Alaxis sat at her new coffee table of six months, sipping, well, coffee, and reading the morning newspaper. Currently she was in the crossword section. A soft aroma filled the house as the smell of newly cooked breakfast and promises in the oven arose. While Lax was no cook, with Squidward's help, she was improving. Said cephalopod began walking downstairs, taking a step up when he saw Alaxis sitting at the table. Even it was six months, he still was not used to her feminine presence yet.

Even so, he silently walked up and hugged her from behind. As she hummed in acknowledgement she looked up at him, their lips connecting. Squidward still wasn't used to this either, but it came more naturally now that they were actually married. All fears of persecution had been shoved deep inside for them to worry about at a much, much later time.

"Morning, Hon!" Alaxis cheerily replied.

"Breakfast?" Squidward deduced. She smiled as he went to take a look at the bacon on the stove. He took in the smell, commenting, "This smells great. But," he turned the knob, "don't forget to turn it off."

Alaxis blushed in embarrassment as Squidward next checked the oven. The scent of biscuits filled his bulbous nose, and he nodded in approval. He turned them off too, and went to sit down at the table. He noticed the discarded sections of the paper on the table, and picked up the front page.

"Seattle crime rate rises," Squidward muttered. He flipped inside to the directed page, scowling when it became apparent that it was just more anti-fish violence. Suddenly, Alaxis put down the crossword and moved to the kitchen to grab the bacon and biscuits. When she got up, Squidward raised a brow. While Alaxis was still relatively slim as when he met her, she seemed to be packing on a few pounds.

When she set the pans of breakfast items on the table, Squidward joked, "Maybe you should let up on the biscuit for a while."

Even though she bit her lip to hide it, Squidward saw her cheeks redden. This confused him, so he followed up by saying, "Hey, I'm just kidding! You'd be cuter with a few extra pounds."

A part of him remembered the Patricia incident. The rest of him promptly beat that part with a brick. But still, Lax looked at him with a smile, saying, "Well, eat up!"

Squidward grabbed a biscuit after a moment, thinking that he had more to tell Spongebob.


The sea sponge was happy for the newlywed. They sat at the appointed meeting place, Spongebob sipping on a large cappuccino, Squidward enjoying a blueberry muffin.

"So life's great huh?" Spongebob asked.

"Totally! She's been a positive part of my life," Squidward said looking down at his yet untouched muffin.

Spongebob smiled and nodded. Inside he remembered back when they first moved to Seattle, Squidward was still more than a little grumpy. He was downright cynical, sarcastic, and a sore soul, among other things. It was true, Squidward hadn't lost his wit, but that didn't mean he wasn't opening up. Spongebob sipped his cap again.

"Spongebob," the squid started, "Lax seemed off this morning."

"Oh?" Spongebob raised an eyebrow.

"She's visibly gaining weight, but when I told her about it, she blushed about it."

"Well," Spongebob went into life expert mode, "most women don't like hearing that they're getting fat."

"She's not getting fat. She's just," Squidward looked for the right word, "chubbier."

"She's not a cake eater is she?" Spongebob asked, smiling as his friend searched for an answer.

"No?" Squidward replied, unsure. "She's been eating a lot of mint ice cream though. For the last three months at least."

Spongebob rubbed his chin. Suddenly, his brain lit a bulb, and his expression widened. Squidward was about to inquire, when the sponge regained composure, changing the subject.

"Sandy and I are having our first kid," he said. Squidward congratulated his absorbent friend, but Spongebob added, "We've also decided to adopt a baby."

"That's a bit much," Squidward replied concernedly.

"Sandy's a scientist. All of her previous projects have considerably boosted our income. How do you think we afford my house on a McDonald's salary?" Spongebob asked, smirking. Squidward considered this for a moment, then nodded. They were financially fit, but that wasn't his only concern.

"How will you find time?" Squidward asked.

"Patrick doesn't work anymore, so we've declared him a future nanny!" Spongebob added, "He took it well."

In the months after Squidward and Lax's marriage, Patrick had decided to quit Krusty Kompany, and some were sad to see him go. Squidward was unshaken by the change though. After the second part, Squidward gave Spongebob a questioning look.

"He rejoiced at the news," Spongebob smiled. Then he said, "About the adoptee, she's a human."

Squidward nodded at that. It figured that Spongebob would do something like that, after all, he was a voice of progress. Of course, that took time in the case of him and Lax, but Squidward digressed.

"You're doing something awesome, Sponge. But, why?"

"I don't know. I just always wanted a daughter. We get to name her and everything. I thought about Olivia," Spongebob had a chronic case of missing the point, though Squidward suspected that it was intentional.

"Besides, I'm showing people that every child can find a good home. In a way, I'm encouraging people towards the third option nobody chooses," Spongebob finished. Squidward wasn't a political man, but he knew what Spongebob was talking about. Seeing as there were people around, Squidward just gave a simple sentence of encouragement. Inside, he was proud of the kid. Spongebob was definitely more responsible now than when they had first became neighbors on Conch drive.

Then it hit him. Spongebob was prone to randomness, but even when he clowned his way away from a subject, there was always a point that related to the main conversation. Squidward was suspicious.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Just sharing a development in my life. Though I must say, it's something we'll be having in common. Developments that is," Spongebob winked.

Magnificent Merman, Squidward was unsure of whether that meant he would be a father too, or whether or not they'd just have more things to share. Then another thought hit Squidward.

"You're a sponge," he started. Spongebob nodded cautiously.

"Then how are you and Sandy having a kid? Are you, Y'know, budding?" Squidward asked.

Spongebob was taken aback by that. He opened his mouth to reply, then closed it, opened it, then closed it again. He screwed his eyebrows at Squidward, not quite sure how that could be possible.

"It's complicated," Spongebob finally replied. Getting up to process his newly fragmented mind, Spongebob said, "I'll see you later Squiddy."

Squidward wasn't sure of whether or not he had just broken his friend. He gave a muffled "See ya" and looked as his pal left. Spongebob's reaction further set his suspicions into place. But, he figured, that wasn't possible. He frowned.

Was it?


Sandy had a lab just outside of Seattle that she let Alaxis visit every so often. In this lab were robots of every kind. Some served like butlers, some were technical assistants, and some served a defense purpose. Alaxis felt like she surrounded by something ripped right out of Star Wars, or something similar. She currently sat in a chair, kicking her legs as she read a magazine. Sandy finished welding the front chassis of Butler Bob and took off her welder's mask.

"You were concerned," Sandy brought back Alaxis reason for visiting to mind. "About what?"

"I found out something recently, and I haven't told him yet."

"Medical condition?" Sandy guessed, discarding her gloves.

"You could say that," Alaxis put down the magazine in thought.

"Is it something serious?"

"In a way, yes, it is. But I want to keep a secret for a little bit longer," Lax replied.

"Then tell him when you're ready," Sandy shrugged. Putting a cleaner pair of gloves, and moving to another broken bot.

"But he suspects something already. And whenever he calls Spongebob to meet him to talk, I know it's something important. Usually about us," Alaxis looks down.

"Spongebob tells me about his conversations with Squidward sometimes. Squidward always thinks highly of you. He asks Spongebob about you to make sure he's doing things right," Sandy encouraged.

Alaxis thought about that for a minute.

"What was he like in Bikini Bottom?"

Sandy looked up in thought for a minute. Squidward was notorious for being ill-tempered, pious, and a donkey fish at times, but that didn't mean that he couldn't be caring. Sure, he'd usually put it off as being in pursuit of his own interests, but there were times when he really cared. Sandy remembered the April Fools' Day incident. It was the day the Squid grew a heart.

"He was a…complicated individual," Sandy started. "But deep down, he's a good guy. He's really taken a liking to Seattle."

"He tells me it's cultural," Alaxis mentioned. "I never noticed."

"That's probably one reason he took so kindly to the change of pace, scenery, and well, air."

Sandy reattached the arm of a security robot, drilling it into place with new bolts. The silver and mint blue robot activated, instinctively flexing its appendage. The robot got off of the table and walked to its post outside. Alaxis watched the whole scene in awe. Meanwhile, Sandy began repair of yet another robot.

"Can I ask a really weird question?"

Sandy looked at her human friend. "Sure."

Alaxis rubbed her arms for a minute before beginning, "Are you and Spongebob ever going to have a family?"

Sandy smiled. "We're having our first child soon, actually. It's a girl, too. Spongebob doesn't know, but I think he'll be happy. We've also decided to adopt a child."

Lax widened her eyes. "At once?"

Sandy shrugged. "We were both feeling ambitious. You and Squidward were an inspiration."

Alaxis raised a eyebrow, and Sandy supplied, "She looks like you," and winked.

Sandy finished up with the robot she was currently fixing, before asking, "Do you want to share this news with news with me?"

Alaxis looked up at Sandy, and decided it was for the best.

"Well,"


"I mean we can't honestly be having a kid! I mean, I'd know about it, Y'know?"

That Monday, Squidward rambled to his coworker Carl, who by no means was interested.

The raven haired man with round glasses sighed, typing away new slogans for Fish for Thought, an organization that recognized that there was actual sea life in the ocean, separate from the walking, talking, air-breathing fish that were on the streets. For some people, it made a lot of sense, and even helped clear up reservations about Seattle's new residents.

Squidward thanked that organization because it got him and Lax into more restaurants than he could count. Occasional free meals didn't hurt either. But still, even though Carl's work was important, he needed an ear, and he knew that Spongebob would only riddle him. However his shorter, unmarried, coworker was thoroughly being annoyed.

"Just confront her about whatever weird crap you think she's hiding," Carl snapped. "I'd like to get to work now. Some of us don't want to get fired."

As Carl turned his back, Squidward stuck out a tongue. It was beneath him, of course, but so was love not too long ago. Of course, he figured that he could stay above such childish displays of annoyance. However rudely Carl's reply was spoken, though, he did present a good point. Sometimes the best approach was a direct one.


Squidward had everything set in drama. The lights were dimmed, the coffee table was dressed in a white tablecloth which covered it completely. Alaxis sat on one side of the table, which held a large vase, and two glasses of champagne. Lax knew something was up, but she figured that she probably should've set this up.

Squidward set down a plate of filet mignon in front of her, and then he sat down. He cut into his cut of beef, while Lax eyed the champagne glass.

"Um Hon," she said, "I think I'll just have some water."

Squidward looked at her flatly.

"Water. With filet mignon." the squid replied in an unbelieving tone. He had conversed with Spongebob earlier on how to arrange the dinner, and Spongebob specifically mentioned cooking a meal paired with alcohol. It suddenly hit Squidward. This was part of the plan.

"I just don't feel like champagne tonight," she smiled sheepishly. Squidward calmly took her glass and said, "I understand, dear."

Alaxis stared at her husband as he carefully poured the luxurious liquor down the kitchen drain. Squidward then looked back at her.

"Are you sure you don't want some ginger ale, instead?"

"That sounds agreeable, actually," Lax smiled, and Squidward got out a new glass and the aforementioned soda.

Pouring it into a glass, Squidward thought, Get a grip Squidy! You've got this. Remember, whatever the case is tonight, you will still love her. Squidward steeled and finished pouring the drink. Putting it back into the fridge, he walked back to the table, handed Alaxis the glass, then sat down.

"Hon, I know that you're hiding something." Direct approach, remember?

Alaxis looked down at her steak and sighed.

"I was going to wait before saying anything but," she drew in a breath, and Squidward felt his complexion go lighter.

"I'm pregnant."

Mood Killing Author's Note: I've actually had the idea of Squidward and Lax having kids since before this Fanfic was even conceived. This is an old idea… Same for Spongebob and Sandy. Then I thought to myself, how exactly would they have kids? Then I remembered, Imagination. Also, about the "third option" comment. I see Spongebob as a Pro-Life Liberal, because, well, it makes sense, and so I thought Spongebob would be the kind to readily adopt a child. Sandy's profession should have been seen coming from a mile away, so I hope it made sense. And this is a too long A/N so I'll end it here. 'Till next time!