Author's Note: This chapter is dedicated to astopperindeath & The Alternative Source, two great reviewers who (incidentally) also happen to write great fanfic & who made me feel better on a day I was rather tired due to domestic squabbling.

About the bunkbeds… I know that Troy & Abed's sleeping situation is flipped on the show but I wrote this ages ago & I don't want to bother to change it now. I'd have to go back & edit chapter 4, too, & screw that. I'm too busy trying to finish this monster fanfic that's slowly morphing into Moby Dick. Oh, Cait, what have you gotten yourself into? Thanks to all the reviewers who are encouraging me to keep it up. And Katie Moon-so kind, thank you. Britta is a tricky creature to write because I essentially have to balance out three versions of her, seasons 1/2/3. But I love every version.

(P.S. Trewyn the Community expert, "Ginevra" is now "Geneva", per your correction. I think that was just me thinking in Italian… probably b/c I'm vacationing there this summer. Err, Italy, not Switzerland.)

Chapter 12: A Little Less Conversation

x

A beam of sunlight hit the bed and whacked me right across the eyes, making my first moments of arousal pretty painful. I hiked the covers high over my head. How had I forgotten to draw the blinds last night? And if it was morning already why did I feel so drowsy?

I checked the clock and saw that it was 6:22, roughly forty minutes before I was due to wake. But it was futile trying to catch any more snooze at this point. Thanks to the sun I was already up, so I figured I might as well get a head start.

The apartment was dead quiet as I padded out and over to the bathroom in bare feet. I'd just finished brushing my teeth and washing my face when the door creaked open.

"Oh!" I gasped, and then calmed down immediately when I saw it was only Abed. "Sorry," I giggled, clutching at my chest. "You startled me."

"You're up early." Abed's hair was sticking up in some funny places and he looked adorably rumpled.

"I know," I yawned. "I'm so tired though. I wish I didn't have class. If it wasn't for that I'd go back to bed. Why are you awake?"

"Troy gets night terrors sometimes," Abed said. "He kicks and it makes the whole bunk shake. It's hard to fall back asleep after that."

"Wow, that's a bummer." I grabbed my hand towel and wiped my face dry. "All yours," I said, moving to leave. He caught my hand and I stopped by the door. "What?"

"Is that my shirt?"

I looked down at myself and blushed crimson when I realized that it was, in fact, his. "Um, yeah."

"I was looking for that. I thought it got lost in the laundry."

"Oh, right. I saw it hanging out of the laundry basket and just, uh, borrowed it."

He frowned. "But did you wash it?"

I hesitated, shamefaced. "Not yet."

"Why not?"

"It… smells like you."

A funny look came over Abed's face and he let go of my fingers. I scurried back to my bedroom, feeling very strange about what had just happened. Was Abed mad at me? If it hadn't been so early and if he hadn't surprised me with the question, I might've come up with a better excuse for why I was sleeping in his t-shirt. Instead I'd just mumbled out the truth, and the truth was, there was no getting around it, kind of creepy. Maybe Abed thought it was a little Glenn Close of me to be stealing his clothes, I wasn't sure.

I should give it back, I thought.

After all, I knew that it was one of Abed's favorite shirts, which I'll admit is what had driven me to take the thing in the first place. I pulled it over my head and folded it into four quarters, as if it were to be on display in a department store. I threw on an old tank top in its stead and traipsed back to the bathroom, knocking timidly.

Abed opened the door and I held out the shirt, my mouth ready and open to apologize. But then he pulled me inside. The door closed behind us and he grabbed me in a flurry, pushing me up against the tiled wall. I gasped as his mouth took mine, kissing me with a forcefulness I hadn't imagined he was capable of. The shirt fell to the floor like a flag of surrender and I hastened to wrap my arms around Abed's neck. His hands, which had been at my sides boxing me in, cupped my bottom and boosted me high and within seconds I was pinned flat by his pelvis. There wasn't even an inch between us, and I felt incredibly dizzy as his tongue continued to delve into my mouth, leaving no spot unstroked and stealing all of the little moans that were threatening to let loose. I squirmed and locked my ankles around Abed's waist, struggling to keep steady. My fingers were threading through his hair when his lips slid off mine with a soft smack. We paused to look at each other desperately. Abed was breathing as hard as I was and his expression was as amazed as I felt.

"Sorry," he muttered, and then he set me down as swiftly as he'd scooped me up.

My legs were weak as they found their footing, and I couldn't think of anything to appropriate to say as he grasped both corners of the sink and leaned in, taking a long breath.

"Abed?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you want your shirt?" I asked stupidly, picking it up off the floor.

He raised his eyes and I knew he could see me in the mirror's reflection.

"Keep it," he said simply. And then he left without another word.

I stood there for maybe a minute, completely shell shocked. After the spell wore off shock gave way to vexation and I wanted nothing more than to run after Abed and demand that he finish what he started.

And why don't I?

I made my way to the blanket fort and hovered, my ears perked for any sound of invitation. But all I heard was a soft snore. Was that Troy? My fingers reached for the curtain partition and I stopped myself. What was I thinking? I couldn't just climb into Abed's bed with Troy right beneath us! And what if Abed had, in fact, decided to go back to sleep? He clearly hadn't opted to hang around the bathroom with me.

By the time I was in my room again I had to hurl myself onto the sheets in a fit of frustration. I even kicked a little, trying to assuage myself with a silent tantrum. What was Abed doing to me? He couldn't just tease me like that and then take off! It wasn't even unfair, it was cruel and unusual. I bunched his shirt in my fist and brought it to my face, inhaling deeply. It was no use. I'd slept in it twice and it already smelled more like my body lotion than it did his skin. And nothing would ever be as good as the real thing anyways. The way he'd smelled just now… all warm and clean and full of sleep. The scent was still on me, but it wasn't enough. Nothing would ever be enough, I knew.

We have really got to put a moratorium on the whole waiting thing, I thought. Or at least a moratorium on him kissing me when I don't have my wits about me yet.

It was ironic. Christmas was less than ten days away, and yet I wasn't sure I was going to make it. And maybe it didn't matter so much now, all things considered.

How many days has it been? I wondered, pulling off my pajama pants as I did the math. Well over a month now. And we've said we're serious. Serious and exclusive. It's time. I can't stand it anymore…

I opened my dresser drawer, intent on trying to finish myself off with a little mechanical help when I noticed that my cell phone was alight and flickering. I was about to nudge it aside when I saw that I had a missed call from Jeff. It had come in just after midnight and, what was more intriguing, there was a voicemail to go with it.

Don't listen to it, I told myself.

I knew it was a bad idea. After that text he'd sent me last week, I was well aware that any contact from Jeff via cell phone would only stir confusion and fuss. But I was so curious. What could Jeff possibly be calling me about so late on a weekday night? Was he all right? Did something happen to him? Maybe it was a misdial. Maybe I'd check and it would be five minutes of muffled conversation between him and some stranger. Maybe it was something small having to do with school that he'd neglected to mention the day before.

I'm sure it's nothing.

But what if it was?

I couldn't help myself. I punched "1" and within moments was greeted with a cacophony of pulsing beats and background noise.

Geez, where is he calling from, a rave?

But then all the music and commotion seemed to die down. Jeff must've been moving towards seclusion, and once he'd reached it he began to speak. Loudly and with a lot of slurred syllables.

"Heyyy, Annie. Look, I know it's late but I was kinda hoping to catch you if you were up. I feel like we oughtta talk, you know? We haven't been talking. And it's weird, right? It's weird for me, I dunno if it's so... so weird for you…?"

He waited a second. Maybe to imagine my answer, or maybe just to formulate his next sentence.

"And I just feel like it's hard 'cuz you're… I mean you're there all the time. Not that I want you to go away," he laughed awkwardly. "Nooottt trying to say anything here. But maybe that's what makes it harder, huh? The not saying it? So that's why I think we shoulda talk soon. Just you-n-me, m'kay?"

And then Jeff sighed, as though realizing he wasn't speaking to anybody but himself.

"Anyways, I'ma letcha go. Sorry I bothered you. See you tomorrow."

The call ended and the prerecorded voice announced that I had no other messages.

Ho-ly crap.

My fingers were hovering right over my mouth and I was moments away from biting my nails, a habit I'd quit some years ago. But then I thought better of it and moved fast, yanking my pajamas back on. Jeff had literally caught me with my pants down, and if I was going to think something like this through I needed to be clothed.

I have to tell Abed, I thought. I can't not say anything now! Turns out I wasn't being paranoid at all. Jeff is calling me at odd hours of the night and leaving me drunken messages with rampant BCI. And now he wants to talk to me alone? What is he planning to say? If it's been festering in him for a while then it can't be good... Whatever it is, I don't want to hear it. And I don't want Abed to hear it either. But if I don't tell him now and something else slips out later he may never forgive me. I'll have betrayed his trust.

And that's it, right? I concluded. This is too important to ignore!

But—

Well, what if he gets upset with me for not having mentioned anything beforehand? I mean, things are so good right now. We're so happy together. And if I tell Abed about Jeff after waiting this long it might make it out to be more than it is. Like I wanted this to happen. As if I was secretly hoping Jeff would admit that he has feelings for me. And what if Abed figures out that I'm not entirely sure whether I have feelings for Jeff either? He's so observative when it comes to things like that. And what if he breaks up with me?

The thought was like a blow to the knees. I sat down, a flush of panic making me sweat.

No.

Definitely not.

That could not happen. I would not let such a thing happen. I would simply die if Abed broke up with me! It would ruin everything. Not only our romantic relationship and our living situation but our friendship… and our other friendships, too! A breach this big might domino and take down the entire group. Was it really worth it to be honest in this scenario? Was there even enough worth mentioning? It wasn't as if Jeff leaving me a needy voicemail was anything major in the grand scheme of things. And it didn't have to mean anything necessarily. After all, he hadn't confessed his undying love for me or whatever. He'd just sounded a little worried. And lonely. But loneliness didn't equal attachment.

He's fine, I thought. Chances are he won't even remember the message later today. And even if he does, he may never bring it up again. What's the use over-thinking it? There's no need to spin this into a crisis. I already did that once with Britta over something completely immaterial and I am not about to do it again with Abed.

Decision made, I deleted the voicemail. And when that didn't alleviate my anxiety I got up and left the room. I tiptoed into the blanket fort and was relieved to see that Abed was awake, half propped and scribbling furiously into a notebook with a tiny light clipped to its top.

"Hey," I greeted him, my head peeking between the curtains.

He shifted and put down the book.

"Can I come up?"

"Troy's asleep," he reminded me, his face inscrutable.

"I know," I said, already setting one foot on the side ladder. "But I can be really quiet."

Abed scooted over and I settled in next to him, throwing my arm over his waist and laying my head on his torso. "I haven't been on the top of one of these since summer camp," I whispered.

"Summer camp?"

"Jewish summer camp. My parents used to send me away for a few weeks in the summer. It was near Lake Michigan."

"Did you like it?"

"Not really. There were a lot of cheesy pride activities. We always had to watch the cable-edited version of Schindler's List on Family Day. And it was super hot."

"Oh." Abed seemed a little tense but I snuggled closer to him just the same. "I always wanted to go to space camp."

"You can still go. They have it for adults, too."

"They do?"

"Mmm-hmm, you could go with Troy. Or I could come with you if you wanted," I murmured lazily, my eyelids fluttering. It was so easy to forget about Jeff, to forget about everything really, when I was this close to Abed. Even better now that I was in his bed and surrounded by the smell of him. I felt so serene. I tucked my face into his chest and breathed him in.

"Thought you were getting ready for school," Abed said, his whisper strangely thick.

"I have time, remember? I woke up early." My fingers danced down his stomach, aiming to explore.

Abed flinched and rolled on top of me. "You can't do that."

"Why not?" I asked, my eyes wide as I laid my hand on his cheek. "You made the first move."

"I said I was sorry."

I laughed beneath my breath. "You weren't sorry."

He looked at me, his gaze difficult to discern in the shadows. "This feels weird," he said in a stilted voice, and I assumed he meant Troy.

"We can go to my room," I suggested.

"It's not that…"

"What is it then?" I kissed the corner of his mouth and Abed's eyes closed. "I wasn't trying to start something," I promised, my lips still caressing the side of his face. "I just wanted to cuddle. But if you want more…" I hooked my leg over his, "I think I'm ready now."

"Annie, I don't… I don't know if I am."

"Very funny." I grabbed the back of his head and kissed him deep. He still tasted of toothpaste but there was a hint of aftershave lingering on his upper lip that was so delicious I sucked it right into my mouth. Abed made an agitated sound and pushed me away.

"I mean it," he said.

I reached for his reading light, turning it back on. I was astounded to see that he was serious. I gaped at him, completely bewildered. If Abed didn't want me then why had he kissed me so passionately no more than ten minutes ago? Why was he holding his breath every time I touched him? That wasn't aversion that was emanating from him—it was attraction. It had to be attraction, right?

"Tell me," I hissed fervently. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head. "I don't know."

"Is it me? Did I say something? Do something?"

A horrible thought crossed my mind. Was there any chance Jeff had called Abed and left him a voicemail, too? I knew it was a long shot but Jeff clearly hadn't been in his right mind. Who knows what he might've said to him?

"It's not you," Abed fumbled, looking more confused than conflicted. "Well, it is and it isn't…"

"Abed, don't do that. Don't equivocate. You always tell it like it is. Just be straight with me." I was trying very hard to keep my volume not above a harsh murmur, but my mounting fears were making my vocal chords quake. "Was it the shirt? Because I don't need it, I can give it back."

"It's not the shirt."

"Did something… else happen?"

"No, nothing happened. But it's hard to explain."

I pulled at his arm. "Try me."

"Okay." Abed grimaced and began to speak. "You make me feel," he broke off mid-sentence, his eyes flashing in a way that I'd never seen before, "…too much."

I grew still, my limbs having gone heavy from the expression on his face. "What does that mean?"

He sighed. "It's sort of like I'm in a Christopher Nolan film. It's like I'm feeling something… something really strong, but the weird thing is I don't have to imagine it. I don't have to pretend. And because I don't have to pretend, I don't know what to do… or even what I'm going to do at any given moment."

My heart began beating very fast. "How long have you felt this way?"

"It's been coming on slowly." Abed sat up and reached for his notebook, leafing through it until he found a dog-eared page. He held it out and showed it to me. There were a series of arrows, flicking up and to the right, along with a bunch of numbers lined up neatly beneath them.

"I don't get it," I said.

"It's codified." He pointed to the up arrow. "That represents escalation. The regular one represents continuity. The number marks how many times per day."

"Escalation of what?"

He shrugged. "I don't know yet. But it's getting worse. Especially now."

I examined the page again and saw that indeed it was.

Abed eased onto his back and stretched his arm out over his head, looking to the ceiling as if in askance. I laid on my hip and propped my chin up on my elbow, watching him with a growing hunger beneath my breast.

"Did you feel it the night that we slept together?" I asked delicately.

"No."

I bit my tongue. "Are you sure?"

"I'm not sure of anything. I felt a lot of things that night. But if I did feel it it must've been small and I don't think I recognized it."

"Do you recognize it now?"

"Somewhat, but it's complicated because I have nothing to relate it to yet. I'm still trying to understand it; that's why I'm charting the phenomena. For research purposes."

I was just about to ask another question when bed shook violently. I squealed and latched onto Abed for dear life.

"Night terrors," he said.

But it was too late. Troy must've woken up because he was moaning loudly and it sounded as if he was in a lot of pain.

"God, Troy, are you okay?" I asked, concerned.

"No-o. I stubbed my toe. Wait—Annie?"

I leaned over the bed and peered down at him. "Yeah."

"What are you doing up there?"

"Just… saying good morning."

"Huh." Troy wiped the sleep from his eyes and stared at my face, a little suspicious. "You're not naked, are you?"

"Troy! What the hell is the matter with you? Of course, I'm not naked!"

"Oh. Thought I was still dreaming…"

Ugh.

I scrabbled off the bed and began to climb down its side. "I think I'm actually gonna take a shower, you guys, if that's all right with you. I have class earlier and it's cold."

"Okay," came Troy's lagging grunt. It sounded as though he was already halfway back to sleep.

Abed didn't say anything, but I gave him a parting glance before I slipped out of the fort. He seemed a little addled by my leaving, and I wondered if he wanted to talk some more. I smiled reassuringly and he nodded, flipping his notebook back open. I was really tempted to crawl back up there and read what he was writing, but I didn't need a jumble of arrows and numbers to know that Abed was falling in love with me. If he needed time to draw his own conclusions, that was fine. I would give it to him. And I would try my hardest not to do a happy dance, but nothing was going to take away the glow in my heart.

Absolutely nothing.