Chapter 12: Of Loss and Love

Although the sun was shining through the gray clouds that promised rain, or perhaps even an early snow, the beauty of the day seemed lost on the hushed tables. Only the Slytherin table seemed lively, talking and laughing. Calamity's eyes paused on Severus Snape, who was the only student not participating in the usual clamor. Of course, half the time he kept to himself, so perhaps this wasn't odd. Margaret, Susan, and Lily were nowhere to be found. They hadn't been in the dorm, either. Maybe they were already in the library finishing up work before class? Calamity sat down and reached for a paper, putting her bag on the stool next to her.

"Have you seen Lily," Sirius asked sitting next to Calamity and knocking her bag off of the stool. He reached down quickly and shoved all the books back in to bag and putting it on the table. Without her bag as a barrier, Calamity was very aware of how close their legs were. She was also uncomfortably aware of how dry her mouth had suddenly become.

"I haven't seen her," Calamity said. Sirius glanced down at the paper, still clutched in her hand.

"James is terrifying the Gryffindor first and second years looking for her," Sirius explained. "He won't say why."

Calamity made a sound like a muffled groan. There on the cover of the Daily Prophet, just a small article in the corner, explained Lily's disappearance and the melancholy of the hall.

Dozens of Muggles killed in Simultaneous Attacks

Last night at approximately ten in the evening simultaneous attacks occurred in the villages of Alfriston (East Sussex), Cokeworth (Yorkshire), Staithes (North Yorkshire), Bibury (Gloucestershire), and Portmeirion (Gwynedd, Wales). Upon arriving to the scene, Aurors were baffled to see that every house remained standing and there were no signs of any of the usual havoc, despite the dark mark above each neighborhood. Aurors report that it appeared as if the whole village had gone on vacation. It was only after an hour of searching the Corkshire residents, specifically those found on Spinners End, that Auror Alastor Moody came upon the first of what can only be described as a mass grave.

"We are still trying to match the identity of the bodies to those who lived in each area. It has proven to be tricky," Moody reported to the Daily Prophet "because some of these bodies are not from Corkshire, but appear to have been moved from the other attack locations."

Though the ministry is keeping the identification process and investigation secret, it has been revealed to the Daily Prophet through an unnamed source that the attack was motivated as retaliation against muggles who had "dirtied the world with mudbloods." The Minister of Magic and muggle Prime Minister were not available for comment.

"Oh Merlin," Sirius hissed, he was looking from the paper to Calamity as if he weren't sure what she would do.

"James is looking in the coomonroom," Calamity asked. Sirius nodded and added, "And he said he'd check the astronomy tower."

"I'll check the girls restrooms," Calamity said standing suddenly. "Will you check the library?"

Calamity found Lily and Margaret in the first floor bathroom. Moaning Myrtle's wails could be heard every few minutes as if competing with Lily's tear stained cheeks. Margaret stood when Calamity entered and nodded solemnly, confirming what Calamity could already see from the gray envelope held in Lily's trembling hand.

"We've been here for an hour or so. Most of the shock has worn off," Margaret explained. "I'm to go to classes to get homework assignments. Will you stay here?"

Calamity agreed sitting on the floor. Lily said nothing, she just stared at the floor. Susan returned with chocolate, but Lily did not notice. Calamity wasn't sure how long they sat in silence, but eventually her stomach growled intrusively and Lily glanced up at her two friends waiting patiently.

"Mum's gone," Lily said finally. She held up the letter as she spoke as if this were proof enough. "They didn't move her anywhere, but aurors are still looking for dad. Killed for bring a mudblood into the world." The terms sounded ugly as Lily spat it. "Letter says that Petunia has been contacted. I imagine she's horrified with getting an owl. I'm to wait at school until further notice." She met Calamity's eyes. "How am I suppose to just go about my business?"

"You can't be expected to Lily," Susan assured her. "But it's best you wait until Petunia sends word."

"I'm so tired," Lily said. Calamity could see that she looked older from the letter, the weight of war no longer deniable beyond their walls.

"Madam Pomfrey probably has a dreamless sleep potion," Calamity said. "It'll be nice for some rest today."

"I'll take you," Susan offered. Lily conceded to be escorted out of the bathroom and up to the hospital wing.

Calamity looked at her watch as she stood. She had missed charms, but she could make it to Transfiguration. She could take notes for Lily and share them later, any distraction that was necessary until Petunia sent word. Calamity had met Petunia only in passing and she had not been very impressed with the bony critical woman. Still, it wasn't her business. Her business was to support Lily however she needed.

Calamity reached for her bag, but it wasn't there. She let a groan escape as she realized that she must have left it in the Great hall. She picked up her pace to get it. But it wasn't in the great hall either. She couldn't avoid class and Professor Mcgonogall would not be sympathetic to her mindlessness. She looked at her watch again and turned around running right into a blonde Slytherin with a snooty expression.

Narcissa Black gave a hiss of annoyance as she scrambled to grab her things from the ground. Her gray eyes flashed, "Watch it Yank," she snapped. Calamity's apology caught in her throat at Narcissa's tone. She checked her watch again. She didn't have time for this. She pushed passed without response.

Narcissa was not pleased with being ignored and called after her. "Distracted by your mudblood's loss? Reggie told you it was a time to choose your friends carefully!"

Calamity spun around, head pounding with rage, a rushing sound in her ears. Three lights fired form her wand without a word, hitting Narcissa one right after another and knocking her back to the ground, her hair falling bit by bit to the floor and her skin slowly turning radish red with a sunburn. Calamity stomped to class an sat down still fuming.

Moments later, Sirius entered out of breath. He placed Calamity's bag next to her and smirked.

"You're almost late," Calamity said as he took a seat next to her. He nudged her playfully and she felt an electric spark.

"Got distracted by my balding cousin the hall," Sirius muttered putting his wand on the table. "And trying to find you to return your bag. Did Narcissa say something?"

"Just the usual ridiculous things: threats, insults about Lily, the like," Calamity said, still feeling the rage pumping through her arms. She felt Sirius' hand on hers. He peered at her half shyly, though his rouguish smile was still in place.

"You know, I wouldn't let anything happen to you. I'd jinx them to next week," Sirius whispered.

"You think I need the protection," Calamity teased.

"Maybe you're right. You can hex with the best of them,"Sirius said. He moved his hand back with a wink, leaving Calamity's hand suddenly much colder than it had been before. She almost reached out again, but restrained.

Lily returned later that evening to their table in the library where Susan, Margaret, and Calamity were doing anything except studying. She sat down and pulled out her Charms book and opened it.

"Potter was looking for you during Transfiguration," Susan said carefully. "Did he find you?"

Calamity shot her a sideways glance. Lily seemed unperturbed.

"I think so," Lily said. The girls waited for an elaboration, but when it was clear none would come unprompted, Margaret said hesitantly, "What do you mean you think?"

"He left me a card and a flower on my table. I found it when I woke up."

"Oh," Susan said in a tone of amazement. "What did it say?" A slight blush was creeping up Lily's cheek.

"Just that he was sorry and to remember that he is there for me if I needed anything. He said he would take care of all the prefect meetings and not to worry. That sort of thing."

"Well what are you-" Susan began, but Margaret cut her off with a look.

"Lily doesn't have time to think about Potter right now. It has been a trying day, so when she wants to hsare she can." she turned to Lily and added, "Calamity brought the notes you missed."

Lily looked thankful for any chance to change the subject, so she turned to Calamity who took her que and began rummaging for the notes.

"What do you mean," protested Susan. "In times like these its even more important to think about those small moments. You want us just to study and get stuck in the lists of missing people?"

A flash of pain crossed Lily's face, but she pushed it away as quickly as it had come.

"Fine. Potter's gesture was nice, but can we talk about it another time," Margaret urged spotting Lily's expression. "Calamity, did you find them?"

"Got them in here," Calamity said spilling the contents of her bag across the tension at the table was broken by the mess and the exasperation that followed.

"Seriously," asked Lily, pushing an extra quill that had fluttered to her side of the table away from her charms book. She pulled the book open to a review section.

"Not like you have to practice like the rest of us mere mortals," joked Calamity. Lily gave her a sideways look before turning back to the book, resting her forehead on her hand. Calamity was still sifting through her mess.

"We're working now?" Susan said, a note of disappointment in her voice. Despite this she took out her potions textbook and opened to the Wit-Sharpening Potion. "Fine. I'll start here. You start on Defense Against the Dark Arts and we'll talk after."

Margaret nodded.

Calamity spotted the parchment under one of the books and she made an ah-ha! sound. She held the book up and passed the notes to Lily, who began looking them over curiously. Calamity looked back at the book. She had never seen it before. Calamity turned over the book curiously. It seemed to look like any book did in her bag- old and leather bound, perhaps a bit dusty. She looked back at her pile. All books seemed to be accounted for: Charms, Transfiguration, Herbology, Potions... What could this book be? She checked the binding again, there was no title. She began to open the book, to the first page. In cursive writing it said To Clara "Calamity" Ezra-Mahoney.

Without warning, the book seemed to jump to life and the pages began to turn on their own. There were no words were on the large yellowing pages. Instead there was a stick figure with a roguish smile and black hair swagging across the page. An arrow appeared above it that read Sirius. Stick figure Sirius was joined by James, Remus, and Peter. They jostled one another as they walked. A stick figure with it's nose in a book sat at the bottom of the page. A quick heart appeared and disappeared above Sirius. Remus broke away from the group and shook hands with the figure. A dark storm cloud appeared above stick figure Sirius' head. The rest of the marauders disappeared and only Sirius and the book figure were left. She went back to her reading and Sirius tried to get her attention. He flew on a broom around her, he threw paper airplanes at her, he even released a dragon- but the figure just turned a page. Finally, the Sirius stick figure approached her. She looked up at him. Another heart appeared over Sirius' head and he grabbed it quickly, handing it to the book reading figure. The stick figures disappeared. The pages turned blank again. After a moment, the book closed entirely and sat as if nothing had occurred.

Calamity's cheeks were warm and she felt a strange flipping in her stomach region.

"Wow," breathed Margaret. Calamity looked up to see that Susan, Margaret, and Lily were watching her having seen the whole show.

"What are you going to do," asked Lily.

"Was that me," Calamity asked quietly.

"I think we all know you aren't that dense," scoffed Susan.

"Save my spot," Calamity said.

Calamity didn't often do things without thinking, though today was becoming an act-without-thinking day. First leaving her bag to find Lily, then hexing Narcissa, and now she found herself rushing down the stairs to the portrait of the fat lady. She almost forgot the password in her rush, but managed to stumble into the commonroom. She felt suddenly nervous and attempted to press her hair into place as she looked around the room.

"Calamity, you alright?" Remus asked from a table near by. He was rereading the potions essay he had written, making corrections.

"Er," she said glancing around and feeling her sense return a bit. She felt embarrassed. Remus looked at her for a moment before smirking in an annoying knowing sort of way.

"He's up in the dorm," Remus said. "Our names are on the door."

She pushed the door open to find his back turned to her, his arms digging in his trunk for something. At the sound of the door though, he said, "Moony, honestly, where is my lucky quill?" He turned to reveal a huge bruise around his eyes that shone in black and purple, a black sock in his hand. He looked her over. "You're not Moony." He realized he was holding a sock and tossed it onto the floor.

"What happened," she said looking at the eye.

"Just, er, a bit of a spat with my brother. I was going to heal it in a bit," He looked embarrassed, but then seemed to recognize that he was in her dorm and that she, a girl, was not normally found there. "You saw the book?"

She moved forward, careful to doge the piles of clothes and brooms scattered about on the ground. Sirius didn't move, watching her. She looked up at him. This close she could see a bit of yellow in the bruise.

"You have ink, right here," Sirius said. He reached up and gently rubbed her cheek. The ink gone, his hand lingered. Calamity stood on the balls of her feet and hesitantly brought her lips to his, feeling a thrill of electricity run through her from her lips. In another moment, Sirius wrapped his arm around her lower back, pulling her closer. They pulled away when the door opened once more revealing Remus and Peter.

"It's about bloody time! Pay up, Moony," said Peter with an exasperated tone. He turned to Remus who handed over a small jingling bag.

"I figured you two wouldn't get it together until Christmas," Remus smirked.