Chapter Six: 2011

Robin sat at the kitchen table. He wished, and not for the first time, that Simon was sitting in the opposite seat, talking about everything and nothing, watching the world go by out of the kitchen window. Somehow their time at the kitchen table was one of the things he missed most without Simon in his life. They had shared many moments in that place. There was something about the kitchen table that just seemed to breed memories. It was where they'd sat to laugh, to cry, to talk, to listen, to share, to plan – most aspects of their lives had involved at least one conversation taking place at that table.

It was still Robin's main thinking spot. That's why it was the first place he gravitated to when he arrived home. The day had taken an unexpected and shocking turn after the high he'd experienced at being declared a free man just a couple of hours before. This was supposed to be a night of relief and celebration, now there was only worry on his mind. He thought about Alex and her funny turn; her emotional questions, loss of memory and strange seizure, all of which had scared him to witness. He'd initially thought that Evan had been right; that she was simply not up to visitors yet, but as he'd walked slowly home and relived the visit and again he realised there was more to it than that.

It was almost funny to think of it now but Robin had been worried that she might have woken with no memory of her time in the past. After such a long coma he figured that such a case of amnesia could be likely, but it seemed that the opposite was true. Somehow her frightened, jumbled pleas reminded him of how he felt waking up in 1995, just in reverse. It was as though she had woken up in 2011 with no memory of her life before Gene's world. It felt like the Alex he spoke to that afternoon was an Alex who had no memory of her modern life.

He pressed his hands to his forehead. Shit. That was it. Somehow she had either blocked out her past, or –

No. It sounded ridiculous. But it was almost like, to Alex, her time in the real world had never happened at all. To Alex, 1995 was as real as it got and 2011 was just a very vivid dream.

Robin stared at the empty space across the table. He could almost see Simon sitting there, trying to help him work out a solution. At times like this he really longed to have him back. That was something unique about the two of them. They were more than just being friends and lovers, they were like one being with two bodies; they functioned better together than either of them did apart. Now Robin was left without Simon, he felt like only half a person.

"I really miss you, Si," he whispered.

The telephone started to ring which caused him to jump a little. His thoughts were finally broken by that sound. For the last couple of hours all he had been able to think about was Alex. He slowly got to his feet and slumped to the telephone which he answered with a sigh.

"Hello?"

"Robin?" the voice on the phone began awkwardly, "It's… it's Evan here."

Robin froze at those words. He began to feel anxious. He had been half expecting a call after Alex's turn. He had a feeling this was not going to be a pleasant conversation.

"H-hello, Evan," he said quietly.

There was a slight sigh on the line.

"I told you to leave Alex alone," he reminded Robin.

Robin bit his lip and closed his eyes for a moment. He knew it. He knew this was coming. As soon as he heard Evan's voice.

"Evan," he began quickly, "I'm sorry, I know what you said, but…"

"She has been through an extremely traumatic time!" Evan told him curtly, "her recovery got off to a very difficult start and she has just found an even keel! I didn't want anyone outside of close family upsetting her. Additional visitors are too much for her to cope with."

"I just wanted to see her and take her some flowers!" Robin protested.

"Now, thanks to your visit," Evan made it sound as though Robin had made an attempt to remove one of Alex's limbs while he was there, "Alex has suffered a seizure and the doctors are concerned about this affecting her recovery!"

"Hey, you can't go blaming me," Robin began, "the doctors allowed me through! They had no qualms about –"

"But I did!" Evan said angrily, "I had a bad feeling about it. I asked you to give her one more week to recuperate and grow stronger and you went against my expressed wishes!"

"I am sorry!" Robin didn't know what else he could say, "I just wanted to visit a friend!"

"Well from now on I'd appreciate it if you kept your distance," Evan said haughtily.

Robin hesitated.

"What do you mean?"

He heard another sigh on the line.

"Robin," Evan began, "I can understand… to a degree… why you have latched onto Alex. I understand that losing Simon must have brought you terrible, terrible grief and that you are trying to hold onto any reminders of him…"

"Hey, wait a moment," Robin scowled.

"…But this isn't the way to do it," Evan continued, "I feel that you have… become reliant on us over the last few weeks as a substitute for being with Simon."

Robin's mouth fell open, aghast.

"What?"

"You have attached yourself to myself and Molly because Simon and Alex were friends…"

"Now, wait a minute," Robin shook with anger, "that's not true. Alex is my friend too."

"Robin… I remember meeting you for the first time. Simon was visiting Alex after he had been discharged. You were just driving him home. You didn't know Alex. By your own admission you'd never met."

Robin began to shake. He had no answer for that. There was nothing he could say.

"I just wanted…," he trailed off.

"Now, I was glad to help you with your case," Evan told him, "and I am grateful for all the time that you and Simon spent by Alex's bed during her coma. But it is time to move on now." He heard Evan give another sigh. "I feel it would be best if you sought some professional counselling for your grief. Perhaps in time you will be able to move forward. But clinging to friendships that only existed through your partner won't help."

Robin trembled. There was not a thing he could say. He couldn't explain about 1995. He couldn't explain Gene's world. As far as Evan knew, Robin and Alex didn't know each other. They were two strangers on the street. He didn't have a leg to stand on.

"I just…," he tried, but Evan hadn't finished.

"I have asked the hospital to bar you and any other visitors outside of my pre-approved list from seeing her," he continued, "and I am having the wheels put into motion to remove her from hospital care and continue her rehabilitation at home where I can keep a firmer hand over who is allowed to see her and when."

"Evan, I'm sorry…," Robin tried, but Evan wasn't listening.

"I hope that you can get yourself sorted out," he said, "because I do understand how much you have been through. I am sure you will understand why I cannot risk Alex having a further… attack just by receiving a visit." He paused. "Goodbye, Robin."

As the line went dead and Robin stared at the receiver he could barely believe what had occurred. Banned from seeing Alex? He knew Evan was her godfather but he was behaving like the father of a teenage girl who he didn't want seeing boys on a school night.

He threw the receiver across the room, vaguely amazed that it didn't smash and break. He felt angry – angry with Evan for treating him that way, angry with himself for not listening to him in the first place and angry for ever having been in that position. Why did any of this have to happen? What happened to his quiet, peaceful existence where he'd share a joke with Simon over breakfast, head out to a job he loved and come home to a night of DVDs and companionship? Where had that life gone?

Something felt wrong. Something felt very wrong indeed and he knew that this wasn't going to be the end of the matter, he could feel it. Whatever Evan said, Alex needed help. He was pretty certain of that. He just hoped that he would somehow be able to offer her what she needed, despite Evan ruling over her recovery with an iron fist.