I admit, these last two chapters haven't been exactly very adventurous. Chapter 9 was a bit of a filler in my opinion, and Chapter 10 seemed to keep very safely in the same vein as Chapters 1-7.

Well, I'm going to be more adventurous.

I'm going to push it up a few notches.

A.I – Alternate Incarceration is going all professional-like. Starting now.

I seem to have my 'persistent' head on at the moment…

… You have been warned.

DISCLAIMER: Death Note is property of somebody else. No matter how much I wish otherwise.

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Chapter Eleven: Popularity

Light's mobile phone rattled noisily across the table. L glowered in its direction.

It was ringing. Again.

It was also disturbing Belgian chocolates. Again.

He rolled his eyes, sighed to himself, and plucked another chocolate from the box.

Popping it from its wrapper, L slowly rolled the chocolate into his mouth with his tongue. He sat and watched scornfully until the phone finally ceased to move.

The seventh call this morning. Light certainly was a popular young man.

"Mi…"

Light's words were yet again lost as another torrent of seawater drenched him.

"Misa, cou…"

"Isn't this fun, Light?" Misa giggled. "You should splash me next – if you can!" She raised her arms and slammed them back down into the water.

Light sighed, and wiped his now dripping hair from his eyes. "Fine… I'll splash you, then." Half-heartedly, he pushed his hands through the water and sent a shallow wave in her direction.

The wave hit. It barely even got her shoulders wet.

"Augh!! You splashed me!!" she shrieked in horror. "That's so MEAN!!"

"But you were the one tha…" Light managed, before he was yet again engulfed in water. As so often with Misa, he assumed that any attempt of arguing would be almost completely futile. He stood still for a few moments longer until he was sure that she was finished.

"Are you ready to say sor…" she paused, looked up at him, and gasped. "OH NO!! YOUR EYE!!"

His makeup had washed off from around his eye, now baring the shining purple bruise for all to see. Of course, he had seen this one coming. He had, in fact, even told Misa that splashing about in the sea wasn't a good idea for that very reason.

"Yes, Misa. Perhaps you should stop dowsing me with water for a little while now."

"Hmm… Yeah. I guess we should get you back on the beach, huh?" she linked arms with Light, and began wading back inland.

"… So," said Light as they set foot on dry sand, "can I make a suggestion what we can do this time?"

Misa looked a little confused. "Sure. Misa is always happy to listen to what Light has to say!"

He stared into middle distance for a short while, then spoke again. "… I would like to start finding a date for L. After all, the beach is a prime place to find an intelligent and valuable partner," he smiled a little at this, "so I imagine that finding a potential girlfriend even for somebody like L wouldn't be too hard."

"Looking for a girlfriend for L?" she pulled a face. "Aw, but doesn't Light want to do something more fun? L is so weird…"

"It would make me happy if we did," Light said, donning his most piteous expression.

"Well… okay then. If it makes Light happy, Misa will get L a girlfriend," she sighed, wrapping her arms around him and giggling at near nakedness she felt whilst doing so. "Anyway, it gives me a chance to show off my AWESOME matchmaking skills!!"

The familiar buzz of the mobile phone vibrating on the wooden tabletop shattered the silence.

L continued with his chocolates. The eighth phone call.

"We really should answer that, L," called Watari from amongst a small mound of papers and dossiers. "After all, it is somebody else's phone. Someone may desperately need Light for something."

L chewed the chocolate in his mouth slowly, and finally swallowed. "That is true, Watari. There is every possibility that someone may be calling Light-kun for an urgent reason. Of course if it were a desperate need, as you state, I imagine the individual would either be able to contact somebody else to help them; or, if the situation called for him specifically, they would be able to contact somebody who knows him – and so on, until eventually the information would arrive at Soichiro Yagami. He would contact me, knowing that his son has sent a message to me this morning, and I would be able to put him in contact with Light-kun."

"Pardon me, but that sounds rather like you just can't be bothered answering young Yagami's phone."

"That is also true, Watari," said L, his fingers returning to the chocolate box. "I commend the use of your exceptional reasoning abilities."

Watari smiled a little. "You are being just a little cruel to him, you know. He is your friend, after all. Maybe you should cut him some slack every once in a while."

"No," L took another chocolate. "I think it would be best for the both of us if I were to continue. After all, Light-kun and I both work best under a certain amount of pressure. An adequate opponent provides a challenge, and challenges require effort."

"Such as with Mello and Near back at the orphanage. Which reminds me –"

"No, Watari, I have not," said L, narrowing his eyes. "This conversation is slowing our productivity. Let's return to work."

Watari shrugged, and returned to his dossiers.

L carefully unwrapped the next chocolate.

"Hi there! I'm Misa Misa – pleased to meet you!" She extended a small hand, which the puzzled bikini-clad girl shook a little hesitantly.

"Like, um, hi. I, like, totally saw you in the InRock top model polls. Weren't you, like, eleventh or something?" said the girl.

"Sixth…" Misa growled. "But, erm, that doesn't matter – Misa needs to ask you a question! Will you answer Misa's question? Please?"

"Erm… uh, yeah, that's, like, totally okay. I'm so not doing anything at the moment. So, like, yeah. Okay." She looked over at Light, who was standing behind Misa, and gave him an approving once-over glance even despite his black eye.

Misa didn't seem to notice this, as she was probably far too caught up in the fact that somebody had actually agreed to give her the time of day. The last two girls they had encountered had completely ignored her and had started chatting up Light from the off. Misa had, of course, reprimanded them both with a swift kicking. Evidently this particular girl had been watching the others, and had somehow had enough brain power to learn from her predecessor's mistakes.

"Well, I have this friend, you see – and he's a bit lonely. I want to get him a girlfriend, and I was just wondering whether you'd be interested?" Misa asked hopefully. "He's a bit weird, and a bit of a pervert sometimes, and he eats sweets all the time and has black rings around his eyes… and he walks all slouchy and sits in a really weird way… and he hangs around with this old guy, and sometimes I think he likes boys because he wants to be with my boyfriend so much… but maybe you could like him… Please?"

"He totally doesn't look that bad to me!" said the girl, smirking in Light's direction.

Light wrinkled his nose as her horse-like teeth were bared. He began to doubt that even getting revenge on L would be worth spending much longer with this thing.

"But my friend isn't here…" said Misa, a little taken aback by this remark. "Unless he followed Misa and Light here!" She looked around them to see if L had somehow hidden himself in a sand-dune, and shook her head. "Nope, he definitely isn't here."

Light coughed politely. "Misa, I think that perhaps that might have been her attempt at coming onto me."

"WHAAAT!?" she shrieked, and promptly lunged at the girl. The three of them were sent sprawling onto the floor, and sand was flying as Misa clawed wildly. "LIGHT IS MISA'S BOYFRIEND!! LIGHT LOVES MISA!! LIGHT WOULDN'T EVER LOVE YOU, YOU… SLUT!! YOU BITCH!! RAAAH!!"

Trying to get himself into a comfortable sitting position as the catfight ensued, Light worried a little for the girl's safety. Evidently the repeated threat of other women trying to steal away her boyfriend had taken its toll on Misa.

He mused on this. Of course, with the bimbos around here as competition, Misa really had nothing to worry about: if he were even given a choice, he would choose her every time. Yes, she was an absolute pain, and since yesterday afternoon his luck had gone from bad to worse; but at least she had something that vaguely resembled intelligence. Sometimes, he noticed with slight surprise, she could even be rather resourceful.

Though this was straying from the point. The purpose of talking to all of these women was to find a prospective partner for L. Someone who would truly irritate the detective. And for that, he would need to find someone who irritated him – preferably even more than Misa did. They would have to continue their search.

Light noticed what appeared to be blood coming from the girl's nose. Perhaps they would continue their search later…

"Misa," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "I think you've proven that you love me more than she does now."

Misa slowed to a halt, and sighed deeply. Light noticed that, indeed, she had done quite a bit of damage to the girl's face. Not that it made much difference, considering the ugly excuse she had to begin with.

"Why don't we just go and do something nice and calm? Like… sunbathe for a while? I'll buy you some ice cream if you like."

"Okay, Light, my darling boyfriend," she said, smiling evilly at the girl, who whimpered in reply. "Misa's all done now. Misa doesn't need to spend any more time with this bitch."

Light helped her to her feet, and ushered her away from the potential crime scene by putting an arm around her shoulder. If this was the way she was going to deal with any girl with interest in him, he would have to think of a different way of finding L a girlfriend. Preferably one which didn't end in a bloodbath.

A mobile phone began to ring.

For once, it wasn't Light Yagami's.

It was Watari's.

He raised it to his ear. "Hello?"

"Watari? This is Touta Matsuda. Of the NPA. Erm… calling."

He raised an eyebrow at this. "Yes. And…?"

"Oh. Yeah. The chief wanted me to call you."

"… Concerning…?"

"What? Oh, I get it! Yeah, it's about the connection. We can't talk to L."

"Oh, yes," said Watari. "Unfortunately, he's had to sever all communications to his computer for a short time. We've had a breakthrough concerning the current case."

"Really!? Wow, L really is good, isn't he?" Matsuda laughed. "What kind of breakthrough? Has he found the hostages or something? Or is it top secret? I promise I won't tell ANYONE if you tell…"

Watari coughed. "Why did Mr. Yagami want to contact L? I can keep a message for him you'd like."

"Oh. Yeah. The chief wanted to ask why Light wasn't answering his phone. He's been getting phone calls about Light all morning! I wish I was as popular as that… and Light's so good with the ladies too…"

Watari coughed again.

"Oh. Sorry."

"I will answer Mr. Yagami's query for you: Light's phone has been confiscated. L believes," he rolled his eyes, "that someone may be tampering with it. Tell Mr. Yagami that I will get him in contact with his son as soon as possible."

"Thanks, Watari! I'll do that then."

There was a pause, and then Matsuda's voice returned.

"So, has Misa really done anything to Light?"

Watari sighed. "Yes. They're handcuffed to one another."

"Ooh! I mean… erm… Wow! Erm… I see! That's a little… kinky, wouldn't you say?"

Watari politely put the phone down.

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Author's Note: Quite a good chapter, after I cut it into place. At least, that's what I think. To be honest, I was a little worried about this one because it was going to have two simultaneous storylines, but I think it works… eventually.

I must say that my favourite part of this chapter is Watari. He's a fantastic character who a lot of fan fiction writers seem to overlook somehow. In fact, I think he's so good I may even consider dedicating this very chapter to him.

Insurmountable thanks once again to the readers and reviewers. I'm still willing to take suggestions of further… ventures for Light and Misa to experience: currently, I'm grappling with the ideas posed to me of Light having to go to college, and Misa having to do a modelling shoot. Expect one or both of these to pop up in a couple of chapters.

And now, for fear of going on too long here, I shall draw my author's note to a close.

Stay tuned.

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A.I – ALTERNATE INCARCERATION

CHAPTER 11

DEDICATED TO THE FICTIONAL LIFE AND WORKS OF QUILLSH 'WATARI' WAMMY

"He only said a few things ever"