"What a beautiful mess this is
It's like taking a guess when the only answer is yes
And through timeless words in priceless pictures
We'll fly like birds not of this earth
And tides they turn and hearts disfigure
But that's no concern when we're wounded together
And we tore our dresses and stained our shirts
But it's nice today...
Oh The Wait Was So Worth It" - Jason Mraz
Clarke walked into her house on Wednesday night absolutely exhausted. It was off season and they had optional practices that had to held later in the day. She wanted to keep in top form because she wasn't recruited to the school of her choice and should she be accepted to UCLA, Clarke would try to get a walk on spot on the track team. She needed to run well in her senior season to be considered so there was no time to slouch.
Clarke noticed her dad in the kitchen awkwardly hovering over the counter.
"Hey" she said to alert him of her presence. The graying man popped up and whipped around in shock.
"Oh, hey sweetie." He sighed. "Thought you were mom for a second."
Clarke looked closely and noticed red sauce on his face. She peered around his body to see a half eaten meatball sub.
"Dad! I thought you were going to lay off the meatballs, and the cheese, and the bread, and the butter, and-"
"I know, I know. I'm supposed to be getting healthier: I'm at that age."
"And you've got heartburn and you aren't 30 years old with a fast metabolism anymore."
"Alright honey I get it. I promise from now on I'll be better." He said, raising his hands in mock surrender.
"It's 6:30. We're having dinner in like half an hour. You honestly couldn't wait?"
"I was hungry!" Jake exclaimed. "I'm still going to eat the um...what is it tonight?"
"I think it's chicken and red potatoes."
"They make red potatoes? what's wrong with regular ones?"
"The red ones are better for you. And I'm serious, dad. No more meatball subs, or cheeseburgers, or pastrami, or any other greasy meat sandwich covered in cheese."
"Yes, ma'am." He joked. "Is Lexa still planning on coming to dinner next weekend?"
"I think so. She hasn't told me otherwise."
"Good, I'd really love it if she could be there."
"You really like her, don't you, dad?"
"I really do. I've grown a little attached. She's such a great kid and she deserves a hell of a lot more that what she's given."
"Couldn't agree more."
"You two aren't hanging out tonight? I thought you died if you didn't spend every waking moment together."
Clarke deadpanned and scoffed, though part of her really was dying a little. "She's with Jenna tonight. We're spending tomorrow together: and Friday, and Saturday after I finish practice, and Sunday when she gets home from church."
Jake laughed and patted his daughter on the shoulder. "Oh to be young and in love." He acted as if he were looking off into the distance. "Luckily that feeling has never faded for me."
"What feeling?" Abby had entered, groceries in hand. Jake moved swiftly to his wife and swept her small frame into his arms.
"The feeling I had when I was 22 and realized I found the love of my life."
Abby laughed and slung her arms around Jake's shoulders. "Yeah, it took you long enough. I thought you'd never catch up."
Realizing she was long forgotten, Clarke smiled at her parents and moved past them to her room. She was starting to feel emotional so she grabbed her phone and texted her girlfriend.
Clarke: I miss you :(
Lexa: I miss you, too.
Lexa: I'll see you in the morning though. 13 more hours.
Clarke: That's 13 hours too long. My parents are in the kitchen being all gross and in love and it makes me want to be all gross and in love with you.
Lexa: Lol. Clarke, we are very gross and very much in love.
Clarke: I meant like in person! I want you to hold me and tell me how beautiful I am and play with my hair :(
Lexa: You're out of candy aren't you?
Clarke: ...maybe
Clarke: But I still want all of those things.
Lexa: Ok. I'll pick you up before school tomorrow and bring supplies with me.
Clarke: Supplies?
Lexa: Yep.
Lexa: Reese's, Snickers, Hershey Kisses, Lexa Kisses, Toblerone, KitKat...did I forget anything?
Clarke: How have I survived without you for so long?
Lexa: No idea.
Lexa: Clarke, we're about to have dinner so I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow morning, okay?
Clarke: Alright. Goodnight, babe. Have fun.
Lexa: I will. Goodnight, my love.
Clarke: Looking forward to those 'Lexa Kisses' btw
Lexa: Haha! Thought you didn't catch that.
Clarke: oh I'd never dream of missing an offer like that ;)
Lexa: Glad to hear it. Ok really. I have to go now. Love you.
Clarke: Love you
Lexa didn't text back, which made Clarke a little sad but she still had the goofiest smile on her face. She never dreamed she would meet someone as amazing as Lexa. Sure she seemed super tough and was even intimidating but everything about her was too good to be true. Lexa didn't have many friends (3 to be exact), but when she loved she loved hard and with her whole heart. Anyone who was accepted into her life was luckier than they could possibly know.
She was so amazing, in fact, that Clarke had a hard time thinking of an instance where she's really done something for her girlfriend. Lexa was always the one taking the next step in their relationship, she goes out of her way to form relationships with Clarke's friends and family (despite her semi antisocial nature), and anything Clarke needs Lexa does without question and most of the time without even needing to be asked.
Clarke needed to do something nice for her girlfriend. "But what?" she thought out loud.
They were sitting on Lexa's bed with their backs against the headboard. Clarke was doodling (as usual) and Lexa had her nose in a thick textbook. It was Friday evening, and what started out as studying quickly turned into a heated makeout session. Lexa had been biting the corner of her bottom lip with her brows furrowed in that irresistibly sexy way that just drove Clarke absolutely insane. So the blonde pushed their school materials aside and fused her lips to her girlfriend's, swallowing the surprised yelp that came with it.
Never one to refuse Clarke anything, the brunette craned her neck forward and kissed back. Soon enough, Lexa tugged on Clarke's hips coaxing her onto her lap so they would be in a more comfortable position. The feeling of Clarke's torso pressed into her own made Lexa's temperature spike and that incessant arousal (that made itself known when she started dating Clarke) flared up and she got that aggressive feeling again. The brunette slid one hand up to cup behind Clarke's head while the other one stayed in it's place on her lower back. Lexa detached their lips and pressed soft kisses down her girlfriend's perfect jawline until she reached the side of her neck, where she lightly bit down.
Clarke moaned loudly and involuntarily rolled her body into the toned one beneath her.
"Mmm, Lex. You know how I get when you do that." she breathed out. But Lexa didn't stop. She started alternating between sucking and nibbling, and Clarke was sure that in another 10 seconds she would be soaked through her jeans. "Seriously, babe." she gasped out. "I won't be able to control myself much longer."
Lexa pulled away just enough to speak: her lips brushing the raw skin with every word she spoke. "Maybe I don't want you to control yourself." she said and switched to the other side, satisfied the marks she'd left.
"Wait what?" Clarke said and forced herself to move back enough to look into Lexa's eyes. "Does this mean that you're...ready?"
"I think so."
"I don't want you to think, baby. I need you to be completely sure. This is a big thing."
So they'd been dating for 4 months now and all of it was great, save for a few little fights. Clarke was kind, giving, outgoing, smart, funny, dramatic, artistic, loud, goofy, and had probably the cutest personality Lexa had ever had the pleasure of knowing. The fact that she's as beautiful as she is, is just an added bonus. The best kind of bonus. Waiting this long to have sex was all on Lexa: it wasn't that she didn't want to because she really did. But it was the way she was raised. Since getting 'the talk' at age 12, when she first got her period she was told that waiting until marriage was the only proper way to make love.
While she did essentially denounce organized religion, a part of her really liked the idea of only giving her body to the person she was bound to forever. Clarke was aware of these feelings and without missing a beat she had said "If that's what you want I'll gladly wait until we're married." And that sent Lexa flying because Clarke free-spirited athletic artistic beautiful Griffin, was actually considering spending the rest of her life with Lexa. Clarke really did seem like forever though. Even when they had little disagreements or had relatively big fights, Lexa never once thought of not being with Clarke. She would be mad, yes. But at the end of the day even if nothing was resolved, they would kiss each other goodbye, and call before they went to sleep to wish each other a good sleep. It's so hard to explain: being monumentally angry at someone but still fiercely yearning and being strongly devoted. That's what love is, Lexa thought. True love. The brunette smiled and nodded her head.
"I want to give myself to you. I'm 100% sure."
"Really?!" Clarke squealed and crushed her lips back against Lexa's, and the older girl eagerly responded. She moved her hands under Clarke's top and lightly raked her short nails against the pale back.
"Mmm." The blonde moaned as she pulled away. "But we can't right now."
And Lexa nodded in understanding. "Yeah, my parents are home."
"Oh." the blonde giggled. "I completely forgot about that. I guess that's reason number 2 then. Reason number 1...I'm still surfing the crimson wave and it's at it's peak."
The brunette scrunched up her nose and grimaced. "Crimson wave? Seriously?"
"Well that's what it is!"
"I guess it applies when you think about it."
"I'm surprised we haven't ridden the wave together yet."
"My tide rises the week before yours. Is that a good surfing analogy?"
"Not a surfer but it sounded good. And you know what else? You don't get weird at all when you're riding the wave: if I didn't ask I never would have known. How do you put up with me?"
"I don't know..." Lexa started. "I kind of like it I guess. I like taking care of you. I also think your heightened emotional state is adorable. I mean you're already pretty out there but when it's amplified, it's pure gold."
"Hey!" Clarke lightly smacked Lexa on the shoulder. She was still straddling her lap. "What do you mean I'm 'out there'?"
"There's that violence thing again."
The blonde just pouted and crossed her arms. This just caused Lexa to laugh.
"See! Unnecessary pouting: absolutely adorable."
Clarke smiled and moved her arms around her girlfriend's shoulders, resting their foreheads together.
"You're such a charmer." she said. "An ass most of the time, but a charmer."
Silence fell over two and it was just the slightest bit awkward because there was something new in the air. They had agreed to make love and it was exciting, but still nerve wracking, especially for Lexa. It would be her first time and she doesn't have a clue what to do. Thinking about it she didn't know if it would be Clarke's first time. They never really talked about sex, aside from the decision to wait until they were both completely ready.
"So, um. When are we going to...?" Lexa asked shyly.
"I don't know. I don't think we should plan it; we should just let it happen when it happens. We'll know when the time is right."
The brunette nodded and readjusted her legs underneath Clarke, she was still sitting on them.
"Are you ok with that? I know you like organization and structure, so we could set aside a time if you want?"
"No, no. I think spontaneity in this instance will be good." Lexa agreed.
"Ok. So the next time you're torturing me with your amazing mouth and I feel like I won't be able to stop myself from ravishing you, I don't have to worry."
Lexa felt a spark of warmth in her lower abdomen at the statement and bit her bottom lip to hold in the small moan that was sure to escape just at the thought of Clarke "ravishing" her. "I'm going to kiss you now." she had said, and tangled her fingers in blonde hair before fusing their lips together again.
"Wait, so why are you freaking out?"
"Because, Raven, I don't know anything about sex! I mean I know the female anatomy, but I don't know how to go about pleasuring it."
They were in a restaurant having breakfast so she tried to keep her voice down as best she could. On Saturday mornings, Lexa had practice at 6 and Clarke at 8:30, so she would meet up with Raven afterwards to kill time before they could spend the rest of the day with their respective significant others.
"I know a few of Clarke's sexual weaknesses, if that helps."
"I'm sorry. How exactly do you know this?"
"Not from experience. We're friends and she sometimes likes to over share."
"Oh...Ok, well tell me."
"Her neck is probably her biggest weak spot." Lexa definitely already knew that one. "She hates tongues in or on her ear." The brunette nodded, taking it all in. "She definitely prefers mouths over fingers."
"So...I'm supposed to...?"
"Lick the kitty. Yeah." Raven smirked.
"Oh god. How do you even, I don't..."
"You don't want to?"
"No, I do. I want to please her in anyway possible. I'm just so nervous: I don't want to disappoint her."
"I know your first time is terrifying, but you don't have to go into the bedroom with an arsenal of secret moves and skills. You and Clarke love each other, so that makes it special all on its own. If you're really this scared just talk about it before hand. Establish some ground rules: make sure you're both comfortable with whatever you plan to do."
"That sounds awkward."
"It really isn't. Trust me. Talking about it beforehand makes it much more enjoyable than fumbling around without any kind of clue what your partner is and isn't ok with."
"Okay. I'll talk to her about it later."
"You guys are going to that fancy dinner right?"
"Yeah, Jake's birthday is tomorrow but their work schedule is so busy they're celebrating next weekend. Abby invited me."
"So you're like totally in with the parents. Great work." Raven praised
"I didn't have to do any kind of work, actually. Jake and Abby have been great since day one. Though I'm kind of rethinking that since I have to wear a dress and heels."
Raven scrunched her nose and started laughing. Lexa in anything other than running shoes or Nike flip flops was a disaster.
"How are you going to do your hair?"
"I don't know...ponyta-"
"Don't you dare finish that sentence!"
"What? What's wrong with how I do my hair?"
"Hopeless, absolutely hopeless." She groaned and dropped her face in her hands.
"I am not!"
"You're coming to my house to get ready. I don't trust you."
"I'm perfectly capable of ge-"
"We're taking the whole day for beauty prep. Facials, mani/pedi, i'm doing your eyebrows, and I'm going to dress you."
"That's not neces-"
"Shut up. No arguing. When's the last time you shaved your legs?"
"I don't know..."
"You don't know?! That's gross."
"It's too time consuming and Clarke doesn't seem to care."
"You're going to a fancy dinner. You will shave: I'm putting you in a sexy dress, and some sexy shoes, I'm doing your eyebrows, and you're wearing your hair down."
"But my hair is crazy."
"Not even. You have hair people would kill for. It's dramatically wavy and naturally voluminous. Hair will be down. No arguments."
"Ugh. You're worse than Anya."
"That's a compliment. How is she anyway?"
"Busy: she's only been there a month and she's already running the place. We Skype once a week but we barely get to talk anymore. I miss her."
"I'm sorry."
"No it's alright. She's really happy over there, making a life for herself. I don't think she'll ever come back. But I have you here to keep me company so I'll survive."
"Awww." Raven moved to the other side of the booth and threw her arms around Lexa's shoulders and squeezed her tight. "I knew you loved me."
Lexa groaned and tried to wriggle out of the tight grasp. "Come on, Reyes. Don't ruin the moment."
Throughout the next week Raven was utterly ridiculous: giving unsolicited sex advice and rambling on and on about what Lexa was going to wear. She had dragged her friend to the mall on Friday and spent hours making Lexa try on dress after dress and shoe after shoe, and then going to Sephora and finding the perfect makeup to match the dress and the perfect color nail polish to compliment it as well. It took them over 4 hours to get everything they needed and Lexa wanted to die by the end of it.
Clarke: When are you getting here?
Lexa: I'm still at Raven's, she's almost done...I hope.
Clarke: Haha oh boy. She didn't go overboard did she?
Lexa: It went well actually. I never thought of myself as much, but I think I look pretty.
Clarke: You're the most beautiful creature I've ever laid eyes on. Don't ever doubt that.
Lexa: You have to say that, you're my girlfriend :P
Clarke: I'm serious, Lex. You are drop dead, faint on the spot, drool worthy, mind blowingly gorgeous AND sexy.
Lexa: Sexy huh?
Clarke: Oh baby, you have no idea.
Lexa: My closet full of sweat pants and t-shirts does have a way of making the ladies swoon.
Clarke: You could wear a trash bag and I'd still want to jump your bones.
Lexa: Oh yeah? If that's the case, just wait until you see what I'm wearing tonight.
Lexa kept texting Clarke while Raven fiddled with her hair and teased her about sexting even though that wasn't at all what they were doing. Lexa was just teasing with hints of what she was wearing and Clarke was merely mentioning a few places she wanted to caress her girlfriend's body...with her tongue. It was all innocent really. Since deciding to take their relationship to the next level, the two teens had been more bold in their flirtation: in person and through text. Clarke even offered to send a photo or two but Lexa refused, saying that she wanted to wait so she could undress her girlfriend herself. It would be sort of like a present.
A half an hour passed and Clarke was going crazy in anticipation. Raven had texted and said that she wouldn't be prepared for how hot her girlfriend looked and the thought alone ignited a fire within. She didn't feel like she could wait anymore, and luckily the doorbell rang. The blonde practically sprinted to the front door and swung it open.
"Holy shit." she breathed out at the sight of her girlfriend. Lexa had on a dark green spaghetti strapped dress that showed off the curve of her hips that Clarke honestly never even noticed was there. It cut off just above her knees and her perfectly sculpted calves were exaggerated by the black stilettos on her feet. Her hair was down, a rarity, and it cascaded down over one shoulder in voluminous waves. There was just the perfect amount of cleavage, just a bit more than was shown when she wore a sports bra. The most breathtaking thing, however, was her eyes - because who's eyes are actually that deep of a forest green?
"Wow. Just...Lexa you look amazing. Wow."
"Thank you" She blushed before checking Clarke out. She wore the blue dress she'd seen at the first party they went to together with shoes similar to her own. The dress was extremely tight and very short. Lexa wasn't complaining about the view but in the back of her mind she couldn't help but think it was a little inappropriate for a dinner with her parents.
Clarke, thanks to her also wearing heels, was on equal ground with her girlfriend and only had to lean forward to press a quick kiss to Lexa's cheek. She frowned when she realized it was damp. Clarke pulled back and noticed it was raining outside and actually kind of chilly. She pulled Lexa inside and closed the door behind them. Summer was definitely over now: how strange it was to have such rain in Los Angeles, especially considering how dry it's been lately.
Lexa could smell food, amazing food if her sense of smell were any indication. Once further in the house, Lexa noticed there were candles everywhere serving as the only source of light, the dinner table was set for 2 with their fancy plates and cups, there was soft music playing in the background: when Lexa was about to ask what was going on, Clarke appeared in front of her with a single sunflower in hand.
Lexa smiled softly: they were her favorites. "I got rained on."
"I can see that." Clarke said. She was very well aware of it actually. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't tempted by the few droplets adorning the perfect body in front of her. "Are you cold?"
"No. It only started sprinkling when I got out of the car, I'm fine." Lexa stated. "Where are you parents?"
"They had some kind of emergency and had to leave town for a couple of days." she stated simply and offered up the flower. "I hope this is ok...I don't want it to seem like I'm trying to seduce you or anything. I just thought we haven't really had a proper date night in a long time and I wanted to surprise you."
The brunette smiled and twirled the sunflower between her fingers once and moved in to press a rough kiss to Clarke's lips. "This is more than ok. I love it."
With her arms around her girlfriend's neck, Clarke sighed in relief and said "Good, because I really missed spending time alone with you."
Lexa chuckled and rolled her eyes. "I saw you at school yesterday."
"Yeah we saw each other but we weren't alone and afterwards you were with Raven, and you were with her all day today too."
"Ugh, don't remind me. She made me go shopping and then spent all day trying to beautify me."
"Well you are very beautiful. You already are without all the primping but I'm not complaining about this either."
"Smooth talking me, are you?"
"Me?! Never!" Clarke gasped dramatically. "Come on: I made dinner."
The blonde dragged her girlfriend by the wrist and sat her down in front of the set table. She then went to the kitchen and came back with a blue pan in hand.
"You actually made something?" Lexa asked quizzically. "Am I going to find Cheetos and pretzels held together by cheese whizz in there?"
"Oh come on! I'm not that bad."
"I beg to differ. For an athlete you eat horribly."
Clarke simply offered up a glare before going back the kitchen one last time and returning with a chilled bottle of cider. She popped it open and poured some into each of their glasses. "It's not champagne. I know you don't drink." She said before Lexa could ask.
"Knowing my thoughts before I can even say them out loud. Hashtag relationship goals." the brunette laughed when her girlfriend rolled her eyes. "So what's for dinner, Mrs. Gordon Ramsey?"
"Lasagna."
"Ohhh. That sounds good. What else?"
"Um...That's it. Except for desert." Clarke blushed.
"What's for dessert?"
"Chocolate chip cookies." she whispered.
"So we're having lasagna, apple cider, and cookies..."
"It's kind of pathetic but you know I can't really cook. My mom put the lasagna together: all I did was put it in the oven, and I got the cookies from the store. I'm not good at the meal thing."
"I know you aren't. But I'm thoroughly impressed. Abby's lasagna is my favorite and I do have a soft spot for cookies."
"I tried to get things you would like."
"Why cider then? Regular apple juice is like my life force."
"I was trying to make it fancy. I didn't think it would be very romantic to serve something you could drink out of a juice box."
Lexa took it upon herself to distribute food onto their plates, enjoying her girlfriend's slight embarrassment about their dinner.
"You can get wine in a box, soy milk in a box, coffee in a box, protein drink in a box…"
"Maybe you could avoid being a smart ass at least some of the time?"
"Don't count on it, babe." Lexa retorted sarcastically with a wink.
Truth be told, Lexa would have been perfectly ok with pretzels and apple juice but it was more fun to tease Clarke.
"So how's Jenna? You don't talk about her much."
"She's good. Misses Anya a lot. We just talk, you know? Kind of like you and me but she feels the need to give advice about absolutely everything even if I don't ask."
"That's what moms do. Welcome to my world."
"I sort of like it though. Is that weird?"
"Not at all. Everyone needs an over involved mother figure at some point in their life."
Lexa nodded her agreement as they finished eating. It had been almost a month and half since doing something like this. They'd both missed it: just being together, talking about any and everything, and the witty banter.
The brunette grabbed their dirtied plates and headed for the kitchen. Clarke grabbed the pan of lasagna and followed after her. She had started doing dishes as she normally did after eating at the blonde's house.
"You don't have to do that."
"You made dinner, I do dishes."
"I didn't actually make anything, remember?"
"Even so. It's the principal."
Clarke quickly covered the left overs and tucked them into the fridge. She grabbed a cookie and popped it into her mouth before moving behind her girlfriend and grabbing a hold of her waist with one hand: resting her chin on the normally taller girl's shoulder.
"So? Netflix and chill?"
"Clarke." Lexa giggled. "You've got to let go of this obsession."
"Never." She tickled the brunette's sides, and that made them both laugh all the harder. Lexa turned around and flicked the suds from her finger tips into Clarke's face.
"Hey!" The blonde shouted and reached into the sink to collect some suds of her own and do the same. They flicked bubbles and water at each other until Lexa forgot what shoes she was wearing and rolled her ankle. She shrieked at the slight pain and was about to go down but luckily Clarke caught onto her shoulders in time.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah, I think so. Me and heels...not such a good idea." Lexa said through gritted teeth. Clarke slung an arm around her shoulder to help Lexa stand up straight. "It'll wear off I just need a few minutes."
Clarke leant down and tucked her free hand behind her girlfriend's knees and quickly swept her up bridal style.
"Sometimes I forget how strong you are." Lexa smirked.
"I think you also forget how tiny you are." the blonde retorted. "Do you need ice?"
"No, I'm fine, really. I just need to never wear these shoes again."
"I think you're right."
Lexa pulled Clarke in closer, if possible and rested their foreheads together. Their eyes locked and Lexa suddenly felt hyper aware of how her body was pressed into Clarke's and she wanted desperately to feel more.
"Lets...Lets go to your room." she whispered so quietly and quickly. If they hadn't been so close together, Clarke would have missed it all together. The blonde's cheeks flared a bright red and her mouth went dry with a thirst that could only be quenched by the girl resting so effortlessly in her arms.
"Are - are you sure?" the blonde stuttered
"Completely."
Clarke's feet started moving of their own accord and she was thankful because her brain had practically short circuited.
After what seemed like forever they made it down the hall and Clarke kicked her door shut behind her even though no one else was home. She sat Lexa down on the end of the bed a kneeled in front of her. She slipped the brunette's shoes off one at a time and placed a kiss on the inside of the ankle she rolled and placed several more on her calf and just above her knee before moving all the way up and fusing their lips together quickly. She pulled back to gaze once more into her girlfriend's eyes fully. Lexa tucked her bottom lip into her mouth and seemed to be just as eager as the blonde.
Clarke's heart hammered erratically in her chest and she knew the wait would be so worth it.
A/N: I know you guys adore cliffhangers.
I don't know if I've mentioned this before (and i'm too lazy to check) but I love all of your outrageous reviews. Some of them have me laughing for days!
