The last corridor.
You walk around, investigating every corner. You're searching for something you may have missed, something that might help you solve the puzzle of sparing Chara. However, as hours pass by, you can't manage to grasp it, even if it seems like it's right here.
The walls, the windows and the pillars are so huge, that they make you feel incredibly small and vulnerable in comparison. It also feels like they are staring at you... judging you... blaming you... reminding you of everything that once happened at their witness. This room is really, really uncomfortable.
The thundering bird's chirp forces your soul to skip a beat and suddenly you sense a wave of growing panic. You decide that you've had enough of this place and turn around to leave, when you bump into someone.
You open your mouth to apologize, but freeze as soon you focus your gaze. Your body starts to tremble like a leaf in a blizzard.
There is a small, crooked figure right in front of you.
You try to flinch away instinctively and teleport out of here. You want to run, to hide, to do something... but you can't. You can't move. You can't move at all.
'Sans, what should we do!?' you shout mentally, but there is no answer.
'P-please... help me...' you ask for help.
But nobody came.
The world starts to crumble around you, leaving an empty black void where it's only you, the small demon and no hope for escape.
Insane laughter fills everything. Wild echoes pick it up and bounce it from the nothingness back at you, digging into your skull, twisting into your nerves, piercing your mind. It's so loud that you think you will go deaf but, unfortunately, you don't, and you're forced to listen to the terrifying sound.
The child looks up, revealing their face. Twisted features are crossed by an unnatural demonic smile. Red eyes glowing with madness and hate are staring right into yours.
They inch closer and closer as you can't do anything but stand and watch, filling with more horror with every passing second. It's seems like there is no end to this mad staring contest when, right in front of your face, they stop. The seemingly endless laughter disappears from you mind, leaving a ringing silence.
Then their face starts to melt, dripping on to you and you shudder in disgust.
"Y.. yo-u.. k-ilLd mee..." You hear a distorted whisper that shakes you down to the core, pushing tears of guilt and despair from your eyes.
In the next moment the void is pierced with the FIGHT sound. You feel cold steel on your ribs and your soul bursts with pain.
The color red swallows everything.
You jerk up, clutching your burning chest and gasp for air, shaking and not fully understanding yet who you are and where you are.
The distinct feeling of a soul trembling from pain slowly brings you back to your senses.
'I-i-i-t was j-just a n-n-nightmare,' you stutter mentally, trying to convince yourself of that. Your teeth are clanking against each other, tapping away something in improvised Morse code.
Staring absently in front of you and breathing heavily, you begin to calm down. It's still dark in Sans' room. A quiet and peaceful night. It's quiet and peaceful everywhere but in your mind, as you start to hear groaning and mumbling at the back of your head. It appears that Sans is suffering from a nightmare too.
'no... not again...' he whines in his sleep and your aching souls squeeze in your chest. You can't stand him going through this. Immediately, you decide to wake him up.
'Sans...' you call out to him. 'It's just a bad dream, Sans. Wake up.'
You hear a loud gasp followed by heavy breathing, the same as yours before.
'ughhh... is... is this mornin' already?' he mutters in a tired voice after catching his breath.
'No, sorry...' His mental image appears to you and you look at him with worry. He looks so lost and fragile right now. 'I noticed that you're having a nightmare...'
'damn... did I wake ya up?' he asks, holding his forehead in a bony palm.
'No-no... I... I just woke up from a nightmare too,' you admit reluctantly.
'oh.' Sans glances at you under his hand and you sense a quick change of emotions coming from him. Surprise, to worry and to sadness. 'that sucks, buddy.'
'Do you want to talk about it?' You're pretty sure he is not going to share anything with you but you have to at least try. 'It might make you feel better.'
'no... no...' He rubs his face and slowly shake his head, like he's struggling with something.
'i'm just so...' A tired sigh escapes him. 'so stressed out and i can't do anything 'bout it... i just... i wish...'
'Wish what?' you ask, urging him to continue. 'What do you wish?'
'uh, forgeddaboudit.' He turns away and you can barely hold back your irritation. Sans is just so stubborn.
'Oh, come on! Don't be that way! I'm sure we can do something with that.' You drill the back of his skull with a puppy-eyed stare and he slowly turns back to you.
'Do you want to go and pet the dogs again? Or would you prefer to pet Papyrus?' His shoulders twitch like he is about to laugh. 'No? Then how about we go to Grillby's?'
'I want to help you, Sans! And I...' You sigh. 'I understand you. All of this waiting is eating up my nerves too.'
Sans doesn't respond, but he is sure thinking about something. The pinpricks of light in his eye sockets are quivering and shifting left and right. Sweat is sliding down his skull and you start to really worry about him. You don't understand why he's so nervous. It might be the most nervous you ever saw him.
'i... i...' Now he is shaking, like something is tearing him apart from the inside.
'i can't... i can't take this anymore...' he whispers as his shoulders drop and a sudden wave of mixed emotions hits you. There are so many emotions that you're almost drowning in them. It's like something broke the dam inside of Sans' mind and now everything he feels is pouring down at you.
'you've been... so honest with me all this time.' He is struggling with every word as you desperately trying to sort out your feelings from his, not quite understanding what is going on. 'in fact, you're so honest in what you feel and say and do, that at first i thought it was all just some sort of a trick.'
'hah... ' Sans chuckles nervously and shakes his head. 'but you are just that. honest.'
'and... it can't be your turn forever... r-right?' He stutters, refusing to look at you. 'i guess i owe you some honesty too...'
The emotional storm rages inside of your combined souls. You're stunned by what is going on right now. What's got into him? But after gathering yourself you think that you finally get it.
Sans is opening up... and it's just unbelievable.
Though you have to admit that knowing more about him is something that would be good for both of you, something nags you about this. It's obvious that he is still vulnerable after having that nightmare.
'Are you sure?' you ask slowly and carefully. 'You don't owe me anything, really. I just... I don't want you to regret this afterwards...'
'no... i... i want to... i really want to... i really...' But his voice doesn't sound certain.
'look...' He rubs his face and talks to you but it feels like he's trying to convince himself. 'you told me before that you needed to get things out of your system and it's really stuck in my head since then...'cause i... i might really need this too.'
'i mean... you prolly know that i don't tell anythin' to anybody, right? heh, yeah...' He chuckles uncomfortably. 'everybody knows that by now, b-but... i feel...'
'ugh.' He sighs in irritation. Seems like it's really hard for him to find the right words.
'remember, how back when we just met, ya said that uh... sometimes you remember stuff, but vaguely? that you feel like you've done it before?' he asks you suddenly and you nod in response.
'that's what i feel... like i tried. tried to share. it's just all... gone.' The hopeless feelings are spewing out of him with every word and it's painful. It's painful to hear that. 'gone with another god damn reset and nobody, including me, remembers it.'
'Oh...' You don't know what to say, but it does explains a lot. Or at least why Sans was so closed off.
'i was still thinking 'bout it, a'right? but i always stopped, 'cause what's the point in blabbing if everyone will just forget everything?' He jerks his shoulders in a weak attempt at shrug.
'but now... if i talk, i will remember and if i tell you... you will remember too, even if time resets. and it's just so tempting to...' It seems like he is livening up a little, but then he sighs and hangs his head. 'ah, crap, no... no... i shouldn't...'
'i shouldn't bother you with my damn things...' Sans hides his face in his hands and you feel the strong urge to slap him. Or hug him. Or both. 'there is enough going on so...'
'Sans...' You cut off his mumbling with a stern look. 'I want to hug you so tight right now, so it would squeeze all this crap out of you.'
He looks up at you with confusion and you take that as your cue to talk. 'You will not bother me at all.'
'In this situating we... we must support each other, okay? I would love to know. I would love to know more about you and I would love to help you.' You try to sound as reassuring as possible. 'You can tell me anything. Anything you're comfortable sharing I will share with you!'
'ha-ha. see? SEE? you are so DAMN nice i just can't... i can't handle it.' Now he's laughing but it's some kind of weird, unsure laughter.
Sans stares down, thinking for some time. The emotional storm somewhat settles down, but you still can feel a lot more from him than you used to. It's really strange and concerning.
He sighs and starts to talk. 'it's all of this, y'know?'
'Uh... What?' you ask, confused.
'i mean... i... i thought... ugh... ' A frustrated sound escapes him. 'i thought that knowing exactly what's going on would give me control over the situation. i thought that remembering everythin' between timelines would be better than forgetting... and look at me now...'
He chuckles humorlessly and shakes his head. 'i have no control at all.'
'i know stuff and i remember stuff... but...' He hides face in his hands once again, making his words sound a bit muffled. 'even in my dreams i can't move and there is dust and blood and right now... i wish to forget...'
Shocked and saddened by Sans revelation you mutter, 'So we have same nightmares, huh...'
'wait... really?' He lifts his head to look at you in disbelief.
'Yeah...' The fear and guilt that you felt in your nightmare returns and starts to gnaw you from the inside. 'Can't fight, can't escape, can't forget...'
For a while both of you sit in silence, eaten by your own and shared demons.
'I'm really sorry, Sans...' You break as you can't hold yourself anymore. 'That I made you feel this way... That you have no control, I mean... And... I wish to forget too... I... I feel awful... I am awful...'
'told ya already, that you're not.' He looks at you with sadness seeping out of him. 'you are a nice person.'
'Ha! What kind of a nice person kills children and lets innocent people die!? I... I...' You feel tears approaching and get irritated with yourself. It's not the time to be a crybaby, when you're supposed to help Sans.
'you're better than this, buddy. please, don't cry.' He is comforting you... It makes you feel bad.
'Ugh, sorry.' You sniff angrily, trying to get ahold of yourself. 'I'm way too emotional and I can't help it. I... I can't even hide it away from you. I'm really sorry about that...'
'hey.' He draws your attention. 'it's not... uh, it's actually the opposite, buddy.'
'Huh?'
'i'll explain... if you're still willin' to listen to me...' You nod sharply. 'alright...'
'your emotions...' Sans starts his explanation. 'i can feel 'em all the time. they are all 'round my soul and it's, uh... s'really hard to put to words.'
'but all of them... your energy, your optimism, your passion... it all reminds me... of me, actually.' Your surprise must be palpable as you hear Sans chuckle in response.
'heheh. yes, it's true... i'm not lazy, y'know.' He shrugs. 'i've never been lazy and i used to be passionate too... 'bout my job, 'bout my friends... 'bout my family...'
'even now i am... or, huh, it's what i have to tell myself every goddamn day. every goddamn minute. to convince myself... because he needs me and i need him to need me, o-okay?' he says with despair in his voice. You're filled with mixed feelings of both sadness and warmth as you can only assume he is talking about Papyrus. 'cause without him... who'll need me...?'
'but now... oh god, i shouldn't say these things, but, uh, whatever...' He shakes his head like he's trying to shoo away an annoying fly.
'these emotions of yours are all around my soul. they all are so persistent, so contagious... i tried so hard to push them back, to close off like i used to, 'cause it's painf... ugh...' He stops himself, irritated, and waves his hand dismissively. 'nah, it's not that.'
'i closed off because it's you, it's not me...' He continues. 'but i just can't resist anymore. and it's so... so...'
'god, i'm so bad at talking...' Sans shakes his head again.
'but s'not a bad thing, no. it's not like i thought it would be. it's just... reminded me about how life used to be... and after so many years?' he asks himself staring into the empty space.
'i finally feel alive... And just... FEEL. y'know, in general,' he says and it seems like he really means it. You are simply stunned. 'optimism, confidence, determination... so many emotions. and even anger and sadness is fine by me, because they make me feel like i actually have a soul and i'm not the machine i've became lately.'
'i feel like... like despite the anomaly, despite two crazy children on the loose, despite not being in control... despite everything i... i have hope,' he confesses in a shaky voice like it's strange for him to even say that. But you feel it. You feel it through his opened soul, thought the crack in the mask that he always wearing, thought the broken dam he built to hide the flow of emotions away from you... You feel that he does feel hope.
'and i just... i just have to thank you for that. you're... ha-ha. 'His laughter is nervous, but it feels sincere too. 'you are something special after all...'
You are at a loss of words. What can you even say after that speech? A silly, astounded smile settles on your borrowed face and you feel tears approaching again, but this time it's an entirely different type of tears.
'I'm so, so glad to hear it... Thank you...' You are pushing coherent thoughts through your still quite stunned mind just to tell him something. Just to show how much it means to you that he opened up for you. 'Thank you for sharing all this with me.'
'hey.' Sans responds quietly. 'no problem.'
He breathes out in content and mumbles. 'wow. huh. it... actually helped… who could've guessed.'
You lie on the mattress, relishing in positive feelings. You can't quite tell yours and Sans' emotions apart, but right now you don't even care too much about it.
After a little bit, something comes to your mind and now you are simply beaming with happiness.
'So... friends?' you ask gingerly, inner voice full of hope.
'i, uh...' Sans suddenly turns away
'Wha...?' Oh... of course.
Realization comes rushing like an ice shower. He already knew everything about you from the very start. He has read your soul, your thoughts, your feelings. For him you are just a weirdo who took over his body. An annoying fan, who thought that he was your friend after playing a game with him as character. It's simply selfish to assume he would like to be friends for real.
He sighs and turns back to you. 'no. whatever you're thinking back there the answer is no.'
'i don't think about you as bad or annoying and i don't hate you for ending up in my body. i just...' He sighs again.
'do you really want to call me your friend? what kind of friend am i? an imaginary friend? heh... ' He chuckles bitterly.
'But that's not true, Sans!' you burst. 'You are helping me so much! Without you I wouldn't be able to stop Chara. Without you I would be so lost and alone in here... You keep telling me that I'm special... But you are special too!'
'So, okay, maybe it's not my fault that I ended up in your body, but it's definitely not your fault either!' You have to admit that it is kind of silly of you to always blame yourself for that. 'And it's the least I can do to help you, to support you, to be your friend.'
'heheh...' He closes his eye sockets, laughing softly and, after few moments of thinking, he says, 'if ya say so... friend.'
Hearing that is just so great. You aren't sure how can you repay him, but you may have one idea.
'Sans... you… You trust me, right?' He nods, looking at you, one eye closed. 'I want to try something, if you don't mind.'
'heh...' He shrugs. 'sure.'
Without hesitation you draw out your combined souls. They are beating steadily, pulsing in sync. You breathe in and out to calm yourself and slowly reach your bony finger to touch them.
The forgotten overwhelming experience strikes you again. You are flowing in the streams of the combined mentalities, of who you are and who Sans is. For a moment it feels like he is really here, right beside you and you gather everything positive and fond that you think about him, sending it through your soul to him. The next second his soul starts to tremble and you feel a wave of emotional response...
You can only interpret it as timid "thank you."
