Author's Note: Please bear with me as I know my updates are taking much longer than they used to. I am trying to deal with a busted laptop and a lot of personal problems, including having to move very suddenly.
Dedication: This chapter is dedicated to my friend and beta Astraearose-silvermoon, who has been so encouraging through my recent issues. You are amazing and I am so thankful you are my friend!
A Wish
Chapter 12
This Little Light of Mine
Shingo looked around his room at his - for the moment - age mates. Now he wasn't alone in having a voice that squeaked in odd moments, hormones that were running rampant, and thoughts about girls that were rather horrifying to confess.
Kunzite was sitting in the second beanbag chair, staring with rapt attention at the television, where the opening credits for a nineties movie about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They had all picked up on the English language by the end of the last movie they had watched, Surf Ninjas. The marathon would probably continue with the second and third Ninja Turtles movies before they switched to the 3 Ninjas series, followed by the entire Karate Kid series.
Apparently he wasn't alone in his fascination for old American kids movies. And it gave the older teens a chance to decompress, plan, and work out issues they had to face in the coming days. He was just happy he could help.
"I'm not stopping," Jadeite said suddenly, breaking his train of thought.
Kunzite grabbed the remote and paused the movie before turning to his brothers, who were all sitting cross-legged on Shingo's bed.
"Not stopping what?" Nephrite asked.
"Calling them mom and dad. First, it will freak people out, so it's funny."
"And second," asked Zoicite, grinning.
"Mom almost died to give us a second chance," Jadeite answered. "That deserves recognition. And dad..." his voice trailed off for a moment. "He loves us as much as she does. I've never seen anyone move the way he did yesterday."
Shingo shuddered at the memory. He had been playing a game, bored with the conversation downstairs, when he heard Usagi yelling for Nephrite to get out of the tree. He had gotten to the window just in time to see him fall, and the blur that had been Mamoru on his way up the tree. He nodded. Whether by biology or not, Mamoru loved those kids like any father would.
"Makes sense to me," Kunzite said. "But I think I'll save it for special occasions," he added hastily.
The others laughed and Shingo couldn't help but join in. It was odd hearing anyone call his sister mom, but he supposed he could get used to it. Besides, one day he knew she would have kids.
Kunzite pressed the play button, turning back around, and they all went silent as they watched. It was the perfect type of movie for young teenage boys. A whole lot of fighting and trying to do the right thing.
Usagi looked back and forth between her mother and father, who seemed to be having a discussion without words. Her father was grinning widely and her mother trying not to break into laughter. She wondered exactly what they were thinking. They were all crowded around the dinner table for a late lunch.
Kenji had taken a few days off work, and was determined to organize everything to his liking before he went back. The rest of them had one more week of August vacation before they went back to school. Mamoru handed a paper to her father and sat next to Usagi, taking her hand in his as he bowed his head, hiding his face.
"Alright," Rei said, obviously as curious as Usagi was. "Spill. We can't take it anymore."
Kenji laughed, looking at the paper in his hand, then handed it to Ikuko who grinned and nodded.
"We all officially own a house," Mamoru explained. "We bought it outright."
"How?" Ami asked. "Doesn't it take longer than that? I thought there was a whole bunch that went into buying a property like that, especially since it's zone differently." She had a strange look on her face.
"It helps to know the right people," Ikuko said, then laughed. "Not only are we friends with a lawyer and a judge," she added, "but the judge's wife just happens to work in real estate and was able to help us find a few loopholes. The zoning has actually been changed. There are two business locations on the property, which can be used again at any time, but the rest of the property is residential."
Usagi only shook her head. She didn't really understand. That sort of thing was better left in the hands of her parents and Mamoru.
"Wait," Rei said, frowning now, "you said all of us."
"I did," Mamoru said, laughing. "The property is co-owned. Everyone pitched in one way or another," he added, grinning at Makoto. "Ami's mother, Rei's grandfather, and Minako's parents all helped. We put in the largest portion, and Makoto gave the last little bit. We are all part owners."
"I don't get it," Minako said, "but he's telling the truth. Also, Usagi's parents will officially be my guardians while I am in Tokyo, since my parents have to stay in London. And they've also taken official guardianship of Makoto and the boys," she added, looking at the four boys who were currently discussing the benefits of American Pizza and subway systems with Shingo.
Usagi laughed, knowing exactly what they were talking about. She and Shingo loved the Ninja Turtles, and pretty much every other old American movie that involved ninjas. A lot of them had their facts wrong, but it didn't matter. They were fun. That was what counted.
Since none of the kids were paying attention to the discussion, she turned back, determined to pay attention, for their sakes as well as her own. Mamoru was looking at the paper again. He'd been holding it when he came out of her father's office a few minutes before, and hadn't let her peek.
"So when do we move in?" Minako asked.
"This weekend," Ikuko announced. "Which means the lot of you will have to help us pack. There are going to be cleaners and a contractor at the new property for the next few days, but then we are moving on in."
Usagi was a bit surprised. She'd thought her mother had reservations about moving. It was clear she loved the house and wanted to keep it, but she decided to wait to talk to her about it when there were fewer people around. Instead she stood and grabbed one of the bowls which had rice and stew. She added more food to the kids bowls and urged them to eat while they talked.
"What about this place?" Ami asked. "Are you keeping it?"
"We are," Kenji said after a long moment. "One day it will go to Shingo, as Mamoru technically already owns a house, just outside the city."
"You do?" Usagi asked, surprised.
"Not until I turn twenty," mamoru explained. "It belonged to my parents and is in trust. It's a pretty place, but it's too far away for us to get to any battles in Tokyo on time."
"Oh," Usagi said, wondering what else she didn't know about Mamoru. She hadn't known he had money, or a house. What else didn't she know? She supposed in the long run it didn't matter. The important part was that he loved her, and that was enough. Mamoru squeezed her hand as though he could tell what she was thinking.
"We need boxes if we're going to start packing everything," Ikuko said, looking around at everyone.
"Wait," Shingo said from his spot at the other end of the table. "We're moving?"
Usagi and the others laughed. She guessed he hadn't really been paying attention.
"Mom?" Zoicite asked, peeking his head around the door to her room. He could see her kneeling beside her bookshelf, packing the mix of manga and other books that were stuffed all over the place.
"What is it Zo?" Usagi asked, turning to him.
"Can I talk to you for a minute?"
Usagi patted the spot next to her on the rug. She looked over at him as he sat down, concern written all over her face. "What's wrong baby?" she asked.
Zoicite frowned. It wasn't really that anything was wrong. He just wasn't sure what to think. Everything was different in his mind than it had been only the day before, and he didn't know how to handle it. It seemed like every time he blinked he was different. He had a whole bunch of memories that were coming to the surface, some of them pretty intense.
"How do you know you're in love?" he asked. "With dad I mean. Cause I know you were together in your last life, but it's different than this one, right? So, I mean, do you have to be with him, in love with him, or do you want to be?" He felt a little out of breath when he finished speaking, and stared at her, realizing his words had come out in a rush.
Mom leaned her back against the bed and pulled him up next to her. "Zo, there isn't a right or a wrong with love," she said softly. "You don't have to love anybody. Maybe some of my feelings for Mamo-chan came from our last lives, but I doubt it had a real effect," she explained. "I didn't like him very much when I first met him, even though I thought he was cute."
"You didn't?"
She laughed. "Not at all," she said, giggling. "I accidentally hit him with a test paper and he made a huge deal about it and called me Odango Atama."
"He did?" Zoicite asked, surprised.
"He really did. And after that, I'm pretty sure I accidentally hit him with my shoe less than a week later. We started running into each other, quite literally, almost every day. He swears he has a perfect indentation of my nose in his chest." Giggling, she rested her head on top of Zo's, holding him close.
"So what happened? When did you start to like him?"
"I'm not really sure when it started," Usagi answered. "A lot of little things changed my mind about him. I watched him a lot, and when he didn't know I was there it was like he was a completely different person."
"How?"
She sighed. "He was so quiet," she explained. "There was this group of girls that would follow him around. They were always trying to get his attention. They would make him things, or say bad things about other girls. They tried to trick him into dates and oh, all sorts of stuff. But when they were around him, it was almost as though he didn't notice them. I'm sure he saw them, but they didn't rile him up. He was never more than distant and polite with any of them. But the second he saw me, it was like he woke right up. He would sit up straight, look me in the eye, and insult me. Nothing too mean. It was like he wanted to get a reaction out of me. So I gave him one."
"She gave me one alright," Dad said from the doorway, grinning. "She dumped chocolate milkshakes on my head, called me names right back, mostly Mamoru-baka, and never let me get a big head." He laughed. "Every time she came into the arcade I felt more alive. It took a while, and a bit of help from Motoki for me to see it though."
"Why?" Zoicite asked, more curious than ever.
Mamoru shrugged and sat cross-legged across from them. "I don't know. I didn't really admit to myself that I liked her. Maybe it was because I was afraid."
Zoicite wasn't sure he heard right. "Why would you be afraid? Mommy wouldn't hurt you?"
Mamoru shook his head. "Not physically," he said after a moment. "But I was afraid to let myself care for anybody, because if you care, and then you lose them, it hurts more."
"But what about Uncle Toki? You care about him. He's your best friend!" Zoicite was worried, and more confused than ever.
"Much like your mom, Motoki didn't give me much of a choice. We met in middle school. He took one look at me and decided we were best friends, and nothing I could say or do would change his mind. Same thing with Usagi, though how she ever fell in love with me, I'll never understand."
"It wasn't cause she was Sailor Moon and you were Tuxedo Kamen?" he asked, unsure.
"No," Mom said, laughing. "If anything, that only confused both of us more," she added, turning slightly so she could look him in the eyes. "I think I realized I had feelings for Mamoru when he saved Luna from being hit by a car, but I wouldn't even admit it to myself. Then Tuxedo Kamen kissed me a little while later and I was really upset because I liked him so much. I told myself I only liked Tuxedo Kamen, that I was kidding myself about Mamoru because he could never like somebody like me," she said sadly.
"Why? You're really pretty and smart and stuff," Zoicite said, coming instantly to her defense.
Usagi laughed. "I don't know. I don't see myself that way. I've always thought I was a bit of a mess," she added.
"When did you know you loved mom?" Zoicite asked, turning to his dad.
"The minute the test paper hit me in the face," Mamoru said softly.
Usagi gasped. "Then?" she asked, in a weird voice. "You knew then?"
Dad nodded. "I also knew you were far too good for me, and I was terrified of losing someone I loved again," he added. "It didn't take long for me to realize what the feelings were, and then I tried to hide them by acting like a jerk. Then, when I realized I was Tuxedo Kamen, I was even more conflicted, because of all my strange feelings for Sailor Moon. And the dream princess," he continued. "It was like I was being pulled three ways, which made me feel like I wasn't good enough for any of you. When I realized who you were I put it all together and figured out you were the princess too," he added, laughing. "After that it was hard to resist you. Then you dumped that shake on my head and I stopped trying."
"So that's why you kissed me," Usagi said, blushing. "I thought you were trying to get me back for dumping all that freezing chocolate on your head," she giggled.
"Nope. I just couldn't take another minute without you." Mamoru turned to Zoicite. "So what's going on bud? Why the sudden question?"
Zoicite shrugged and felt his face heat. He knew he was blushing and there was no way to stop it. "When we lived before, on the moon, and then again here, I had feelings for Ami. Feelings that I don't really understand now. I mean, if I liked her, why did I kill her? And why do I feel all strange in my belly when I see her now? What's wrong with me?"
"Absolutely nothing," Mommy said.
"Not a thing," Daddy said. He smiled. "Zoicite, those feelings in your belly are because of physical attraction," he said softly. "That's only one little part of being in love, and not the most important part."
"What's the most important part?" Zoicite asked, worried. Was something wrong with him?
"The most important part is wanting the best for the other person. Wanting them to be safe and happy, even if it isn't with you."
"But if you love someone, shouldn't you want to be with them?" Zoicite asked, confused.
"Of course. But what if being near you puts the other person in danger?" Mamoru asked. "That's one of the reasons your mom and I didn't get together right away. We both thought we were protecting the other. I thought she would be in danger because I was Tuxedo Kamen. She thought I would because she was Sailor Moon. It wasn't until I realized who she was that I knew it was safe to date her."
"So you wanted to keep her safe, even if it made you unhappy," Zoicite said, everything starting to make sense.
"Exactly," Usagi whispered, looking at Mamoru. "Real love isn't selfish," she added, "it can be a lot of things, but it is never selfish. If you love someone, you want the best things for them, even if the best things for them aren't very good for you."
"And that is when you learn to compromise," Mamoru added, smiling.
Zoicite nodded. He had a lot to think about. He loved his Ami. He knew that, but was he good for her? That was another question entirely. He had killed her when they lived on the moon. And then he had attacked her when he was turned evil. What if he was turned evil again? What if he hurt her again?
"You can't be turned evil ever again," Mommy said, and he realized he had been speaking out loud.
"I can't?" he asked.
Usagi shook her head. "No Zo. None of you boys can, and none of us either."
"How come?" he asked.
"Your dad and I did a Soul-Link. It's a really old type of magic using the Crystals. We tied all of us together in a really special way. What it means is that none of us can ever be forced to hurt each other again. We did it last night after you went to sleep."
Zoicite nodded. He hugged her, then stood and went to hug his dad. He still had to think about everything he had learned. He knew his brothers were still watching movies with Shingo, but he'd had to know. Finally, he waved to them and made his way back to Shingo's room. He figured he was physically about fourteen years old, but with his memories from two lifetimes coming back he felt older, and yet younger at the same time. It was all rather confusing.
He lay down in one of the sleeping bags on the floor and stared at the television, not really seeing the Turtles, who were apparently in the middle of a battle somewhere in the past. His mind was on Ami. What was best for her?
Ami and Makoto sat on the tiny back patio in the dark. The house was quiet. Most of the others had probably already gone to sleep, but Makoto hadn't been tired, and when she had come outside she'd found Ami staring up at the moon.
"What's on your mind?" she asked, a little worried about her friend.
"I don't really have anything particular on my mind," Ami said, still looking up at the sky. She let out a soft sigh. "I guess I'm just worried what the next few days will bring," she said finally. "The boys should be fully grown sometime in the next forty-eight hours. Will they stop when they reach our age, or Mamoru's, or will they keep aging?"
"From what I was able to find out, they were all roughly the same age when they were taken, around sixteen. If you figure they spent nearly two years in the Negaverse, I figure they were seventeen or eighteen. That means they were about Mamoru's age. I'm pretty sure they'll stop aging then."
"I hope so," Ami said, her voice tinged with worry.
"If they don't," a new voice added, and Makoto turned to see Usagi in the doorway, "I will make another Wish. This time though, I will be much more careful how I word it. My only excuse before is that I was dying," she added, sitting next to them.
Rei and Minako followed her out of the house. Soon all five girls were leaning against the wall of the house, staring up at the bright silvery moon. Makoto felt calm and at peace with them. She rarely got to spend time with just them anymore. She hadn't even realized how much she had missed it.
"The boys have all been asking some serious questions," Rei said, looking over at the others. "About love, and what their place is in the world. I found it rather hard to explain it all to Jed. He wanted to understand why Beryl had been able to turn him evil, and what it meant about him." She let out a sad sigh. "I explained the Soul-Link as best I could, but I don't think I really have any answers about how they were turned."
"I know those coffin things flooded them with dark energy," Usagi said, and Makoto heard her sniffle. "Mamo-chan almost fought free of it once," she added, so softly they almost couldn't hear her. "Then he was put back inside and it was like the evil in him was doubled the next time I saw him."
"I don't understand it either," Ami said, her voice sounding clinical. "Scientifically it shouldn't be possible. But then again, how do some people get hypnotized?"
"And brain injuries," Makoto added, thinking of Mamoru. "How do people forget entire parts of their lives?"
"I don't think those questions have any good answers," Minako said softly. "I wish I knew, but if wishes were beggars, horses would fly."
"If wishes were horses, beggars would ride," Ami corrected, and Makoto snorted.
"I've heard it both ways," Minako said, and even in the dark Makoto could see she was blushing. She snorted again.
"I don't know you guys," Rei said. "What I do know is that they boys are growing up. They've gotten past the squeaking voices and crazy hormones stage, which means they don't really need us as much anymore."
"They'll always need us," Usagi said. "Maybe not the same way," she explained, looking around at each of them. "They are dealing with a lot of memories. Right now they don't need parenting so much as friendship. Soon though, they will need you girls a lot more. They will need you to understand them like no one else can. I know how much you love them, and how confusing all of this has been for all of you. Heck, its been confusing for me too, but now things are about to change again and we have to be ready." She was peering at Ami as she spoke and Makoto wondered what she knew or suspected. Maybe Zoicite had said something to her.
"We'll be there for them," Makoto promised.
"And Mamo-chan and I will be here for you," Usagi said. "You are probably all feeling a bit overwhelmed yourselves. It can't have been easy, especially since I was so sick and you all had to do so much."
"I find it interesting that even as infants the boys seemed to choose us," Rei said. "It's like their souls called out to ours."
Makoto nodded. "I was thinking the same thing," she said. "I don't know how or why they chose us, but they did, and it always felt right. No matter what age they were, or what they were experiencing, I always felt like I was uniquely able to help Nephrite."
"Me too," the others chorused, except Usagi. She had a sad look on her face. Makoto reached out and put a hand on her knee.
"I feel so strange about all of it," Usagi said, looking at them all. "I love them like a mother, but also like a friend. I would do anything for any one of you girls, all of you know that, but it's different with the boys. It's like if something happened to them it would steal a piece of my soul. Does that make any sense?"
"I'm pretty sure that's how every mother feels," Minako said, smiling. "And no matter what, you and Mamoru are their mom and dad, even though things are changing."
Usagi gave a sad smile. "It went by so fast," she said softly.
They all lapsed into silence then, and Makoto wondered what it would be like to have a child. Would it go by just as fast even if they aged normally? She'd heard Ikuko wishing her kids were still little. Did every mother feel that way? It was an interesting concept. Mothers must be very strong people to let their kids go when it was time. Though she thought it might be even harder for dads, mostly because they didn't talk about it as much. She'd seen the way Kenji watched Usagi, his eyes filled with a strange sort of sadness even as he smiled. He didn't say anything, but he watched her and worried for her, and loved her unconditionally.
It made her wonder how Mamoru was feeling.
Mamoru stood in the doorway to Shingo's room, watching the boys sleep. The television was still on, playing an old movie and the light reflected on the faces of the four teenagers on the floor. Shingo was on his bed, one leg sticking over the edge, the sheets wrapped around his torso, looking rather uncomfortable, though by his soft snores he was out completely.
It was the others Mamoru couldn't stop watching. They were growing very quickly. He wasn't sure when, but he thought sometime in the next day or so the rapid aging would stop and he would have his men-in-arms back. A little voice said he would rather have four rambunctious boys running underfoot causing trouble, but he pushed it away. The boys needed to grow up, and they needed the girls, who also needed them.
With a sad sigh, he moved quietly into the room and stopped the movie, then turned off the television before exiting the room. Only time would tell what happened, not just to the boys, but to all of them.
He made his way to the room he was sharing with Haruki. The other teen was becoming a close friend. He wasn't sure how he would have gotten through the last couple days without him, though he had been much quieter than he would have expected from Usagi's descriptions.
Haruki was sitting up in bed, his back against the wall as he stared at a photograph held in his lap. It had been taken when he, Usagi, and Shingo were just kids. Usagi's hair was barely to her shoulders in her little buns. Shingo was wearing footie pajamas, and Haruki had his arms wrapped around both of them and was grinning widely.
"The boys okay?" he asked, looking up as Mamoru came into the room.
"Yeah. Sleeping."
Haruki nodded. "I think someone is out there waiting for me," he said after a long moment.
"What do you mean?" Mamoru asked, curious. He hoped there was someone out there who would love Haruki the way he deserved.
"I don't know," Haruki said, his voice full of frustration. "I almost feel like someone is calling me. Like she needs me."
"Maybe she does," Mamoru said softly. "Usagi needed me, though neither of us was really aware what was happening at the time. It's why I became Tuxedo Kamen. Maybe she needs you the same way, whoever she is."
"I don't know, but I think she's lonely. I think she needs me the way you need Usagi. Does that make sense?"
"Absolutely," Mamou said. And it did. Usagi made Mamoru come to life. She brought out all the best parts of him, made him laugh and feel whole again, and gave him someone to protect, to devote himself to, to love.
If there was someone out there like him, she would need someone like Usagi, and Haruki was very much like his cousin. Smiling, happy, able to break through the shell people put up to protect themselves. He always had a kind word for people and he was great with the boys.
"We'll have to find her," Mamoru said finally. "You can't protect her until we do."
Haruki only nodded, looking through the window and out into the night. Mamoru made a silent promise that he would make certain Haruki found his soulmate, and that Shingo found his. Everyone deserved to be happy.
What the other teens didn't know was that Mamoru and Usagi had a bit of an advantage. They knew who the boys soulmates looked like. Though he wondered what they were like in this life. He knew he and Usagi were different than Endymion and Serenity. Haruki was a bit different than Lugh had been, less serious and more determined. Shingo seemed closest to his former self. Tsukiyomi had always been a bit serious and incredibly smart. Though his videogame obsession made him seem more normal.
Grinning, Mamoru climbed into the other bed. Soon, he thought, he would find Setsuna and Hotaru for the boys.
