The Beginning Of After
Summary: My name is Vanessa Swan, four years old. My Mommy was raped when she was thirteen, and that was how I was made. This is her story.
Chapter 12: Never Think
Disclaimer: No, I'm not Stephenie Meyer.
Bella
After the laughter had died down, Dad asked, "So I assume that's the girl Tanya's been going on about?" My friend only huffed in disgust as she bent to high-five my daughter. "Isn't it obvious enough? No one else can look that dumb." She sighed. "It's hard to believe I used to be friends with her."
On this new information, my head jerked back with surprise. Edward's hand had slipped into mine, and he squeezed it in retaliation towards Tanya's words. I glanced at him shyly before looking at my dad. The Chief only smirked vividly at this tiny display of affections, looking more pleased than I would have thought him to be. Yes, indeed, there were many things I would have to clarify with my father later on in the night.
"Tell us more," I murmured, sitting down and pulling another chair for Edward. He smiled at me before taking his place on my right. Vanessa was smiling enthusiastically at him while she took the seat on my left. It was now the early evening, twilight, and the last sunrays were making themselves known. The light casting above the trees gave a mysterious glow for the reception.
It was stunning, but I was more curious on Tanya's story. "Kids nowadays, always so concerned with their social life." Sue smiled at Dad, who only crossed his arms and stared straight at Edward, eyeing him with speculation, measuring him up.
Edward seemed to not notice it, instead laying on his charm and working his way around a table full of strangers – to him, at least. "Well," Tanya shot back at Sue, "I don't think that's the case for everyone. I mean, look at Bella." She pointed at me.
I cocked my head at her, "Excuse me?"
"See!" Tanya exclaimed, "She doesn't even care about what people think of her. I think that's the best part of her; how she puts people first before herself. I bet, if she becomes a firefighter, she'll be the most in-demand one. Wouldn't you agree, Edward?" She slyly asked him.
He laughed and said, "Yeah, definitely."
I let go of his hand, playfully frowning at him as I leaned away. "Now, that's not nice. The two of you are ganging up on me!" Edward chortled and attempted to grab my hand, but I slapped his away. He rubbed it tenderly, holding it to his chest, "Ow, Bella. You really know how to hit a man."
"Oh my God, that's what Seth said!" Tanya gasped with her light brown eyes deep with recognition. Edward looked from me to her, clearly perplexed by her words. "Why would he say so?"
Groaning, I decided then and there to intercede, in order to preserve whatever little pride I had left. I was lucky Seth was not present – he would have dug in deeper until I was a groveling mess of melted confidence. "Let's just get back to the topic, shall we? You were in the middle of telling us all something, were you not?" I asked my friend, who only chuckled.
"Al-right," Dad drawled, "I think that's our cue for us oldies and young-ins to leave. C'mon, Ness. Let's go get Jake and we'll go to the beach." Dad was careful not to say anything that would allow Edward to presume what our relationship with Vanessa was.
Ness, however, had other ideas. "But I wanna stay with Prince Edward!" At this, I laughed again and let go of Edward's hand to cradle my daughter against my body. She looked up at me pleadingly as she quietly whispered, "Please, Mommy? Can I stay with Prince Edward? Please?"
My heart halted and I turned around to make sure Edward was not hearing any of this. I knew I would have to tell him of my secrets soon, but I was not yet ready to tell him. It was too early to tell him, and if I was indeed being honest, I wanted to prolong our sweet beginning before the lies and excuses arrived. In other words – I was not ready.
But he was not listening, Tanya claiming his attention as she told him of my many annoyances with Seth. I breathed a sigh of relief when he turned to me, his beautiful smile taking my breath away. My baby gave up on me; she chose instead to turn her begging, doleful brown eyes towards him. She overtook him in an instant from what I could see. I held back my snickers as she asked him, "Please, Prince Edward? Can I stay with you? Pretty please with a big, big, big cherry on top and whip cream and chocolate chips? And, and . . . um . . . another big cherry?"
Oh, I can't hold it in anymore!
I started to bounce in my seat with all my laughing at poor Edward's dazzled face, trying to comprehend what she had said through his cloud of befuddlement. I knew it, I simply knew it. No one would be able to resist her!
"Uh, sure, baby-doll," Edward rubbed his right hand knuckles on his chin. "What do you want to do?"
Vanessa's eyes grew impossibly bigger as she hurled herself from her seat onto Edward's lap. Tanya and I shared a brief glance towards each other, both reeling from this sudden action. I did not understand why Ness would do such a thing – she had barely met Edward, and yet she appeared to trust him. Her adoration for him seemed impenetrable as well.
This I simply could not decipher. She was so taken by Edward, almost as much as I was, and I could not help but feel the hope rise slowly from my chest. Edward wrapped his arms around her little body protectively, a complete mirage of how I would have done the exact same thing. It was truly a sight to behold, and my eyes had started to tear.
Why was I crying so much today?
My baby laughed with joy, her brown eyes bright with excitement. "We can go play with Jake!" she nodded vigorously, looking imploringly at Edward, who smiled widely back as he asked, "Who is this Jake, baby-doll?"
"He's my best, best, best, best friend!" Ness thrilled. "He's my best friend ever! And he's funny, smart and really cool! I love my Jakey!" I sat up straighter when she said this last fact. Though I knew she would one day reveal that, the timing of her revelation was too fast. I began to feel nauseated.
Edward caught sight of how I appeared to be, and from his suppressed grin, I could only assume that it must have been humorous. He held Ness closer to his chest and dropped his voice lower to a whisper, "Well, I think I'd like to meet this super-smart friend of yours. Where's Jakey?" His velvet voice dripped like sweet nectar, laced with such gentleness that was not usually found in a man's voice.
And my daughter was entirely enraptured.
So was I, actually.
Ness whipped her head from side to side, looking for little Jacob. I searched as well, though it was held with no success. I caught sight of Alice Cullen staring with confusion at me and Edward, as well as Vanessa, and when she realized I was staring back at her, she bowed her head in embarrassment. Jasper Whitlock sat next to her, his head moving slowly between me and her. Rosalie Hale, on the other hand, merely sighed and smiled widely at me. I raised my hand in greeting towards her, and she did the same thing.
I continued looking for my baby's best friend but I still could not find him. Ness pulled my hand and began to murmur, "Where's Jake? I can't find him, Mommy."
This was the second time Edward paid no heed to what she called me. Tanya had once again claimed his attention. I had to thank my friend more than necessary – I owed her so much. She was proving to become someone really important to me, a completely different person from Jane.
"Ness, honey, come here for a second." Dad cleared his throat, "I think Jacob's gone home with your Uncle Billy."
"But he hasn't said bye-bye yet!"
"Well, maybe he had to go quickly," Dad backtracked, "or maybe he didn't have time. You still want to stay here, sweetie? Grandpa can bring you to their house, if you want. You can say goodbye there." Oh, I knew what my father was trying to do – he was coercing her into leaving my side so that I could spend more time with Edward. I blushed as he did so, but also wondered why he would do such a thing.
Weren't fathers supposed to be fighting off boys from their daughters instead of encouraging relationships?
Yes, my father was, indeed, a questionable man. But I trusted him to know what he was doing. I would find the opportunity to thank Tanya as well for her efforts. Vanessa pouted, considering her options, before she turned to Edward, "Jake's not here. He went home without saying bye-bye."
Vanessa's adorable face crumpled into one of heartache. "It's okay, baby, Grandpa will bring you to visit him later. Why not you go there now, so you can spend more time with Jacob?"
"Can I, Mommy? Can I?" she asked, her eyes wide. When I nodded, she jumped up and peppered my face with kisses. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! I love you, Mommy, more than my own life!" I heard a quiet gasp and turned towards the sound, though I already knew who it belonged to.
My spine tingled with a sharp pain as Edward gazed at me, those green eyes of his burning with such curiosity and wonder, yet he never spoke anything else. They flared remarkably with recognition before he calmed and smiled gently. I was taken aback. Why has he not run yet?
I could not bring myself to look into those eyes of his, but then I realized that I did not have to explain certain circumstances to him, if I was not ready. I could only hope that he would understand. This was as much as I was ready to reveal; that I was a mother to a child of four years, that I was a fraud. The shame that surged through me was irrational. I should not be embarrassed of Vanessa.
But I was certainly ashamed of what and who I was.
"Are you leaving?" Edward asked politely, his large hand reaching for mine. I allowed him to hold it as I marveled over the feeling of his skin. Vanessa sat still on my lap, watching our exchange with her intelligent brown eyes, trying her best to comprehend. "Um, no," I answered, "I think I would like to stay here awhile."
Edward squeezed my hand. "I think I'd like that way too much."
Laughing, I smiled shyly at him before leaning forward to kiss his cheek. I felt the heat of his skin ignite underneath my lips, the sensation so powerful that it made me want to kiss it more. It took my every focus to remember that my baby was sitting on my lap in perfect view of me and Edward.
I bit my lip, and Edward tenderly pulled it away.
"Will you be my friend, Prince Edward?" Ness asked him, her little hands reaching to his arm. He still held my hand as he chuckled adoringly at the little girl; all my fears were irrelevant. He did not appear to judge my daughter as he said, "Sure, baby-doll! I would love to!" Edward seemed enthusiastic as he held his arms out towards my daughter. My heart tightened around the edges as she willingly went to him.
Needless to say, I was astounded. My baby appeared to trust Edward so much it rivaled her own faith in me. She curled her arms around his neck as though she had been doing it for years, as though she knew he would be the optimum person to trust. That he was the person who I trusted the most. It was a mind-boggling thing to see my daughter hug the man I've spent more than three months loving from afar, and it was such a surrealistic approach.
Edward took it all in stride, holding her professionally against his chest. "Jake might be angry because I have a new best friend . . ." Ness confessed, playing with the buttons of his suit jacket. Edward grinned over her head at me as he gently kissed the top of it. I wanted so badly to know what was on his mind, to catch a simple glimpse of it. From the corner of my eye, Dad was equally stunned as I was.
"Don't worry, baby-doll, he won't be angry. I'll make sure he'll share." I grinned; it was the exact thing that I would say. Vanessa leaned back so that she could stare into his eyes. It would only be a matter of time before she would ask for a promise. Edward stared evenly into her brown orbs, entirely entranced, and I could hardly keep myself from laughing aloud at this observation.
"Promise?" she asked timidly, pulling on his buttons still.
He released his arm, "Cross my heart and hope to die, baby-doll." Vanessa's eyes grew wide with so much shock as she shook her head, "No! Don't say die! Nana and Poppa said the same thing, but they died! You can't say die, you can't! You're Mommy's prince!"
The tears threatened to overtake me. I dabbed at my eyes before reaching for Ness. "Come here, baby." She latched onto my body in a vise like grip, her tight hold on me nearly choking on me. Edward's expression was one filled with remorse and regret. I shook my head sadly at him before patting my daughter's head, soothing her trembles of grief.
Moments like this were the very reason why I shielded her away from the horrors of the world. Dad cleared his throat, his eyebrow raised, and I knew what he meant. In spite of my wanting to stay, I needed to bring my baby home – the one place where comfort was at its very best form. I stood up and murmured, "Let's get you home, baby. Mommy will take care of you."
"Wait, Bella, please." Edward begged, standing with me. "Let me say sorry to her. I owe it to her." I bit my lip as Ness peeked from the crook of my neck. She looked at Edward before reaching a hand out towards him hesitantly. He held it in between both of his palms. He cradled it against his cheek, and my heart constricted in my ribs once more.
I looked away – the forces of the need to take care of my daughter and the urge to stay with Edward warred with each other. I took a deep; I needed to be strong for Ness. Her needs were greater than my own. And I would have to remember my priorities, too. Edward may now be present in my life, but Vanessa was still my daughter, and I needed to ensure she was safe.
Every second that passed only made me that much more paranoid.
Edward brushed his hand against my cheek before whispering, "Sorry, baby-doll. I won't say that anymore if you don't want me to. Please don't cry."
I held Vanessa closer to my chest. I got ready to leave once more before she suddenly cried out. I stopped in my tracks and tried to hold on to my struggling child, but it was futile. She squirmed so much that I had to put her down. The minute I did so, she ran up to Edward and held her arms out. He took her in his arms easily, swinging her up.
He looked miserable as she hugged him in earnest. His sadness chewed at the corners of my shattered heart, my arms involuntarily reaching out towards the young man who – in this moment – looked so fragile and vulnerable. "It's okay," Vanessa hugged him tighter, "a lot of people say bad promises. Mommy doesn't, though, and Grandpa; Ms. Clearwater and Uncle Seth and Aunty Tanya too. They make good promises."
Edward's tensed posture had relaxed slowly while she spoke. He smiled gently at the angel he carried, "Really? Can I make one good promise, then?"
"Okay . . .?" Ness was unsure.
"I promise to never let you down again. I promise not to let you or your mommy cry. I . . . I want you girls to always be smiling when you're around me. Therefore," Edward squared his shoulders, "I will try my hardest to be your, uh, prince. Do we have a deal, baby-doll?"
My daughter laughed and nodded her head. "Okay. Pinky swear," she raised her pinky and Edward curled his around hers. I smiled at the sight before he turned to me.
Even somewhat miserable and worried, Edward was glorious. He took my breath away just by looking at me. My heart misbehaved as usual when he stared heavily into my eyes. Edward moved closer to where I stood, Vanessa looking from me to him. "And you," he smiled widely, causing my heart to race doubly, "do you trust me?"
"Do I have a choice?"
"Nope, from here on out, you're stuck with me. Suck it up, Swan," he chuckled, and I laughed along before reaching for Vanessa. She went willingly enough. Edward's arms flopped to his side when she was no longer present in his embrace, and he looked as if he wanted to take her from me once more.
Childishly, I stuck my tongue out at him. "She's mine. You are not allowed to take her from me."
He jerked his head back and guffawed before I heard the rest of my family laughing behind my back. I turned to see Tanya holding her hand to her mouth, and Dad and Sue as they held onto each other. Dad still had his smug smile proudly displayed on his lips. I could only raise my eyebrow at him while his grin widened into one of sheer ecstasy.
My baby, however, had other ideas. "Mommy, you always said to share. So you need to share me with Prince Edward."
I tickled her waist, "Oh? What if Mommy doesn't want to? What if Mommy wants to keep you to herself?"
She screamed and squirmed in my grip, laughing. I put her down and watched as she ran behind her grandfather. Dad held his hand out towards her before gruffly saying, "Go say your goodbye to your Prince Edward, sweetie. You don't want him feeling like how you felt when Jake didn't say farewell to you."
Ness waved eagerly, "Bye-bye Prince Edward! Will you ride with Mommy on a unicorn?"
Oh no . . .
I held onto my waist for dear life as I laughed at her antics. I could hear her sweet giggled ringing clear in the air, but Edward's accompanying chortles were equally exquisite. Never in my life have I heard a symphony so incredibly heart-warming; the sound of my daughter and the man I loved laughing together in abandon.
For me, it was certainly an awe-inspiring experience.
"No, baby-doll," Edward placed his arm around my shoulder, and I blushed, "Mommy's going home with you, remember?"
"Aw, no more riding on horsies?" her lower lip trembled. Edward's arm tightened on my shoulder, "C'mon, baby-doll, don't cry. There will be riding on, uh, horsies, but just not now." With that, I looked at Dad for further confirmation if he wanted me to stay or go. He gave no hint of what he wanted, though. Instead, he calmly walked over to where I stood with Edward and took Vanessa from my arms.
She gave a final wave at Edward before settling in my father's arms.
When I was assured that they were no longer looking, I bit my lip and stood on my toes to kiss Edward's cheek once again. "Thank you for today, but I think it is most advisable for me to go home with Vanessa. But, um, can I first make one request? It is only a simple one, though. I promise it is not too big."
"Anything, Bella," Edward's green eyes were depthless. I could see the sincerity in them. I took a deep breath before whispering, "Can you please, and I do mean please, keep my daughter's identity a secret. You are one of the first to know of her existence, and I would like to keep it that way. I need to protect her, Edward, and I know you have many questions –"
Edward opened his mouth to question me, but I shook my head in an indication that I wanted to continue my speech before I lost the nerve. My protectiveness over Ness was clearly unraveling.
"But," I continued, "in due time, I will tell you why this is so. I cannot risk her being taken away from me; she is my daughter Edward, and it will literally kill me to live without her. She means so much to me. Please, grasp that, for me. Do you think you can do that?"
He frowned with his green eyes blazing with passionate fire. "Bella, if you hadn't already noticed, Vanessa's already got me wrapped around her little sweet finger. I already love her, Bella; I know the feeling. I . . . I recognize it from what was left of my past. And of course I'd want to protect her. Forks may be a small town, but the people surely know how to gossip." He shuddered.
I smiled and fingered his hair. "Thank you for today . . . and for loving my baby girl."
Edward clasped my hand and kissed each fingertip. "Anything, Bella, but I guess you already know that."
I could not help the face-splitting smile that spread across my glowing face, it seemed. Before I realized what I was doing, I was pulling him towards my body, burying my face in his chest and relaxing underneath his electrifying hold. It made me feel giddy – the sensation so incredibly addictive that I was not sure it was real.
But there he stood, his arms wrapped around my body so tightly it made breathing a difficult task. We were far from clearing whatever clouds that loomed in our horizons, but I knew we would eventually clear through it all. I wanted this – him – too much to make sense of it all.
Edward kissed the top of my head before leaning down to capture my lips in his tenderness. He knew I that I did not appreciate any form of rough contact and this made it all the more perfect. I was afraid we would be in a haze of teenage love, that what we were doing was simply too fast and headstrong. And perhaps we were both out of our minds, but I would not have it any other way. This was Edward. This was me.
Our lips moved together in tandem, and oh lord how I wanted to stay locked in this embrace. My head was filled with his scent, his lips; his whispers of my name as our lips would part when we came up for air. The band played another soft song in the background, reminding me that I had Dad and my daughter awaiting my presence.
I blushed when I pulled apart, my posture clearly proving my reluctance to let Edward go. He laughed before kissing my cheek, "Hey, Bella?"
"Yes?" I replied.
"Can I get your number?" I laughed aloud; this was too comical. We were together now yet we did not even have each other's cell-phone number. It was amusing to me because we were going through our relationship with no form of tradition. I told him, of course, and watched as he pulled his phone to commit it down. Edward grinned, looking up, before I smiled shyly back.
Dad's voice startled me as he yelled, "Bells! We have to leave soon! Finish up with your lover-boy and come get Ness. My arms are already aching in protest!" I turned to my father whilst laughing, nodding my head in affirmation. I then turned to the green eyed boy I was so bewitched with and murmured, "I will see you soon?"
"Of course, Sunshine," he touched my blushing cheek when I heard his nick-name for me. "See you later."
"See you later." I chuckled and touched his hand before it dropped to his side. I moved away, my heart slowly melting away with him with every step we took away from each other. It seemed so irrational for me to feel so besotted with Edward, but I found every fiber of my being unwilling to deny it.
Dad gave a quizzical brow at my forlorn expression. He said nothing, handing a very tired Vanessa to my waiting arms. She curled around my body as Tanya and Sue brought us to where Dad had parked his cruiser. I could visibly see Tanya shaking with excitement; she had seen everything, and now, she wanted a little explanation. Sue, on the other hand, seemed more worried for my daughter than she was for me. What a good woman, she was. I truly appreciated her concern for my baby.
Tanya bade us all a good night as we loaded into the car. Dad sent Sue home, and I watched as my father fidgeted a little when she kissed him lightly. I chuckled – we were so alike.
For the rest of the ride home, it was filled with Ness's light snores. I did not realize how tired she must have been from the day's events and I felt horrible for neglecting her for most of the evening. I should have introduced her earlier to Edward. Perhaps then, she would have to feel this much of weariness.
I slipped into the oversized shirt that I treated as a nightgown and tucked my baby into our bed. I had made sure she too was in her princess pajamas before kissing her forehead and watching her sleep. She huddled into the warm sheets, and I was suddenly struck by how fast she was developing.
Look at her, my subconscious gloated, she's so beautiful. She's eating well, growing well . . . is there not a thing more than you could possibly want for her? I smiled before moving downstairs.
The sound of our bubbling kettle interrupted my thoughts as I entered the kitchen. Despite the aches of my body, my mind was not ready for sleep. It was only nine; my body clock was too habitual towards my normal schedule of sleeping in at three in the morning.
Dad sat on one of the stools, and I companioned him. I grabbed a cup, filling it with water, as I sat beside him. He was lost in his thoughts, and truthfully, so was I. There were so many baffling events that had occurred today. My mind's eye wrapped around each and every moment carefully, wrapping it as though it was a special gift. Every memory I had of Edward I had it filed away when I would like to revisit them once more.
There was also the matter of Tanya and how she had avoided and successfully diverted the talk of her past friendship with Lauren. I wondered why she would hide it from us, but I did not mind. It was her previous life, and I would not judge my closest friend because of it. She meant quite a lot to me, and now that she has proven my trust in her, I would do my best to reciprocate it. She really deserved it.
Finally, there was Edward. I could not understand why he had taken to Vanessa so easily. I almost felt cheated. All the worry, the nights I had tossed here and there thinking of his reaction should he know I had a four-year old daughter was put to waste when he held her close to his body this evening. He seemed so naturally . . . fatherly towards her.
And there was the word again. Fatherly.
Why would Edward act like that if he did not have any experience with young children? Perhaps he had once babysat Alice Cullen. But that was highly unlikely – she was the same age as we were. Or maybe he volunteered at the local kindergarten. Whatever his reason, I was curious as to what his past held. He seemed closed off whenever he spoke of it, as though he did not wish to tell a soul.
He said that he held 'baggage' as well. If that was the case, what brand did he have?
My father's gruff voice broke the comfortable silence in the kitchen, "Bells?"
"Yes," I answered, turning towards the stoic man that was Charlie Swan. He pinched the bridge of his nose before closing his eyes. "What happened with Vanessa? How did you . . . how did you, well, conceive her?"
Immediately, my back straightened and I shut off my mind as it threatened to bring back the past memories that I tried so hard to hide. It was truly a tiresome task, but I pushed through it, having done it several times before. "That is a story I do not wish to share."
Dad curled his fists on top of the table, and I cowered against my chair. My heart thumped loudly, clearly acknowledging the suddenness of his hostility. "Bella, please," he said through clenched teeth, "I need to know who did this to you. You're no longer my baby girl, Bells. I look at you, and I see a young woman who's closed off towards the world. What happened, Bella? Did the boy, whoever the heck he was, hurt you?"
He was on officer mode now. He would be interrogating me now. As his last sentence registered in my stilling mind, I froze, my hands on the cup of water I had been holding slipping. The crash of glass was stinging in my ears as I tried to control the entire shaking of my body.
It was no use now. The memories were coming back, and before I knew it, I was leaning across the kitchen sink hurling my guts out of my body. I did not want to close my eyes – in fears that I would see the Monster's despicable face – and focused on the tap instead. Dad rose to his feet to keep my hair out of my face.
The heat of his palms against my cheek was soothing. His body, though, was stiff and rigid with realization. He had figured it out on his own. My father was an inquisitive man. He could read between the lines with no clear help. He put together the pieces, and now he kept his anger in check as he helped his daughter feel better.
Oh, I had not wanted to ruin the beautiful memories I had today by crying. I felt like it would have been a waste. I'd cried when Edward and I talked, and that was more than enough. Edward . . . the mention of his name brought my body to standstill again.
I did not expect how quickly the comfort came at the mention of his name. It was as like my thinking of Ness sometimes when I faced difficulty. My thudding heart, so painful and tightly wound, pounded to a slow beat as the memory of him holding me flooded my messy mind. My limbs instantly grew relaxed.
Dad's grip loosened, and I took the opportunity to shakily wash my mouth. I faced away from Dad, hoping to keep my breathing steady before facing him. My father's face held nothing short of concern for me, as he balled his fists to stabilize his anger. I knew how he felt – protective. I was a parent myself.
The thought of Edward brought a certain amount of courage rising in my chest, and I took it to my advantage. "Yes, he . . . he had hurt me, Daddy," I whispered softly. My father closed his eyes.
I watched as my father's fear, anger, pain and most of all, guilt, unraveled underneath my own eyes. He sank into a chair, rubbing his hands across his face. I walked slowly towards him before launching myself onto to hug him. Dad's arms came around my torso, pulling me down onto his lap. I remembered him holding me like this as a child, and in that instant, it made sense why he would do so.
He wanted to remember his little girl for as long as he could. Because he knew that he would lose her the minute she told him her story.
"Daddy," he held me tighter as I murmured his name, "I'm sorry, Daddy. I'm so sorry."
"Oh, baby girl, it's not your fault. What was his name, Bella?" He glared hatefully at the floor, his fists tight against my shoulder blades. I shook my head and stood up, unable to whisper the name of the Monster, no matter how far we apart we were. I could not bear it.
If I said his name, I knew I would not last ten seconds before I reverted to a bawling mess on the floor. Edward . . . his name repeated itself in my mind, and I hated how it managed to change my mind. He brought along with him such courage and freedom. It was liberating yet frightening at the same time. I did not know what to think of it. But for now, I needed to answer my father. He deserved that much respect.
Dad spat, "His name, Bella."
I flinched before taking a deep breath to calm the bundle of nerves. Over and over in my mind I repeated my daughter's name, Edward's, Tanya's and Seth's; trying my best to overcome the knot in my stomach that was dangling precariously under my throat. I bit my lip and thought of every good memory that had been associated with my staying here in Forks.
"James," I whispered brokenly, "James Hunter."
Dad straightened. "I'll find him, Bella. I'll make sure he'll pay for what he did to you."
My phone rang bright and early on a Monday morning, awaking me and my daughter. I rolled over to where it lay against my bedside table, kissing my daughter's cheek in an effort to keep her asleep. I thumbed the screen, reading the caller ID.
Unknown number, it spelled. I frowned and rubbed my eyes before standing up. Ness stirred, but continued to sleep peacefully like an exhausted angel. I smiled down at her and moved into the hallway so I would not disturb her. "Hello?" I answered my phone, voice still laced with sleep.
"Morning, Bella," Edward's voice sang. My eyes widened as my cell-phone slipped through my fingertips. I could not believe my ears – he had called! Edward had called! I began to rejoice, but instantly recalled that he was waiting for my answer. With regret, I bent down to pick up my phone from its perch on the wooden floor.
"Yes?" I coughed out, clearly acting like a demented woman. I chastised myself, trying to restrain the rejoicing little girl that pulled on her leash. She was annoying but her bubbling happiness was too much to withhold. I giggled when Edward chuckled, "I'm guessing you dropped your phone, huh?"
I pouted and touched the tips of my long hair self-consciously. "How did you know?"
"Sunshine, I know everything. You should Emmett. He'll be more than happy to let you know I'm practically a know-it-all."
"Are you referring to yourself as a, um, geek?" I stammered, amused by the turn in our conversation. "Oh, no, now that's the deal breaker down there. I'm not a geek – just a really handsome know-it-all." He teased me. I blushed before peeking inside the bedroom to ensure Vanessa was still fast asleep.
"Don't I know it," I laughed back, and he was quiet for awhile. I could imagine him smiling away, rubbing the back of his neck as he asked, "So, uh, would you mind if I took you to school today? I know that you used to ride with Seth and Tanya, and now you got that grandfather Chevy –"
"It is not a grandfather. You take it back, Edward Cullen. You take it back now." I warned him, feeling overwhelmingly protective of my truck. It ran wonderful; more than I had once anticipated it to be. Plus, the radio had an amazing reception for a decade old truck. The teasing came so smoothly. I felt as though we had been like this for forever, as odd as it sounded.
Edward guffawed, and my heart warmed. "Okay, okay, Ms. Grumpy Pants. I was just trying to be really subtle about asking you if you'd like to ride with me to school. I could pick you up and we'd discuss the weather and steal shy glances at each other while we try to figure out how to walk into school."
His words were painted our future for today and I smiled widely, feeling the tightening of my heart as it approved of its choice for its lover. Lover – was that what I should call Edward? The notation of boyfriend seemed too superficial and blatant, but I could not think of anything else.
It was truly curious why, only a few days ago, I was an overprotective mother, loving no one but her family. Now, I had several people in my life that I would, indeed, die for. Edward was included, of course. I loved him, even though I would not admit it to him yet.
I was still a hopeless romantic, after all. I wanted to hear him say it from his lips before I whispered it back at him. Besides, I was hoping that chivalry had not yet passed. "Yes," I assented, smiling when I heard him jump with exultation, "I would love to ride to school with you."
"Great!" Edward enthused. "That's great! What time do you want me to pick you up?"
I went downstairs to check the time. There was only one clock, and it was inside the kitchen. I caught sight of Dad and Sue chatting. They grinned at each other as Sue murmured, "It's definitely Edward," towards my dad. He winked at me before eating his granola bar. I giggled and wished them a good morning before checking the time.
The clock told me it was five forty-five in the morning. Our school started around seven thirty. I told him to pick me up at six thirty, the time I usually left for school. "If it is not too much of a trouble for you," I bit my thumb nail as I awaited his answer. "It's fine. Though it's probably the first time I've ever gone to school early."
Laughing, I said farewell to him and shifted upstairs to prepare for the day.
I was running late. Vanessa had gotten tired of eating pancakes. She was picky about her food this morning, and was restless. She was particularly crabby and I was glad I was patient with her. Most teenagers would have gotten angry but I could not do that to my daughter. No, I could never be angry at her.
As she sulked her morning away, I kissed her cheek and told her that I loved her. It hurt that she did not whisper it back but I tried not to let it get to me. Ness had these bouts of moodiness occasionally. I did not what would trigger it, only wishing for it to pass as quickly as they had come. She eyed me bitterly as I grabbed my coat.
Today would be heavily raining. It was the end of spring. Summer was clearly dominating the seasons now. The town of Forks was well known for always being erratic in its weather for summer, and I was worried that my baby would catch a cold. Before I could leave the front door in my state of disarray, I heard Ness call out, "Mommy!"
I turned, unable to refuse any call from my daughter. She ran up to me tearfully, her eyes filled with remorse. I tried not to hold her any tighter, fearing that she would suffocate. "I'm sorry for being bad, Mommy. I'm really angry Jake didn't say bye-bye to me. I'm sorry. Please forgive me, Mommy." Her voice was babyish and so heavily depressed.
Kissing her cheek, I only nodded, "I understand. Only, next time, just tell Mommy, okay? Do not lash out at other people just because you are mad. Do you understand, baby?"
Ness hugged me tighter. "Yes, Mommy, have fun at school!" she dismissed me. I smiled and hugged her closer before releasing her.
I spilled out onto the street before skidding to a stop. Edward leaned against his Volvo in a clear display of patience and wonder. He had on a tight blue sweater and faded jeans. I tried my best not to feel subdued by how good looking he was, and shyly walked over to where he was. He smiled and walked over, taking my hand.
"Morning," he greeted again, "you okay?"
And for the first times in years, I looked up to meet his magical green eyes and nodded resolutely. "Yes."
A/N: Surprised this came earlier than expected? Yeah, I am too. Thanks for all the condolences you guys have sent my way - it's been nice to think that there are people out there who care for me. This chapter is dedicated to all those whose loved one died during the 9/11 attacks. May their souls rest in peace and their names forever remembered.
So, what do you think Charlie will do when he finds James? What can you guys infer about Edward's past, especially seeing that he's been good with Ness and everything. Yes, he knows Bella's a mommy. No, he's not bothered by it. But there's a storm brewing, and it comes by the name of Hurricane Mallory ready to hit Forks at 200MPH. Leave a review, and if it hits more than 18, I'll be updating this as fast as possible.
-Serene.
