Sorry about the break there guys! More regular updates to come and just so you know I did replace the fifth chapter of OMSD if you are reading that it just didn't show as being updated.

Emily's PoV

The only thing worse than heartbreak is denial.

"Prentiss." Like the air conditioning wasn't already cranked his icy tone made me cold; I suppressed a shiver that was trying to ram it's way up my spine.

"Agent Hotchner." I replied evenly not showing how much his words hurt. One of the many things that I never forgot from the CIA was to never let anyone see you hurt. Wait, never mind, that was one of the lessons my mother jammed down my throat.

We sat in stiff bureau chairs with his large oak desk in between us; in more ways than one it was a barrier. It was one for emotions like love and hate but also a physical one- because I swear to God if that man got any closer to me I was going to kill him... or rip off his clothes and- God my mind needed to stop going there.

"I understand that this may be a difficult conversation for you Prentiss and I appreciate you cooperation."

I choked on my spit in a very unattractive way and raised a well groomed eyebrow at his obscene statement. He broke his signature scowl for just a moment to give me a confused look of his own.

"For my cooperation? With complete respect here, Sir." Sir sounded a suspicious amount like fuck you but that wasn't my fault. "You practically forced me to come here! And what do you mean by a difficult conversation for me? Compared to some of the shit I've been through this conversation seems like a fucking walk in the park. You're not treating me fairly. Let's just get straight to the point here and cut all this bs." My voice had levelled out from the shrill shriek it had risen to and my fists were now nicely folded in my lap instead of clenched in shaking balls at my side.

That was when I got the famous Hotchner glare that made professional hit men quiver in their seats. I keep my jaw out at a defiant level and tried to keep my gaze even.

Seconds before he opened his mouth I noticed the fire in his eyes the the red hue of his usually composed face and realized that I was in for it now.

"You chose to come here Emily." Gone was the false pretence of professionalism and here was the raw emotions that had been plaguing us for much too long. "I asked you and you complied- I apologize for trying to be respectful. Actually no! I'm tired of apologizing to you because your emotions are too fucking delicate!" I couldn't stop the flinch at his raised tone and felt a familiar heat rise in my throat and burn my eyes. "I've been trying to protect you since you got back here. I've been making sure you're alright! That you're going to the psychologist that you won't even speak to!"

I remained silent not trusting my voice and thanked the heavens for the few feet of privacy the desk allowed my crumbling shreds of dignity.

"You know what Em? It wasn't that easy for me either. I had to lie to my family for you all because you slept with a fucking terrorist. Now please tell me how I'm not treating you fairly?" His tone was soaked in a sarcastic marinade of hate and anger.

My saliva thickened and my eyes felt as if they were being pricked with hot pins. I felt the weak vulnerable Emily from long nights alone and doubting voices start to surface. But then I caught her- I would not cry in front of this man who I thought I could trust, no I would give him Hell.

"I'm sorry you are having a hard time with your daughter but what did you expect? You abandoned her." I saw his eyes widen at his own words and his mental plea to for me to let him take them back.

Too late, I thought. I knew we would both regret this later but that was the only thing our relationship could seem to handle- regret.

"I slept with Ian for a job Aaron. It's not a nice job and don't think for one moment that I don't hat myself for it. But it's not the only job I've done- I have plenty more skeletons in my closet that I don't intend on sharing. Amy and I are actually getting along fine- thank you. Just an FYI Hotch I cried every night for four years about having to give up Amelia."

With that I rose from the navy cloaked chair and marched from his office.

-CM-

Hotch's PoV

With that I watched the woman I loved confidently stride from my office with a simple- I'm going home now.

The fight drained from me as I collapsed into the ridged bureau chair. That's when the waves of guilt started to pound into my heart and into my soul. How could I have been so stupid?! I loved that woman indefinitely although I would never admit it.

The look in her eyes as I told her that Amy should hate her would haunt me forever. I wanted to be sick but there was nothing to do about it now except for trying to make it up to her- because, as I had just found out, trying to just smooth things over didn't work very well with the only person I knew who could be as hot headed as me.

The ache in my heart returned that had been absent for four years as I realized something- Emily Prentiss hated me.

Dont worry guys it will be getting better for Em and Hotch just stick with me! I would really like to know who is still reading after the break there so if you could just drop a review that says hi or something that would be great. More to come on Tuesday or Wednesday if I'm not swamped with homework ;)!

- Rose