Chapter 12: Only Here
(Still having power outages and lots of rain. Crossing my fingers that this post works. I am glad for the rain, so I won't gripe about it. If nothing else, it does inspire a lot of love scenes! Anyway, my deepest gratitude to readers and reviewers through site issues and stormy weather, the chapters will roll on! Love you all, Spunky)
Hey Ichigo, Kisuke thought, taking his new husband's hand and leading him slowly away from the revelers still celebrating in the prettily lit and sweetly scented Kuchiki Manor gardens, do you have any idea how much you've changed my life?
They stepped up, onto the walkway, exchanging warm kisses and locking eyes that reflected only happiness, only a deeply shared appreciation of the profound moment that had come.
It's strange. I never felt the loneliness while it was happening.
Kisuke gazed into Ichigo's dark, aroused eyes, cupping his hands around the younger man's face and kissing him more tenderly. As they stumbled inside, Ichigo nudged the door shut behind them, making the sound of the celebratory music and mingled voices soften. Kisuke's mind drifted backward in time, focusing briefly on intermittent moments.
While I was growing up, I learned to look at other things. When I was a kid, it didn't matter to me that I only had one friend and everyone else really didn't like me that much. I focused on my interest in science and the one friend I had, and I never felt the distance from everyone else.
Ichigo stopped as the backs of his legs touched the bed. Their eager hands untied their clothing and peeled away the layers.
I guess that's why it didn't hurt me very much when Aizen set me up to take the blame for his hollowfication experiments. I didn't feel connected to any of that. A life as a captain in Soul Society. A life as a shopkeeper in the living world. It all seemed pretty much the same, and I had no idea why.
Kisuke's arm curled around Ichigo's slim waist, and he began to lower his husband onto the bed.
Until you came along.
Ichigo's hazy eyes blinked slowly, and Kisuke paused to look at his reflection in the dark centers.
When your dad and Ryuuken brought Masaki to me and I saw how Aizen's treachery was moving on to continue to destroy other people, I knew I had to do something. I didn't know that the actions I would take that day would result in the one thing that would shatter all of my illusions about me and my life. But when you were born, my life shifted and began to turn upside down.
Warm, insistent lips fastened on Ichigo's and Kisuke's seeking mouth began to heartily devour.
I knew you were different, but I didn't know why at first. It was awhile before I realized that the hollow that infected Masaki was moving to be born with you and that your life would be connected so strongly to mine…the way it is now.
Kisuke's tongue sank deep into Ichigo's happily reciprocating orifice, touching, caressing and eagerly exploring.
I watched you grow up and change. I saw the emergence of your ability to see ghosts. And when Rukia came and shared her powers with you, I felt the awakening of all of the other forces inside you.
The same hands that had shaped the hougyoku slid over the expanses of warm, living flesh that defined the hougyoku's greatest accomplishment.
In a way, you and I were born together, that night that Byakuya cut you down and left you bleeding to death on the ground.
Ichigo's fingernails slid down his back, igniting tantalizing shivers and a powerful throbbing in his loins.
As spooked as I was by the hougyoku, and as much as I had wanted to destroy it, I looked at you and, even when you were laying there dying, you inspired me.
Kisuke's swollen mouth broke away for a moment and brushed against his lover's soft cheek.
You were terrifying because of your potential, and I wasn't sure whether it would be the right thing to help you or to destroy you.
"I love you, Ichigo. If I have to die, I want to die right here in your arms."
"Nobody's dying, Kisuke. Make love to me."
"I was just getting to that."
I gave you a choice. I let the mingled powers in your soul decide whether you would be a protector or become a destroyer. I was ready to finish what Byakuya had started if you turned into the monster I had been worried that you might.
You surprised me with how hard you fought…to stay alive, to fight, to protect. You wanted to save Rukia and you weren't letting anything or anyone stop you. I felt the overwhelming power of that desire in you and I had no choice but to help you.
I had no choice but to begin that long, slow fall.
A sudden bite on his throat sent fresh shivers through his body and made his hips move, grinding against Ichigo's responsive form.
When you needed, I had to provide. When you were challenged, I had to help you answer. And when you were hurt, I had to make sure that you were healed. I didn't see the chains we were using to bind ourselves together until we were wound so tight that we could never break apart.
Sweat broke out on his forehead as he fought the intense urge to abandon gentleness and plunge into his lover's unprepared body. Three fingers offered to the younger man were swiftly sucked into Ichigo's feisty, nipping mouth and bathed in saliva.
Byakuya.
Jin Kariya
Aizen
Ginjo
Ywach
None of them ever had a chance of really stopping you, because when you were weaker than them, you survived…you made yourself stronger…you overcame them.
He fastened his mouth on Ichigo's again, thrusting his tongue inside and gently dominating, while his hand slid down to begin a slow, thorough preparation. Ichigo's hips rose up in protest, defiant and demanding as the younger man panted out the shopkeeper's name impatiently.
"Kisuke!"
"Easy," he chuckled, watching raptly as Ichigo's strong, rebellious hips bucked upward again, "I don't wanna hurt you."
He wasn't sure if it was a reflection of the candles in the room or if Ichigo's inner hollow was peeking into his eyes in warning.
"You're not gonna hurt me," Ichigo chided him, just the hint of the hollow's echo in his voice, "Don't make me have to wait anymore!"
I just don't want it to be over too fast. I want this time with you, this moment, each heartbeat, to last forever.
Is that so much to ask?
He began an unhurried entry, penetrating in carefully controlled movements. Ichigo's body writhed fitfully against his and Kisuke's ears rang with his hungry moans and gasps of pleasure.
"Kisuke!"
He held still a moment longer, enjoying the deep, feral sound of his lover's enticements.
No one's ever made me feel this much…desire this much…love this much.
Just you, Ichigo.
He moved his hips and smiled at the groan of relief it precipitated.
I love you.
He tried to move slowly, tried to hold back carefully, but suddenly, his heart was pounding too hard and too fast and he couldn't stop himself.. His mouth snapped hard at Ichigo's and he wasn't sure if there wasn't a hollow peeking out of his eyes also.
Oh god, I'm so in love with you now.
His lips broke away from Ichigo's and bit down and sucked hard on his white throat, feeling the vibration as his lover's moans deepened and became almost desperate.
I'm in love with our kid that I haven't even seen yet.
His heart skipped suddenly and he felt his entire body tense for a blindingly beautiful moment. His eyes opened wide and looked deeply into Ichigo's, confessing, loosing and surrendering everything as he gave himself over to violent throbs of release.
Loveblind and unable to move or speak, he barely felt himself being toppled and hastily prepared. He barely managed a coherent thought, then it was Ichigo's strong, muscular body invading his, while he laid on his belly, gripping the bedding, his body still in the throes of climax.
No one's ever…
"I love you," Ichigo panted, biting down on Kisuke's flushed earlobe and making him quiver and gasp in reaction.
Ever been inside…
Ichigo's hard, fast thrusts kept his mind in a vicious spin.
I never let anyone that close.
Never dared.
But then…you've always been reckless, impatient…impetuous.
Come in, then, if that's what you want.
Come all of the way in.
I'll take all of you.
And give back all of me.
Ichigo's slender body stiffened suddenly and he made a low, growling sound of surrender.
Just…
Kisuke gasped as wicked heat flooded his insides, shocking his shaking body into a fresh bout of uncontrolled spasms.
…don't…
His eyes closed and burned with happy tears.
…ever…
Ichigo collapsed heavily onto his back and his harsh, fast breaths tickled the back of the shopkeeper's bare shoulder.
Don't ever leave me.
"S-sorry," Ichigo managed, separating their bodies and curling into Kisuke's waiting arms, "I couldn't help it. It didn't hurt too bad, did it?"
"No," Kisuke assured him, "It's fine. And you don't have to apologize. It's our wedding night, strawberry. It wouldn't be right if we weren't willing to give it all."
"Right," Ichigo laughed, nuzzling into his shoulder and kissing his throat, then his cheek.
We're okay now.
For right now, we're all right.
And I'll do everything I can to keep it that way.
Kisuke's hand slid down and caressed Ichigo's rounded belly as the two kissed lingeringly.
"It's gotten bigger pretty fast," Ichigo whispered, his hand following the path that Kisuke's had taken, "I know you said that it would take less time than a female pregnancy, but…is it supposed to be happening this fast?"
"Not really," Kisuke admitted, "But the whole breeder male situation is poorly understood. There are a million possible reasons why you're developing faster. What's more important is to carefully monitor your body and the baby's reiatsu. There's a delicate balance to be kept. I'll need to stay close to you now. I think you may be faster in delivering than Byakuya was…by a couple of months, perhaps."
"A couple of months?" Ichigo repeated, giving him an alarmed look, "But that means that I could have the kid in a few weeks!"
"That's right," Kisuke said, nuzzling his cheek.
"Damn! I don't think I'm ready for that. I mean, I know I'm having a kid and all, but all along, it's been kind of unreal. It was something I was aware of, but I wasn't thinking that much about how it would change things."
"Hey," Kisuke said bracingly, "it is going to change some things. That's how it works. But the thing is, there isn't anything in that whole range of possibilities that you and I can't handle. You want to still go to college, you're going. You want to put it off and focus on us for a while, that's what you'll do."
"I'm still just trying to believe that a little baby is about to be born and it's coming out of me. I know it in my head, but…I don't know. It just seems impossible."
"It's okay for you to be scared," Kisuke assured him, wrapping his arms tightly around his younger mate, "When you are, just remember. As hard as it gets, it's not going to be harder than fighting a transcendent, so you're gonna be okay."
Ichigo bit his lip gently and looked away.
"Yeah," he said in a non-committal tone.
"What? You don't believe me?"
"I do," Ichigo assured him, "I was just thinking about the hollow that's been attacking me."
"Well, don't worry about that," Kisuke said, capturing his hands and kissing his warm fingertips, "Byakuya's come up with a good plan for our next move. Trust me, we're going to put an end to that hollow and you and the baby will both be fine."
Ichigo took a steadying breath and nodded.
"I trust you. The whole thing just gives me a really bad feeling inside."
"Yeah," Kisuke confessed, "me too. But, tonight isn't about that hollow. Tonight is about you and me tying the knot and starting the rest of our lives together…starting with our honeymoon. We need to get those plans made."
"But, how're we supposed to do that when…?"
"Shh, stop it, okay? Let the rest of us worry about that. You just focus on eating right and taking care of yourself. Right now, you are fine and the baby is coming along well. Let's just concentrate on keeping it that way."
"I will," Ichigo promised, burrowing more tightly into his shoulder, "It's just creepy. I probably should have told you before, but I was afraid."
"Afraid of what?" Kisuke said, sitting up and bringing Ichigo up with him, "What happened?"
"W-well, the thing is, I don't know if it's real or not," Ichigo said, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment, "I just…sometimes feel like I'm hearing her voice in my head…like that hollow is here, inside me instead of out there. I guess that doesn't make sense."
Kisuke gave him a troubled look.
"Actually, it makes a lot of sense," he sighed, "I mean, we know that this hollow has some sort of connection with you that she is using when she drains you. This has to be somewhere in your body, but we haven't been able to see it, not even when she's using it to feed. But I think Byakuya's right in shifting the focus to where she goes when she is finished feeding. It seems that she's following a similar path each time she goes back to Hueco Mundo. And she always hightails it back there right after feeding. It may be that she is just doing that to elude us, or it may be that after feeding, she is vulnerable for some reason. Whatever it is, we'll figure it out. Just…let's not think about that tonight. She fed recently, and we're surrounded by friends and family. You're safe and we can just take a breather and enjoy being together."
"You're right," Ichigo said in a calmer tone, "Sorry, I didn't mean to ruin the mood."
"What're you talking about?" Kisuke said, smirking and pressing closer to him, "You didn't ruin anything. We're still here. We're still okay. Let's just relax and enjoy that."
"Yeah," Ichigo agreed, settling into his husband's arms and sinking into a long, penetrating kiss, "Whatever happens next…right now, we're okay."
"Uh-huh. And everyone who loves you…we're gonna keep it that way."
