YAY, CHAPTER TWELVE


On the last time of Quest for Sanity...

Murtagh told a story about Galbatorix getting pwned, which raised Salacia's suspicions that Galbatorix and Murtagh changed bodies! Caprice also realized the possiblity, and then Durza entered the room. He did nothing, and they liked it. Yeah, that's right. NOTHING.

Now, Quest for Sanity will start. Starring Salacia as herself, Spike Lee as Caprice, Donald Trump as Galbator...

"What kind of retard starts a chapter like a soap opera?" Caprice complained.

"Uhh, Rachel." Salacia answered.

"What a pothead." Galbatorix commented.

"Galbatorix," Caprice said. "I hate to burst your bubble but, YOU are a pothead too."

"Whateva yo think about me is not true." Galbatorix complained. "You a playa hata!"

"Playa hata?" Salacia asked.

"Yeah, you hatin cus I got the shorties." Galbatorix claimed.

"Ummm, who was the person who slept with the Quaker Oat Man?" Caprice asked. "Oh, that was you!"

"Have you ever dated a girl before?" Salacia asked.

"She means, have you ever dated a girl without giving your credit card number to her." Caprice added.

"Yes, of course I have." Galbatorix replied.

"Did the girl go lesbian after you dated her?" Eragon asked.

"No!" Galbatorix yelled.

"Hmmm...this is odd." Salacia said.

"What's odd?" Caprice asked.

"Murtagh and Galbatorix are acting the same, so they couldn't have switched bodies." Salacia said.

"Then what happened?" Caprice asked.

"He brainwashed him." Salacia said.

"How could he brainwash Murtagh in somewhat like medieval times?" Caprice asked.

"How can Galbatorix be watching Jerry Springer in somewhat like medieval times?" Salacia asked.

---

"JERRY! JERRY!" Galbatorix screamed at the television.

"YOU STOLE MY MAN, HO!" the woman said.

"Yeah, whatcha goin do about it?" the other woman taunted.

"He don't love you at all!" the woman yelled.

"Well, if he don't love me, why did he tap this?" the other woman said spanking her butt.

"I KILL YOU HO!" the woman screamed.

"This is the best television show made." Galbatorix said hugging himself. "Because it's all so true."

---

"Maybe he's just lucky?" Murtagh added.

"No, you retards, he's magikal!" Eragon butted in.

"Magikal?" Salacia asked.

"If he's so magikal, then why can't he get a girl?" Caprice laughed.

"Maybe he had to trade in love for being magikal!" Salacia suggested.

"No, its just that Galbatorix is completely stupid about girls." Eragon said.

---

"Hi sexy." A woman said.

"Are you talking about yourself?" Galbatorix replied.

The woman laughed and then got closer to Galbatorix.

"You want to go somewhere else to get more acquainted?" she asked.

"Let's go into the kitchen and get more food!" Galbatorix exclaimed.

"That totally just broke the mood." the woman said and left.

---

"What a dumbass!" Caprice said."I mean that stupid chick wanted him."

"Yeah, and he was like, YAY, food!" Galbatorix added in.

"Dude, you just dissed yourself." Caprice replied.

"PLAYA HATA!" Galbatorix exclaimed.

"Yeah, right." Caprice said as she rolled her eyes.

"You just hatin cause I'm better than you." Galbatorix said crossing his arms.

"Okay, can we stop with all the gangster talking?" Eragon complained. "It's making my ears want to bleed."

"Maybe its yo voice that is making yo ears wanna bleed, yo punk ass!" Galbatorix claimed.

"Okay, seriously, that is getting really annoying." Caprice said.

"Shut up, yo playa hata!" Galbatorix said. "Or I'll pop a can in yo ass!"

"Um, Galbatorix its not can, its cap." Salacia added. "Like I'll pop a cap in your ass!"

"YOU ALL ARE CRITICS!" Galbatorix yelled. "I should kill you all!"

"You get on that." Caprice said sarcastically.

"I will." Galbatorix replied.

"Alright." Caprice said.

"Okay." Galbatorix said.

"Uh-huh." Caprice yawned.

"Yep." Galbatorix said.

"A-okay." Caprice said.

Galbatorix sat silent for a minute, and then crossed his arms.

"Damn you, girl!" Galbatorix said. "You stole all of my positive affirmations."

Galbatorix ran off to a phone, and then dialed a random number.

"Puede ayudarme?" Galbatorix said into the phone. "Tengo una problema con la chica quien roba me de palabras." (Can you help me? I have a problem with a girl who robs me of words.)

"How does Galbatorix know how to speak Spanish?" Salacia asked.

"I told you guys, he's magikal!" Eragon repeated.

"How magikal?" Salacia asked.

"More magikal than David Blaine!" Murtagh added in.

"No, that guy is just psychotic." Caprice added. "What kind of moron stays underwater for a week?"

"What about Tom Cruise?"Salacia added in. "That guy acts like and is a total ass."

"He's pretty psychotic too." Murtagh said.

"Well just leave at some celebrities are not all there." Salacia said.

Then it was silent in the room.

"Es ridiculo! Deba ayudarme!" Galbatorix yelled. "No te lo doy!"
(That's ridiculous! You must help me! I won't give it to you!)

"He must getting into the conversation." Murtagh said.

"I wonder who he's talking to and what he's talking about." Salacia said.

"That's why you get another phone receiver!" Caprice said. "Wow, how smart is that!"

Caprice picked up another phone receiver and put it to her ear. Thenshe brought to her ear, and then she tried to get it off her ear. The phone wouldn't come off her ear.

"The phone is stuck to my ear!" Caprice exclaimed.

"I told to Galbatorix was magikal!" Eragon said. "He likes to booby trap stuff!"

"Why didn't you tell us this earlier!" Caprice yelled.

"I don't know," Eragon replied. "I just wanted to see if it was true."

"Salacia, go offer yourself as a sacrifice to him." Caprice commanded.

"No, that's just stupid." Salacia said.

"How am I supposed to get a cordless phone from being stuck to my ear?" Caprice asked.

"Uh, I don't know, but we should find out next chapter." Murtagh said in a fake voice.

"Murtagh, you totally fucked that up." Eragon complained.

"So, your face is totally fucked up." Caprice commented.

The peanut gallery erupted, and then all the lights went out for a random reason that is unknown to everyone except the pizza guy and the ants. Oh, and John Kerry. Cause he got all those zombie powers. Yeaaaaah.


Chapter 12 for you. I tried to be funny, and probably failed. XD Anyway, read and review! I think that next chapter will be more of the cordless phone crap, and I got this crazy idea to have a Galbatorix Fan Mail chapter.

UNTIL NEXT TIME.