AN: Please enjoy the chapter.
Disclaimer: The characters from Friends do not belong to me.
Today it all became clearer; today she felt better knowing she had made it over a huge obstacle.
Even her busy day at work couldn't halt her new upbeat outlook. It was like reaching the finish line of a marathon. Now she had to deal with her burning muscles and breathless lungs.
Rachel was happy, happy her secret was finally out in the open. Yet, she still spent a small amount of her day worrying about the next conversation she would have to have with Ross. Even with the truth revealed there was plenty to deal with.
She wanted to know the thoughts in Ross' mind. She knew where she stood in this situation, but Ross was a mystery. She did only tell him this morning, but the only way to know his thoughts was to talk to him.
He had a lot on his plate ranging from their baby to Mona. Rachel just wanted to know how they could fit all these pieces into their complicated puzzle.
Rachel climbed the familiar staircase, returning from work after a busy day. There was one more flight of stairs before she reached the corridor between apartments 19 and 20. She knew every knot in the brown wood, every spot where the boards creaked; each step brought her closer to the comforts of home.
The forest green door with the brass number 20 posted on its surface greeted her. She twisted the brass doorknob and crossed the threshold of the apartment.
The sight within the purple walls could only be described as organized chaos; Monica and Chandler seemed to be undertaking some last-minute packing. They were almost ready to leave for their honeymoon the next morning.
"Hey Rach," Chandler greeted, when he noticed Rachel enter.
"Having fun?" Rachel inquired, as she witnessed Chandler zipping up a bag.
"Well you know Monica… at least she's having fun," Chandler quipped.
"That's it, we're ready to go," Monica exclaimed, as she brought one last suitcase into the living room. "Good day at work, Rach?" Monica asked when she noticed Rachel had arrived.
"Yeah, I guess it was good… I told Ross today," Rachel said, nonchalantly. Monica nearly dropped the suitcase she held.
"You did? How? When?" Monica asked, as her voice escaladed to a shrill pitch.
"What?" Chandler questioned, feeling completely lost. Rachel saw a puzzled expression furrow his brow.
"I guess there's no need to keep it a secret anymore…" Rachel stated, before looking at Chandler intensely. "I'm pregnant."
"What?" Chandler asked again, his shocked tone almost as high-pitched as his wife's.
"What's going on?" Joey suddenly piped in; he drifted into the apartment to hear Chandler's reaction.
"Rachel's pregnant," Chandler revealed. It burst out of him uncontrollably.
"No way," Joey answered, finding it hard to believe Chandler. But when he turned to Rachel she nodded, confirming that Chandler was indeed telling the truth.
"Does Phoebe know?" Joey asked, after noticing her absence.
"Yes," Monica answered, on Rachel's behalf.
"Ross is the father, and I told him today," Rachel explained. She paid no attention to Chandler and Joey's shock, and continued speaking. "I was having coffee in Central Perk, he came in with Mona and we found a moment alone to talk."
"What did he do when you told him?" Monica asked with deep interest, a silence fell over the men as they quietly listened.
"He didn't say anything really. Then Mona came and interrupted," Rachel exposed, opening the flood gates. "I don't know what he's going to choose to do, he's so happy with Mona. I might end up doing this alone," Rachel explained, blinking back the tears that stung her eyes.
"Rach, you will never be alone. You have us," Joey declared. He then stepped closer to her, taking her hand in both of his and patting them comfortingly.
"He'll come around. Just give him time to let it sink in," Monica added.
"And if worse comes to worse, Joey and I will talk to him," Chandler stated, receiving a nod from Joey in agreement. Rachel couldn't stop her tears from trickling down her cheeks.
"Thank you," Rachel spoke. "I think I'm going to get some sleep and forget about this for a while."
"Alright Rach, we'll try to keep it down out here," Monica stated, but Rachel turned to her.
"I actually think I'll go back home, I'm thoroughly healed. Plus you are going on your honeymoon tomorrow, it doesn't make sense to stay," Rachel explained softly, speaking mostly to Monica.
"I'm happy to have you back," Joey commented. He then pulled Rachel into a gentle hug. All felt the same sensation, overjoyed that Rachel was well enough to go home.
…..
The next morning Rachel was surrounded by the neutral walls of her office. It was meant to be a calming colour; however, it did nothing to make her any less stressed.
It was nearly silent in her office. It was unsettling that the only sound came from the scratching of her pen across paper or the click of her keyboard as she typed.
This presentation needed to be finished; it was to be presented next week. Still, no matter how hard Rachel tried to concentrate on what she needed to get done, her thoughts would serve as a relentless distraction.
Rachel gripped the arms of her chair, watching the fabric covered foam contract under the pressure of her hands. She sat back in her desk chair, sighing in frustration. When she looked down at the pile of papers scattered across the desktop it only reminded her of how much she needed to do.
She hoisted herself out of the chair, sending it slowly rolling backwards. She paced to her window, knowing what an animal must undergo when trapped in a small cage.
It was beginning to appear that she wouldn't get any work done without talking to Ross again. Ross was her friend, it shouldn't be this hard.
She parted the horizontal blinds that hung against the wall of glass. The city was alive outside the confines of her office. Taxis painted the streets in a sea of bright yellow, pedestrians crossed at intersections looking like ants from her point of view. Seeing the cabs gave her an idea.
A decision was made and Rachel wanted to act on it before she lost her nerve. She let the blinds slip from her fingers, so she could turn and examine the clock.
Rachel grabbed her purse from a chair that sat against the wall. She slung it over her shoulder and reached for the doorknob.
"I'm taking my lunch break," Rachel told her assistant, who sat at a desk outside her office.
…..
The hallways were difficult to navigate; Rachel didn't know where to find him. All of the hallways began to look the same; the same chair rail running along the walls, the same drab colours were solely interrupted by doorways.
She only had the time designated for her lunch break and the cab ride over had taken longer than expected. So, when she approached a group of men she knew she needed to ask for directions. They looked like stereotypical professors, all dressed in suits, chatting in the New York University hallway.
"Excuse me. Do you know where I can find Professor Ross Geller?" Rachel asked, interrupting the men's conversation.
"He's probably in his office. Just go down that hall, his name is on the door," One of the men replied, pointing in the direction Rachel needed to travel.
"Thanks," Rachel exhaled, before heading in the right direction.
She figured this was the only way to talk to Ross alone. She only had a limited amount of time, but there most likely would be no disruptions.
Finally Room 29 had black letters reading Professor Geller. Rachel tried to look through the frosted glass that was set in the grey door, but only undecipherable smudges of colour met her eyes. Her heart was pounding hard enough to hear it in her ears, she had to breathe the nerves away.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the door, Ross sat in his black, leather desk chair. He mechanically graded papers prior to his next lecture.
He was broken out of his trance by a knock on his door. It was like hearing clearly after being underwater; it broke his silent moment of concentration.
"Yes, come in," Ross called, out of habit. He straightened up in his chair to greet his visitor.
Ross did a double take before accepting that it was actually Rachel entering his office. She peaked around the door in a nervous state.
"Hi Ross," Rachel said, "I hope this isn't a bad time."
"No, no, please come in," Ross said, gesturing to the chair across his desk.
Rachel examined the blue walls and dinosaur-themed décor, as she took a seat in the leather armchair, with wood armrests. She glanced at the framed degrees behind his head as Ross just watched her. He was still in disbelief that Rachel was in his NYU office.
"What brings you here?" Ross asked, drawing Rachel's gaze back to him.
"I'm sorry to intrude like this, but I just need to talk to you," Rachel admitted, sounding a little more vulnerable than usual.
"You're not intruding," Ross said, confidently.
"I want to apologise for springing that news on you yesterday, at the coffeehouse of all places," Rachel said with a nervous chuckle. "I couldn't wait any longer," her voice became more serious.
"It's alright Rach. How long have you known, about, uh, the baby?" Ross asked, timidly.
"A few weeks, I found out after the car accident," Rachel told him.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Ross asked dejectedly, his eyes downturned.
"At first I was afraid to tell you, after our conversation. Then I tried to tell you at the wedding but we were interrupted by Mona," Rachel explained, her temper rising a degree.
Ross began to get a guilty feeling deep within his chest, that and sorrow. He had really made some mistakes that he fully regretted.
"So what happens now? Where do we go from here?" Ross asked gently. He focused on Rachel's blue eyes.
"It's up to you. You can be as involved as you want. I can do this alone if I need to, but I'm going to have this baby," Rachel stressed. It was not even an option to put this baby up for adoption or have it aborted. She was going to keep this baby. Ross answered faster than she anticipated.
"I'd be the biggest jerk if I asked you to do this alone. I want to be there for you and this baby. I'm your friend, I will be there every step of the way," Ross explained with assurance. Rachel was happy to have his support, but one word he'd said began to bother her.
"So we'll just be friends who have a kid, then," Rachel assumed, trying not to look Ross in the eye.
Ross thought about her point for a moment. The word friend had just come naturally, but he could tell Rachel was making an implication. Could they just be friends? They were having a baby together.
Rachel grew impatient as she watched Ross' brow furrow in deep thought.
"You know what Ross? I think I already know the answer. Don't worry about it," Rachel said casually.
"I messed up any chance of us having a relationship, didn't I?" Ross questioned, trying not to seem too depressed.
"I was actually referring to Mona. You're dating Mona, all we can be is friends who have a kid if she's okay with it," Rachel explained, hiding her true feelings as usual.
"Right. I do have Mona," Ross said, looking at Rachel seriously. Rachel felt uncomfortable under his gaze, as she glanced down at her watch.
"Oh, I have to go," Rachel noticed. Her window for her lunch break was drawing to a close. "I'm going to be late and Mr. Zelner won't be happy," Rachel explained.
"I'm glad you stopped by, Rach. Don't think - don't think I'm not happy to be having this baby. I'll be there for you," Ross revealed, effectively slowing Rachel's rush to stand and throw her purse over her shoulder.
"I'll see you soon," Rachel stated, feeling herself get chocked up.
Ross stood and walked around his desk, Rachel's heart began to race as she watched him draw near.
He approached her, without saying a word. When he was within an arm's reach he gently placed his hand on Rachel's lower stomach. Rachel's breath caught in her throat. It gave her goosebumps as his hand touched where their baby existed within her.
"I have a picture," Rachel whispered, filling the gap of silence after Ross awkwardly let his hand drop. She slid her purse off her shoulder to briefly search its contents.
She found the small square of card she was looking for, and promptly handed it to Ross.
If his gesture didn't make her tears overflow the way he looked at this ultrasound photo did. His eyes softened, as he stared at the black and white picture in awe.
"That's just - that's unbelievable," Ross stuttered, as he looked at the baby he didn't know existed prior to yesterday. His baby. His and Rachel's baby.
"You can keep that if you'd like," Rachel offered, noticing Ross become lost in thought.
"Thanks Rach," Ross said, sincerely. He tore his gaze from the photo to look at her.
They both laughed at the happy tears that filled both their eyes. It was a joyful sound echoing off the walls of Ross' office.
Ross couldn't help but pull Rachel into a warm hug. This time there was no one watching, it was just the two of them lost in their moment of happiness.
Rachel could hear Ross' heart beating as fast as hers. Ross held her sweetly against his chest. She could stay like that all day, his protective arms wrapped around her, the joy filling the air. Even when they pulled away, their smiles remained plastered on their faces.
Unfortunately the grins began to fade fast, as their fleeting moment ended and reality hit once more.
"Now I'm going to be really late," Rachel stated. Ross reached around her to open the door.
"Rachel," Ross called, as she began to leave. This caused Rachel to spin back around to face him, holding her breath with anticipation. He stuck half his body around the office doorframe.
Ross immediately forgot why he shouted to her. He figured he just wanted to talk longer, or arrange a time to have a heart-to-heart again. But, he lost his nerve when he thought of how Mona would feel.
"Take care," Ross ended up saying.
