Authors notes: I want to apologise to my readers I have made a mistake in my time line. I put in the summary that it this story is set one year after Jane joins the CBI but I have also hinted that it is the anniversary of the death of his family, so to keep the anniversary, as that is important for his mental state, I have changed the summary to say that it is six months since he joined. Hope you will forgive me. Another challenging chapter hope you like it and that it seems real.

Lisbon wonders exactly what she is doing here as she approaches Jane's door. She hears a raised voice and quickens her pace. She knocks

"Jane open the door."

There is silence on the other side. She knocks again.

"Come on Jane I know you're in there, are you alright?"

She hears some shuffling and then the door opens and Jane is standing before her. He has a smile plastered on his face but it is a weak attempt, she can see the distress behind it and a redness around the eyes.

"Hi Lisbon, sorry I didn't go back to headquarters but I decided to get some sleep."

"And that's why you didn't answer your phone."

"Well yes!"

"Do you always sleep in your clothes Jane?"

A smile twitches at he corner of his mouth and he shrugs:

"Sometimes. If it's alright with you Lisbon I have had a long day and I would like to get back to sleep."

"No it isn't. Let me in." Lisbon takes a step towards him and Jane opens the door wider and lets her in.

Lisbon watches as Jane follows her into the room and sits down on the bed. The heaviness of his steps. the sadness in his expression are not lost on her. She has never seen Jane like this since he first entered the CBI.

"Jane are you alright?"

"I'm fine, would you like some tea?"

Lisbon shakes her head and they both sit down at the bottom of the bed.

"I talked with Mr. Poulson, he says that his Mother..."

"Yes she did."

Jane stared at her but not before Lisbon saw him look down almost as if he is embarrassed,

"I thought you told me, you didn't know him?"

Jane gives a sigh:

"I don't, I have never seen him before, I put two and two together while he was strangling me and shouting about his mother."

Jane's hand had moved to his neck while speaking. Lisbon sees an ugly red mark.

"We haven't arrested him but if you want to press charges..."

Jane waves his hand:

"Meh, it's no less than I deserve."

Lisbon reaches out and touches Jane's arm and says softly:

"You shouldn't think like that."

Jane turns and looks at her. He sees a face full of concern and his self hatred is repelled by it. Lisbon watches as Jane's expression turns cold.

"I destroy people. I pretended I was helping them, but I was fleecing them of thousands. I destroyed my family, I destroyed Angela Poulson, stick around and I will probably destroy you."

"I'm not that invested in you Jane."

Jane can't help a small smile.

"You didn't destroy your family, Red John did, Nothing you might have done deserves that. And it was him who killed Angela Poulson."

"Because of me!"

"No because Red John is a twisted monster, who needs to be stopped and together we can get him. We need you on this Jane. Red John is taunting you to send you off kilter so you won't be of any use to us. He wants you off this case and you have to ask yourself why."

Jane is staring straight ahead rubbing his right thumb across his fingernail.

"He doesn't want me off the case, he is turning my hunt for him in to a game. He feels that he is the master and that I have become his puppet whose strings he can pull anytime he wants. I don't have any choices anymore, my life is his and more people will pay the price because of it."

He finally looks at her and almost whispers:

"That price may become too high but I can stop it."

Lisbon is horrified as the meaning of his words hits her.

"No Jane. Don't you see, this as been about bringing you to this point. He's been watching you, he has seen how good you are. You have him scared Jane. He's not starting a game, he is trying to end it!"

Jane stares at her intently until Lisbon begins to feel uncomfortable wondering if he can see in to her soul and then she sees a change in Jane's demeanor.

"Well done Lisbon you're right I am good, Red John's scared because there is someone who can catch him. No disrespect to you"

"Of course."

Jane stands up and pulls Lisbon up:

"Shall we get started?"

"Everyone has gone home Jane it's 2 a.m."

Lisbon's mind is in a whirl at the change in Jane.

"Sorry, you go home and get some sleep."

"I'm not sure if I should leave you Jane."

Jane takes Lisbon by the shoulders and looks in to her eyes:

"I'm fine Lisbon, you made me fine, thank you."

He pulls her into a hug which shocks Lisbon and she isn't sure what to do but as Jane tightens his grip she responds by patting his back.

"Um, you're welcome Jane."

Jane draws back and gives her a teasing smile:

"Hugging not your thing Lisbon? I can see I will have to do something about that. Now go home and get some sleep, unless you want to share a bed."

"Jane!"

He winks at her and Lisbon smiles.

"Alright I will see you at the office."

"Ready and able boss."

Jane gives her a salute. Lisbon rolls her eyes and Jane flashes her a smile. He opens the door and Lisbon gives an 'are you sure' look which gets a nod in reply.

"Good night Jane"

"Good night Lisbon and thank you."

Jane watches as she walks towards her car and raises a hand as she drives away. He softly closes the door and turns around walks to the bed and scuffs off his shoes. He lays down on the bed, puts his hands behind his head and stares at the ceiling.

"Thank you Angela. I will find Red John and he will get what he deserves, I promise you and Charlotte, no matter what it costs."