"We're sitting in a circle," Dean whispers with fright.
"No one has a guitar though," Lizzy answer back while surveying the room as her nervousness grows. "We might be safe."
Sitting on a cold metal folding chair each, Lizzy and Dean sit upright and rigidly as they scan around the circle of people in the church basement. Lizzy's shoulders are tense and her hands are folded in her lap, clasped together almost painfully tight, while her leg bounces a mile a minute. Dean, sitting to her left, has his back straight as an arrow and is not leaning against the back of his chair. If his hands were to grip his knees any tighter he's dislocate his own knuckles. The two of them look scared stiff and, given the environment, they're reminiscent of a couple straight out of a crappy, CBS sitcom in a comically tense situation.
"Welcome everyone," the very kind woman holding a clipboard in her hand greets as she takes one of the only empty seats left in the circle. "It's good to see that so many couples have decided to come to this meeting today. It just goes to show that none of you are alone in this experience."
"I'm making a run for the door," Dean whispers in a panicky tone as he leans over to Lizzy.
"You leave me here alone and there will be massive repercussions," she warns right back.
"My name is Johanna," the woman in charge continues. "I have been in your place a few times before in the past so I feel I can completely relate to what you are all going through. Through these meetings I hope to open up your eyes a little to the fact that so many people deal with the loss of a pregnancy every day. Sharing experiences and airing fears and worries will hopefully help you walk away in at least a little bit better a place than when you walked in." She smiles warmly to the group and reads over her list of names on the sign in sheet attached to the clipboard.
"Ok, fuck this," Lizzy whispers to Dean as she grabs his forearm. Sharing? Airing fears? Hell no! "We both make a run for it on the count of three."
Lizzy may be the usually open and emotionally talkative person, but this is too damn much for even her. Everything they just experienced only three days ago is too raw and new and speaking aloud about it, to strangers none the less, is her personal hell at the moment.
"One…" she starts the countdown. "Two…"
"I see we have a few new couples joining us today."
"We're so screwed," Dean laments, knowing they weren't getting out that easily now.
"Lizzy Ford and Dean Plant," Johanna calls out and looks up at the group. "Where are you?"
Very slowly Dean and Lizzy raise their hands, not getting them any higher than their shoulders.
"We're all very happy to meet you two. We also have Lola and Enrique Reyes."
The couple sitting right next to Lizzy raise their hands just as hesitantly as she and Dean did.
"It's great to meet you two also."
Lizzy and Lola make eye contact and smile sheepishly at each other, feeling each other's misery and discomfort. The Reyes' look quite awkward in the situation also.
"What I would like to do first is listen to the stories of our new members to find out where they are in their process of finding acceptance. That way the people in this room who can relate can share with them what they've learned and how they've progressed over time."
"Oh God no," Lizzy says under her breath, her heart rate peaking. Dean, who is white as a ghost over the idea of having to talk aloud to these unknown people, grabs her hand tight. It was not only to calm her nerves but to calm his own as well.
"Lola, do you mind sharing your story with us?" Johanna looks over to Lola expectantly, followed by the rest of the room. It's very intimidating and Lizzy, though super relieved to not have to speak first, feels the woman to her right's pain.
"Um, ok," Lola starts while swallowing hard. "Well, Rique and I had been trying for a long time. We uh, weren't successful for nearly a year. Seemed like a constant uphill battle."
"It was the same for us," another woman speaks up. "My husband and I had been trying for nearly three years before we were successful. We both know how difficult and absolutely frustrating that can be."
Lola nods slowly. "It was bad. But about two months ago we found out we were finally pregnant and it was so exciting. We were over the moon." Lola looks over to Enrique sadly before turning back to the group. "It felt like the effort and patience was so worth it. My mother cried for an hour once I told her she was so happy. Two weeks ago we went in for a routine checkup and the doctor…." Shaking her head, Lola grows quiet when the emotions take her. Her husband starts speaking for her.
"He said Lola wasn't pregnant anymore," Enrique explains. "We don't know what happened. We never saw this coming. She never had any symptoms or anything."
Lizzy squeezes Dean's hand with the information. Lola was exactly who they were looking for.
"When the doctor told us, it was awful," Enrique continues. "We went from so excited about the future to just crushed in the matter of minutes."
"The worst part was the disappointment," Lola continues. "It broke my heart. I loved him or her, even if it was only a month in when it happened…"
Lizzy's own heart begins to ache as she hears Lola's words. She felt the exact same way. Letting go of Dean's hand, she goes with her compulsive need to show the woman some kind of support and grabs Lola's hand instead. Not expecting the gesture, Lola looks over to Lizzy with tears in her eyes and accepts the kindness offered to her.
"I'm so sorry," Lizzy tells her, not knowing what else to say.
"Thank you."
"Lizzy, it seems you can relate to Lola," Johanna speaks up as she watches their interaction. "Has your story been the same?"
Lizzy stares at Johanna immediately with fear filled wide eyes and swallows hard. She glances at Dean once, seeing how worried he is about her having to speak, but she sucks it up. Lola was strong enough to share her experience so she can be too.
"No," Lizzy answers truthfully. "It was very different."
"How was it different?" Johanna pushes, clearly seeing Lizzy's reluctance.
"Well, I… ha, I feel kinda like I don't belong here," Lizzy admits, her anxiety gripping her. These people probably all wanted kids from the jump and here she is about to whine about losing something she never tried for in the first place. "I feel like most people here were planning a pregnancy. I wasn't."
"You mean you and Dean weren't trying to start a family?"
"No, not at all," she tells Johanna and the group. "I got pregnant by accident. We've never tried before. Now isn't really the time for us."
Johanna smiles small at her. "Sounds like you changed your mind though."
Lizzy nods while glance over to Dean once more, her barriers slowly lowering. "It's like what Lola just said." She squeezes the woman's hand and looks at her. "I was already in love. Head over heels and all." She can feel the tears collecting along the bottoms of her lids.
"Dean, how did you feel about Lizzy being pregnant?" Johanna asks.
"Oh, ah, I didn't know," Dean simply answers.
"You didn't know?" Johanna pries with surprise.
"Yeah, Lizzy didn't tell me," Dean says and quickly realizes that he's making her look bad unintentionally. "I mean, she had just found out herself and needed some time to think things through before telling me. Like she said, this wasn't planned or anything. And it was only a couple days."
"I still shouldn't have done it, kept it from him," Lizzy adds. "I was freaking out. This was a shock in every sense of the word. I didn't know if I was ready, or if he was either, or if we could handle that at this point in our lives since our lives right now are so… um, hectic. I was scared."
"And that's ok," Dean further explains. "I get that. I would've been terrified too."
"It's good that you're so understanding, Dean," Johanna observes.
"No shit," Lizzy remarks and the group lets out a quiet, tension breaking laugh. "I am very lucky to have him, trust me. Only Dean would be that accepting of my holding out like that."
"Well, I'm usually the one making the bad decisions in this relationship," Dean smiles over to her and takes her hand. "I owe her one. Or a million maybe." He's warming up to the situation quite quickly. Ok, so this whole support group thing wasn't as frightening as he thought it'd be.
"Yeah, that's very true," Lizzy smiles right back, once more the group sharing a quick laugh.
"So how did you finally tell him?" Johanna asks.
"Oh, it wasn't good," Lizzy grimaces. "He found out I was pregnant the night I miscarried. I never told him before it happened because I… lost it… just a few days after I found out I was pregnant to start with. I never had the chance. I still feel so guilty about not letting him know earlier once that happened."
"And you know I'm not mad," Dean once more checks with her. He hates the idea that she'd possibly think he'd hold a grudge over that.
"I know," Lizzy says while a tear works its way down her cheek. She couldn't help it. This was one hell of an emotional experience and hearing Dean be honest and open for once, impossible to get through without crying a little. Dean reaches over and wipes the tear away for her, hating seeing her so sad.
"My husband and I weren't trying either," another woman from across the circle speaks up and offers her own support. "It was a total surprise to us too. Once we knew and we talked about it though, we realized we wanted to have the baby. We realized that's exactly what we wanted."
"That's how I felt," Lizzy says, feeling the weight lessen with the shared moment.
"Once we knew," the woman continues. "We were very excited. We felt so lucky that it was happening whether we planned it out or not and, even though we felt completely unprepared and that our lives weren't where they should be for a child, we wanted to make it work."
Lizzy and Dean both nod, understanding what the woman was telling them completely.
"So did I," Lizzy adds while looking over at Dean. "I wanted to find a way to make it work so bad."
"I would have wanted that too," he returns honestly.
"Well," says the very sharing woman, "I promise we can relate to you…."
Ok, Sam thinks to himself, this list Dean made is finally getting smaller.
While Lizzy and Dean were off trying to gather whatever they could from the support group, Sam's been on task, the current task being to narrow down their list of suspects and doing so without puking. He's sick as a dog still and it's almost noon now. No more drinking with Lizzy. When Dean is with them Lizzy can focus her hard drinking on her alcoholic partner in crime but without the distraction he took on the full brunt of her persuasiveness.
He's crossed out nearly every supernatural thing that didn't fit the profile. By now, he's only got one possible culprit left. It's one of the few creatures Dean came up with the day before during his Filipino lore search.
This monster was a new one for Sam, which is saying a lot. He's never heard the name before, not in his travels and definitely not in his dad's journal. If this is actually what is eating up babies and elderly people, then they'd better hope there's a lot of information about them out there.
Sam types 'aswang' into the search engine of his choice and immediately gets nearly 700,000 hits.
"Maybe Dean was on to something," Sam says to himself as he begins clicking on several sites that appear to be reputable enough. Very soon he realizes that the aswang is very, very well-known overseas. This thing has several pages dedicated to the sightings and stories surrounding it's appearances in civilization and from the looks of things it's quite feared. The lore on it appears intimidating as every article he sees varies from the last. The word of mouth mythology surrounding it seems to have evolved several times over the course of its existence.
In no time at all, Sam's knows exactly what he has to do. He needs to find a solid resource for information on this thing. A resource that's clear, reliable, and always right. A resource that's been there and done that in almost all cases of supernatural anything.
"Hey Bobby," Sam greets once the other line picks up.
"Sam," Bobby greets right back. "What's going on?"
"What do you know about the aswang?" Sam asks, getting up and grabbing the bottle of ibuprofen from Lizzy's black medical bag.
Bobby sighs loudly with the mention of the creature.
"I can tell ya' they're very well known in Filipino lore," Bobby instantly answers. "Nasty fuckers too. Appetite to rival any creature out there, and a very specific diet… you telling me you've never heard of the aswang of the Philippines?"
"Ah, no. Can't say that I have." Sam pops three pills into his mouth and grabs the Gatorade Lizzy bought him before they headed out to down them.
"That surprises me. Those things have been documented for centuries."
"Well, I'm beginning to think we've found one."
"In the states?" Bobby questions disbelieving.
"Yeah. Is that weird?"
"Very. They tend to stay in the Philippines. Where are you?"
"Los Angeles."
"Hmm, a little odd," Bobby tells him. "But it makes sense. There's a huge Filipino population around those parts."
"Alright, hold on. How the hell do you know all this?" Sam has to ask as he sits down at his laptop and opens a Word document to start taking notes.
"Easy," Bobby answer in a matter-of-fact manor. "Killed one years ago in California with Rufus."
"Of course you did," Sam smiles, knowing he should have assumed it. "Well, I'm all ears, Bobby. Tell me everything you know."
Both Dean and Lizzy let out a simultaneous sigh when Johanna brings the meeting to an end. It was a long one, and an emotional one, but they got through it somehow. They glance at each other with thankfulness. Lizzy gives his hand a squeeze as they never let go of one another for the remainder of the meeting. Dean flashes a quick smile back. They both know they got plenty out of the experience and they feel better about everything already.
"I'm gonna get that list of people from the meeting," Dean tells her, dropping her hand and standing up to do what they originally came here for.
"Ok," Lizzy nods, standing up also. "I'm gonna talk to Lola. I feel like she's a good source."
"You're probably right," Dean agrees with a sigh as he searches her expression . "Hey, ah, you ok? After all this?"
"Shockingly, yeah. I am," Lizzy tells him, her nerves coming down. "This might've actually been as helpful as it was a pain in my ass."
"I hear ya'," Dean smiles slightly.
"How 'bout you?" Lizzy wonders, brow lowered and very curious to see how he's holding up. Dean doesn't always deal well with heavy stuff… scratch that, Dean never deals well with heavy stuff… and this one is as heavy as it gets. "You, I don't know, better with everything I guess?"
Looking at the floor first, Dean peers into Lizzy's eyes and nods. "I am better. Still sucks but I'm doing better."
"Who woulda thought that talking it all out would help, huh?" Lizzy jokes to him while stepping forward and wrapping her arms around his waist.
"Not me," Dean answers with levity right back as he brings his arms around her shoulders. "And don't get too used to it. I'm done talking for a while."
"I'll allow it," Lizzy smirks and pushes up on her tip toes, her usual move when she wants him to lean down and meet her. She kissed him in thanks, knowing just how much worse this whole experience was for him than it was for her. The kiss, one that was a little more than innocent, helps them understand that they will, in fact, make it past this with flying colors.
"Ok, not the time or place," Lizzy smiles as she lowers herself and steps away from him. "Go get that list."
"Yeah," Dean agrees, standing with his hands on his hips and composing himself for a second. She hasn't kissed him like that in far too long. He missed that. "Alright, meet you at the car."
