Chapter 12

When I find myself fading, I close my eyes and realize my friends are my energy

Possessions

Disclaimer: Criminal Minds is not mine.


The garden at the back of the bar was patchy grass and a couple of bench seats with round wooden slatted tables. The type that gave you splinters in the backs of your legs.

She sat down carefully and put her glass – a new pack of cigarettes and a book of matches on the bench.

"I'm not impressed – you realise that don't you. Why can't you get Reid to smoke for you? Why me?"

She slowly opened the pack and pulled out a cigarette. She hated them. The thought of putting it in her mouth was making her stomach crawl but there was not much she could do to stop it.

She slid it between her lips and pulled a match off the book. A quick flick and the match was lit and she was lighting up the cigarette. She inhaled deeply and filled her lungs with smoke.

She followed it with five minutes of coughing and gagging and trying not to be sick. The smoke fell on the patchy ground and burnt out.

"Damn you. I can't do this!"

She moved from the bench and sat on the grass.

"One puff nearly killed me. You want more?" She wasn't aware of the few other people who had arrived now, glancing at the strange woman who had now laid back with her knees bent talking quietly to herself.

She took another from the pack and lit another match. "I wouldn't do this for anyone you know." Muttering to herself and prepared this time to maybe not actually take any of the smoke down – but she thought that he would make her. This time though it wasn't quite as bad. Maybe the first drag before had been the kill or cure and now she was laying down it didn't make her head spin quite as much. It was still though one of the most vile experiences of her life. Well one that she was doing voluntarily anyway.

Emily swatted at the afternoon flies and when the barkeep asked if she was OK – she requested another coke and lit up again. Her mind was a million miles away. Her head hurt and she still had no idea what to do about Reid.

After three large glasses of coke and half of the cigarettes had gone she got up and visited the washrooms. She sat and pondered on what to do next. The room she had book for one more night after this but if Reid wasn't coming back by tonight she figured it just wasn't going to happen. Emily wondered if she should go and try to find out where he had gone. A few enquires at the local PD would show her where to at least start looking. Now standing washing her hands she looked up at her face in the mirror. It was smudged and grubby with dirt. The cap disguised what a mess her hair was in but it didn't cover up the rest of the dirt. She needed to go back to the car and get her flight bag and take it back to her room….then she could change out of these dirty clothes. Though no longer itchy she could do with feeling fresher.

She splashed water on her face and under the smell of the pink soap she had used she could still smell the odour from the smokes she had been puffing on. Quickly and with a new decision made she picked up the pack of cigarettes and stuck them in her shorts pocket and with the matches poked inside the box and she left the washroom.

It was a quick walk back to the car and she was getting a bit cross with herself now for hiring the bike that she wasn't using and for paying a fortune to park up her car which she was. She did an inner snarl at Reid for costing her this extra money. She doubted she would be able to put it on the BAU expenses.

The note was still under the wipers unmoved and she thus presumed that Reid was still not back….or at least hadn't seen the note. She looked around to see if she could see him anywhere but really now didn't expect to.

A sigh.

She pulled her flight bag out of the back of her SUV and walked back to the motel room with it. Firstly checking to see if anyone had asked for her. Which they hadn't. She picked out a cheese sandwich from the machine and went back to her room.

She placed the sandwich on the side cupboard and the bag on the bed. Unzipping the bag she had a look inside and chewed on her bottom lip. One by one she pulled things out. Nothing really suitable for what she felt she needed and anyway a little voice in her head was telling her she was fine as she was. A bit of sweat on a woman was good.

Angrily she swiped the things off the bed onto the floor and sat down grabbing the sandwich and drink on the way.

"Where the hell are you?" She said to the sandwich. "Why are you in my head? Who is in my head?" She rubbed at her eyes and then her temples. The headache was making her feel sick again. She reached over and looked at the pack the hospital had given her. They said take one every four hours but that just wasn't doing the job and besides she hadn't had one in a while and it was impossible to overdose on these damned things, and if this headache didn't go and let her sleep then she would probably die anyway.

She looked down at the four pills in her hand. "It won't kill you Emily, but it's a pretty stupid thing to do you know." She rolled them around on her palm. "But I am so tired. I just need to sleep so I can think straight." She picked up the bottle of coke and opened it. "You should take them with water not coke." A sigh. The pills were going down and the coke was following. "Now please let me sleep and work out what to do about Reid."

-o-o-o-

It was a few hours later that the big black SUV pulled up in the parking lot next to Emily's car. Morgan – Rossi and Hotch got out and stood looking at the car. Before they approached it Hotch was pointing things out.

"It's been here a couple of days." It was obvious that the car was parked up buy the dust on the roof and the way the bits of leaves and rubbish were slowly collecting around the tyres.

Rossi walked over to it and pulled on his latex gloves. He removed the note under the wiper blades. He read it and looked up at Hotch. "This changes things slightly." Hotch and Morgan instantly gloved up too and went to look.

"She's here with Reid?" Morgan ran his hands over his head. "What the hell is she doing here with Reid?"

Hotch was looking at the note now. "She was here with him. It looks like they got split up."

Morgan looked over at Hotch. "Did you know about this?" But he was shaking his head.

"Obviously not. We need to get to the motel and hope that Prentiss is still there and hopefully Reid will be too and this can be sorted out." He looked over at Morgan. "We are going to remain calm whatever the situation. I don't expect raised voices. Something strange is going on and has been since that encounter in the forest and since Floyd disappeared. I need to know if this is connected and shouting at each other will not get the answers we need."

"Why are you looking at me man?" Morgan ran his hands over his chest. "I'm calm."

"Good. Then let's go find Prentiss."

The motel wasn't too run down or trashy looking. The man behind the reception desk smiled when the trio entered. Hotch flashed his badge and the man instantly looked worried.

"We are looking for someone. Female. Long dark hair."

A nod. "She's been waiting for someone. Room ten."

They might not be who she as expecting but he wasn't going to argue with the Feds.

He watched them walk off and then sat down again….slightly worried for the poor woman now. Maybe he should have called her as soon as they left to warn her? But no….they were Feds. He lit up a cigarette and puffed furiously on it. At least she had already paid.

-o-o-o-

As Hotch was knocking on the door to Emily's room Spencer was laying down again facing the wall with his knees pulled up close. Behind him Ardal was wrapping himself around his new very friendly companion. He kissed Spencer gently on the back of the neck and ran his tongue along the scar.

"How did this happen?" he asked him – his hot breath made Spencer's nerve endings tingle.

"I – uh – long story."

"OK…don't want to talk about it?" The tongue running over it again.

"Not really."

"Your back is almost healed already. I thought it was real blood. It was a good effect they used."

"I guess. I heal fast."

"I'm keeping you awake. I'm sorry. Sleep. I'm here – don't you worry about nightmares." He placed a hand on Reid's chest and Spencer took hold of it in his and squeezed gently.

"Thank you."

Spencer vaguely felt the hands on him relax and he felt Ardal pull him closer and for a strange moment he felt really happy. He was sure it wouldn't last. Ardal like everyone else would leave. Everyone he ever let through his barrier left. He wasn't sure what it was about him – what it was his father saw and Gideon saw and what it was about him that made his mother ill – but he knew it was him, and now Floyd had gone too. Every time. Maybe he should reject these new feelings for this strange man now – or maybe he should do what he had learned to do and just take it as it came and enjoy it while it lasted.

He didn't sleep. He lay and looked at the wall and wondered why he was here and what they were going to do to him and he could feel the sleeping breaths of the other man and so Spencer pushed back slightly towards him to pull in just a bit more of that comforting feeling of being needed.

-o-o-o-

"Prentiss – open up!" Hotch shouted.

Silence.

He knocked again. "We're coming in!"

"Hotch." It was Dave. "She might be in the shower."

He ignored Rossi. Something was wrong. Everything was wrong. "Morgan. The door please." Hotch instructed.

A good kick and the door swung open. What they saw was not what they were expecting. Prentiss was curled up on the bed. The room looked like it had been raided by someone. There was a dreadful smell of stale cigarettes and sweat in the room. It was close and claustrophobic. Morgan just stood and looked…his heart leapt in his chest in fear. Dave was behind him and Hotch already on his way across the room.

He placed a hand on her shoulder. She was clearly breathing and her skin was warm, but she was out cold. Aaron leaned over her and pulled the cap off her head expecting her hair to cascade down. He stood for a second and just looked at her face. She was dirty and ill looking. She smelt vile and her hair looked like someone had gone at it with a chainsaw.

The others slowly walked over.

"Prentiss." Hotch shook her gently. "Emily. Wake up."

A slight murmur.

"Morgan get me some water."

Rossi was looking over the things on the floor. He picked up the cigarettes. "She smokes?" He looked at how many were gone from the pack.

Hotch looked over at Dave as he waited for Morgan. He shook his head. "No she doesn't – but she also has long hair and an impeccable dress sense so I wouldn't disregard them as being hers just yet." Morgan passed Hotch a rinsed out coke bottle with water which Aaron used to drop little bits of water onto Emily's mouth. "Wake up Prentiss." His voice sounded more than a bit worried.

There was a collective sigh when her eyes flickered open.

"Prentiss?" Hotch tried to keep his voice calm as he had requested the others did but this was becoming very hard to do. When she suddenly opened her eyes wide and let out a yelp of surprise he moved back to give her some space.

She sat up and watched the three of them watching her in return.

"Hotch! Sir – what on earth?" She looked at the others. "Oh god."

"Care to explain what's going on here?" He handed her the note which he had put in an evidence bag. "We traced your car when we couldn't get hold of you at home. What are you and Reid doing? Where is he?"

Her hands went to her head and the confusion was playing over her face. "You don't know where he is? I thought that was why you were here." She started to get up but her legs felt wobbly from the painkillers she had taken. She reached out for the cap and put it on her head. "My hair – I fell and – and needed stitches."

"What were you and Reid doing here?" The three of them were looking at the mess in the room and at the one double bed and their little stories were playing in their heads.

She started to shake her head. "Just a small road trip. He was feeling down and I was – well I had – not been feeling well and so…"

Hotch turned his back on her. "When you decide to tell me the truth go ahead."

She gestured around the room. "This – this isn't how it might look. Reid went off somewhere yesterday – no the day before. He was meant to be back but never showed up. I thought – I don't know what I thought. Everything just got so confusing."

"So you cut off your hair and started to smoke?" Hotch rounded on her again.

"We were looking for Floyd." There she'd said it. Over with. Job gone, but no more lying.

"And he was here?" Rossi was asking now.

Emily shook her head and looked down at her hands. "No he wasn't here. Look I don't know what Reid was up to, but he said he had something to do and would be back by ten in the morning….and he wasn't. I'm worried sick – I don't know where he went but I have a damned good idea and it's not somewhere I want to visit on my own."

"Keep talking Prentiss." Hotch sounded cold and more than a bit pissed off.

"He's changed a lot – since what happened. He's doing strange things. He was smoking."

Rossi showed her the cigarettes. "These are Reid's?"

A head shake again. "No – let me explain. He was smoking and acting out – said he needed to go and do something and not to follow. He was even walking differently – almost like – I don't know – it's going to sound so strange, but almost like he wasn't him. Anyway – recently since Floyd left these odd things are happening with him. I don't know what's going on. He made move on me. Quite a violent one – I had to stop him painfully. It just wasn't him."

Morgan walked over and sat on the bed next to Prentiss. "You are saying he tried to rape you?"

"No – no – not that far – but further than I was willing. Then he left – told me to get a room and not tell him where…." A shrug. "It was that night I fell and hit my head."

Hotch began talking again now. "So you say he has been doing strange things and you think you know where he might have gone? What exactly has he been doing?"

She bit on her bottom lip. "Look – I can't be sure of this – it's just a feeling. The way he was acting and talking – he pimps himself out."

"What the hell!" Morgan was on his feet. "You cannot be serious!"

"I know Floyd did it. I think he was trying to emulate him – or was being coerced to do it." She looked over at the cigarettes. "The same reason I suddenly needed to smoke when I've never done in my life and the same reason I cut my hair off. I can't explain it!"

"So Reid is missing – you have cut your hair off and started smoking and you didn't think it proper to let us know?"

She threw her hands up in defeat. "I messed up."

"Yes Prentiss you did. Get this mess cleaned up and pull yourself together. First thing in the morning I want you to go back to the office and assist Garcia in looking through the tapes. If you are well enough to pull this then you are well enough to work."

"Yes sir."

"Morgan. Stay with her will you? In case Reid or Floyd turn up."

Derek nodded and looked at the strange form of Prentiss sitting next to him. She looked so young and vulnerable. She looked like someone had taken the real Emily and replaced her with something unsure and rejected. She looked wrong.

They sat in silence as Dave and Aaron left. The door being closed locked them in the stale stench Emily had made. She looked over at Morgan and sighed.

"It made perfect sense at the time. Derek – am I losing my mind? This is complete insanity." She followed that by reaching over and picking up the cigarettes. Morgan watched her pull one from the pack and put it between her pale lips. The flick of the match and the glow on the end of the smoke and Emily was inhaling deeply. "I know I don't smoke. I can't explain my sudden urge to need to smoke forty a day." She looked at the thing in her hand and took another long drag.

-o-o-o-

Pa walked out to the woodshed.

The noises had stopped now and he wasn't even sure that is where they had been coming from but he had to check. The kids said he was dead but they tied him up. They said he was dead but they also said he was bleeding. They said his brains were all over the forest so how was he still alive. Seepage. Had to be – that and wild imaginations.

He had a torch in one hand and the shotgun over his shoulder. He pulled it round and readied it before pulling the shed door open.

The smell hit him hard. He took a step back and shone the torch in. Something in there was rotting pretty bad. There was no movement but he could see a lump under the tarpaulin. A careful step forward and he prodded it with barrel of the rifle.

Nothing.

Another step and he reached down and pulled the cover away.