. He squinted, but he could make no connection to the face. However, he managed to, barely, catch three words.
"Doctor…. He's awake…" Deidara slipped back into blackness.
Deidara awakened the touch of skin on skin; someone's hand was resting on his. His mind was much clearer now, he could think clearly, but his senses were still somewhat deluded. He tried to speak, but the words felt like honey in his mouth.
"Doctor… He's awake," a female voice that Deidara faintly recognized said. "Oh thank god…"
"Stand back," A female voice that could only belong to the doctor commanded, "I need to check his vitals and make sure he is in stable condition. I don't want him passing out on us again."
Deidara smiled lazily as the doctor quickly checked his body for signs of problems. This tickles… my arms don't hurt anymore though. Sleeping sounds good… but I have too much energy. Deidara began to sit up, and his action was met with immediate chaos.
"Nurse, he can't move yet. Sedate him please." The Doctor snapped.
"But I thought you didn't want him to go back under," a new voice belonging to the nurse said quizzically.
"I don't, but it is better for him to be put out then to possibly damage himself further by movement. Sedate him, now!"
Deidara frowned—all this noise hurt his ears. Maybe he would go back to sleep, just to show them who was in charge. As if they could tell him to stay awake. As Deidara closed his eyes, he felt a cool feeling spread throughout his body, and the world became fuzzy again. Sleep overtook him almost immediately.
"Is he awake?" A the familiar female voice asked, concern in her words.
"Let me check," the Doctor said. Deidara had the idea that fooling the doctor would be fun. He did his best to show no signs of consciousness.
"I'm sorry," the doctor said dejectedly, "he hasn't woken up yet. The last dose might have put him into somewhat of a coma. I didn't want to, but I had no other options. In this state, his physical conditions will be well preserved. Oh, and that young man, Tobi, he has asked for your permission to see him again.
"Tell him not yet," the voice said sternly, "He is my son, and I will decide when that monster can see him."
"Very well, I shall return." The doctor said. Deidara felt his mind swim with confusion. Did she just say… son? Could it be my mom?
"Mom?" Deidara said faintly. The reaction was immediate.
"Deidara? Deidara did you speak? Doctor! Doctor come quick, he's awake!" His mother, Mei Terumi, exclaimed.
Deidara's head hurt. His mom wasn't plaster-faced drunk? Why was she here—it's not like Deidara was in any trouble. He needed time to take this in. He closed his eyes and the harshness of the world vanished. He found it quite funny the voice's urgency seemed to reach its pinnacle as he drifted back into the sweet embrace of slumber. Who cares what it wants. I need sleep. And besides, what is my mom doing here? As if she cares about me. Deidara allowed himself to fully slip into slumber.
"Deidara," Tobi's voice rang out, piercing the veil of Deidara's hazy mind, "I… I don't have much time. The hospital staff won't will throw me out when they find me, and I only stalled the guards for a few minutes at best, but… I love you. Kisame told me everything, and I want you to know that I understand. Please… I love you, I miss you, and I want us to be… more than just friends. When they told me that you might die… I didn't know what to do. I couldn't lose you, and refuse to let you go. I know you can hear me… at least somewhat, and I want you to know, that you are going to pull through this… I will not let you die on me… are we clear? And, after this is over… I want us to be together… officially. I want you to be mine. I—"
"HEY WHO IS IN HERE!" An angry voice called out.
"Gotta run," Tobi said, a hint of mischief in his voice. Deidara heard Tobi push past the momentarily surprised guard and speed out of the room.
"Tobi…" Deidara sighed quietly. His head began to spin and he passed out.
Deidara woke up to the room swathed in darkness. He was alone save for the machine steadily beeping next to him. His head hurt, his throat hurt, his arms hurt, his chest hurt, and, for some reason, he felt like crying. What did Tobi say…? I feel like there is something I should remember.
"Hello…" Deidara said, his voice raspy due to his dry throat, "is anyone there?" The reaction was almost immediate. Tobi materialized from the shadowy interior and stood in front of Deidara.
"Deidara… Tobi said, tears already spilling from his blood eyes, "you are okay…"
"Why wouldn't I be?" Deidara said. He began to sit up, using his arms as support, but he cried out in pain as his arms buckled beneath him as if they were paper—the machine near him beeping out of control.
"Don't strain yourself…" Tobi said, concern almost masking the fear in his voice, "You are hurt." Deidara slowly looked at his arms, his eyes widening as he sees the many slits.
"Yeah… no shit," Deidara said weakly. Tobi smiled at the lame joke.
"Do you remember anything?" Tobi said, putting on a fake smile for Deidara. His face, softened by his worry, held an unearthly beauty, like a lost child.
"No…" Deidara sighed, "I remember you coming in to talk to me, my mother was sober, and there was a doctor…. Am I in a hospital?"
"Yes…" Tobi answered, "But that's it?"
"Yeah," Deidara sighed, grimacing in pain as he laid back down, "that's it… I'm sorry Tobi. I wish I knew more, but I can't remember. Between the pain, the haze, and the idea of how shitty I must look with you looking at me, I can barely stay awake, let alone remember anything."
"Go back to sleep…" Tobi smiled, "I will be here when you wake up." As Tobi finished speaking, he leaned in close to Deidara and kissed him, their lips meeting for the first time.
"To me… you are always beautiful…" Tobi whispered. This was the final drop that sent the flood of thoughts in Deidara's mind soaring free, and, as the mental dam broke and his memories rushed back too him, Deidara slipped back into the darkness with one though prevailing over all the others.
He kissed me.
"Deidara," Mei Terumi said, relief washing over her as Deidara's eyes blinked open.
"Yes," Deidara said, his words coming out icy. His mother was clearly stung by the coldness of his words, but he cared none. She hadn't cared about him or Sasori for years, and Deidara wasn't about to think highly of her.
"I'm glad you are okay…" Mei said quietly, "I was worried about you."
"That's a first." Deidara said harshly. Mei winced.
"I won't bother you right now," Mei said, tears brimming in your eyes, "I can't pretend like I didn't fail you and Sasori. I—"
"Failed us?" Deidara scoffed, "If we didn't have a mother, we would have been better off. You have done nothing save for the grief you caused us. If you are here hoping that I will love you, get out. The only thing you could do to make me happy is tell them to let Tobi in. Other than that, put me back under."
"The damage I have done to this family is irreparable," Mei cried, her sorrow no longer caged in, "I have failed you both in every way imaginable and then some. I wasn't there for my own son when he needed me. I was in the house and you called Kisame, practically a stranger. And you know what I realized? That saved your life. I would have wrecked the car or worse, and you would have died. Seeing you there on the ground unconscious in a pool of your own blood was the most horrifying I have ever witnessed. I don't want to lose you, and I won't drink anymore… I don't expect you to forgive me, but please hear me out. I love you. I will personally see to it that Tobi is in this room at all times. And, even though I know that I never will be, I will try to be the mother that you deserve. Sleep well, Deidara."
"I… love you…" Deidara said blankly, "I may not forgive you, but I do love you. Know that." Deidara shut his eyes and slept away the pain.
"Tobi," Deidara called out immediately as he awakened.
"I'm here," Tobi replied, appearing in front of Deidara. So my mom pulled through on that one.
"I love you," Deidara said.
"I love you too," Tobi replied. Deidara struggled to sit up, but Tobi met him half-way, and their lips met. This time, Deidara was fully aware of it, and, in his opinion, nothing in the world mattered anymore. He would have Tobi, Tobi would have him, they would be happy.
The fear in Deidara's heart vanished, and for the first time since he wounded himself, Deidara felt happy. And he held on to that feeling. For that feeling was everything. And, as long as he had it, nothing else mattered…
A/N: I lied... Short chapter -_-. I didn't want to do a really long one yet. This seemed like the right way to develop the chapter... ya know in short segments based on his consciousness. Anywayy R&R :D. Deidara is alive HOORAY. TOBI IS AWESOME. HIS MOM IS... Mei Terumi. I am running out of female characters -_-. Anyway. Things will heat up between Tobi and Deidara now ;) Oh, and if you have a suggestion for words to use for the... (Heated chapters) I am open to them. I really don't like saying crude words (dick, penis, cock) but disco stick is childish. So, tell me which you prefer I used please. OH!
ShoutOuts:
YfyF12: As always. I LOVE you GURLLLLL (lumpy space princess voice). Thank you for being so supportive. Stick with me through this. It is just beginning :).
Dragonfire44: :D You always leave me a paragraph review :3. Even though it is usually criticism... but hey, everybody's a critic right? ;P Thank you for always reviewing though, it means the world to me :)
Sucrosed: :D Ahhhh, yet another regular reviewer. I thank you kind sir... (kind lady if you are a girl .)
Over and Out (Glozell)
SoleixDeidara3 (That's a heart dammit)
I wish that you could heal my scars
But They remind me of what I am
I wish that I could rise with you to the stars
But I am trapped on land
I wish that you would love me
As much as I love you
But it is not meant to be
And we both know it is true...
