Chapter 12
National and foundation days did not denote a birthday. Nations didn't have birthdays. They weren't born the way humans were and didn't track time on the same scale. Because of this it was rare that any nation actually celebrated their birthday with a party. Poland, being the type of guy he was, was one of the few who did on a date, Prussia assumed, was arbitrary.
It was the first time in years he would be going and the first time in history he was actually invited. Usually he just crashed it but didn't even work up the energy for that in a while. This time though he had an impression to make, more so than usual.
Was it wrong to be so self conscious? Because they all were though they loathed to admit it. He wanted to show that he was OK, that he didn't need their sympathy. Being a landless nation, was that really so bad? He didn't have to worry about some of the things they did and he could just live and be. It was great and he'd show them.
The best way to do that was to show up happy and healthy, as energetic as he always was. He wouldn't gloat about it, not intentionally of course, and he'd bring the best present of them all. It'd be awesome. The problem was coming up with the appropriate gift for to occasion. It had been years since he'd actually spoken to Poland. They didn't have the best past in the world, but really who in Europe did.
Get over it.
He knew Poland liked horses, of course that wouldn't change. It couldn't. Or else Poland couldn't be Poland. Poland was always strange. Even when they were young he had a resilience that even Prussia had to admire. He was aptly described as a phoenix: Poland, the nation with hair golden as the straw in a field and eyes green like a dewy spring.
Prussia had grown not from a people but out of a desire for control. He was born to conquer and to fight in the name of God. His eyes were swirls of shimmering blood and his hair was white like bone and sinew. How fitting would it be that of his contemporaries it was he who should be dying first. Humankind no longer had the need for an aggressor like him, they'd distanced themselves from both war and religion, and had wizened up beyond that. The people didn't want to be represented by someone like him any longer. Even in his final days when he watched and stopped his people from crossing over to all that his younger brother had to offer, he knew. It wasn't the allies who truly killed him but rather it was time.
He was outdated and refused to grow, obsolete.
He followed Russia eastward towards what was supposed to be death with his head high and hands bound. He bared his teeth and pretended he had a smile on his face due to smugness rather than a grimace from the bite of the cuffs.
Betrayal wasn't what his aim was when he was dissolved after the war and denied the name Prussia. He took the punishment that came. He thought he would disappear completely . His people had long fled his historic capitol after all. Brandenburg and Saxony stood by his side when none of the other satellite nations and others couldn't even bare to look at him afraid to look too closely at a nation who was set to wilt away before their eyes.
When he didn't perhaps it was just as much a surprise to everyone else as it was to himself. In time Russia came with a proposition to make a new name for himself, to reinvent the awesomeness that was him. There had only been one condition to retaining the land that would become the German Democratic Republic: Konigsburg.
In hindsight Prussia could only see what he did as a sign of his desperation. Nations didn't usually bargain with their capitols. Even Lithuania had contested what he thought was rightfully his and yet all Prussia could see was land and the potential for once again acquiring power. The arrangement with Konigsburg wasn't permanent he convinced himself despite Brandenburg's warnings and he was happy to see the navy ships once again in its harbor. He was winning because he had people and he had a military. It was what he told himself he wanted. He abandoned the God he once devoted his life to in the pursuit of such glories and Russia gave it to him as if he were feeding Prussia seed from the palm of his hand.
But that was all irrelevant.
Prussia was mortified with the way his mind deviated from the topic at hand. Poland's party. Poland's present. That was all that he should think about. It wasn't the time for an existential crisis. Things were beautiful. Things were looking up.
Leaving the shower and returning to his room helped dispel the gloom. How could he remain down when he was greeted with the sight of his boyfriend sleeping soundly in the middle of his bed? Prussia switched off the lights and joined Denmark there. He didn't bother to be shy about cuddling up to his side. Denmark knew that's how he liked to sleep.
Having that big warm bulk beside him was comforting and he closed his eyes and took in that distinct scent that was rapidly becoming his favorite. He wiggled his way under the blanket and Denmark stirred as well sleepily getting under as well. Denmark was back to sleep again and Prussia pulled the blanket over his shoulders before scooting closely.
Prussia had to wonder, did Denmark know how much his presence meant to him. Not just as a lover but as a friend. It was nice. Lately his circle of acquaintances had grown so small and he began to feel the nagging doubt that his presence was even appreciated. He didn't miss the gratitude towards Denmark sparkling in Germany's blue eyes, it only added fuel to his theory. He was wasting away and Germany could no longer bare to look at it. He wasn't the brother anymore that Germany had been so proud of. That was probably what hurt the most.
Brandenburg and the others let themselves wander off on their lands like vagrants, some took up quiet residences in little country houses. Slowly their presence would fade but still Prussia could feel them all even in the dark of the night. Prussia wondered if he should envy them their slow but steady retirement. He didn't have a land to roam and he ignored the dull ache in his heart urging him to go east.
There was nothing there.
-to be continued-
AN- sorry for the angst haha it had to be done before the party though lol. thanks for reading. please review!
