Miami, Florida

The night of their impromptu party Santana had let Puck's words rattle around in her brain, but decided it was a bad idea to bring up such a heavy topic when they were both so drunk. The next morning Santana had a day full of business she had to attend to before her self approved vacation so by the time she got home that night Brittany was already asleep and she didn't see the point in waking her.

They both had the next day off, but it was so rare that they got a whole day to just be together, she didn't want to spoil it. They were able to sleep the morning away cuddling and spent their afternoon at a bistro feeding one another while talking about all the things they planned to do on their honeymoon. From first thing in the morning to the moment they set foot back in the house it was the most romantic day they had spent together in a long time and by that night she started to think that Puck was wrong. Sure they had never been to Canada, but they were doing fine. Granted she couldn't quite remember how the country fit into things, but recalled that he had mentioned it at some point.

Santana got ready for bed while Brittany showered and mulled over the events of the day finding peace in her decision to let things be. However when she moved to pull back the covers she saw her bracelet sitting on the nightstand and in that moment she felt her head clear. She was avoiding the hard parts again just like in Ohio. Avoidance and excuses were her go-to moves and she had been doing so well with fixing that, but they were hard habits to break. If she wanted a real future with Brittany she would have to deal with this and she knew it. This was a mandatory conversation, especially if they planned on bringing children into the mix.

She stood quietly thinking when Brittany came back in and bounced onto the bed pulling her out of her thoughts by tugging her down with her. Santana fell victim to memory erasing kisses and would have lost her resolve for good if Brittany hadn't spoken.

"Rachel called to ask how we liked the karaoke machine." She mumbled in between kisses to Santana's collarbone.

"Baby, can you never say her name while we're making out?"

"Hmmm, I guess. So she also said we should spend the day before the wedding apart." Brittany nipped at Santana's pulse point and the Latina had to fight to hold onto the topic.

"Right okay… wait whoa why?" she said scrambling away from the other woman, needing the space between them to keep her coherence.

"She said it would make it more romantic when we see each other on our wedding day. I think it would be too..."

It was there in that pause that Santana could see the hesitation in her eyes. She saw a flash of the hurt that had been so prominent in the eyes of the same blue eyed blonde in Lima, and she knew she had to press on.

"But what?"

"I just don't want to be apart from you." She said, her voice filling with false cheer in order to lighten the mood.

Santana crawled closer and placed a hand on Brittany's knee, "Tell me." She said and she knew the other woman understood her request.

"It's nothing Santana."

"You're afraid I'll leave if I'm by myself for a night?" It wasn't said with accusation or hurt, it was a question and nothing more.

"No." she said quickly, "I already told you I forgive you and-"

Santana placed her hands on the sides of Brittany's face to force eye contact, "Tell me what you're thinking. Honestly. Please."

"I, I don't think it matters. I have all kinds of things running around in my head." She said evasively and tried to slip out of Santana's hands to break the gaze.

Refusing to release her she inched closer, "It matters. I promise I won't be hurt or cry about it. I know you trust me but there is something in you that is afraid and I want you to tell me."

Brittany took Santana's hands from her face and placed them in her lap playing with her lover's palms as she spoke, "Doesn't this all seem a little familiar?" she asked quietly.

Santana gave a look of confusion prompting Brittany to continue.

"This. Everything, I mean it's in a different context but it's the same. The part where you come to me and make me believe you love me and everything can be different if I just give you a chance. Then when I do, you-" she paused to take a deep breath. "This just feels like prom waiting to happen all over again and it's the most terrifying thing I think I've ever felt."

"I'm not leaving." She said again because she wasn't going to apologize, that would only make Brittany feel the need to placate her and keep her from becoming upset. No matter what, she had to be the stronger of the two of them, at least this once.

"I know you aren't."

"You don't. You feel I won't but you think I will and you have every right to."

She shook her head, "You've been wonderful to me."

"Lately. I did something horrible in the past and there is no reason you wouldn't think I would do it again. But everything is different now, I don't care what anyone thinks about me or us. The only person who has an opinion I care about is you."

She nodded heavily obviously fighting tears, "I understand all of that."

"But it's still scary."

Brittany nodded again, "I need to let it go, but every time I try I think about how badly I was hurt last time and how devastating it would be to be totally blindsided by that again."

"And not just at the wedding. At any point in our marriage." Santana said picking up the unspoken words.

An apologetic look crossed Brittany's face as she glanced up, "You left so suddenly and so totally. I knew you may end up too scared to come out right away and I thought maybe you would want to date me and it might be a struggle to get you to tell anyone. It never occurred to me when I danced with you that you had it in you to not only turn me down, but turn your back on everything we had. It wasn't even a worst case option and I'm still mad about it. Maybe more than my family is, and I think it's part of why I got so upset at them, because they were showing me all the things inside me I was trying to bury. I have honestly forgiven you but I remember all those years of sitting up at night wondering what I did to make you totally abandon me and all the time I spent hating myself because I was sure it was something I did. After a while I got angry about it, all of it, but I still loved you. And when you came back I just wanted all the negative feelings to go away because if they came out I thought they might scare you away again and no matter how I feel about the past I want to be with you more."

Santana discovered that Brittany's simple unemotional statement of facts cut far deeper than her family's accusatory words, but she wouldn't let the other woman know that. She owed Brittany this, she owed it to her to sit and listen to what she had caused.

"You can be angry or whatever else you need to be, I want to be with you too and I'm not ever leaving you again. I promise I'll find a way to earn your trust back." She said with conviction, she had made the same promise to Brittany's other self and had managed to make major repairs on that colossal damage. She was sure she could pull off the same miracle in her own world.

"You shouldn't have to. After I agreed to marry you it should be settled, the past is done, and I have no reason to still be upset, I'm just being ridiculous and I don't know how to stop."

"You're not ridiculous, you feel how you feel and I love you regardless. We don't have to spend the night apart if it makes you nervous. I'll stay with you the whole time."

"I want to." She said resolutely her eyes suddenly burning with determination, "You won't leave, and I won't worry another second about it. I can let it go." It seemed that she wasn't even talking to Santana anymore.

Before she could reply Brittany kissed her heavily, pushing the smaller woman beneath her on the bed and Santana let her. Feeling the need to be delicate, Santana slowly removed her nightgown praising every inch of skin her fingers passed over with gentle caresses. By the time she had removed the garment she had managed to work Brittany up enough for herself to lose patience for foreplay. With loving care she brushed long blonde hair out of her lover's face and looked easily into blue eyes as she slipped two fingers inside of her.

Of the reactions she had expected, Brittany bursting into tears had not been one.

Startled and more than a little scared, she tried to pull back but Brittany held her hand still, "Don't stop." She said through her tears.

Santana was going to, despite her request, but when she looked into those eyes again she could see so much that she had missed before. All of her fear and anguish, the pain of struggling alone with these thoughts and the stress of starting a life with someone she worried may leave her forever. Santana could see all of it in her eyes and she also saw that the tears weren't from physical pain, Brittany was letting her worries go, all of them, for good. There was no safety net, she wasn't going to brace for a wakeup call, she was just going to implicitly trust the person who had wounded her so deeply before and the notion was enough to bring her to tears.

Santana kissed her deeply and gently trying to put as much reassurance as she could into it. When they broke apart Brittany looked into her eyes, tears flowing freely, "Please don't break my heart. I couldn't live through it twice."

"I won't I promise. I love you so much Brittany." She replied instantly.

Santana pulled her closer and kissed and nipped at her ear as she whispered love and comfort to her while moving her fingers slowly. As Brittany's breathing grew more erratic and ragged she moved faster within her, wondering how in the hell had she ever been lucky enough to find someone this loving. More importantly how she had been allowed a second chance with her after foolishly throwing the first one away. Brittany was handing her the power to utterly destroy her, and Santana knew she would rather die than betray that trust.

Moving faster she made Brittany a panting gasping mess and when she came, her walls clenched so tightly around Santana's fingers she could barely move them. The blonde's hands fisted clumps of the bed sheets as her voice was lost in them as Santana brought her slowly down off her high.

Going limp, Brittany did her best to move off Santana but couldn't as the smaller woman held her in place, so she lay there in Santana's arms until she felt strong enough to move on her own. She tried to give Santana her own release but was prevented, stopped by strong sure hands, and before she could protest she heard her smooth voice in her ear.

"I'm fine Britt. Go to sleep."

"I would, but I don't want to crush you." She laughed wearily.

"You won't, trust me."

"I do trust you." Brittany said, her eyes suddenly deathly serious.

Santana smiled back at her, "I know." She said pulling her closer and yanking the comforter over both of them.


The next morning was full of alternating between slow languid kisses and holding each other in a silence that the two of them easily communicated through, though in between those moments Brittany had repaid Santana in kind for the previous night. They both had prior engagements that they called out of so they could have the morning alone together, and though they had slept in the previous morning this time was totally different. There was a warming peace that hadn't been present the first time. Santana could read Brittany so much easier now that there wasn't a grey cloud of insecurity masking most of her feelings. For the first time she felt they had emotionally surpassed their previous relationship, they were madly in love and there was no more uncertainty about their future together.

Looking over at the nightstand Santana saw her bracelet once again and a fond smile spread over her face. Knowing now was as good a time as any she spun around in Brittany's arms and placed a tender kiss on the bridge of her nose.

"Hey Britt-Britt?"

"Yeah?" she replied sleepily, nuzzling into Santana's chest.

"I was wondering… when do you think we should start a family? I know you want to wait until after the show finishes its run, but how long after?"

Brittany laughed and held Santana closer to her, "We haven't even had the wedding rehearsal yet and you want to talk about kids?"

"You think it's too soon?" she asked already berating herself for pushing too much again.

Looking up into her worried brown eyes, Brittany shook her head, "Not at all, I'm sort of surprised you want children so much."

"It sort of surprised me too." She said honestly.

Shifting their position so that Santana was laying partially on top of her, Brittany began to busy her hands straightening Santana's sex hair, "Well I suppose after the play is over it'll be reasonable for me to take some time off. And knowing this far in advance will let me give Mike a head's up and we can look for someone to replace me for a while. Unless you wanted to have the baby." She said suddenly realizing that she had been making a rather serious assumption.

Shaking her head she smiled unable to contain her joy at seeing her dream come true, "I would love for you to have our baby."

Brittany smiled back, "You know I would love that for you too."

Santana stared blankly for a second, "You would?"

"Definitely."

"But… wait really?" It was baffling to her to figure out how this part of her life had changed, the other Brittany had seemed so content to have all of their children. When they had been planning for their third, the idea of Santana having it never even came up. Though it was possible for her other self to have already had a discussion with her on the subject it had just been her assumption that in Ohio Brittany had wanted to have all the kids.

"Yes, why is that hard to believe?" she laughed.

"I don't know, I never thought about it." And she hadn't. Her entire fixation was getting everything as close to her Ohio life as she could, a variation in the plan on this scale was a little nerve wracking.

Seeing her reluctance, Brittany kissed her gently to regain her attention, "I do want to have our first, but think about it for the future?"

"I can do that."


Where the morning had been spent with them together loving each other alone in the privacy of their bedroom, the afternoon held no such pleasures. They had to struggle to pull themselves out of bed and dress quickly to make it to their wedding rehearsal, one that had been pushed to later in the day to accommodate for all the meetings and appointments that neither had gone to.

As soon as they arrived, they were separated by the chaos of their upcoming ceremony. Brittany was swept away by the wedding planner who had several last minute questions and finalizations. Santana had tried to follow but her mother had gotten ahold of her and made her greet several cousins who had somehow been invited. Afterwards, Puck had shown her around the chapel which was decorated in a pretty standard fashion. Santana had been expecting something wild given Brittany's particular tastes in decorations, but it was all quite normal, though far more up to date and colorful than the Hummel wedding had been.

It wasn't until she saw the reception area that she was able to figure out where all of Brittany's attentions had gone. The room was set up with an indefinable theme that was a mix between tropical and disco, and not in a bad way. The dance floor was, of course, the focal point of the room and was comprised of plexiglas over white squares of light that reminded her of the dance floor from Saturday Night Fever. In between the brightly clothed tables were palm trees with lights hanging between them lighting the room with a multicolored glow. Everything was still being set up, but Santana could tell the room would be a sight to behold once it was done. She could also tell she was going to be forced to dance whether she liked it or not.

By the end of the tour and the rehearsal it was late afternoon and Santana was worn out, she had immediately gone to look for Brittany, but couldn't find her anywhere. Since she was unable to find her fiancée she opted to look for Puck to recruit him in her search but couldn't find him either. After questioning several people who hadn't seen them she began to worry. However moments later she received a text that relieved her at first, and frustrated her immediately afterwards.

Staying with Puck until the wedding, see you at the altar ;) – Britt-Britt

Her mouth opened and closed pointlessly at her phone before she scrambled to call the other woman only to end up with her voicemail every time. Failing that, she called Puck who thankfully picked up on the first ring.

"You got Puck."

"Tell Brittany to answer her phone." She said ignoring his ridiculous intro.

She could hear her fiancée's voice in the background which was followed by Puck saying, "She can't, it would defeat the purpose of splitting up."

"Talking to each other isn't the same as seeing each other."

She heard him repeat her words and get a reply, "Rachel said no contact."

"I am going to murder that fuzzy toed hobbit!" she snapped, "And don't repeat that!"

"Doesn't matter, you yelled loud enough so she heard it anyway and she says you won't do any such thing because Rachel has been very nice to both of you." He sounded like a child being forced to relay messages between parents.

"Tell her she could have at least said goodbye!"

"She says she sent a text."

"After I spent thirty minutes looking for her!"

The pause was longer than usual and she heard a lot of back and forth between Brittany and Puck before he spoke again, "She says she's sorry and will make it up to you later. The tone implies something sex related and I asked for her to be more detailed about the apology, but got nothing."

Santana couldn't fight the smile on her face, "Tell her I love her and I miss her already."

He did and she could imagine Brittany's face and the way her eyes sparkled every time she told her, "You owe me for the sappy stuff."

"Consider it a lesson on how not to be a d-bag to a lady Puckerman." She said and he gave a chuckle in response.

"Whatever, but if you get horny or something I would be more than happy to help you guys with a little phone sex."

"I'm going to tell Quinn you said that."

"I was kidding!" he yelped.

Santana laughed a true and hard laugh at the immediate urgency of his response.


Since the day had been tiring once Santana got home she flopped directly onto the bed fell right to sleep. The sleep allowed her to black out and have nothing on her mind, but when she woke early the next morning, every moment was filled with thoughts of a blue eyed blonde that wasn't there and the nervousness that came naturally with a momentous occasions such as marriage. Yet without sleep as a buffer seconds dragged out into days and after about thirty minutes Santana thought she might go insane.

To distract herself she spent the better part of the day out at the gym and once she returned, started in on all the work she had put aside to be dealt with once she came back from her honeymoon. After she had finished all that could be dealt with she lay on the couch and watched television. At least she did until she realized all she was doing was staring at a screen and wishing Brittany was there with her.

Deciding not to mope around she grabbed her coat and drove until she found a Waffle House. Since Brittany preferred IHOP it had been a long time since she had been, making it a perfect place to avoid wallowing over the other woman's absence.

Her waitress was a redhead who smiled at her a little too eagerly for her own liking. She ordered a steak and egg platter and waited patiently as the woman returned far more than was ever necessary to see if her Sprite needed a refill. Santana resolved to remain pleasant as she was probably working double time for her tip, but when her food came there was a lingering touch that made her brow furrow. She turned to say something to the girl and realized for the first time how much younger than her she was.

The words she was going to say died on her lips and they just stared at each other in a way that Santana was quite sure should have been inappropriate but somehow it wasn't.

"You look pretty stressed." The girl said, her voice was light and airy.

"I'm getting married tomorrow."

Her eyes widened slightly, "That is one lucky man."

"Woman actually." She didn't know why she was having this conversation, her brain was running down the checklist of all the ways she could and should have ended the conversation by now.

"So what are you doing here alone?"

"Trying not to think about her." She answered, and now her head was absolutely blaring with alarm.

Why in the hell had she said that, and in that way? It made no sense, she wasn't interested in this kid and even if she were for some bizarre reason there was no way in hell anything would happen between them.

"I get off in fifteen minutes. What if you finish your food then I help you forget?" she asked, her tone left no room for mistaking her intent.

"I'd like that." The words could not have possibly have come out of her mouth because they were so far from making sense.

While she ate, her insides raged furiously at her behavior and she vowed that the moment the waitress approached again she would set her straight, but several Sprite refills later it hadn't happened. And when she paid her bill, tipping generously, they left together with her still not having said a word, reproachful or otherwise.

They drove off in Santana's car to her house, talking casually the whole way there about how nice it was to live in Florida. A conversation she was only half invested in because she was too busy wigging out internally as to why in the hell she was taking this person to her home.

It was like they were old friends by the time they made it back to her place and they stayed up most of the night continuing to talk, even if the talk was a little flirtatious. Santana was still having a meltdown, but on the upside she wasn't depressed anymore.

It was her assumption that they had talked well into the small hours of the morning because when she woke the next day she couldn't remember going to bed. Opening her eyes she saw she was in her own bed and when she turned around she found the waitress was there as well. Shocked Santana scrambled out of the bed crashing loudly to the floor. The sound woke the girl who sat up startled and looked over to where she had fallen.

"You alright?" she asked through a yawn.

"No!" Santana yelled already starting to get dizzy from the rapid breaths she was taking, "What the fuck are you doing in my bed?"

The girl frowned and then her eyes widened in understanding, "Right, you're getting married today. I should go then."

She stood and Santana saw to her horror that the redhead wasn't wearing a damn thing and neither was she. A wave of nausea almost made her lose everything she had eaten the previous night on the floor.

"Wait we didn't…"

A high laugh drifted to her ears, "What? Have sex? No we just got naked and told each other ghost stories. Look I'm not going to blackmail you or anything, call last night whatever you want, but it was fun." She said and began to fish her clothes off the floor.

"Hold on, er…" Santana's jaw dropped as she realized she didn't even know this girl's name.

"Cool your jets I'm leaving I have to be back for my three o'clock shift anyway and I've already been late three times this week."

"Three o'clock." She said dryly as she glanced at her bedside clock.

It was indeed almost three. Her wedding was supposed to have started at eight that morning.

Cursing furiously, she threw on her clothes faster than the girl who had gotten a head start and flew out the door and to her car, her heart pounding furiously. She did not understand what the hell was happening. Countless theories arose in her head, everything from being in another alternate reality to being the victim of another drugging. But she stopped her speculation realizing none of it fixed the fact that she had missed the most important appointment of her life.

Her car spun into an ominously empty parking lot and was barely in park before she went tearing into church and began her frantic search for the woman who should have been her wife hours ago. She found her in the chapel sitting on the steps crying softly as her father consoled her, when she approached the sound caught his attention first. Upon seeing her he stood and advanced in a way that made her think he was going to hit her but Brittany's voice stopped him.

When the blonde stood and approached she saw all the hurt from her Ohio self mirrored and multiplied making her chest ache. She opened her mouth to say something, but what in the hell could she even say? Sorry was so far from appropriate it wasn't even funny.

As Santana struggled with her words she was surprised to be pulled into a tight hug, "I'm glad you're okay." Brittany said into her shoulder, "I thought you had gotten hurt or something."

"I'm fine but, Brittany I'm so sorry I overslept and –"

Without letting her go she leaned back and looked deep into her eyes, "It's fine. I think it might be for the best. Better this happen now then after several years of marriage and children to think about. Let's just agree that it wasn't meant to be alright?" she wasn't crying but she couldn't have looked more mortally wounded even if she started. A breakdown was quavering behind her words and Santana's heart seemed to constrict with every one.

"B-but…" she wanted to plead and argue but there was probably still a nameless chick dressing for the walk of shame from their bedroom back home. It was bad when she didn't even feel she deserved to defend herself.

"I'll always love you Santana but I can't be with you. You hurt me too much."

With that Brittany let her go and turned to leave and in that instant Santana knew she had lost her chance and everything inside her seemed to wither away. It was too painful to watch happen so she rallied all of her strength and yelled for her to come back so that she could explain, even though she couldn't. But her voice wasn't strong enough, it was distant and foreign in her own ears and totally incapable of reaching Brittany, so she yelled louder and louder until she choked on the sound.

It was at that moment Santana woke and realized she was still on her couch in her house yelling at no one. She sat up in a cold sweat and grabbed her phone frantically to find that it was midnight and her wedding was still eight hours away. Taking a deep relieved breath she flopped back down onto the couch and tried to calm her racing heart.

It had been a stupid ridiculous dream, but she had thought it was real and it made her feel far closer to a heart attack than anyone of her age had any business feeling. Unable and unwilling to fall back asleep she went to the kitchen for a glass of water to try and calm her frayed nerves. While taking long calming gulps she went to the bedroom to make sure it was devoid of any redheaded waitresses. It was obviously empty, but she checked it, the closet and the bathroom anyway out of sheer paranoia.

She knew what she needed to get back to sleep, but Brittany wasn't there and she didn't want to ruin everything by running over to her hotel in a panic. However, with the possibility of another nightmare sleep continued to elude her for another hour leaving her to decide to compromise and call Puck.

The phone rang several times before the man picked up.

"You got Puck." he said sleepily.

"Stop that. It's totally lame."

"No, you not being able to make it a whole day without your handler is lame. She's asleep anyway so no phone sex."

Santana bit her lip nervously, "I really need to talk to her."

"I can wake her up if it's an emergency-"

"No." She said not wanting Brittany to think something was wrong, "Could… could you just put the phone close to her so I can hear her breathe?" she squinted knowing that he wouldn't be able to let that go without comment.

The line was silent for a long time, "You're kidding."

"Nope."

"I don't even have words for this. I think you're making me grow ovaries with your overflow of estrogen right now."

"Please? You can give me shit for it later, but only under the condition that you don't tell her."

"Oh I will, and I want the grill I got you back, consider this your wedding present."

"Yeah, yeah, put her on."

A small bit of grumbling later and she soon heard soft even breathing on the other end, laying back into bed she put the phone on speaker, and placed it next to her. After nervously checking the alarm clock twice, she was finally able to relax and allow herself to fall into a deep dreamless sleep.


A/N: So at my old college we had this thing where even if you passed all your classes, if you didn't show up on the last day to show your portfolio you failed. Period. You do not pass go you do not collect $200. Even if your grades were stellar and your family had already flown in to see you walk and get your diploma you miss that one three hour block you fail.

The night before I was dead tired from the rigorous six month long nonstop HELL that had been putting the portfolio together but when I tried to sleep I kept having dreams that I woke up late or that my data had all been erased. I even had a dream that my computer caught on fire and woke up to find that I was still dreaming because all my printed work had been dipped in chocolate.

After that bout of Inception I just grabbed a Full Throttle and played the Sims until it was time to go. I was jittery and miserable the next day but I graduated.

The sad part was I wasn't the only person who had it happen and now I have passed the gift to Santana XP

Thank you to everyone who has fav'ed, story alerted, reviewed, pm'ed and emailed. It means a lot and keeps me going.