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WOOOO for an update...severely rushed in celebration of my FAVORITE holiday Happy AkuRoku day GUYSSS 3
Chapter 11
Roxas P.O.V
I woke staring at the ceiling letting out a sigh as I sat looking towards the door. The nurses would be coming with my meds and breakfast soon. My eyes darted over to the analog clock, the short hand pointed at the 8 the long hand placed between the 2 and 3.
8:13
They should be here already, plus I was ready to get up and walk.
Right then the handle of the door clicked to the right creaking open.
"Good morning Roxas." she said cheerfully
I smiled brushing my bangs out of my face "Hey Juliet."
"What do you have for me today?"
"A lot...pancakes, sausages, orange juice, pills and...discharge papers."
At that moment my stomach sank.
"What do you...mean...discharge?"
"Well Roxas, you are high functioning." she said sitting the tray of food on the dresser.
"So?"
"Well...this wing is really only for more severe cases, those with actual mental disorders, but the wing where you were before is mainly for behavioral problems or milder cases...your stay here was only temporary."
My eyes dropped to the floor my mind reeling trying to make sense of all this.
"But I have school here and I take my pills and..." my voice was whining
"Oh I know Roxas..." she said placing her hand on my shoulder
"That's why were sending you back...you're doing so well."
I hung my head low. I had been in this wing for 4 months, everything was so different. Everybody left me alone I didn't have to fake any emotions any sarcastic comments, the had enrolled me back in the schooling programs and put me on anti-depressants.
Now believe me, in the beginning I fought them at every fucking turn but after the first month I stopped. Something about being sedated multiple times in a week, being restrained, crying yourself to sleep and, begging for death makes you try a new approach.
So here I am...I was starting to feel...like..well that's the past. And this present I live in has been fucked for a long time.
I sighed and forced a smile "Alright then."
She smiled back flipping her blonde hair "Alright, Oh...and they have your books and everything
packed so can finish your work back in the other wing."
"...great."
I laid back down as she exited feeling completely hopeless. My mind was swarmed with thoughts of all the things I have left behind when I came over here but one stood out in particular.
Axel.
A few hours later I had just finished picking at my lunch, I hadn't had much of an appetite all that day when the attendees came in.
"Roxas, we got you all packed up. Ready to go?"
I felt the nausea setting in at the thought of going back but nodded anyway. The wings were connected via extended hallways with key-card lock. My personal nurse Juliet walked beside me as the male attendee pushed all my personal belongings. I could feel the anxiety building in my stomach as she unlocked the first door with a swipe walking down the endless corridor
Yeah. Endless. I wish...then we'd never get there.
Upon approaching the second door my nausea got the best of me I cupped my hand to my mouth trying to hold it down, ineffectively of course. I turned my head away from her discarding my lunch on the floor. The two attendees stepped back quickly trying to avoid being hit.
"Oh my god Roxas!"
I stood there bent over at the waist feeling...truthfully relieved.
"Are you okay?" asked the other attendee.
I hate that question.
I nodded and stood there a while longer while the male escaped to go find a custodian.
She leaned back looking back at me "Nerves got to you?"
I stood up brushing back my hair "...shut up."
She leaned back raising an eyebrow. "That's a little harsh don't you think?"
I felt myself just getting angrier and angrier, I didn't want to go back. Four months of doing what they wanted and for what? For what fucking reason?
"Roxas..."
"Shut. Up." I said firmly standing up straight. "You're sending me back, you're not my nurse. Keep the fucking books, keep the fucking pills. I'm done"
Her face went blank and her smile shrunk into a thin line.
"Fine." she said flatly swiping the key card "they'll bring the remainder of your belongings after wards"
And just that fast everything I had worked for was quickly unraveling
I bit the inside of my cheek fighting back my apologetic words.
I entered the wing through the cafeteria, I expected to feel something, anxious, angry, scared...something
but honestly I was completely and totally numb. Void of all feeling. And from there things just got worse.
Namine.
In a split I felt blue meet blue and before I knew it, before anything could even process.
I ran.
Everything I had gained, everything I had try to forget. In a single instance came flooding back and so I ran from it, back to my old room slamming the door behind me breathing heavily try not to cry. I didnt even know why I felt so panicked but I did. I wanted to hide and be safe from things I was trying to avoid but then the problem came storming through the door
Axel
"Roxas?" his voice went up showing his surprise and at this moment I was quite literally backed into a corner...the one behind the door why he stood there with complete and utter confusion on his face.
Why was this happening?
I watched as his confusion softened into content. "Roxas..."
I swallowed hard, my breathing returning to normal. "Yeah."
"I ugh..." his emerald eyes dropped I didnt remember him looking this good
"You?"
"...ugh..mi-missed you" he said looking backing up
Seriously, those eyes could kill.
"Oh..." I said brushing bag my shaggy bangs
"Yeah..."
Then we just stood there. Silence. God I wanted to go back. I wanted to be anywhere but here
"Did you miss me?"
Of course he had to ask me that. How simply I could have lied...should have lied...but instead I said
"...Yeah."
More silence
"Oh..."
"Roxas, are we gonna talk or no..."
When did he get so direct.
I coughed lightly clearing my throat "Yeah sure..."
The panic started creeping back up as he walked pass me sitting on the bed.
"Are you gonna come over here?" there was an edge of annoyance in his voice
I had lost all my fight and instead of arguing I just walked over sitting on the bed across from him.
"Roxas...I know it seems like...forever ago but at some point me and you had something..."
"Axel-"
"And I just wanna know...what happens now..you're back."
I did not want to have this conversation.
I shook my head
"Bullshit."
I shook my head
"What the hell Roxas you lie, you fight me you kiss me you get transferred you come back-
"Not of my own free will!" I yelled standing "I didn't want to come back to this any of this, the drama the bullshit."
"So then nothing" he said standing "Nothing happens me and you we don't matter"
And now...now I started crying "Thats bullshit! We'll never be nothing cause we play a fucked up game Axel but you don't want me..."
His face smoothed over "Why would you say that?" he said calmly
"Because" I yelled hating the sound of my own whiny weak voice.
Amazing how quickly we change.
"Cause...Im fucked up kay Axel? You know what...move." with that I pushed pass him beelining for the door...or at least I tried before he grabbed my wrist. His hand was burning against my skin. He felt like he as on fire.
"Sit."
When a voice like that tells you to sit, if you don't listen your body will. I felt myself get weak.
When the fuck did I become this person?
I sat down on the floor staring up at him and watched as he slowly sat down in front of me.
"Let me tell you something Roxas...you don't know what fucked up is. Fucked up is running away from home, running away from parents you can't stand...and running to the Marines. I was so sure of myself I knew that I was tall enough, strong enough, smart enough I could join the marines no problem. And I was right about that...the getting in for me was easy I passed the physical entrance exams at the highest in my group."
He stopped, a smile spread across his face
"Almost the top of my group, the only person better than me was this one little guy. He was a shrimp...
5' 6" maybe 130lbs tops"
I pouted "Thats not a shrimp"
He laughed "Yeah says you.."
"Any way...he was the only competition I had and I hated him...that day but after me and him became best friends and when we got in we were roommates when we had our training we were always together. But we were cocky and full ourselves and so our corpral gave the two of us hell, but it was more than that...he hated us. Why? Damned if I fucking know, but he did. He called me every name in the book but his favorite...bitch."
I looked down as the pieces started coming together
"Stupid bitch, fucking bitch, lazy bitch, faggot bitch..."
He chuckled lightly "The last one especially"
"But we would laugh about it...mock him...it was how we made it through. And then...things changed. He would be out late and how wouldn't talk to me we started arguing...and suddenly I was the only faggot bitch...our corpral left him alone. I couldn't understand it...till one night I stumbled in on..."
He stopped looking at the floor
"Axel?"
He swallowed hard "I walked in to the artillery room and I could hear...I could hear Ventus screaming...like somebody was killing him"
He ground his teeth, tears filling his eyes.
"And when they saw me our corpral pushed him down and Ventus looked like he wanted to die."
He took a deep breath tears falling down his cheeks "If I had known I wanted to do something...say something...anything. Those screams...Roxas they haunt me. And he looked...so much like you."
His voice dropping to almost a whisper
"And that day you cried...I saw him all over again. I heard his cries all over..that Roxas...that is fucked up."
And so here we were again. Face to face.
"So if that doesn't send you running..."
He was giving me every opportunity to move...to leave anything. But I didn't. And as soon as his lips touched mine everything that happened melted away.
Everything was Axel. And nothing hurt.
A/N: Lotsssss of loose ends that Im gonna fix next chapter PROMISE
Hope you liked it at least a little
